New Virman FF- Tanhaayi- Ch. 7 pg 19- UPDATED!!!! - Page 13

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MAANVI POV

As I walked through campus, I found my thoughts constantly turning to Virat. I wondered what he was doing, where he was- and then figured the answer was the law school. He said he spent all day, every day holed up in the law library.

I knew how to find him, but the question was, should i find him? Even though I resolved to let him in, I still didn't know if i was ready to actually let him in. I don't even really know how to let my guard down anymore. For most of my life, I have had people around me. I've never actually been alone, but i've always felt like i have been. But it's not about how many people I have had around me- i've literally felt completely isolated around dozens of people. But with Virat, it was different. Even if it was just me and him, and even if we have only had a few conversations, I felt like I was surrounded by his comfort and care. Like though i barely knew him, I could lean on him if I really needed to. But I really didn't know what to do to let him in. I had become so accustomed to just crying it out on my own until i had no more tears to shed. Somehow, I would manage to fall asleep, and when I woke up, i would feel so drained that I would have to just move past it. I mean I know I always have my parents and Khushi with me. But Khushi had known my family my whole life, and she was just as protective and defensive about them as I am. So when I told her my feelings, she would try to mitigate them, make me laugh, assure me that I had everyone's unrelenting love and support. Though she wasn't much of a fan of my brother, she always tried her best to assure me he loved me. And with my parents, I never wanted to add to their worries by piling on my own. So I didn't. Other friends, while I loved them, I just never let them in enough to know what was bothering me. I always had trouble being really raw and honest with people. And the one boy I actually did trust, broke it so bad that even if I wanted to trust another, my heart wouldn't let me.

But with Virat, I heard myself confessing things without even realizing it. Like my love for writing. I never told anyone about that... well except Khushi, and she really never knew what I was writing. but with Virat, i found myself telling him exactly how free i felt when i wrote. how powerful it was to impact someone who i had never met with my words. And i loved that feeling. Out of nowhere while he was talking about his passion for airplanes and flying, I somehow blurted out how much writing meant to me- that it made me feel like i had a purpose in life. And he sat there, completely enthralled by what I was saying. And when i caught myself, and abruptly stopped mid-sentence, he prompted me to go on talking about it. He said I had a sparkle in my eyes when I spoke of my passions, and I should never give up on something that affects me that much.

It was so easy talking to him. He not just listened, but he actually heard me. and that was rare in my life.

When I snapped out of my thoughts, I actually found myself outside of the law school. Inwardly embarrassed, I turned around to walk back to my end of campus. I got as far as 50 feet before I made out a familiar face walking towards me, smiling from ear to ear.

"Virat!" I said all too excitedly. Awkwardly, I cleared my throat and found myself asking him how he was doing.

"Maanvi? What are you doing on this end of campus?" he asked, smirking, his eyebrow quirked.

"Umm.. well, I was actually looking for you," I blurted before I could stop myself.

"Me?" his smile widened. "Why?"

"Umm, we'll..." i mumbled.

"Wanna know something funny?"

"Hmm?" I managed.

"I've been looking for you too."

"You have?"

He nodded. " Now that I've found you, I wanted to know if I could have your number. that way, we don't have to try to search each other out through this massive campus."

"Um, yeah, sure."

He shoved his hands awkwardly into his pockets,a nd looked down. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to..."

"No, no," I stuttered. "Here." I said handing him a scrap of paper with my number scribbled on top.

He sighed a sigh of what seemed like relief. "Good, and I will text you mine."

Just then, the bell tower chimed, and we both realized we were going to be late to our respective classes if we didn't part ways. Quickly, we said our goodbyes, and walked in opposite directions- him towards the law school, me towards the other end of campus.

A few minutes later, I received a text from an unknown number and figured it was Virat.

Good running into you- V

Likewise- M

What are you doing for lunch today? -V

Not much. Not much of an appetite today. -M

Oh- V

I took a deep breath. This seemed like a good time as any to take a leap of faith.

Meaning I'm free- What do you have planned? -M

Nothing, but I was wondering if I could see you if you were free. -V

Sounds like a plan. Meet at the bell tower? - M

Deal. See you soon- V

I found myself smiling in spite of myself. It's completely unlike me to feel so connected with a person i barely know. For some reason though, it feels like we have been friends for years. If nothing at all, it would be a good conversation and maybe a break from all of my worries for a bit. There's a side to him that I don't think he shows anyone. A side that has a long and complex background. His eyes say it all- he's alone in spite of everything he has. He seems to be searching for someone or something- just the same as me- for a purpose, for something to keep him grounded, make him whole. And that is what makes me feel like me around him. I can feel his loneliness, and he can feel mine.

VIRAT POV

I went over our conversation in my mind over and over again. Where was it that she said she spent most of her time? I remember her saying something about just walking through campus when she needed to clear her head. But campus is so huge, how would I find her? She said her favorite place was the quad, but I already spent 20 minutes looking around there with no luck. Aman's call reminded me that I had class soon, and he told me to head back, promising to help me find her later in the day.

Frustrated, I made my way back to the law school, already dreading being in the place where time stands still- and not in a good way. I couldn't believe that I had to go a few more hours without seeing her, if not more. Damn, I cursed myself. I should have taken her number when I had the chance. How was I going to find her now?!

As I was storming off towards the law school, a lavender scent caught me. I looked up. I couldn't forget that spellbinding scent even if I tried. When my eyes met hers, I felt relief seep back into me. All my frustration forgotten. I walked towards her, almost too excitedly. I tried to remind myself to calm down so I don't freak her out. But it was hard to keep my composure when I heard her call out my name. Even still, I tried as hard as I could to contain myself, but I couldn't control my smile when she told me she was looking for me too. Hoping I wasn't being too forward, I asked for her number. She seemed a little taken aback by it, but within a few seconds handed me a scrap of paper with her number on it.

And it took me less than 3 minutes for me to break my resolve of waiting a bit before texting her. But she was looking for me- that had to be a signal that she liked me too right? So without thinking, I asked her what she was doing for lunch. I was a little disppointed when she said she had no appetite but was glad she agreed to meet with me. I just had to remember not to lose my composure around her- she doesn't seem to be one who lets her guard down easily.

I think the thing that draws me to her, is that I see my loneliness mirrored in her eyes. The same guarded personality. Emotional, yet strong. There's something quiet in her demeanor. As if she has a lot to say but is stopping herself for whatever reason. Maybe she has trouble letting people in, the same way that I do. Maybe that's why we seem to be pulled to each other in spite of ourselves.