Chapter 21
Love me tender,
Love me long,
Take me to your heart.
For it's there that I belong,
And we'll never part.
11.30pm Friday, February 8th 2013
Marquee Club, 10th Avenue, New York
The opulent, gaudy and tacky lights of the club washed over everyone as they continued to jump up in a trance-like haze. The Deejay had everyone charged up, screaming every once in a while to keep the pumping going. Everyone around was having a good time, in fact, it seemed like everyone had left their tensions at the coat check along with their belongings. The lights turned from bright pink, to a flashy neon color as the cirque du soleil performers started to perfume acrobatic tricks a few feet above the crowd. Khushi was nearly blinded by the lights going haywire around her and she blinked hard to focus her gaze onto her companion's retreating back. He had left to fetch them tequila shots and the rest of her entourage was somewhere in the crowd as well.
She turned around on the stool to stare at the wall display in front of her when she felt a hand on her back. Turning around, she glanced at a stranger beckoning to dance. Right over the stranger's shoulder, she spotted NK arriving with her drinks so she waved at him. When he was standing within a few metres she grabbed 2 shot glasses and downed the liquid.
"Yeah, baby!" NK whistled. Taking that as an encouragement (she had no idea in what sense) Khushi picked up another 2 shots and downed those as well. She instantly felt the alcohol hit that part of her head and she gave NK a lopsided smile. She then placed her hand in the stranger's hand who was still standing looking amazed at Khushi downing clear liquid in such a haste.
She let him guide her into the sea of people and placed her hands around his shoulders. Clearly enjoying her brazenness he quickly established a rhythm. Khushi closed her eyes in a temporary bliss and enjoyed the feel of another body against hers. It made her forget about that man. The one she wanted more than anything else. She enjoyed this feeling. The feeling of being wanted even though it was only for sexual purposes. It fulfilled the gap in her heart and the heartache given by the man she wanted. His thoughts were still swimming in her head and by no surprise his face instantly came into her head as the music dulled in her ears and she shook her head. She opened her eyes and grabbed the stranger by his collar and roughly pulled him closer. He was taken off guard and surprise filled his eyes. Khushi was already losing interest in him because he wasn't as good of a distraction; she left his collar and pushed him back, and walked towards her original seat to find her companion.
The clock had hit 12 by the time she retreated back. Her entourage of friends now surrounded her; they loudly sang happy birthday to her and tried their best to drown out the music by yelling as loud as they could muster. Khushi was overwhelmed at the extreme emotions hitting her. She was another year older; she missed her parents; she loved her friends; she missed Arnav. She tried her level best to keep her eyes from clouding but when she hugged NK she broke into a sob. "Thank you. All of you."
They then procured a scrumptious muffin with a lone candle flickering on it; Khushi blew the candle and took a huge bite out of the muffin and passed it along to others. In the next couple of hours the excitement of her turning another digit was over and they all found their respective corners. Khushi hugged them all and thanked them for coming along. The last person she hugged was NK, who was surprised at her sudden wish to leave for home.
"You want to leave? Your own birthday party?" he questioned her.
"I am not leaving it unattended and look at the time... it is close to 3 am. It's just that mom and dad are most likely calling on the home phone, leavening me birthday messages and I just wanted to have a sane moment to talk to them. The time difference would allow me to actually talk to them properly and not to their answering machines." She shrugged her shoulders and let them sag.
In response, NK kissed her forehead and said, "I understand... let's get you home then?"
Khushi nodded her head and they both headed towards the exit.
After reaching home, Khushi walked towards her apartment and turned around. NK had followed her to make sure that she was safely home. "Khushi, happy birthday once again... in the afternoon, we will go to your favourite restaurant and grab some food." He then handed her the birthday gifts that she had received from her friends. "I will give you my gift tomorrow. I want to see you fresh and sober tomorrow morning."
Khushi laughed at his reason and nodded her head. "Sounds like a plan," she chuckled. She faced the door and held onto the handle when he NK touched her arm halting her action.
"Are you okay?" Khushi's brows knotted in confusion. NK continued, "It seems like lately either I have lost it or you have been swinging on a pendulum of emotions," he commented honestly. Khushi felt uneasy. She clearly had mistaken her friend's uncanny abilities to notice things. Fighting the battle in which she wanted to spew everything out to him and yell out all her frustrations or leave everything unsaid, she chose instead to take a long, deep breath and replied, "I am fine, seriously... everything is fine."
Khushi did not want to divulge into the long line of truths that she had expertly hidden from her best friend. She just wanted to spend her birthday free of any drama and stress. But, she knew that she could never hide the truth from him. Ever. So she decided that after her birthday was over, she would tell him everything. She smiled at NK and kissed his cheek.
