Chapter 78
Clearly surprised, Angad repeated 'your wife?' Arnav's eyes cooled and hardened as his fingers slide further along Khushi's waist, pulling her closer as he nodded. Khushi spoke, 'I know Angad,' she said as she looked up as her husband, 'we were engaged,' she said softly.
The private investigator's report flashed before Arnav's eyes. Subject was engaged for marriage at 21 years of age. Arnav felt the axis of his world shift. He had known that she had been engaged but never in his strangest dreams had he expected to meet the other man and certainly not in a situation like this.
Khushi felt Arnav stiffen as his fingers tightened around her waist and his eyes flashed dangerously. He stilled and for a tense moment Khushi wasn't sure what he would do next. She knew what he was capable of. She stiffened, forced herself to remain still.
Kayoze Irani re-appeared at that moment, 'It appears my son I have a difference in opinion as to who we would like to sell to. I would ask that you give us twenty-four hours and we will contact you when a decision has been made,' he requested as he looked at Arnav, Khushi and Angad who all nodded.
'Well, it was nice to meet you Mr Grover,' said Arnav as he pitched his voice at a carefully casual note not wanting Khushi to guess any of his thoughts. One of which was pure, unadulterated gut wrenching jealously. He turned and stepped in front of her, his features radiating a deadly calm. Something hard and dangerous glinted in his brown eyes but when he spoke his voice was steady as he looked down at Khushi. 'Would you like a ride home Khushi?' Khushi knew instantly from his tone that it wasn't a question and she nodded. Arnav turned and motioned to his team whom he spoke to quietly and then proceeded to calmly walk out of the door with Khushi beside him.
Once ensconced in Arnav's SUV, Khushi stole a glance at the man sitting beside her, and then shivered. If murder had a look to it then he was wearing it. 'Arnav?' she said softly. He didn't answer. Lips clamped together, he sent the car shooting out into the main stream of traffic. Several car horns blared in protest at his pushy arrogance. He ignored them blatantly. Right now he didn't give a rat's arse about road etiquette!
Khushi gasped as she watched him weave in and out of traffic. She touched his arm, 'Arnav, I know you're angry but I had no idea that he... Angad was the other party,' she said shakily. They had stopped at a set of traffic lights. Khushi watched as Arnav slowly he turned to face her. His face was brutally calm, his dark eyes filled with an emotion she had never seen. Instead of answering her he took her face in his hands. Opening her mouth to protest, Khushi saw what was coming even before his mouth landed like a burning brand on hers. He kissed her with a hunger and a desperate urgency, his mouth brutally hard and demanding on hers. And it wasn't a quick demonstration of male desire either, it was hot and it was hard and designed to remind her that she belonged to no one but him.
Khushi was stunned. And then she distractedly thanked Devi Maiya for tinted windows as Arnav pulled back.
Arnav sighed as he dragged one had through his hair. This was uncharted territory for him. Regardless of his frame of mind, he knew that he had been rough with Khushi. He took a deep breath as he tried to regain control of his scattered emotions. Turning back to the steering wheel he tried to concentrate on driving. He didn't understand the intensity of the emotion running through him. Khushi was his wife now so what difference did it make who she was engaged to and when he tried rationalising with himself. Trying to distract his thoughts, he pulled at the tie around his neck and then undid the top two buttons of his shirt. It didn't work as the violent torrent of emotions raced through him and ripped his insides to shreds as he thought about Grover. Right now he wanted to hit something.
Khushi quietly watched Arnav driving they headed back toward the house; his features gave nothing away of his internal thoughts or feelings. They arrived at Shanti-Vaan a short while later. It was quiet. Clearly Hari and Om Prakash had decided to leave early Khushi thought thankfully as they walked into the lounge. She watched as Arnav took off his jacket and dumped it on the edge of the couch.
'Arnav?' Khushi said quietly.
