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Now...coming to the update...I'm quite nervous about posting this...but anyway here it is..!
Part 25
"Let's go."
They stepped out of the car, leaving a wake of coldness that was soon met as the wind rustled through their clothes, marking its way down their backs to leave shards of iciness as they shivered silently.
Slowly, with deliberation he took a hold of her hand, slipping his fingers in between hers, feel her accelerating pulse against his own.
The sky rumbled above them, the grey clouds slowly taking over the brightness of the sky as they walked towards the entrance of the hospital.
People blurred around them, the chattering of women perched on the chairs plastered to the side, insignificant as they passed them, and the rings of phones becoming part of the thudding of their hearts as they approached the desk.
"Doctor Khan?" Arnav said, watching as the petit, scrawny man behind the desk raised his eyebrows and searched through the ancient computer, nodding and sending his heart into overdrive.
"Shes available now."
He could hear her short intake of breath by his side as she gripped onto his hand, feel her fingers shake, along with his own, fear coursing through them as their eyes connected.
He wasnt ready for this-
Not at all-
He could lose her-
And it was all to be determined in a few minutes-
In a few seconds-
He squeezed her hand, feel his life cling onto him, and with that he took a deep breath closing his eyes momentarily.
"Together," he whispered, feeling his heart throb as she looked at him through wide eyes, feeling the echoes of her quivering.
They took the known path to the Doctors room, feel the walls enclose in as it narrowed the corridor, elongating it as they treaded through it.
She watched him through her lashes, see how he suddenly swallowed as he looked ahead, causing her snap her head to the side as she took in the dark door that led them to Doctor Khan.
She couldnt do this.
Coming to a sudden halt, her hand, clasped to his, rose as he continued to walk ahead, stopping as he felt her hold him back, turning around to see her eyes glistening with tears.
She couldnt do this.
Khushi...
She shook her head at him, eyes darting to the door that stood no less than a metre away from them.
"I-I can't," she rasped, shaking her head at him, clasping her lips together as she watched him come closer to her, not letting go of her hand.
"I'm here, Khushi, I wont let anything happen."
Biting her lip, she looked down, trying to stop the tears from brimming over, their enclosed hands meeting her gaze as she felt him squeeze hers causing her to glance up.
With his free hand he brushed the strands of her hair that obscured her eyes; see how she raised them to look into his. "I am going to be right here, Khushi, every step."
He waited for her, watch as she explored his depths, searching if he truly meant he had said.
"Ready?"
She could feel the drumming of her heart against her chest, but something flickered in his eyes, softening them, causing the drumming to slow down.
Nodding quickly, she allowed him to lead them to the door, hearing his thumping knocks on the wooden surface.
This was it.
The door swung open and there stood Doctor Khan, wearing her usual white long coat, welcoming them with a small smile.
"Hello," she said, indicating for them to enter, walking them further into the room as she took her place behind her desk, gesturing for them to sit, "how are you, Mrs Raizaida?"
"F-fine," she managed, feel Arnav rest their hands on his knee under the table.
The Doctor tilted her head forward, her long chin waving in the air briefly, her elbows resting on the desk, "I know, you must be nervous," she said, her eyes darting from Khushi to Arnav and then back again, "as you know... we have the results from the report."
The hazelness of Khushis eyes trembled and she could feel her chest shake, feel the ripple of fear escalate at the Doctors words, Arnavs panic surfacing as he tightened his hand around hers.
The Doctor sighed slightly as she pulled a stack of paper in front of her, the crispness grating against the desk, eyes focussing on them and then rising to rest on Khushi.
"You see, Mrs Raizaida," her eyebrows pulling together as she spoke, "the cancer has started in your ribs, but," she licked her top lip, "but has spread to your lungs."
Khushi stared back at the woman across her, watch as the Doctor struggled for words.
"It should have been quite obvious, from your reports when you were in Delhi. We are aware that, Mrs. Raizaida, you had actually coughed out blood, am I correct?"
"Yes," Khushi whispered, glancing at Arnav as he met her gaze.
It felt like a lifetime ago since it had all started.
She gulped as memories rushed towards her, engulfing her.
She could taste the cold, metalness of her blood, remembering how her eyes had darted around the room looking for him. Looking down at her clothes she remembered she had been changed into a pale blue hospital gown and how tears had clouded her vision, the confusion turning into panic.
"You see... It..." the Doctor struggled, grabbing their attention again, "it's hard to extract your tumour cells, as in to completely get rid of them. We can go on the route of chemotherapy, but, she sighed, shaking her head."
"B-but what?" Arnav responded, his heart faltering at the doctors next words.
"It would only shrink the tumour cells, the chemotherapy would only delay..."
A silence fell over the room, transparent toxins soaring through the air, filling their chests as they inhaled, threatening to shatter hope and leave the sharp shards of despair.
"What else can be done then?" Arnav asked, his throat tight and back rigid with tension as he tried to keep his voice controlled.
The Doctor let out another sigh, leaning forward as she pulled the papers closer to her and then folded her hands, a rare sympathetic expression lingering on her face.
"We could go along the route of surgery wh-which has many complications."
"What do you mean, Doctor?"
Placing down her spectacles, she ran a hand down her face, "you see, the reason for surgery, t-the sole purpose is to extract the tumour cells, wherever they are, but, she shook her head. But the tumour cells are in your lungs," she said, as she looked straight at Khushi, "and this-this is a grave problem."