"Goodnight," he pecked her cheek and descended down the stairs. Khushi sighed and opened the door whilst juggling onto the gifts in her other hand. They were mostly bags from retail stores so it was easy to carry them through the door. She shut the door and slipped off her heels. She turned around and walked towards the living room yawning in the process. She was really beat and the alcohol was definitely adding to the drowsiness. She dumped the gifts onto the table and walked into her bedroom. After throwing her dress off and grabbing a large sweatshirt that said Harvard' on the front, she jumped into her bed.
She grabbed her cell phone and saw a lot of messages from her friends and family members including Anjali, Payal, Akash and the whole clan. Everyone had taken his or her time to send her a greeting. She smiled at the gesture. While scrolling down her contacts she noticed that her voicemail app showed a notification. She held the phone close to her ear and listened to the message.
"Hi, sweetheart... many happy returns of the day! We are so sorry that we couldn't get a hold of you but we will try later on. We are going to a benefit lunch tomorrow so we will try after that," said her mother's soothing voice. She heard some commotion on the other end and then heard her dad's voice, "Happy Birthday, baby! You are a fully grown woman now and we couldn't be more proud of you," he sniffled emotionally, "and we love you so much dear. Okay, I should hang up before I get really emotional. Your present will be there in the mail soon. We miss you sweetie, please visit soon. All right, have to dash now. Bye. And Happy Birthday Again!!"
Khushi grabbed her cell phone and hit the number stored under Home Sweet Chicago," and waited until she was connected with the voicemail machine. She sighed and quickly left her parents a message and cut the line. She snugged into her bed and shut the room's lights.
Exactly two minutes had passed since she had been shrouded in the darkness when the front door sounded a knock. She opened her eyes in an instant and sat on the bed. Uh, she was definitely not dreaming because someone was definitely knocking on the door. She threw the comforter off and strode towards her living room thinking that it might be NK.
She hit the switch and light flooded the entire living room as she skipped towards the door. She peeped through the hole and saw him. Arnav. She couldn't believe that he was standing on the other side of the door. Anger swelled higher and higher and she opened the door with such ferocity that Arnav's face drained some color. There he stood, silently with all his charm and sexy good looks and an unabashedly hot body. Okay, her thoughts were heading into the wrong directions. She was mad at him. She was furious with him.
Arnav could see her dark brown eyes light up with anger and frustration. Even though she was mad, and he knew that, but seeing her wearing his sweatshirt made him realize how much she turned him on. He knew that she would be angry with him and he was ready for her to explode at him. He wanted to explain to her what exactly he was doing. He was ready for the battle... he was ready for her to spew everything at him. His insides contorted in guilt and remorse. She didn't deserve what he made her go through today. Especially knowing that it was her birthday.
She bit her lip and her face contorted in confusion. "What... how long have you been standing there? How did you get in? When did you get in the building? But I didn't even buzz you..." she was now talking to herself.
After taking a quick breath she walked towards him to close the distance. Even with so much unsaid between them he still held a hold over her; his warmth was what she always craved. He was wearing his impeccable dark denim designer jeans, and a light blue collared shirt. As she got closer to him his previous actions that were somewhere in the corners of her mind came to light as well. She was hurt. How could he have done that to her?
"Nice of you to show up. You know I've been calling you all day... perhaps if you had checked that device sticking out of your pocket, you would know that." Her tone was acerbic and laced with hurt. She was trying her hardest to not fall for this man standing in front of her. She had vowed to herself. Was she already too late?
Arnav noticed how her eyes were rimmed with unshed tears and he cursed at himself. She hated seeing her cry and that too countlessly because of him. He enclosed the space between them and held her hands. "I am sorry," he whispered. "I f**ked up... I know that. I am so sorry."
Khushi was hurt by his actions but she also wanted to spend her birthday moments with him. Despite her better judgement she closed the space between them and hugged him. Lets face it, when it came to this man... her judgement usually was the first thing out of the window followed by her sane thoughts and clothes. Arnav breathed in her scent and kissed her hair. They untangled and her kissed her fully on the mouth savouring this moment while holding onto her face. It was a desperate kiss laced with unsaid emotions. "I am so very sorry, Khushi," he whispered against her mouth.
Khushi peered straight into his eyes and she could clearly see the regret. She let her tears wash her cheeks and clenched her teeth. Her sobs were threating to overpower her but she needed to say this to him. He needed to know this. He needed to hear this. "Don't ever be fickle with me. We had decided that we are not going to be fickle with each other; we were going to ride this whole thing out... together. And when we get rid of each other from our system, we tell each other. We don't leave each other hanging." She cupped his face, and she could see that his face was streaked with tired lines, and she knew that he had been beating himself about this the whole day. She continued as she gently made him gaze into her eyes, "I know you are dealing with stuff of your own, and I can see that," she stopped her sentence as she sensed that he was going to refute, "ssshhh... don't say anything. I am willing to wait as long as you want me to wait... when you are ready... come and tell me then. But, don't hide away. I want to be there to hold your hand... even if I don't get what's going on with you."
