Chapter 5: Fata Organa
Fata Organa. N. A flash of real emotion glimpsed in someone sitting across the room, idly locked in the middle of some group conversation, their eyes glinting with vulnerability or quiet anticipation or cosmic boredom – as if you could see backstage from the gap in the curtains, watching stagehands holding their ropes at the ready, actors in costume mouthing their lines, fragments of bizarre sets waiting for some other production.
Long Island, New York City, Present
She wakes up before her alarm owing to the fact that she'd slept so early the previous day. Tying her hair in a loose ponytail she reluctantly moves herself off the bed and freshens up, then moving on to readying her outfit for work and packing her sketching material in her bag.
It's still a while till the other two wake up and she makes her way downstairs; she hasn't had any dinner and she's starving.
20 minutes later when the smell of Aloo Paratha wafts in, she hears Rahul come down and turns around to grin knowingly at him. "Saale, you were just waiting for breakfast weren't you? You could've come down and lent me a hand!"
He grins sheepishly and she swats him playfully on the arm.
"Why isn't Muskaan up yet?"
"Oh she didn't get much sleep last night, so I let her sleep in."
"Didn't get much sleep, eh?" she winked and he rolled his eyes good naturedly at the innuendo.
"Can we have breakfast together? We've been wanting to talk to you."
"Sure. Just let me have one of these yeah? I haven't had anything last night either; I'm hungry."
"Yeah, no worries. You okay, though?"
"I'm good, why?"
"Well you were asleep last evening."
"Just tired, nothing else. Scoured the site yesterday, it's massive!"
"Glad you like your job." she grins in response and serves herself a Paratha.
"I invited Arjun and Ishaan over, for dinner. This Saturday. That fine with you?"
"Of course! What's the occasion?"
"Nothing, just like that. I haven't met Ishaan in ages anyway!"
"Hmm. Ask Muskaan to make sure though."
"Yep."
He reads the paper then and she devours her Paratha. It's a companionable silence and she picks up her half read magazine and continues where she left off.
It's a few minutes later when she breaks the silence. "Arjun came by, last night."
He looks appropriately shocked and she smiles. "Arjun?!" he still sounds like he can't quite believe it and she can't blame him; she's sure she was wearing the same shocked expression when she'd seen him at the door last night.
"Yeah, Arjun."
"Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, he actually came by to apologize. And to ask my blessing. He's going to propose, so."
"Say what now?"
"I know right. But yeah we uh, made up -not sure if that's the right term- but yeah, we did."
He seems to be waiting for her to add more but she just grins languidly at him.
"I'm not saying anything else, Rahul. The rest is between us."
"Since when have you learnt keeping secrets from me?" he asks, deadpan.
"Oh shut up. He basically just apologized for being an ass and uh, told me why he was being one and that is definitely private because it's not my place to say so yeah."
"Okay. At least dinners will be less awkward."
She huffs a laugh and they go back to reading, silence prevailing once more, over the house.
It's a while later when Muskaan comes down. Riddhima gets to making Parathas for the three of them and watches them sizzle on the pan while Muskaan reads the paper; small bits of conversation flitting in and out of the silence.
She brings the plates on the table and smiles at their appreciative looks at the Parathas.
"So," she asks, while simultaneously settling herself on the chair. "Rahul said you guys wanted to talk to me?"
"Yeah. About that, we just wanted to thank you."
Rahul nods his agreement while she's still figuring out what they're thanking her for.
"And why are you guys thanking me?"
"Because," and it's Rahul who answers this time, "You got me to talk to Muskaan about, you know, family. And my issues. Things are much better now. We're not trying for a baby just yet, but yeah, it's on the cards."
He looks blissfully happy and she can only smile and hug the two, but that's enough; they always read between the lines anyway.
"Seriously though, if you guys ever thank me again, I'm moving out."
And that breaks the modicum of tension that had settled over them. She grins beatifically at Rahul and Muskaan while they laugh.
Malik Associates, New York City, Present
She checks her reflection in the mirror one last time, making sure she looks professional and the kind of person who knows what she's doing.
Satisfied, she makes her way to her cabin and waits for her eleven o'clock appointment to arrive. On a whim, she calls up Tracy.
"Hey Tracy? Yeah, everything's fine, no worries. Just do me a favor. Do we still have some of that Irish blend? Ask George to uh, brew some for 2 people, and have it sent to my cabin when I call, please. Yeah, no I think they might be impressed." she laughs nervously, and then smiles when Tracy is quick to reassure her.
She hangs up soon after and waits for her clients, a sketchpad and pen in hand. Just then shelter phone buzzes and she smiles, already knowing who it is.
Good luck with your first appointment Ridzy <3 Kick some ass ;)
Rahul wishes you luck too! -M
Thanks guys :') x -R
She's just kept her phone back when it buzzes again and she wonders who it is, before seeing it and being pleasantly surprised.
All the best for your first appointment; it's nerve-wracking I know. But you'll get through it. - A
Thank you :) x -R
Two minutes and ten deep breaths later the door to her cabin opens and she only has a split second to think this is it Riddhima before they're coming in and it's like she's on autopilot or like someone standing in the room and watching the scene take place. She feels like she's watching herself in a movie and it literally feels like an out of body experience.
