sorry for the delayed update! NOTE: I am going to be out of town till Sunday evening - so I probably won't be able to update till then!
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Recap:
His anger was quickly replaced with worry, as he thought 'Why the hell would she lie to me about where she's going?'
'Dammit Khushi, where are you!?'
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Chapter 2:
Arnav continued pacing up and down, thinking about where Khushi could be. Let's see - there's the Devi Maiyya mandir, and there's the secret garden. He grabbed his keys off the side table, and ran downstairs, shouting out on the way 'Di, Nani, I'm going out for a bit, I have an important meeting! I'll be back late at night, don't wait up for me'
He stormed out of the door, the tension showing clearly on his face, as he slammed the door of his SUV shut. He revved up the engine, as he sped off, first stopping at the mandir. He got out of the car and looked around, and ran up a few steps to see if she was there. Seeing that she wasn't around, and not being able to feel her presence, he muttered 'Dammit' and got back into the car. He kept calling her up, shouting all the while 'Dammit Khushi, pick up the damn phone!'. He suddenly realized that Khushi couldn't have gone to the secret garden, as each time he'd taken her there, she'd been blindfolded, thus wouldn't have been able to see where exactly it is.
'Shit', he groaned as he banged his fist against the steering wheel.
'Wait...since Mohan said he dropped her off at Buaji's, yet she isn't at Buaji's, that doesn't mean she's not around Laxmi Nagar' he thought to himself.
Heading towards Laxmi Nagar, he stopped at the beginning of the mohalla, and jumped out of the car.
He saw Happy Singh working in his garage and went up to him
'Happy, Happy have you seen Khushi anywhere?'
'Arre Arnavji, aap! Nahin toh, I haven't seen Khushi this morning. Your driver dropped her off and then after he left, she grabbed an auto and went somewhere! Strange, she didn't even go meet Buaji, or Aunty or Uncle. Normally she never does that!'
'What the...!' Arnav said furiously.
'Ok thanks Happy. Also don't tell anyone I was here, please'
'Ji, bilkul Arnavji'
Arnav got back into his SUV, and thought rationally.
'Hold on, I bought her new phone, and it has a GPS location, in case anyone stole it, or something happened to her. All I need to do is find out where her phone is, and I'll find her.'
He immediately called up the phone company and barked at them to find out where Mrs Arnav Singh Raizada's phone was, and if he didn't know within the next 30 seconds, every single one of them was getting fired.
As soon as they told him that she was 3 kilometers down the Delhi-Lucknow highway, he hung up the phone, and wondered 'What the hell is she doing there?!'
He drove off, as fast as he could, and as soon as he hit the highway started driving faster. As soon as his SATNAV told him he was about 3km down the highway, he stopped the car and looked around, and found himself looking at willow trees on one side, and an empty expanse of land on the other.
He headed towards the willow trees, shouting at the top of his lungs 'KHUSHI! KHUSHI, WHERE ARE YOU?!'
He walked past a tree, only to step on something and hear it break.
'What the - ' he looked down and found a glass bangle. He looked up and continued walking, until he came across a meadow, with a few willow trees around it.
He found Khushi, sitting in the meadow, her back towards him, and as he walked in front of her and turned towards her, he found her eyes closed.
He grabbed her shoulder and pulled her up, shouting at her all the while
'Khushi, what the hell! Where were you?! Kahan thi tum!? Don't you know how worried I was?! How could you lie to me!?'
'Khushi?! Khushi, talk to me dammit!'
He shook her shoulders, trying to get a response out of her, when her eyes opened, and he froze, seeing the glazed look in them.
'Khushi...kya hua? I know, that you're not ok. Khushi, talk to me, please' he pleaded with her.
He saw the emotions flicker in her eyes, as she came around.
'Huh...? Arre, Arnavji, wait, what are you doing here?' she sounded confused.
'I should be asking you that question. What the hell are you doing out here, all by yourself? And, why did you lie to me, saying that you went to Buaji's?!'
'Oh...actually, the thing is Arnavji...I wanted to be alone today. And, this, this is the only place I could do that.'
'Par Khushi, since when do you like being alone? And, why here? Khushi, I don't understand'.
Khushi's head snapped up as he said 'understand'. She thought to herself cynically, he doesn't 'understand'? How unfortunate, that she was just about to tell him, how much exactly he didn't understand HER.
'Arnavji...a few days ago you said that I don't understand you. But now, now I've realized...that I don't think ki aap humein samajhte hain. I don't think you understand me.' Khushi whispered painfully.
Arnav's heart stopped as his brain whirred into motion. What was Khushi saying, that he didn't understand her? Of course he understood her, he understood her better than anyone else! He was her husband, dammit!