Khushi couldn't continue talking and broke down, sobbing quietly and gently sat on the floor in the midst of the door. Arnav's eyes stung with tears as he heard Khushi gently soothe him and then break down. He knelt down and picked her tiny frame in his arms, kicked the door shut with his foot and placed her tenderly on the couch. "Khushi, I am so sorry... it's just that I don't know how..." his voice croaked. Khushi gazed up and saw him kneeling in front of her on the floor. She wiped her tears and leaned forward to kiss his cheek.
"It's okay... whenever you are ready... not a moment before and not a moment after. I just want you to know that I am here for you," she smiled for him. He smiled back at her and she figured the heavy cloud of unsaid things was finally lifting away if only temporarily.
"Hey! Way to make a girl cry on her birthday!" he nudged him playfully and saw realization streak across his face. "Damn," he cursed himself. "I... this... come here!"
She obliged and melted into his arms as he proceeded to kiss her. "Happy Birthday, Baby! I promise that next time it will better." Khushi proceeded to kiss him until a thought came upon her. She halted their actions and spoke in an amusing voice, "So I am assuming that you didn't get me any presents? Geez! ...Next time I expect a nice present!"
"Khushi... you wound me!" he held onto his chest and feigned hurt. However, he was laughing the next second and he was joined with Khushi's cacophony laughter. "I'll be right back." He raised himself off the couch and left the apartment whereas Khushi just watched his back. A few minutes later, he knocked on the door. Khushi raised herself and walked to open the door.
"Arnav what is it? Is it a present? Let me see!" she lunged forward but Arnav's reflexes were too quick for her. He hauled her back into the living room on his shoulder and deposited her back on her previous spot. She could see that he was holding a small bag in his hand but its contents were not visible.
"Do you remember when we met?"
"Huh?" Khushi quizzically looked at him. "Yeah, at the wedding... when you saved me from free falling on the steps."
"No, sweetheart... not when we first acknowledged each other... when we met... I don't know how this happened. But coming here over and over again... I just couldn't ignore it."
Arnav fished in the small bag he was holding and procured a small, Tiffany coloured circular box. Khushi's brows knotted in confusion... so he got her jewellery and he was sort of being strange. She opened her mouth to quiz him when he opened the tiny box. Since the lights in the living room were dimmed the silver piece of jewellery glimmered and blinded Khushi.
Khushi softly held onto the jewellery, dangling it on her fingers. It was then the realization hit home. "This isn't new... it's m.."
"Yours," concluded Arnav.
Yes, it was hers. She clearly remembered the plane ride to San Francisco. She remembered littering the adjacent seat with her garbage. She remembered wearing it until it had to be polished. She remembered cherishing it and she clearly remembered losing it.
"How? This is mine. Look it has my initials and look a book... this is mine. I thought I had lost it. How did you?"
Khushi expectantly looked at Arnav for an answer. How did he come across it? Why is it in his possession?
Arnav smilingly took it for her, held onto her wrist and hooked it back where it belonged. Khushi could see that her bracelet had been polished neatly, glimmering like a new piece of jewellery along with the charms. "You added new charms."
She could see a London bus charm with a swirl of diamonds around it, a yellow New York taxi charm also encased around were tiny diamond, two tennis rackets with a ball stuck to one charm and the tennis racket's wires were meshed with tiny diamonds, a San Francisco cable car charm with diamonds meshed around it, The Chicago flag charm, a sexy, red stiletto charm with diamonds, a gold cap and tassel charm with a tassel's ends made of diamonds, and lastly, a Tiffany twisted heart charm in gold with diamonds outlining the heart.
"Care to explain everything?" she asked him.
"Always the impatient one, I see. But, you have to wait. I have something else too," he announced and left towards the kitchen. He came back and lit a candle and stuck it in a huge chocolate cupcake. "It was sort of hard to find a cake at the last minute and in the flavour you liked... but I promise tomorrow we can have a nice cake. I have already ordered it."
Khushi grinned and quickly sat in his lap. Arnav leaned against the couch while sitting on the floor. Khushi hugged him, pecked his cheek and blew the lonesome candle. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart." He offered her to take a bite from the cupcake and kissed her full on the mouth.
Later, as they both sat on the couch comfortably against each other, while Arnav kept on kissing her neck from behind, Khushi sighed happily. Was it possible to feel this much for someone whom she had just started to know? And funny thing was, she was not scared at all. She hooked her fingers through his hand when her gaze shifted back to her left arm. "Okay, I cannot wait any longer, please tell me how you managed to find it. I thought I had lost it."
