ArSha OneShots - Art imitates life imitates art - Updated Page 13 - Page 4

Originally posted by: Couch_Potato

ii.

She would never admit it even on a good day but she is envious of Kriya Ghai.

When she had first realised it, she had been so shocked she'd stumbled on her feet and had to sit down on the pavement for a minute. She had been walking home from uni, sometime during her first week in New York.

--

As a middle child and one of four sisters, envy wasn't an unfamiliar feeling for her. She had grown up wishing she had a better voice like Neeti di, a better sense of dressing like Mukti or perhaps just the ability to make friends instantly like Kriti. But she had been born with the will of a lion and the flight of a bird instead and she wouldn't change that for anything.

They tell her that when she was very young, she had injured herself and experts (doctors, medics, miracle workers, god men) had told her she would never walk proper again. And so, of course as these things go, she had learnt to dance instead. But she doesn't remember her first step, her first leap, her first jump, her first pirouette - after the accident. She doesn't remember any of it even though she should. It is her life after all.

When they recount the story - at family gatherings, in interviews, on live television - she listens on and tries to picture herself as the girl they are talking about. She can't. But then she reasons, she's probably locked it all away in her subconscious somewhere. Along with other things.

She had taken psychology 101 as an elective in first year college. When she was still unsure about what exactly she wanted to do, who she wanted to be. When there were so many things to learn and so little time. When she felt like she was soo many people all at once, all trapped inside and she needed to find a way, some way, any way to untangle the wool of her being. She thought psychology would help and so she had stayed up night after night pouring over the books. She had not only aced her exams but also learnt a few tricks along the way. She'd also befriended the people inside her, and they never bothered her again. She's never mentioned that to anyone of course - she learnt that in psychology too.

--

However, when she wakes up from her nightmare in the middle of the night, nothing she's learnt comes to her rescue. It's always the same dream. She's laying on her bed in blue sheets (her favourite colour), trapped in a blanket, alone in the dark. She wants to move, run, walk but she can't. Her feet won't listen to her mind and she's stuck. She's younger in her dreams, still has curly hair and baby fat. When she wakes up in a pool of sweat, she does the only thing she remembers in her haze. She dances. No matter where she is, what time it is, or how tired she feels - she always gets up and does a warm-up routine. She knows people around her think she's a little bit off. She doesn't correct them. Because she figures they're probably right. Not that it matters.

She hates blue now and the dark; but no one exactly knows why. They all assume it's some childhood trauma, a childish fear that was never soothed away and taken care of and she lets them. When her family and friends tease her about her obsession with carbs, tell her she's stick thin and would break into two one day - she laughs along but makes sure to recount the calories on her plate. Her hair too has started to feel burnt from straightening it so often. She doesn't care. She never wants to be the girl in her dreams again.

That girl in her dream had wanted to be an IAS officer. Which is why she isn't one. What she is, is an accidental dancer. Initially, she used to dance to keep the darkness from taking a hold of her. She doesn't exactly remember when it became the only thing that keeps her breathing. Somedays, when she is stretching alone in a studio, she looks at her reflection and thinks she sees that girl trapped behind her eyes. The girl in her dreams that she owes it all to. She hates those moments.

--

She had started dancing as an escape, as salvation; she remembers that part clearly. Remembers going to dance classes even as her body begged her to rest after a long day at school. Remembers practising in front of her mirror. But what she can't recall is when it became the reason she got up every morning. The reason she finished her lunch and completed her homework on time. The reason she stopped obsessing over makeup, boys, pimples.

She doesn't remember when dance became her very existence. But she remembers when it defined it.

--

There is a thin line between knowing something and realising it.

When DID happens to her (she always thinks of it as an event out of her control, something that she believes was meant to be), she's blinded-sided for days. Suddenly it seems like while the entire world is busy watching her every move, and under their patronizing gaze, she's finally found what she's been looking for all along. On the outside, there is wild frenzy - rehearsals, mics, cameras, interviews, press and photo-shoots - happening overnight. But on the inside, she's calm and busy untangling herself as she continues to come to terms with the simplest truth of her life. The answer to her biggest question. It isn't until she gets selected that it finally sinks in - she's a dancer, that's what she was born to be.

