Posted:
{How I Knew}
I am a girl on my way to become a woman, a girl who'll eventually be forgotten after she dies, an ordinary average every-other girl, a person on this planet, and I can be any girl.
My mom always told me I'd make a beautiful woman, my dad told me I'd be a responsible one. And I loved them, they play a big part in making me the adolecent I am today.
But I, I just wanted to be a woman who found love.
The forever kind of love, or as the filmy girl inside me would say, the ishq wala love, Raj-Megha kind of love, the Edward-Bella kind of love.
But I guess that's where I fell back a little bit.
These expectations, they are monsters. They kill you and everything that makes you smile, genuinely.
Then there was him.
I'd known him for a large chunk of my life.
We went from just being aware of each other's existance to what we are now.
I despise of the term boyfriend, it's just so immature and churlish, or at least I find it to be.
"So are you guys like going out?"
This often led to silence. Going out? The term makes me scoff, and they ask why I don't have much hope for our generation.
He's my companian. A romantic companian if all you gushing young females must.
I'm not saying he's my "soulmate" because I simply don't have the maturity to know so. I'm an 18 year old girl , and like any other 18 year old girl, I just want to be happy and he makes me happy, he makes me smile, and for me, that's more than enough.
Religion, God, Soul and Soulmates, these are things we believe in. What concrete scientific proof do we have that these things exist?
Somethings don't need proof.
We humans do things that not even we, ourselves, can explain.
Love is one of those things. What proof do we have that this feeling exists? What proof do we have that the connection we believe in due to the media exists? What proof do we have of anything really?
These fanfictions, these shows, these movies, these books, they all have the famous romantic eyelocks, and dialogues, and whatnot.
But they are all fiction for a reason. We like to dream of these things, we like to believe a "prince riding a beautiful white horse" will come and sweep us off our feet, or that we'll find the perfect anti-hero and find the hero in him.
But let's get real. The chances of you getting struck by lightning are higher.
What I'm trying to get at is that love doesn't have a definition, it's a blank piece of paper. But you have the pencil in your hands to define what love means to you.
For all these years I've written and erased things on that piece of paper over and over again. These eraser shavings measured my maturity growing over the years.
It was my 18th birthday when I finally mustered up the courage to pick up a pen.
I began to question him, I began to question "us", and that day he said to me few words.
They weren't the 3 magical words, so don't get yourself hyped.
Nor was it a romantic poem, and for sure it wasn't one of those lines from a contemporary romance novel. I wouldn't expect it from a clueless romantic like him either.
It was him. It was everything he was feeling at that moment in time.
And god I remember him fumbling over his words, messing up, stutttering, wording things up wrong, getting tongue tied.
They got me by surprise, I never in a million years though that my idiot could be so... romantic? I can't even find the right words.
But that day his every word was a mirror of his heart.
We have our imperfections, he has his, I (definitely) have mine, but in that moment I knew that even if we end up not making it, I'll never regret having him in my life.
The words he said were only meant for my ears, but you should know that they gave me my definition.
I am a girl, on my way to become a woman, and that is how I knew.
***
A/N: I hope you could relate to it. This girl can be anyone, it can be you, your sister, that girl that sits next to you in class everyday, it could be be Geet, Khushi, anyone! I just wanted you guys to be able to relate to this OS.
This one's for my Dishu, a confused girl to another. I hope it helped.
Shweta <3
Cricket