Khushi retrieved her hand from Arnavs grasp and set it slowly on her side. She closed her eyes thinking of the battle her body was in, and the fact that she was losing now.
Ultimately to the cancer
"We are dealing with the organ that allows you to breathe, that is the reason for your living, if any minor mistake could take place, then the consequences can be well... great."
Khushis eyes bolted open and she saw Dr. Khan look at her directly, her dark eyes connecting with Khushis.
"If anything went wrong, just the slightest thing, then," she shook her head, as if her condolences were already on her lips, "there is very little chance she would make it."
There.
There it was.
The same feeling of helplessness-
Punctuating itself with every word of the Doctor-
Jabbing at him like a blunt knife-
All hell-
Broken loose.
"W-what now?" Khushi said through numb lips.
"You need to think it through if you would want to go through with the surgery, or if you would rather have chemotherapy."
"What would you suggest, Doctor?" Khushi asked in a whisper, her hands reaching up on the edge of the desk, as her fingers pressed down on the wood.
"Unfortunately, I cannot tell you," she sighed. "Because its not me who is going through it."
"But I know this," she said in a soft voice.
"You see now we know that the cancer has actually spread to the vital organ of the lungs, it would mean that well.. treatment must be done quite soon, as if the functions of the lungs would fail then.." she trailed off, allowing Arnav and Khushi to mentally complete the sentence.
"There is a lot for you to consider," Dr Khan nodded after a minute, as if talking to herself, she grabbed the handle of her chair and pulled herself up. "What I would like for you both to do is read through this documentation, my colleagues and I have recently created." She bent down, pulling open a drawer and retrieved a bright green folder with few paper sandwiched in. Standing up, she swung the folder on the desk, as it dramatically smacked on the table. "Youll find it has the outlines of the surgery that would take place should you decide to carry through with and of course the routes to the chemotherapy."
Her palms pressed on the desk as she speculated Khushi, as if trying to judge her decision right there and then. Khushi gulped and looked down, breathing heavily, and blinked soaking in the information that had been presented in front of her. Stretching her hand out, she unwillingly grabbed the folder, pulling it to her lap. Her eyes stung as she looked at her name written in black scrawny writing was messily placed in the top left hand side of it.
KHUSHI SINGH RAIZADA
She heard Arnav clear his throat next to her.
"So the d-decision..?"
"Should not be rushed at all." Doctor Khan said immediately. "But should be taken as soon as possible. Whichever the decision treatment must start, the sooner the better."
Standing up, Khushi felt the earth shaking beneath her, his fingers slipping between hers as their palms met.
She felt him lead her to the door and then to the never-ending corridor, whilst her mind echoed what the doctor had said.
There is very little chance that she will make it
The chemotheraphy will only delay...
She was going to die slowly or within the next few days, by chemotherapy or surgery
Was she dying?
A cry built up in her chest at the words, her hands pressing against her lips to stop it from escaping, tears blurring her vision as she kept her eyes transfixed to the ground.
Was she dying?
The weep escaped her, unleashing the fright as she felt it shake every fragment in her body, feeling him pull her towards him, his hands raked in her hair as she felt his own hot tears staining her neck.
"K-k-khushi," she heard him say through trembling lips as she clenched his shirt, another weep escaping as sorrow encircled them.
Her mother was going to sob her name, just like she had imagined-
"Kusi! Kusi!"
Everything was to be lost-
Everything was lost.
"K-khushi, no, stop," she could hear his strained voice as he held in a deep breath, feeling the exhale shaking his chest, her tears staining his shirt, burning holes in his heart, "please, dont."
She could feel his hand underneath her chin, raising it as crystals of sorrow rolled down her cheeks, their gazes intertwining.
Nothing is going to happen to you, do you understand? he said, his teeth clenched as a tear escaped from the corner of his eye, youre going to be fine.
Could he feel the hollow feeling too?
That cold feeling in the chest?
He quickly drove away the salts of her sorrow, brushing them away, only for more to brim over the rim of her eyes.
Did she not understand he couldnt see her like this?
She breathed in quickly, her hands rested against his chest, as if trying to steady herself. "But what if.." her voice shaking, "what if everything goes wrong? What if I end up dying?" she sobbed at the end and felt his arms go around her, tightening.
"No, Khushi, it wont. I'm not going to allow it." He whispered in his ear, looking up trying to stop the tears leaking down to his cheeks.
He sighed as he felt Khushi tuck herself further into his chest causing him to reduce any distance tucking her head under his chin.
He could smell her jasmine scent, and he breathed in, trying to surround himself with her scent. Reaching down, he kissed the top of her head.
Khushi suddenly stiffened, and pushed her hands back, rifting away from him
"w-we should tell everyone at home," Khushi stuttered, backing away from, only for him to quickly enclose her hand in his, panicking from the sudden distance.
Looking up with questioning eyes, he shook her head at her, intertwining their fingers.
"Together," he whispered.
And I leave you there!
Please share your thoughts/reactions/ (hopefully not) disappointments
-Oh! And I don't know what had happened to the speach marks😕 for some reason they had been removed😕 I have now restored them, sorry for any confusion!
Edited by jaffacakes - 12 years ago
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
Anupamaa
CID
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
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