A foreign yet comforting tranquility settles into her bones and she struggles to keep the blinding bliss she feels from bursting through.

When the public eye turns to her, she sits composed and poised through it all, completely unruffled - happy, ecstatic, in control. She's short, polite and guarded, genuinely confused by their curiosity. She's sure they'll term her as Ice Princess and finds herself not caring. But something has changed. She can feel it in the air around her. It crackles with energy. Rather than considering her cold and distant, the media loves her. Laps up her diplomatic answers even as they watch enthralled by the sheer unbound joy she exudes when she's caught off guard. When the mask slips. They strive to make her laugh. To catch another glimpse, a small flash, through the cracks of her smile.

From then on, she learns to use her expressions as tactfully as her words and wields her smiles into weapons.

--

She didn't even realise when it becomes a part of her, comes to her as second nature, just like everything else had. Not until he came along, stripped away all of her layers (her carefully built defenses, he'd called it; she'd laughed) and made her forget all the lessons she had so carefully learnt over the years.

Something Kriya Ghai had never needed to do.

Shakti Mohan envies her (she reminds her of that little girl in her dreams), her recklessness, innocence and passion. Something she didn't even realised she'd been hiding until he came along.

--

a/n: I hope you enjoyed this. It's crazy long I know. Once I started writing, somehow my version of Shakti Mohan came out to be far more complex and complicated than I had originally anticipated. Do let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!

Originally posted by: -Khwahish-

This was amazing ... amd you know it was much more intriguing and alluring tha the firsy one !

Ii loved the way you portrayed her vulnerability ... shakti seems head strong from her interviews and mature... never have Ifound her nervous , anxious or naive ...

But we all have.flaws and no one is perfect ...and neither she is ...

The way you sculpted her fears and her drawbacks , take a bow

I always felt she seems different in her solo ivs and when she is with amar , she is in her own jolly world

Not that Ihave any hopes for them , Ialways felt this little soft corner for him , not the other way round maybe...

One cannot portray her trivial nature and complexities in a simple manner so the foundation of those unpleasant memories was of utmost importance and I am super glad u mentioned it !

I find her nature more complex and tangled than it appears ...!

Then the dance part , Ihave read numerous write ups where shakti is portrayed an amazing dancer from the very start and the terminology revolves around her dance

But I love ur terminology more ...that dance was the substitute of the naive ,innocent girl that resided inside her

That was so awesome yaar ... I loved that part especially !

And Iam glad u added chotu sa paragraph on how she is her very own self around her and is not some pretentious being ... beautiful

Btw i want to read her state on amar being in a relationship with someone else *winks* lol

I would love to read that in ur style but lol not sure if the fans will be ok with it

This was out of the world sacchhhii

Keep writing ^_^

Hahahaha. Thank you so much Mahi! I am soo glad it worked for you. Honestly, I was a little nervous about how it would be received because of what you said. There is a particular way she comes across in her IVs and her fans have always seen her very differently than I described her. I also noticed that difference - when she gives an interview alone and then again with him. That was part of what I was trying to convey. And yes, he does seem to have a soft spot for her naa? It's kinda obvious also! I alway feel that childhood memories leave deep scars and I'm happy to know it didn't seem too over the top to you. Hehe. Aur kuch aur hi maang leti Mahi, cuz your wish comes true in the next part! 😉Thanks for reading and commenting Mahi. Always love to hear what you think.

Originally posted by: unishaz

nice one.. a little complicated.. anyway loved it..thanks for pm..

Thanks for reading and commenting Shaz. Glad you enjoyed it!