Arnav was physically present but mentally, he was a million miles away and Khushi's voice didn't even register in his mind. Had she ever been in love with Angad Grover? A terrible sense of jealousy ripped through him, driving away all sense of rationality, all hope of calm. His jaw tightened and clamped into a thin hard line until it ached and he could feel the rage rising in him like lava in a volcano, boiling up to the surface and threatening to spill out over the top, engulfing everything in a blazing, burning flood of fire. His breathing deepened as he struggled to contain the irrational explosion of anger that surged through his body at the thought of her with another man. Arnav closed his eyes and blew out a breath. He needed space and time to clear his head. Mustering all his strength to neutralise his voice, he turned to Khushi.
Khushi watched as Arnav and was just about to initiate conversation when she heard him say, 'I'll be back soon,' as he began walking away without a backward glance. There was a note of finality in his voice that made her want to kick and protest. She felt as if she controlled nothing at the moment and the feeling was infuriating. She grabbed his hand. 'Arnav we need to talk,' she said quietly.
The anxiety in her voice broke through the anger engulfing him and Arnav turned towards Khushi as he covered the space between them in one stride. He cupped one side of her face with his hand as some of the anger seeped from him as he saw the unease in her eyes. 'Khushi, I need some space. I'll be back in a bit,' he said with brutal honesty. Khushi desperately wanted to protest but it was his eyes that made her stomach dissolve; they were burning like molten lava. She had no choice and she nodded silently as she watched him walk away from her towards their bedroom.
Arnav pulled out his mobile phone and hit a number on speed dial. Two rings later, Sam Spade of Sam Spade Surveillance answered the phone. Arnav was clinically cold as he spoke without any greeting or preamble, 'Sam get me a background check on an Angad Grover. I don't have any other details at this stage. Get in touch with Abad Irani on the number I'm going to send you. He'll give you what he has on Grover. I want a report asap.' Arnav's breath hissed through his teeth, 'and ASAP means exactly that,' he said before hanging up.
Arnav pulled off his shirt not caring that buttons were being ripped off rather than being undone. He changed into his workout gear and walked to the gym. Grabbing a bottle of cold water from the fridge, Arnav stretched his knotted muscles. To an observer, the play of muscles beneath his skin and the inherent gracefulness in the way he moved contradicted the tension invading his body. He hit the treadmill. Running was both a mental and physical exercise for him and he moved with the fluidity of a well-oiled machine. Sweat poured over his body like a flooding river drenching his sleeveless vest, his heartbeat thundering in his ears along with Linkin Park's Burn it Down, his hair slicked back against his scalp. Forty five minutes later he stopped, panting hard as his starving lungs craved oxygen. He rested his hands on his waist as he steadied his breathing and took a long drink of icy cold water. He couldn't help but pour some of the icy liquid onto his face and over his head. Arnav closed his eyes enjoying the sensation of it as it flowed down his neck trailing the veins on his neck and disappearing down the front of his vest.
He was still too hot he thought irritably as he pulled the vest over his head.
His hair was dripping, little shiny beads of water carelessly dripped down his taut neck, down his well toned muscular chest sliding across the flat planes of his abdomen before descending into his navel. Arnav flexed his shoulders and stretched his broad sinewy bare arms above his head as he flexed his bicep muscles then bringing his hands towards his wet hair to brush it back away from his forehead.
He still needed more.
He continued stretching as he walked towards the weights, the evening rays of fading sunlight pouring through the glass panes making his sweat sheened skin glisten as if every inch of his tanned brown skin had been brushed with oil, highlighting every contour of his muscular frame as he went through the motions of weight training, relishing the burning as his muscles rippled and stretched under his taut skin. He worked out quickly, efficiently and furiously until he felt as though there was nothing left to give. Grabbing a towel he mopped up the sweat off as he walked back to their bedroom.
Looking around, Khushi was nowhere to be seen. Arnav walked to the cupboard and grabbed clean clothes and walked into the shower.
