The Trampled Butterfly #2 Check index for Th3 link

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Khushi couldn't grasp what was happening to her. One minute, she had been hiding away her tear stained face from him and the very next minute, she was letting the remnants of those tears stain his sky blue shirt.

Her hands wound automatically around his back, finding an indescribable solace in those wide shoulders that were enclosing her.

All these years, she had only wanted her best friend, but today, as she hugged him with such close proximity as a grown up man and a woman, she discovered something more to it.

Something more between them.

She desperately longed to hold on to this dream, to stay afloat in a world which only consisted of him and her and no one else.

No pains, no sorrows, no heartbreaks, no struggles.

How do you describe that feeling when the warmth of the only person who is your world, your everything touches the cold confines of your heart?

How do you describe the relief that you find when you can anchor your heart on that one person amidst the storms lurking around your life?

Fifteen years of desperation and longing had ultimately boiled down to this one moment and when it came alive, she wanted it to last for the next fifteen years.

But she was brought back to the reality by the deep distinct sound of his heart thumping on his chest, making her realise that this was all real.

This was not a dream that she could hold on to.

And she used all her strength to pull apart from him, only to struggle in vain against his strong arms.

"Chotey Saab." Her lips quivered, as she raised her head to look up at him. Arnav's eyes were closed and she became acutely aware of his hands holding her waist.

"Chotey Saab!" she called out his name once again. "Anjali Memsaab and Ranvijay Saab might be on their way back."

Arnav didn't know what was happening to him. It was like he was high on cocaine. Why did he feel euphoric with that one hug? It was as if that one moment had vanished away his entire burden, his guilt hidden within him for the past fifteen years.

Why did he feel so right when she was in his arms? Why did he feel like her protector? Why did he want to provide refuge for that heartbroken soul?

She was just his best friend, whom he hadn't even met for the last fifteen years. But why did he feel as if there was more to them than mere friendship?

As if it was a karmic connection?

Or soul mates?

"This is wrong. We shouldn't be doing this. We are not kids anymore." Khushi replied and moved away from him, casting her eyes down, away from his gaze.

He observed her sitting down on a boulder, dipping her bare feet into the moving stream and her words struck him as hard as a bullet.

They were not kids anymore. They were two grown up adults living in completely two different worlds marked by class, status, society and gender. But with this one hug, they had overstepped those boundaries marked by them, the lines of their relationship rapidly blurring.

She was not the five year old 'Kukku' anymore. She was a twenty five year old Khushi.

He too went and sat down on one of the boulders dipping his feet into the cool water, all the while observing her from the corner of his eyes. Her head was cast down, her gaze lost in the oblivious of the water currents. He desperately wanted to know what was going on in her head. But he knew now was not the right time to venture into her personal territory.

If she needed time for herself, he was damn ready to give her the space. This was part of his amends.

No words were spoken, no eyes were met for the rest of their outing. Ranvijay and Anjali had returned back after sometime, to find the two sitting in opposite corners lost in their own world. After enjoying the Jharipani falls, they travelled to nearby places for the rest of the day. But neither Arnav nor Khushi had spoken to each other.

It was as if they were consciously avoiding each other.

And they continued to do so, till they returned back home late in the evening.

o0o

"Call everyone from their rooms. The designer is here." Naina informed Khushi, as the young girl hurried through the entire house to inform the other members of the family.

One of India's leading wedding outfit designers had been invited to design the clothes for the nuptials going to be held at the church. And since it was colour coded occasion, it was decided that only one person would design for the entire family to maintain uniformity.

The men were going to wear black tuxedos with midnight blue ties, while the women would wear midnight blue outfits, matching with the men.

One by one, the Raizadas and the associated members came down and started being measured for the outfits.

"Sasuma, I was thinking about wearing a gown for our Anjali's nuptials. What do you say?" Manorma Mami suggested, sauntering towards the designer to get her measurements done.

"Arrey Manorma, I doubt the threads are strong enough to hold all that fat around you. Who knows, the gown might burst open when you shake your waist and walk like that. Sari is a safer option." Nani replied back causing everyone to double up with laughter hearing her.

"What Sasuma!" Manorma groaned, with disappointment.

"Actually Nani, let Mami wear a gown please?" Anjali pleaded, hugging her favourite Mami. "She has been waiting for this day for the past twenty six years."

"I know Anjali." Mami replied, hugging her niece. "When the bride herself supports me, I'm not going to fear."

"Bhai!" Anjali called out to Arnav who was the last one to come in.

"Do I really have to do this?" he asked with a groan, only to freeze for a second, noticing Khushi standing in one corner observing with amusement at all that was happening.

"No excuses Bhai. You will have to go through this big fat Indian wedding torture!" Anjali flashed her tongue at him.

Arnav half heartedly walked towards the designer's assistant to get his measurements done, but all the while his eyes were only on Khushi.

He observed how her eyes would wander to everyone else except for him. It was as if she was avoiding him after yesterday's hug.

Why had things got awkward between them after that one hug? He didn't like it. Not even a single bit of it. This awkwardness was not exactly in his plan of action for amendments.