Originally posted by: Minerva24

That was too good , I was never into fiction based on actors but this sort of pulls you in I loved d way you have described her, her desire to be as free n have that unhinged passion that kria has is awesome! Thanx for d pm n pls continue soon

Thanks so much Minerva. I'm so happy this worked for you. This is also my first time writing fiction on real people too and it's turning out to be quite an experience. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the comment! 😊

Originally posted by: princessSonia

Well done...

Marvellous...

M jzz loss at words...

Ummm I cant find enough words to gve a detailed comment...

U r an exceptionally Amazing writer...

Beautifully written...

Her inner turmoil was described so well...

Do cont soon...

N thanks 4 d pm...

Thank you so much Sonia! I'm so happy to know you enjoyed it and thanks for the comment! 😊

Originally posted by: suwin

awesome update...

Thanks for reading and commenting Suwin!

Originally posted by: anki_22

the inner self of Shakti, I don't think any one can portray them better.. the way you play with words and settle them into an amazing creation, WOW... am in love with your work..

another FATAFATI creation...

and fatafati doesn't have an exact english or hindi translation.. awesome, amazing, fantastic, fabulous, sab milake you can say fatafati..

Hehehe. You're fatafati Anki! Thanks for reading and commenting! 😆

Originally posted by: Arshalicious

Simply mind-blowing update...as usual

I loved the way u have described Shakti's character

The Shakti which we all know about from the interviews is the cheerful, ever-smiling, immensely talented, teasing, hard-working, fun-loving gal...but no person is ever as simple as that...there is always something insanely complicated hidden deep within them

I've always tried to imagine how Shakti must have felt like after her accident...and you have just described everything so perfectly

You must have done thorough analysis on this gal!!

You have reasoned out every single tiny detail...her diet, nyctophobia, straight hair

And lastly, the part about Kunwar...W-O-W

I always feel that both of them seem to bring out the best in each other

Eagerly waiting for ur next update

Keep writing...always!!

Lots of love, Anushka

Anushka! I'm so relieved and happy to know this version of Shakti worked for you! Like I already said, I was afraid how she would be taken considering her well-known image. I agree with you totally, they do bring out the best in each other and that was one of the reasons I started this series! Also, I'm touched that those little details caught your attention. Thanks so much for reading and for the awesome comment! 😊

Originally posted by: SrkDiya

Wow wow wow!!

The way you have visualized Shakti is extremely interesting. You added so many dimensions to her matured and seemingly sorted self. It was beautiful. The jealousy that she had formed towards Kriya was very uncalled for, from her point of view, but this was the truth. And the best part was that it was he, who made her realize that. It was he who made her feel what she actually wanted to be.

Beautifully written. Waiting for the next part anxiously. :)

I loved reading your comment Diya! Thank you soo very much! ArSha share a very interesting bond and that's the crux of this series. I'm glad this worked for you. Looking forward to your comment on the next one! 😊

Originally posted by: _SenbonZakura_

This is out and out brilliant!

You know, if there existed a dark angsty world, you'd be the god there!

I mean, never does one think of her like this, but after reading what you wrote, I don't think of her in any other way anymore.

Amazing it is!

You know, I now don't understand why you'd doubt your abilities as a writer..!

You are gifted!

MUHAHAHA. *cackles* I have twisted your world view. Heh. Anky-san, you have left me speechless. Again. As you often do. *Thank you* 😳

Originally posted by: The007Shivani

That was amazing

Thank you for reading and commenting Shivani! 😊

Originally posted by: reyaditi

nyc...lovd it...

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Originally posted by: -FrozenRain-

Hun this is great..

You depict Shakti so well..

Wow its always a treat to read your works..

Great take on ArSha...:)

Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I'm glad you liked the way Shakti came across! 😊

Originally posted by: akanksha_arsha

OMG.. m reading something over Arsha after ages . ..

woahhh ...

i must say CP u r awesome...

u write stories with such deep meanings..and thats wat makes ur stories different..

i loved how u showed all d disasterous atmosphere suffocating kunwar..

and that last line.. woahh..simply awesomeee...

u r amazinggg

Hahahaha. I'm so glad you decided to give this a shot! I'm glad you enjoyed this. I like that last line too! 😉 Thanks for reading and commenting Akanksha! 😊

Originally posted by: akanksha_arsha

Shakti Mohan envies Kriya Ghai..this line really caught my attention..

