SwaRon OS : I am still me? |*Challenged by Marium*|

Swayam watched his lifeless wife from a safe distance. If at all she would just allow him to hug her and let him heal the wounds, let him hold her and say she is and was always the same Sharon right now and back then, she would share her pain with him rather than hurting herself every second then it wouldn't have been the way it was. He would just hug her and say the sweet nothings diverting her thoughts completely, he would just hold her and say how much she meant to him , how much he loved her n always will. He would share her pain erasing it from her life, he wanted to just yell aloud and say, 'You are the same Sharon, now, before and always. My love for you would never change' but still he kept mum because he knew those words will only be audible to her ears but will not be welcomed by the heart.

'Its...its all my fault Sharon. I couldn't protect you, its my fault', he whispered. 'And I will make the things alright, I will bring back your deprived heart, I will bring back my Sharon who is lost within you', he continued.

'No matter how much you push me away, I will just smile and take two steps towards you, towards us, my love.'

Sharon trembled with fear, her eyes began to moist. Swayam who noticed this change in her behaviour walked towards her. It was a movie where a man was forcing himself upon a girl. Swayam grabbed the remote on the table and switched it off. It was disgusting on the media side to encourage cruel acts in movies and televisions.

'Sharon, are you alright?', he questioned pacing forward and she objected him raising her palm. She got off the couch and walked towards the bed. 'It was just a movie Sharon, it isn't real!', he yelled but he didn't fail to notice that she rubbed the lone tear which escaped from her eye.

Sharon lied down on the bed and grabbed a blanket on her. She was emotionally drained out and it didn't take much time for her to lull down for sleep. Swayam lied down on his arm glancing at her. He moved closer to her after she slept, he watched at her amused about how her mood was expressed so clearly on her face. As like the darkness in her life, her face was void of emotions except the hint of sadness. Reaching his hand towards her, he stroked her hair smoothly. She stirred in sleep making him tensed on if she would wake up but she didn't. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Startling him, she moved closer to him her palms holding her shirt and he hugged her slightly making sure he wouldn't wake her up. The frown on her face disappeared gradually and she seemed to be in peace. He smiled at the way she was sleeping, like the way she always did. 'This is my first step towards You', he whispered. Soon he dropped into a deep slumber with a satisfication.

Sharon woke up in the morning after a solace sleep. She was feeling good until she opened her eyes and saw him. She tried to move away but was still the same with his arms around her. 'Leave me', she yelled pushing him with all her might and chanted the same until he opened his eyes. He moved back, taking off the grip on her. 'I am sorry...', he said but she already walked out by then.

It was a wrong step! He regretted that night after she kept herself more away from him.

'I have to divert her mind, I have to keep her occupied of something or the other so she wouldn't flag back into the past', Swayam thought.

'Sharon, we have to go for dinner to Mehra family tommorow.They invited us...', Swayam said as they sat for the lunch.

'Sharon..', he voiced after getting no response. 'Imn't interested in anything. If you want, you can go alone ..', she said and left off the table leaving the dinner untouched. He pushed the plate infront of him away and stormed out for a walk. He needed a time for thinking properly.

The passing days, he just let the things the way it was. In the evening, when he came back from the office he saw Sharon sitting on the couch. From the look in her eyes, he could say she was waiting for him but being unsure of his thoughts Swayam straited past her.

'Swayam, I want to talk to you.'

Hearing her voice, he stopped. He was pleasantly surprised when she spoke out on her own.

'Tell me..', he beamed happily waiting to hear something good. 'Sit...', she said directing him on the opposite side. 'Swayam, stop hurting yourself because of me', she said concernedly. Swayam who had positive vibes until now realised that it was heading in the wrong direction. She lowered her eyes for a second. 'I have applied for a divorce', she stated.'WHAT?', Swayam muttered in disbelief. 'How can you do this Sharon? Am I that bad that you didn't say a word before-hand about this? Are you even realising what the mess you are doing?', Swayam spoke out in a breathe of a minute.

Everything was in an incredulous speed for him to register and analyse.

'What is my fault Sharon?', he questioned genuinely. 'Did I do anything wrong? I will mend the things and do as you say...'

'It isn't your fault Swayam. You are too good and you deserve a better person than me...'

He paced towards her and held her arms.

'Told who? I don't need any person but you..', he voiced though she fought back against his grip.

'I am not the same Swayam. Why can't you understand? Im pregnant...', she yelled with all her strength.

'pregnant with the child of other man', her voice shivered and was breaking down. 

Tears stormed down her face.

'I can still feel those creepy hands prawling over me'

'I feel filthy', she wiped her tears with her palm.

'I can't just erase it , Swayam. I feel like I am haunted. I am still conscious and aware of being touched and treated brutually. I was made to sleep with someone else.'

She broke out through tears. She cupped his face and said, 'You really don't deserve a girl who was touched and was enjoyed by other. You don't..'

'I am a strong person Swayam. I am not a person to sulk with the past . The only thing I am concerned is you Swayam. I can't see you hurting yourself because of me. I can't let you get physical with me because I am dirty... I don't deserve you...you deserve someone who is completely yours.'

He held her face in his hands. 'Whatever happened wasn't your mistake Sharon, I love you and I will always do. You are always the same Sharon. ', Swayam said.

'Maybe I can't erase it but I will make sure you won't remembe it again...', he said. 'And from now...', he ended.

He fused his lips taking her lips into his. He kissed her passionately trying to express the unspoken words. 'I will replace the brutuality with love', he said between the kiss. Breaking the kiss, he kissed her face removing the hint of sadness from her face. He lifted her in his arms glancing at her eyes. He placed her down on the bed and took the lead over her body. 'All you have to do is, look into my eyes', he spoke huskily. He kissed her lips again. His hands worshipped her skin with care and love as he whispered sweet nothings and they made love for the whole night. The last thing that Sharon could remember the night was his heartbeat, fast and loud.

I just realised I wrote dis after freaking 4 months!😲

Marium, cholly.

Hope u will like it.