Arshi SS: Outside the Lines, Chp 12, Pg 140, link T2 pg 149

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Happytwinkle

@Happytwinkle

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#721

amazing update

loved it

thanks for the pm

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Anamika100

@Anamika100

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#722

I liked how honorably Arnav broke up with Lavanya, given that he did not see the relationship going anywhere. Arnav and Khushi are comfortable enough to joke around and Arnav is doing well in huge game.

Poor Khushi has some problems. One being the mysterious man warning her off Arnav and getting too close to him and the ore is her boss who appears a little skewed on a moral compass and inclined towards tabloid journalism. I like that Khushi is so honorable.

See below my comments to survey:

1. What do you guys think of the length of the chapters? Are they too short or are they being dragged?

I love long chapters so this is fine...even longer would be good.

2. Would you guys like more or less descriptions of the cricket games? I know that many of you have expressed that you don't have an interest in cricket while others are true fans. I'm trying to balance out the cricket content, but please let me know what you guys prefer.

Less cricket descriptions would be good. It is fine to the degree that what the outcome or performance means for locker room and character moods etc but I have no interest in game.

3. What do you think of the pace of the story too far?

A little slow.

4. Do you have any suggestions that will help me improve as a writer?

while a lot is being alluded to Arnav in terms of his past, I still find the characters depth a little shallow. I would love for the characters to feel a little more or for their feelings to be revealed. I feel like you are skimming the surface only.

I would really appreciate your feedback! Please feel to respond on this thread, or PM/scrap me.

Also, I have a hard time responding to reader's comments for this story as I don't want to give away the story - is that a problem to readers??

Nope...mystery is good!!!

Edited by Anamika100 - 11 years ago

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savvz

@savvz

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#723

great update..

by the way is that shyam...?? ewww.. he makes an entry ... a slimy one... ;-)

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Anjali

@AnjuRish

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#724

so this is the entry of the snakewa is it???

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1chilly

@1chilly

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

#725

Shyam the snake seems to have made an entry.

Hope he is dealt with in a fitting manner soon!

Arna v has started to at least talk to Khushi.

Waiting now to see what happens next.

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sakhter90

@sakhter90

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#726

Lovely update! Nice to see this positive side to Arnav. All the winnings and his time with a certain young lady is having a good affect on him. He's first anger management meeting, and he comes out wondering why he is in there in the first place! That was too funny.

Oh khushi! What has she got herself into?!!!

Do continue soon!

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Nakshatra

@amfashionista

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#727

lovely update.

they are getting along with ease.

i enjoyed reading it

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sunitikapoor

@sunitikapoor

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#728

So Arnav is out of the relationship with Lavanya...and he is admitted that his mind and thoughts have been distracted not by Lavanya but by Khushi...loved their conversation...is the stranger is Shyam...loved the update.
Regarding the note...I have no complaints and I am loving it... 😛