I just loved how u portrayed Her... how u shwed everything since d time she was small to everything..

and honestly.. in iv's whenever we see her. she looks all straightforward... icy at times..which she just not in real...

but but..ahaa.. Things seem different when we see her giving iv's with Kunwar..

i mean she is always like..in some other avatar when she is with him...

*sigh ...nywaz.. i loved it CP..

brilliantly written..

You know that was what caught my attention and resulted in this series. Their IVs are indeed very interesting! So glad you enjoyed this! Thanks for reading and commenting on both parts! 😊

Originally posted by: navya_arsha

wow just read both the parts...loved the concept!!

after a looong tym reading about arsha...its worth reading!!

it fabulous i loved each and every sentence...exactly wat s needed to make it fab is there in this..beautifully written...

p.s-thanks anky for the pm

Thank you so much for reading and commenting Navya. I'm so glad you enjoyed my take on ArSha. 😊

Originally posted by: Abhilashaarsha

awsum..

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Originally posted by: Pinkpearly

awesome

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Originally posted by: sweetydiyafrien

just finish reading both ur chapter that great and fabulous ... liked it...

do continue soon and pm me

Thank you so much for reading and commenting! Have added you to the PM list!

Originally posted by: nature2

NYCCC

Thank you for reading and commenting!

Originally posted by: --RAINA--

amazing update

lykd it

Thank you for reading and commenting Raina!

Originally posted by: zona_malik

Dis is Awesome

Ahmazing

Superb

Fab

Splendid

Da depth of the thoughts being reflected in da words is Marvelous

Loving it :)

Thank you so much Zona! Glad you enjoyed it! 😊

Originally posted by: akankshaArsha

i dont remember whether i hv commented on the prev part or not...bt i must say u r amazing wid each nd evry line of both the parts...

the first part of kunwar's fellings, i was stunned...the intensity of ur words is just brilliant...his emotions, confusions, connection wid shakti...evrything...mind it ...evrything is just perfectly described...shakti didnt tell him of being a part of the show, but he didnt felt betrayed...dont know y..?? bt i didnt felt it unnatural..it seems arsha bond is like this only...though i m very well aware of their friendship, bt after reading wat u've written...i feel m meeting new amar nd shakti...nd m liking them...all thanx to u...the last line of that part was bang on...

coming to the second part...this vulnerable shakti is very much new to me, i ve always followed that determined girl who is known for her amazing dance, here dance as a substitute is shocking...nd m more excited to get a view of that bubbly shaks...shakti's fear of dark, her being as a dancer from an IAS officer...m loving evry bit...u described it so well that m able to feel it in myself..the part dat shakti envies kria, it felt very much realistic to me after reading wat's in her mind, what actual shakti is...m loving ur concept yar...nd m luking 4ward to it...

Wow. Thank you so much Akanksha for reading and commenting on both parts. You know I was afraid how die-heart ArSha fans would react to my fic. And I'm so happy to know you have enjoyed it and are accepting them in this form. Thank you soo much! I hope you enjoy the next part too. 😊

dedication: This one is for Anks, without whose words, this fic wouldn't exist.

He starts watching the show again after she leaves.

It isn't a conscious decision on his part. He doesn't even realise he is doing it until he finds himself coming back home later from his shoots than usual and Charlie points it out after it happens one time too many. She isn't one to keep tabs on how long he spends on the sets. Hell, she understands the industry better than he does at times. So when she points it out, he just shrugs his shoulders and laughs it off. And she lets him. When it comes to her, he knows he lucked out.