In the fierce grip of a dark, primitive and primal need to reclaim his control, Arnav slammed the palm of his hand against the shower controls and sent fierce jets of steaming water cascading over his tense, throbbing body. He relished the feel of the scalding water sluicing over his taut body. Ever muscle was defined from his punishing workout. Veins were pushed to the surface by the sheer toll of his exertion. He closed his eyes, his jaw clenched, his teeth locked as he tried to let go of the tension. Every muscle in his body was pumped up and hard, emotions still coursing round his blood like a dangerous drug.
He swore viciously and reached up to change the temperature of the water yet again, shuddering as this time an icy blast thundered onto his soaked hair, over his bare shoulders and then down his broad back. A long cold shower was what he needed to cool the heat in his blood and the fire that threatened to destroy his ability to think at all. The intense workout had taken the edge off slightly but emotionally he was still where he started off. Why the bloody hell was this affecting him so much? As litres of cold water flowed over his overheated body, Arnav stood there with grim determination until he finally acknowledged that he would develop pneumonia long before the tornado inside him died. There was only way out of this hell - he had to talk to his wife. Stepping out of the shower, he dressed with quick efficiency and made his way downstairs.
There was an eerie silence in Shanti-Vaan and the cold fingers of fear gripped Arnav's heart as he walked around his home searching for her. A rush a breath came flooding out when he finally laid eyes on her. She was sitting outside on the front steps of Shanti-Vaan. Arnav sighed deeply as he watched her stared pensively into the distance, her body language dejected like she was. This was entirely his fault. He should have spoken to her earlier. He sighed again.
Khushi sighed as she drew her knees up, resting her chin on top of her arms. The breeze blowing from the gardens was warm, a definite sign of oncoming summer. She normally loved this time of the day but today her mind was a million miles away. Why was he so angry with her?
The sound of the sliding door opening broke into her thoughts and Arnav stepped out and took a seat on the step next to her. Khushi turned her head to face him. He looked so calm, dressed in pale cream trousers with a brown leather belt and a light green v-necked sweater open at the throat. His hair was still damp and slightly curly from the shower.
'I..I'm...' she began, 'I know you're mad at me Arnav,' she said softly as she looked at him.
The hurt in her voice tore him apart.
'I'm not angry Khushi. It's just that ...that you were going to marry him...it just caught me by surprise,' he admitted quietly. 'I'm not exactly sure what I feel at the moment,' he said with brutal honesty.
Khushi sat still as his words ran through her mind. What was she supposed to say? The topic of ex's had never arisen before and she had never intended to hide anything from Arnav.
Arnav stared out to the perfectly manicured lawns. Clearly this was yet another 'we need to talk' moment. He looked at Khushi and held out his hand. She took his hand, warm, strong, interlacing their fingers. There was a sense of comfort and safety in the way her hand encased his. Arnav had no idea of how to broach the topic and he looked at Khushi and then at their joined hands, 'Khushi can we talk about Angad Grover?' he asked without any preamble.
Khushi nodded as she looked deep into his eyes.
'Arnav didn't mean to hide -'
Arnav turned swiftly and placed a finger on her lips. 'Khushi you haven't hidden anything from me. I already knew that you were engaged once because of the report. Up until now, it was all an abstract concept. But now it's real. Khushi, tell me what happened,' he said quietly.
Khushi swallowed, 'I was twenty-one, and he lived in our neighbourhood Lucknow. We grew up together but I didn't really know him. His Masi approached my family and amma and babu-ji liked him. They asked him and his parents for the marriage. Babuji gave me permission to meet him once and I did. I was so young and I guess I didn't know any better, so I said yes. The marriage date was fixed and then night before the wedding, his parents asked for a dowry. I refused the demand and ended it there and then,' Khushi said almost clinically as if she was telling him about someone else's story.
Arnav listened to Khushi, but only one thought raced through his mind and before he realised it, it was out of his mouth. 'Did you love him? Angad?' His own question surprised him. The reason behind it and the knot that tightened around his heart in response surprised him more. It was the question that had driven him to hell and back but he had just refused to acknowledge it.
