Interlude I: Riddhima
Marea, 240 Central Park S, present
She's in one of her moods. Not one of her I-hate-everything moods, but rather one of those where you think about every little thing that you see and the world makes your eyes light up in wonder because there's just so much to see, to savor. You realize you're just a speck in the universe, or maybe something even smaller and it humbles you in a way that nothing else does. Riddhima likes to remember these days when chrysalism is at its finest, and she's quiet, just listening, seeing, touching, and feeling.
They go to Marea for lunch and it's the best Italian restaurant in New York City not to mention criminally expensive, but it's a celebration and they figure an indulgence is okay, once in a while. Lunch is quiet, no one really says anything and it's not the kind of silence that is grating, pushing and just begging her to end it, but the kind where her mind runs free, and she is utterly at peace with herself no conflicts whatsoever.
She sees the way Rahul absentmindedly rubs his thumb in circles on Muskaan's hands and she senses that things have worked out between them, although they look exhausted so she figures it took a lot out of them. She watches the couple two tables to their left and realizes after a bit that it's Armaan. With the secretary. Armaan is (was? They seem to be fighting) dating Brittany. Wow.
He looks genuinely distressed, if the way he's rubbing the nape of his neck, is anything to go by. She'd have gone and said hello, but he looks like he's on the verge of a break-up and she hopes it's a clean break. For both of them; regardless of the fact that she's only seen his girlfriend once.
She mouths "That's Armaan" to Muskaan who suddenly turns excited (which is, frankly, rather worrying and so Muskaan) and turns around to look at him discreetly.
"Wow, he's hot."
And that completely ends Riddhima's "mood" and they end up stifling their laughs behind polite giggles because it would not do to laugh out loud at this restaurant and disturb the calm. Tiramisu is the unanimous choice for dessert and; one tiramisu and one pot of coffee later, they leave for the cinema because Muskaan wants to watch a film and none of them have a better idea.
She looks back to see, Brittany leave with a kiss on Armaan's cheek as Armaan clears the cheque. Her lips quirk up in a sad little smile; break-ups are never easy. A few minutes later she looks back again only to see a sea of people behind her and she realizes something that she thinks she will never forget, not if her life depends on it and the moment is stunningly overwhelming, leaving her fumbling and stuttering in the wake of its enormity because everything she has ever felt, every weight on her shoulders, fades in comparison to this.
She realizes that each person around her, from the homeless guy to the socialites back at Marea, is living a life as complicated, as vivid as hers. Each one of them has their unquestionable moments of craziness, joy, sorrow, in an epic tale that continues invisibly around her, twisting, turning, its course in every which direction like an anthill that sprawls deep into the ground with thousands of tunnels that no one ever sees. And she realizes she's just one of those tunnels and that everything around her is an elaborately intricate story in which she is but an extra. Nothing but a girl sipping coffee in the background, or the blur of passing traffic, or the ripples that appear when the stone makes impact with water. She's only as unique as every other person around her and it leaves her unsettled to realize that there are literally a million moments in front of her and she will never know them all because she's a stranger to everyone of them and that's all she ever will be.
The sheer massiveness of the epiphany unsettles her and she excuses herself from the cinema. There's too much, too fast and she needs to sort it out, alone. She can see the sudden change in her demeanor hasn't escaped her friends and she assures them she's fine and she just needs some time to herself. Muskaan looks like she's going to stop her but Rahul holds her back and Riddhima shoots him a grateful smile for understanding her yet again.
She takes the metro back home. Turning the ancient chest at the bottom of her window seat upside down, she searches for her journal. It's not a diary, the last thing she's ever wanted to do is to write about her feelings. It gives her the hives. No, it's more of a place where she scribbles down random thoughts, occasional abstract designs that she's drawn while thinking about something, a few photographs here and there and that's pretty much it, really.
She puts the date on the page, picks up a pen lying nearby and starts sketching. Before she knows it it's turned into an abstract pattern of sorts and it's kind of cathartic and she feels so much lighter. It's like the moment wasn't pressing down on her anymore. It was in front of her and she could see it. Observe it. Savor it. She reckons it's doubtlessly one of the weirdest days of her life.
She makes herself a cup of hot cocoa and settles in her bed with her book. Rahul and Muskaan arrive a few hours later and she's fine, if a little off kilter with the events of the day. They tell her about the film and she listens and realizes that she may never know anyone outside this bubble of hers and the same thought that left her shaky and unsure this afternoon leaves her content now, as if something has slotted into place inside her, between afternoon and evening. And maybe she's a stranger to a million moments but she's okay with that because she's got all she needs right here and it's not going anywhere.
----------
It's time to begin, isn't it?
I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit
I'm just the same as I was
Now don't you understand
That I'm never changing who I am.
- It's Time (Imagine Dragons)
Edited by Aanya. - 12 years ago
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