--

However, it only ever really hits him during the D3 success celebration party. Everyone is friendlier, merrier, happier. He thinks it's because they are also a little tipsier and grins. He's standing there talking to Archie and Alisha when he looks up and sees Vishal Sir and Sid walking towards them and he tenses up automatically. They never talk to them until it's an announcement, something big - choosing instead to work closely with the creatives. He doesn't think he will ever forget the look of nervousness and helplessness on their faces as they had stood there talking to them about her exit.

By the time they reach them, stopping now and then to pat people on the back, high-five and half hug - he's already downed his glass of beer and his throat is parched dry. He thinks he tastes the bitter tinge of whiskey on his tongue and knows its only wishful thinking. Archie and Alisha, smart and quick-witted that they are (swift-footed too, he's always given credit where it's deserved) have conveniently scurried off. He feels a panic attack coming on. He doesn't think he's ready for any more news. He doesn't like news. He likes the mundane, the ordinary, the normal - hell, he cherishes it. He's going cold and he finds his feet have frozen. But his hand, his hand suddenly feels comfortably warm where she holds it tightly in hers.

--

He doesn't think he can ever find the right words to tell her how grateful he is for her.

Words were never his strongest forte anyway, even though he uses them so casually and confidently. When he was young, they had taught him practice makes perfect. He's been practicing since. He knows that words are like a bag of tricks. If you learn them well enough, they work like magic. He begins by understanding them. To understand is to manipulate, after all.

He knows that words can go from frivolous to fatal in the blink of an eye, with a slight twist of tongue. He learns to sharpen them into flints, small enough to appear harmless but jagged enough to draw blood. He's come to realise that sometimes one rightly placed word can destroy lives and sometimes no matter how many you use, you couldn't win a heart (or save one from breaking).

Most of these lessons, he's learnt from experience.

When he had just been thrust into the public eye, he used to spend hours composing answers in his mind. He used to worry about accuracy and modulation - strength and sharpness. He used to treat words like ammunition, carefully testing out their power in privacy, rolling them around in his mouth, getting familiar with them before he aimed them just right. His battle with words almost directly resonates with his tryst with fame. He's gone from confused to cautious to carefree and is still trying to find his way.

He had been scared of words. Cautious and careful - afraid of their power. Until he realised that words like the people who utter them transformed and transfigured under the limelight. Becoming something new and larger than life. Like a spark in the dark, everything changed with that single moment of realisation and he became the media's sweetheart almost overnight.

They say he's lively, teasing and playful - so honest and free with his words. He thinks it's funny. Especially since he's been struggling to express himself for years. He may have learnt to spin the words people want to hear; but he still tries to find the right ones he wishes to speak. But no one can ever tell the difference.

When surrounded by friends and family, he talks a lot, knows he won't be mistaken and if he's lucky maybe (finally) understood; it is his home ground after all. He casually throws as many words out as he can like knives in the dark so at least some of them would hit the mark. He believes now that if he uses them enough, he would somehow (someday) be able to figure out the right ones to express how he feels, what he really thinks. But until then, he's accepted he'll never be able to say all that he wants, the way he does with dance. But that's a language for a select few and he's learnt to live with the weight of solitude.

But she tries (to understand, to listen, to decipher); and he appreciates that.

--

They have been together almost two and a half years now. Long enough to know the songs she hums when she forgets she's doing it (R D Burman and Dev Anand, though she claims to prefer Kishore), how she likes her tea (extra-sweet when she's nervous, green when exhausted, karak when in company), and the look on her face just from the tone of her voice over the phone. It's long enough to know all the small eccentricities that make her, her. Yet be pleasantly surprised when he discovers something new - like the time he caught her speaking to someone in Assamese and found out she went backpacking in Assam for three weeks.

He particularly loves those moments, enjoys finding pieces to the puzzle that he didn't know were missing. That define her. He finds comfort in the small details that he has collected and memorised over the years out of habit. He's slowly piecing them together, learning the tapestry of her being. It's a quest he doesn't remember undertaking. The more he discovers, the closer he hopes he get to finally understanding why she chose him.