Meanwhile, he noticed Dadi entering the room and didn't miss out how Khushi was the only one who walked towards the old lady to help her sit amidst all the commotion.

He didn't miss out how animatedly both Khushi and his Dadi would talk to each other secretly, laughing at the drama unfolding among the other members.

He didn't miss out the special bond that Khushi and his Dadi shared with each other, something he had once shared with his Dadi and something which no other person did.

"Devyani, you wear the Indian sari. I will rock the floor with my British cocktail dress." Dadi sniggered at her counterpart, as more laughter erupted among the family.

"Dadi, I was thinking even Khushi should get a dress." Arnav interjected, continuing to stand in his place while the assistant measured his arms.

"But Chotey, Nuptials is a family only event. The servants are invited only for the reception." Mami cut him off, and for the first time, he was annoyed with his Mami seeing the crestfallen face of Khushi at her comment.

She had stood up and immediately walked into the kitchen, in the pretext of some work, but he knew it was only because of the comment.

"I was thinking, why don't we invite Khushi and her Buaji too?" Dadi immediately suggested. "They have been working for us for a long time. They are also integral to this family."

"But if we invite her, we have to invite other servants too. We cannot exclude others." Nani interrupted her.

Arnav stared with absolute silence at his family as the realisation dawned upon him.

Maybe Khushi had been his best friend, but to his family, she was just their servant lady's niece. Nothing more.

That was the harsh reality about Khushi.

He didn't hear the rest of the conversation, but his eyes were only focussed on the kitchen door where she had disappeared.

o0o

Amends.

He had to make amends.

He reminded himself as he walked down the slope towards her cottage. He had observed her Buaji busy working at the Raizada Manor and he knew, she was all alone in the cottage at this time.

When he approached near, he noticed her sitting at the doorstep and counting what seemed to be money in her hands and writing down something in a book.

She immediately sensed him approaching her and quickly put away whatever was in her hand back into a box and stood up.

"Chotey Saab, what are you doing here?" He noticed how surprised she looked, as if this was the last thing she had expected.

He walked closer to her and sat down on the step beside her, just like how they used to do when they were kids.

"No, Don't sit there. Come inside." She quickly offered, but he refused.

"Why? Am I not allowed to sit here?" he asked and she immediately shook her head with an apology.

"No, it's not like that. I mean the steps are dirty and your clothes will be soiled." She explained.

"So why didn't you stop me when we were kids?" he asked, looking directly into her eyes and she was at loss for words.

"If you needed something, you should have informed Dadiji."

"Why? Can't I talk directly to you? I remember you clearly offering your help to me."

"What do you want?" she asked, deliberately sitting on the lowest step of the stairs so that she was spaced out from him. But Arnav noticed it and before she could react, he slid down the steps so that he was at par with her.

"I want you to come to the nuptials." He said, turning to look at her in the eyes. But she was looking elsewhere.

"I cannot come. I would be busy that day preparing for the next day's reception." Khushi tried to excuse herself.

"Khushi, I'm asking you as your best friend." He said, reaching out to hold her hand.

But she immediately pulled it away from his grip, shocking him at her gesture. "We were best friends, Chotey Saab. In the past."

Arnav simply couldn't understand her behaviour. Till yesterday, she had been so desperate to revive back their friendship and today, why was she alienating herself from him?

"What is it supposed to mean?" He asked, feeling a bit hurt with her words.

"Buaji was right. I'm a stupid silly girl who held on to this friendship for so long. Don't you see Chotey Saab? We are not supposed to be friends. I mean look at you. You are Arnav Singh Raizada, the son of liquor Baron Billionaire. What am I? Just a silly girl working in your house. How can we be friends? You should be hanging out with your billionaire friends. Not me!"

"Is this because of our yesterday's hug?" he asked, forcing her to look at him.

"Yes, Chotey Saab." She admitted without any hesitation. "It is because of our yesterday's hug. You and I both know we crossed a line there. I thought about it for the entire night and realised it's all my fault. I was the one who was so desperate to revive back our friendship. You were right in pretending to not know me. I was the foolish one. What was I thinking? That after fifteen years we could still be friends? When we were innocent, it was fine. But the society would never accept the friendship between us." The latter part was just another excuse and she knew it very well.

"Who cares about the society?" Arnav instantly roared causing her to frighten. "Why do you care about the society?"

"Because Chotey Saab, in a month, you would have returned back to London. Whereas, I would be the one left, facing that same society and people. I would have to answer questions hurled at me. So it is better that we nip the bud itself." Now that was the real reason why she was holding back. As if she gave a damn to the society! But another fear had surfaced within her, a fear of being abandoned by her best friend once again and she couldn't afford to let that fear trod into reality.

"If that's what you want, Fine. I don't give a damn!" Arnav angrily stood up and stormed away right back to the way he had arrived, leaving her all by herself.

But Khushi knew it was the right decision.

There was no way she could allow this friendship to blossom, especially not after what she had felt yesterday when they had hugged each other.

Her conscience was telling her that she was not wrong, but her rational mind knew that it was not right either.