She finds herself cataloging data on them automatically. Old, Spanish, immigrants, rich, simple, classy, a bit antisocial but that could be because they're in a new country; and the ideas she previously had in her head start twisting, adapting, changing to accommodate all this new information and this she is perfectly well versed with, and the nervousness is replaced with confidence in herself.
Introductions are made and she prepares herself to get to know Mr. and Mrs. Chavez.
She surprises them with a cheery goodmorning in Spanish and manages to surprise them pleasantly.
They're delighted to find out she speaks fluent Spanish and that breaks the ice. She proceeds to ask them how America has been for them so far and tries to gauge their preferences from there on.
"Is America to your liking so far, Mr. Chavez?"
"Please, call me Carlos. And this is my wife, Ana."
"Pleased to meet you both!"
"The pleasure is ours Ms. Gupta! Mr. Malik has told us you shall be doing out apartment?"
"Yes, Mr. Chavez. Carlos." she amends quickly.
"Before we get down to the important stuff, would you like some tea or coffee? It might take a while; these discussions do tend to go on."
"Some coffee, please. For both of us, thank you."
She orders for the coffee and then explains to them how she plans to go about the appointment, letting them know that she'll start out with simple questions just to get a hang about their tastes and preferences and then move on to the technical stuff.
Since the apartment they've purchased has no fixed designs as to how many rooms it has, it gives Riddhima complete freedom and she loves it.
It occurs to her that maybe that's why Armaan had given her this project. Maybe he'd known that it would be easier to work with no boundaries first, rather than confining her thoughts to the given specifics. She feels a sudden rush of gratitude for him, he's been amazing to work with, so far.
The coffee arrives few minutes later, with some date and walnut cake on the side. It settles her down, makes her lose that last vestige of nervousness.
They're quite taken with her, and she can't help but be pleased. They tell her about their lifestyle in Spain and in turn ask her a few questions of their own. They don't get too personal and she's grateful because things tend to get awkward when people find out where she grew up and my god but there's nothing that bothers her as much as pity.
An hour and a half later she has a notepad that is oozing with notes and doodles and half formed designs. They'd discussed the specifics of the apartment, and they weren't too elaborate. Just 2 bedrooms, living room, kitchen, attached bathrooms obviously and a library come study. She gives them an appointment for the next week and as they take her leave she lets go of a breath she didn't know she was holding.
It's lunch time and she decides to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat. Taking only her cellphone and her novel with her, she leaves the cabin, stopping only when Tracy asks her how it went.
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"...that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't open the box to feed it, eventually it'll just be two different kinds of dead) and that there are stars in the universe that are billions of years older than the universe itself."
She puts the book down for a bit, and takes a forkful of salad while processing the chapter she'd just read. She likes to do that; read a chapter and then think about it. She decides she's read enough of it for now because the book sits heavy in her mind forcing her to think, to change her way of thinking and paints the world in a 50 shades of gray (ha. No pun intended) and she's not entirely sure how she feels about that, so she puts her bookmark and gets back to her salad, occasionally looking out of the window, thinking of nothing in particular. Randomly she checks her watch to make sure it's been more than 2 hours since she had her coffee. It has and she continues eating her salad at ease.
She remembers Muskaan's mother telling them to never have anything green like fruits or vegetables right after having caffeine in any form because the nutrients will be lost. It's a small thing, not a huge gesture but from then on she knows that both she and Rahul have always kept it in mind, even if Muskaan hasn't because it's not about the lost nutrients, it never is, but more about the fact that someone cared enough to tell them that kind of thing. At eleven, when they'd grown used to sticking together just the two of them, Muskaan came in their lives, and took them in so completely that she still can't believe it at times. That was generosity of levels that she'd never seen before.
She's startled out of her musing with a, "Mind if I join you?" and a smile and for a moment she's wonder struck because godfcukingdammit no one should be able to smile like that, warm blue eyes and oh so earnest.
"No, of course not!" she smiles back.
Placing his tray on the table, he sits opposite her, and takes a sip of his coffee before taking a bite of the salad and she bites back the piece of advice about caffeine and green stuff, telling herself to shut up. It's human tendency she supposes; you're thrown into uncharted territory and you have this innate need to present yourself as calm and composed and maybe a little smart. It makes you feel good.
A few minutes later he looks up sheepishly and smiles, "Sorry about that, I'm not that rude all the time, I promise. Just really hungry. Anyway, how did your appointment go?"
She takes a thoughtful sip of her decaf latte before answering, "It went really well, I loved it. They're really pleased with your company and I'm basically going to make a basic plan and get it approved by them by next week, and we can start from there."
"Sounds good; I'll get you introduced to the other guys you'll have to coordinate with; electricians and plumbers, that sort of thing. Let me know when you're done with the final design and we can set something up."
"Great!"
It's silent for a few minutes after that (they're both eating) but he doesn't let it remain so for too long.
"How long have you been in New York? If you don't me asking, that is!"
"No, it's cool. Almost two years, actually. You've been here your whole life?"