Khushi turned to Arnav. 'I suppose like any young girl about to get married, I thought I cared for him,' she said. His brown eyes flashed, 'what the hell is that supposed to mean Khushi?! You thought?' he practically growled.
Khushi pulled back, 'what's wrong with you Arnav? Why are you so angry at me? What did I do? My marriage to him was arranged - I didn't have a pre-existing relationship with him! Arnav you get mad and you have no idea how much your words hurt 'you know this and you still deliberately upset me,' she said grimly as she rubbed her forehead as she attempted to conceal her tearing eyes from him.
Arnav recoiled as if he had touched a naked flame. 'Khushi, whatever you may think about me at this point, I do not like seeing you this upset,' he breathed, pulling her hand away from her face and forcing her to look at him. 'I can see we've had a major misunderstanding here, but we can fix it.'
'Misunderstanding Arnav? It's not a misunderstanding - we have different personalities, different viewpoints Arnav. You'll never understand what it was like for me,' Khushi said thickly, brushing away a stray tear. Arnav sighed. Khushi was right; he would never be able to understand her circumstances as a young twenty-one year old girl. 'Ok, I see your point Khushi. I'm sorry I shouldn't have just said that,' Arnav said as he scrubbed away her tears with the pad of his thumb.
Khushi stared at her husband momentarily. She took a deep breath, 'He was to be my husband naturally I had all these dreams about him and of what our life together might be like. But no Arnav, I didn't love him,' she said as she looked point blank into his eyes and stared into his soul. She watched as his eyes flashed, but were quickly veiled.
Clenching his jaw, Arnav raked his hand through his dark hair and suddenly the double standard that he had been living was evident to him. He had had girlfriends, he had even slept with one of them and now Khushi was telling him of her arranged marriage, he was acting like a jerk. It dawned on him that she had never questioned his past. Given that she was the innocent one, she had had every right to ask him about his history but she had never raised it.
'I'm sorry Khushi, ' he said quietly, his voice no longer full of anger, but flat and lifeless, 'I... the only defence I have is that I was jealous. It's not an excuse but the truth. Jealous that he might have once held a place in your heart, and that thought, that someone else might have ever been there, it just made me see red,' he said simply.
Arnav's words reverberated through Khushi's mind and questions that sometimes floated in her thoughts but had never made it past her lips began to move emerge. Khushi looked down at her hands, 'Have you...did you ever love, I mean were you in love with your girlfriend... girlfriends?' she asked softly. It felt uncomfortable, like pulling the edge of a band-aid but not knowing what was underneath.
Arnav turned to face Khushi. This topic was bound to come up one day and now it was here. 'I had one girlfriend when I was at Harvard. Her name was Lavanya. I met her in the States, Aman, I and Lavanya were in the same classes. Slowly we began hanging out with each other and then she and I started going out with each other.' Arnav turned his head, 'Are you sure you want to hear all this Khushi?' he asked. Khushi nodded, 'I guess now that topic has come up we might as well talk about it and after tonight, no more discussion about the ex's, deal?' she offered. Arnav nodded. 'Deal.' Khushi nodded, 'Carry on. Was Lavanya the one that you lost...I mean was she...your first?' Khushi asked quickly before she lost the nerve. Arnav nodded, 'so you didn't want to marry her?' Khushi asked.
'Khushi you know I didn't believe in marriage or love for that matter, and as cold as this sounds, it was just sex,' Arnav said bluntly, 'Lavanya knew what the deal was with me. Emotions weren't a factor. We were going out with each other and inevitably we became intimate and she moved in with me. Our relationship, which was purely physical, worked while we were there and then I finished my MBA and came back here and she moved to New York I think and I haven't seen her since.'
'And after Lavanya?'
'I dated. But there was no one serious. I never let anything get serious Khushi.'
Khushi processed all this information and she couldn't help but ask the next question as she turned to look at Arnav, 'so what was different about you and me? Why did you decide to marry me and not Lavanya or one of the others? And how do you know that you won't get bored with me too and want to move on to someone else?' she whispered.
