Chapter 4 -
You know, I've been getting this...feeling, as I've read this story which has kind of evolved into a suspicion now - Have you been spying on me?? Because gah - all these situations, all these people, I relate to them so well and every other second I go - 'yeah that happened to me too!' That is how magnificently real this story is and that right there is its charm.
And of course, the psychology. It's flawless. I know someone, am very close to someone, who's exactly like Payal - sharp-tongued, blunt, someone who does not watch their mouth around people they are close to. And it completely gives the little confrontation from the previous chapter a whole new dimension - Payal took the liberty to lash at Arnav like that because she considers him one of her own. It's her own way of familiarity and that just adds another nuance to the web of relationships spun throughout this story, and so beautifully.
And I really mean that. I like how you're taking the time to outline each relationship, whether through dialogues or through actions or thoughts. I forgot to mention in the previous chapter - I love how Arnav is so casual and familiar with the Guptas, to the point that it seemed more that he belonged to their family than his own. He walks into the kitchen, gets his own water, little actions in themselves but telling enough. The fact that he's a part of them is so obvious in how uncomfortable Payal feels trying to be formal with him.
The scene between Garima and Payal is another of my official favourites. A mother through and through, fretting herself to the end of her tether over Khushi and what she's feeling, how she's coping and spinning circles in worry round those thoughts. And yet at the same time, I love how she rebuked Payal when Payal called Arnav obnoxious - I see her so clearly, a loving, affectionate mother, who still knows how and when to pull the reins to keep her kids from straying. A lot like my own mother, and that just makes me love her more. Sigh.
And the highlight of this chapter, for me - Payal and Arnav. I can so visualise and imagine someone like Payal struggling to apologise - it has to be hard for someone so used to being right. But the fact that she's making a 'spectacle' of herself like this, pushing on and making clear that she really doesn't have a low opinion of him, is a sure sign that she really means it and didn't want to demean Arnav, and I respect her for that. Honestly I'm still in awe how perfectly you've crafted her - sarcastic and cynical and brutally realistic but with a heart in the right place. Her stammering over the apology was adorable as it was funny, and very telling about her character. *thumbs up*
And Arnav's response - lol. I could expect nothing less from this guy. But he completely put her at ease at the same time, and that, methinks, was his intention from the very beginning.
Wonderful chapter again, Twiggy! I'm going to try catching up again soon! I really wanna know what's inside that paper bag :D
Edited by -doe-eyes- - 12 years ago
CID
193