"Yeah, born and brought up. Two years is an incredibly short time to establish yourself as a freelancer, it's remarkable."
She flushes slightly at his impressed tone. "I'm afraid I can't take all the credit for that. My friend, the one I'm staying with, he runs a construction company and know people in the business so it was all just word of mouth, really."
"But you had to be good or you wouldn't last." he shrugs and she consents with a pleased smile.
"Well, what about you? You can't be much older than me and you're running a firm, now that's amazing!"
"I uh, used to work here as an intern just like Nick and the others, while my dad ran the company, but he passed away about 2 years ago, so. I'm still learning the ropes, but it's been a good year. Sort of."
"I am so sorry, seriously. I feel terrible asking."
"No worries, it's all good!" glancing at her book, "You read a lot?"
Grateful for the change in subject, she responds with an enthusiastic yes and shakes her head, smiling, when he tells her he has no appreciation for them.
The conversation flows unabated and she finds they have plenty in common with what the two of them being crime show junkies, into music and football too. It leaves her buzzed and warm, the kind of warmth that only comes when you find yourself in sync with another person and it feels like they just sort of get you.
"You play often?" he asks her between sips of coffee.
She shakes her head ruefully, "Rahul, one of the friends I live with, and I play a little when we head to the park occasionally but those times are few and far between. So no. You?"
"I've got this...group of friends, and we uh, play every Sunday at this park near our neighborhood. I've lived in this city all my life so I know a fair amount of people, and yeah!"
"Oh that sounds amazing!"
"I'll tell you what, you should come. Get your friends too, we play every Sunday and I can text you the address if you'd like. It'll be fun!"
She's more than a little surprised at his invitation. Either he's always that open with people he met earlier this week or it's just today. She's inclined towards the former; he's typically American that way.
"Um, I can't make it this weekend 'cause I've got this lunch thing and a few family friends are coming over and yeah, that kinda situation. Sorry."
"You worry too much. It's cool, don't apologize. My invitation still stands though, for every week. Just come whenever you can, I can text you the address whenever."
"Sure, okay. Awesome."
It's awkward for a few moments until she realizes she should get going because the designs still need to be dealt with, "I should...probably get going. Lots of work." she huffs a smile and waves goodbye as he gives her one of his blinding smiles again.
And she has to mentally remind herself not to flush, or smile like she's crazy because what the hell she's a grown woman not a teenager with a crush. Not that she has a crush on Armaan or anything. Oh no, she isn't touching that line of thought with a ten foot pole, thank you very much.
She leaves the office, handbag packed, desk cleared and earphones plugged in, not noticing the intrigued look she receives from him.
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Long Island, New York City, Present
She snuggles into bed that night and her lips curve before she can help them when she remembers the glint in his eyes, that dimple in his smile and the way her cheeks seemed to be suffused with heat the entire time. So far she was doing a bang up job (not really, no) of not having a crush. Sighing she turns to her left and sleeps.
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Cornell University, Ithaca, five years ago
She remembers looking at him this one time while he drove them to her favorite restaurant and she thinks, "God, I'm so gone for him."
And she's not entirely sure what to do with that information, is it too soon, or not, and just, yeah. She's confused.
She remembers those little things he did, little things that were so Ishaan. Those odd moments when he surprised her with a bunch of wildflowers that he'd picked from god knows where, those smiles he reserved just for her, eyes crinkling at their corners, shining with affection, those moments of heat when his pupils blew wide, when no words were spoken just heated murmurs along the lines of love you, want you, more and faster. Those days when she didn't feel too good and he snuggled with her and really she doesn't know what she'd done to deserve a smuggler for a boyfriend. It was magic.
She remembers the way his eyes shone with pride everytime she did well in a test, the way his body molded hers so perfectly, the way he'd wiped her tears after she'd told him about her more than fcuked up childhood, the way his lips would twitch when he tried to hide his amusement and the way he bought her little trinkets that he knew she loved.
She recalls the way his eyes shone with exhaustion after a long day, the way they shone with gratitude and love when she brought him food and urged him to sleep at normal times because yes he wants to change the world, one computer program at a time but he's got to slow down and she loves when he talks to her about his research and hacking while lying on her lap while she does his best to follow him. God she loves him.
She remembers the distance, the way it grew, and the way it stole up on them so stealthily that they couldn't even stop it.
She remembers the tears in both of their eyes when they realize they're better off as friends.
She remembers the way it hurt to look at him for a while after that because she'd thought; they'd thought that this was it for both of them because surely they wouldn't love anyone else like that. Right?
She remembers all this and more when she accepts her degree as she graduates from her dream university, summa cum laude. She looks at him and he's there right beside Rahul and Muskaan and she sees the same pride, the same (but different) affection in his eyes and she smiles just for him and vows to make the friendship work even if it takes everything she has. Because they're going to be okay. She'll be damned if they aren't. And for a moment she thinks she sees the sentiment mirrored in his unwavering gaze.
But then she's looking at Rahul and Muskaan and they're blowing kisses and she thinks ridiculous before giving in to that blinding smile she knew was coming her way.
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Parineeti
Chakravarti Samrat Prithviraj Chauhan
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