'Khushi...what..what are you saying?' he replied, at a loss for words.
'I'm saying nothing but the truth Arnavji. You, don't understand me.' she said coldly.
'But Khushi...aise kya hua? Why are you saying all of this, suddenly?'
'Arnavji, do you want to know what exactly I'm doing here? Do you really want to know?' she asked him blankly.
'Yes, of course Khushi! Of course I want to know'. he replied, the hurt evident in his eyes.
'I'm performing my parents barsi.' she said.
Arnav felt as though his entire world came crashing down upon him.
'You...what?' he whispered.
'Haan. I'm performing my Amma and Bauji's barsi.' she replied wistfully.
'But Khushi...alone? Here? Why?' he asked her.
Khushi turned away from him, and started walking towards a lone willow tree in front of her, and bent down to pick something up.
She turned back and stood there, cradling the object in her arms to her heart.
'Arnavji, do you remember last year, on that one day when I didn't come to your house when I was training Lavanyaji, and I said I didn't come because I was sick?' she asked him.
Arnav remembered that day clearly, because not only did he feel worried for her, but he had tried to suppress that worry, and had called her up to shout at her that evening, and told her that if she dared miss any more days, she wouldn't get paid.
'oh my god' he whispered to himself.
'Arnavji, now you know what I was actually doing, don't you?'
She continued, not giving him an opportunity to reply - 'I was performing my parents barsi then as well'.
'You must be wondering, why do I come out here and do it, all by myself. Why I don't have a big havan like you do in my house, and call a pandit, and wear white clothes, and hang a big picture of my parents with a mala around them. Don't lie to me, you want to know, don't you?'
'Khushi...tumne pehle kabhi kyun nahin batayi? Why didn't you ever tell me before?'
'When would I have told you Arnavji?'
'But Khushi..I would've performed the barsi with you. I want to.'
'Nahin Arnavji. This is something I don't allow anyone to do, except for me. You want to know why I do it by myself? Because I know if I ever did it at home, Buaji, Jiji, Amma and Babuji would feel bad. They would feel upset, they would think I don't consider them my family. Aur vaise bhi, I prefer it this way. I only got to spend eight years with my parents. At least you got fourteen.' she said sarcastically.
She continued speaking, in that same tone of hers, that Arnav had never heard before. 'I do this ritual alone, because I know how my parents would've wanted it. I know how I want it. And I want it like this. Hamesha ke liye. I don't want to have to share my only memories, that I allow myself to think about on this one day. I want this day to myself, Arnavji. Can you understand that?'
She walked towards him, and grabbed hold of his hand, and turned around, his steps automatically following those of hers.
She spoke as they walked towards the highway 'You want to know why I come to this specific meadow? Because I have my most cherished memories of my Amma and Bauji here. After the accident, everything of theirs got taken away. I was left with nothing, nothing except some tokens of theirs and one or two pictures. I still kept faith in Devi Maiyya, knowing that even though she took away my Amma and Bauji, and she didn't leave me with many of their things, that in some way, she would still be looking out for me. You know the irony of it all? This is where they had their accident. The best memories of my life, in the same place, where one of the worst times of my life happened.' They had now made their way back to the highway, a few meters ahead of where Arnav's SUV was parked.
'The car had come out of nowhere. It was speeding and on the wrong side of the road. We were coming back from visiting their friends in Delhi. It was dark, and they didn't see the truck coming earlier. We were about to get out of the car, when Bauji looked up and saw the headlights of the car flashing. There wasn't enough time for all of us to get out, so he pushed me out and screamed at me to run towards the meadow. He tried helping my Amma out, who was pregnant at the time, might I add. I was hiding behind that tree, see that willow over there? I was there, and I heard my Amma's scream. I saw her protectively put her hands over her stomach, and my Bauji trying to cover her as best as he could as they had gotten out of the car and were trying to come towards me. But it was too late. The car already collided with ours, and in the explosion, my Amma-Bauji went too. I heard their screams. I saw the blood. And I couldn't do anything. I stood, behind that willow tree, alone, in the darkness, waiting until the police came. I was 8. I didn't understand that they had died. I didn't understand what dying meant. I thought they would get better, and that while they were getting better I was staying with my other family. I thought they would come get me. They promised, they wouldn't leave me alone. I know you never understood before. But now, can you understand Arnavji, why I am afraid of the dark, of speeding vehicles, of being alone?
Arnav didn't know when they had come back to the meadow, and when they had sat down in the grass, or even when Khushi was trying to show him something. The only thing he was aware of, were Khushi's words, ringing in his head. And for the first time in a long time, Arnav was immensely disappointed and ashamed of himself.
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hope you liked it, please leave me comments! more of Khushi's past & Arnav-Khushi to come up! 😊
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