--

He vividly remembers the first time he met Charlie; which is more than he can say about half the people he knows.

It was at Dharmesh's house, a few weeks after D3. He was still coming to terms with the hectic schedules and the sudden fan following. He had taken to keeping his head down, and sticking to the set-home-set routine. Try to stay afloat and wait for the sudden tide to even out before he could get out of the shell, go back to facing the world. It was a small get-together of new friends and old foes, and he had tried every trick in the book to weasel out of it. Until he realised it took more effort not to go and found himself waiting in the corridor for the door to open.

It was in the midst of loud laughter, sly snarks and coy flirtation that he first met her with moon in her eyes and a smile she could barely keep off her face. He knew that look and he felt himself going cold almost immediately. She didn't want to meet him, she'd wanted to talk to Rey or the media-packaged Amar. He didn't know which was worst or easier to be. Didn't know if he had it in him to be anyone else at the moment. He had finally taken the first step back to being Kunwar and he wasn't sure if he could head back just yet.

He couldn't do this. He felt like he was drowning inside. He needed to get out. Meet people he knew from before. He'd come here seeking the quiet comfort of inside jokes and embarrassing stories. He couldn't learn more new names, new faces. This was more than he had signed up for.

He doesn't remember how long he stood there all quiet and tense (she claims it was seven minutes) while she continued to talk. She was making small talk, gushing about how path-breaking his show was and how apt he was for the role, about her love for dancing. Then she suddenly went silent, came close to him, looked him in the eye and started to laugh. He turned to Dharmesh just in time to catch him wink and shake his head at him before joining her. Her laughter reminded him of wind-chimes - loud, excited and happy. And he doesn't remember a more piercing sound.

When they finally stopped, she placed a soft hand on his arm, told him he was still new to acting and that she was just messing around with him before walking away with a playful shrug. Sometimes he forgot how telling his eyes can be.

From the corner of his eye, he thought he caught her looking at him. Notices her sip her drink silently while Punit gestured wildly at her, too caught up in the story he was recounting to notice how rigid she'd gone suddenly.

--

They're greeting them now and he puts on a nervous smile on his face when he feels her tug his hand. He doesn't remember their exact words. So preoccupied he is with nodding and saying the right ones, in the right tone, in the right way. So bewildered by the exchange and fearing the worst that he keeps going through the pleasantries to get to the heart of the matter. It is only when they're walking away from them that he realises what just happened. They'd just complimented him on a brilliant job (same words, repeated words, just words) and pointed out how impressed they were with his extra involvement on the show and with his inputs.

Charlie keeps gushing about it for days after. He, on the other hand, is still in shock and spends the next two weeks paying close attention to the time he spends on the set.

--

He finds it funny of course, but he suddenly has time to watch the raw unedited footage and even enjoys watching the telecasted re-runs. If Charlie thinks it's odd, she doesn't say anything.

He knows she's liked the show even before she met him. Knows she wasn't completely lying when she'd said she enjoyed watching the show; or that the first time she'd really ever noticed him had been in the persona of Reyaansh Singhania. Some days when he comes home from a shoot, too tired to even stay up for dinner, much less a movie, she teases him about how she wishes she was dating Rey instead. He laughs along even though he knows it isn't entirely a joke.

He has never asked her about her favourite scenes or memorable moments from the show and she's never told him. He's afraid to know which they might be, afraid she might want to know the stories behind the scenes. Memories he doesn't want to recall, ones he still wishes he could just forget.

When he settles on the couch besides her, she is just happy to hold his hand and rest her head on his shoulder as they watch him romance another woman on screen. Secure and safe in the knowledge that she has the real thing while everything on the screen is just an act.

That's why he watches the show now, because he's finally acting again.

--

a/n: And with that we have a new character in the picture. Charlie is an important part of Amar's life and it was only logical to introduce her here too. I hope you enjoyed reading this part. Thank you so much for the overwhelming response to the previous two chapters. And as always, thanks for reading and do let me know what you think of this part.