Arnav took a deep breath. Never before had any woman in his life questioned his decisions; his word was just accepted without question. 'Khushi, you know why I love you. You know why I married you. Those same reasons stand today strong in response to your questions. And they stand because they never happened with anyone else. As for getting bored, Khushi, what if I ask you the same question, what if you get...'
'Never!' came the brutally strong response even before he had a chance to finish.
Arnav smiled, 'ok Khushi if this thing we have was just physical - lust or sex or whatever you want to call it, then now that we've had sex, has anything changed-?' he asked as she interrupted, 'We don't have sex. We make love and it's more than just sex,' Khushi corrected. Arnav smiled, 'Ah...so you admit you get the difference. This is not just sex and you know just as I do, this marriage, this relationship, this bond that you and I have, this is bigger than words. Or definitions. And it's definitely much much bigger than a physical need. As for Grover, I'm sorry for acting like such a jerk Khushi,' he said softly, 'I have no excuse for my behaviour and I am definitely guilty of double standards here. I was furious with the fact that you had a fiance though an arranged marriage, yet I've never considered your thoughts and feelings about me having had a physical relationship with another woman.'
Khushi stared into her husband's eyes quietly for a moment. 'Arnav, in relation to your past, well the way I look at it, it's exactly that - the past. You've never hidden the fact that there were others in your life before me but it's not a fact that I sit and obsess about. When I married you, I married you for who you are and not for what your history might have been. As for me, Arnav, I was never in love with Angad Grover or anyone else for that matter. I guess I should have brought it up earlier but I just haven't had a chance. Arnav, you are and will always be my first and last love and lover.'
Arnav stared at Khushi. How did she always manage to sooth his questioning mind? A little voice pipped up in his mind. Love. She really did love him. And yet again it struck Arnav, this was what people meant when they talked about true love. It was unconditional. It was boundless. It was safe in its existence even when questioned. Now he had to learn to feel safe in it.
Arnav leaned forward, looking straight into her eyes, and the words that he had struggled to say to anyone else, flowed off his tongue, 'Khushi, I don't know what else to say, other than I truly do love you, and I truly am sorry for hurting you,' he said his voice breaking with emotion as he pulled her in his arms and held her so close that she could hear his heart beating unsteadily. Arnav suddenly felt exhausted. Emotional investigation was hands down harder than cracking the most difficult business deal. Looking at Khushi who was now sitting with her head against his shoulder, he could see the same exhaustion on her face. How he wished they could go somewhere far away from everything for a while. Then it struck him. Their hands were still interlaced and he lifted them to kiss the back of her hand. 'Khushi, I think it's time we had a break from everything. I think it's time for our honeymoon.'
Khushi's eyes widened and she was just about to speak when they heard the sliding door open behind them. Both Arnav and Khushi turned around.
Anjali! Arnav smiled as his sister came into view. And then Aman emerged from the shadow behind her. It was almost as if in slow motion, Arnav watched as his best friend took his sister's hand in his and suddenly Arnav noticed the sindoor and mangalsutra on his sister.
It took less than three seconds for Arnav's brain to compute what he was witnessing and suddenly the mad rage he had only just managed to contain came racing back.
hello darlings
As promised, here's a brand spanking new chapter hot off the press!
Thank you for all your responses to my last post. I was glad to see many new faces who have been quiet until now - welcome to the story officially now!
I haven't had a chance to respond to comments as I was busy writing this chapter - I figured you'd want the chapter more than my comments! Anyway, I'll go through them soon.
p.s. I tried creating a new ID for PMs but that doesn't seem to have worked. So if you want PMs, then add me as a buddy (warriorprincess)
hugs
Naina😳
chapter 79: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/fan-fictions/3602925/arhi-ff-masterclass-thread-9-link-to-new-thread-on-pg-161?pn=67
Edited by warriorprincess - 12 years ago
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