"Do you remember when we almost met?" Khushi spun around on the couch and faced him. Was he referring to the night that she clearly remembered, well most of the night is clear before her hospital trip that is. They had never discussed it earlier and this was something that was unsaid between amongst many other things. It was like they both treaded on careful ground with each other because they didn't know how the other would react. They were like a mined ground... one wrong step and the damage would be irreparable.
"I mean the graduation day... when I was supposed to fly down and Anjali and my entire family were going to have dinner in San Francisco." He spun Khushi around and she found her spot between his legs, back against his chest, her entire body encased in his warmth. He continued, "I remember how furious Anjali was that I had missed dinner with her best friend, with whom I was specially meeting and flying out to attend the graduation." He laughed and Khushi felt his chest hum in vibration. She laced her fingers through his hand and let him continue.
"Before when we had flown Anjali out of America to London for her birthdays continuously and her best friend couldn't be there... because her friend did not have the extra money and she didn't want us to buy her a ticket, I was really curious. How could anyone say no to a free ticket to London? Every time I talked to Anjali she gushed about her best friend... it was like I knew she existed in some corner of the world... I just didn't really pay too much attention to it. It was something that was unsaid between our family... Anjali's best friend... she existed but I didn't know who she was, or what she looked like."
He paused and let her soak it all up. This was his side of the story of how he knew she existed however it was her turn to be oblivious about his existence. Sweet mother of god, thought Khushi... the universe had such an interesting twist to everything.
"I bet you anything everyone else knew who you were and what you looked like except me. I just knew you as Anjali's best friend. Anyway, Anjali insisted that I attend her graduation... I was going to be there too... I knew it was an important milestone for her, and I wouldn't have missed it. I caught a plane to San Francisco but we had to make an emergency landing in New York. Because of this slight delay, I missed her graduation and the entire ceremony. I still remember I was rushing through the airport. I had to take a private jet to San Francisco and they had ended up pushing me out through the take off gates. It was a busy day and somewhere in the crowd, I must have bumped into you. And that is how I ended up with this," he gently held her arm and caressed her bracelet.
Khushi had been transported back into those days. "I remember sitting in the plane and realizing that my bracelet was gone. I looked everywhere for it, on the plane, in my clothes, in my packed stuff... I just didn't find it. Funny, I remember playing with it during lunchtime... my parents had taken me out, and I was playing around with my wrist while reading my book during the ride back to the airport... They had given me my graduation present and I was too busy with it."
She spun around again and questioned it, "it could have been anyone's bracelet... you still kept it?"
Arnav caressed her cheek and spoke, "I know that. I remember when I got back to the hotel room, and I had diffused the bomb called Anjali, I saw it shining against my coat pocket. I had simply left it in my suitcase forgetting about it. I don't know why I just didn't throw it away. And then I kept coming here, and looking at your pictures and..."
"And you saw the picture with my hand shielding the camera and I was wearing it in the picture."
"Exactly."
"My, my, Sherlock Holmes... look at your sharp memory and deducing skills." She laughed and kissed his lips. She settled on his lap and placed her head against his chest. "It was catching dust in my old bag... my luggage had been man-handled when I demanded to take the private jet that day. My suitcase sort of broke and I did not really bother throwing away the bag. It had been sitting in my Paddington house."
"But you added so many new charms... expensive ones... I didn't really need that many," she spoke tenderly. She didn't mean to offend him but she was clearly taken away by her gift.
"They all represent you... see you have your old charms, and new ones... like the London bus because you visited there, the cable car because you studied in San Francisco, the Chicago flag from where you grew up, the tennis racket since you love playing squash and can really kick my ass, you love your heels so there's that, and you reside in New York so the cab, and the graduation since I had missed your graduation and also because you did graduate, and lastly... the sales lady insisted that the bracelet was incomplete without a Tiffany heart."
Overwhelmed at his thoughtfulness Khushi simply hugged him tighter. "Thank you so much... I love this so much. Best birthday present ever."
"I know that this can't possibly make up for so much that I have done to you... and so," he untangled them and got up from the couch. "Where are we going?" asked Khushi as she felt Arnav drag her into her room. She sat on her bed as Arnav opened her bedside drawer. She never really used the last drawer so when he opened it and took something out she was slightly baffled.
"You didn't think I was done... did you?"
"What is that?" Khushi asked him as she could see that he had something heavy in his hand. It was wrapped in a gold gift wrapper. "Seriously, you are spoiling me!" she complained.
"Hush, baby... just open it... they have been sitting her for a week." Like a kid on Christmas Khushi quickly opened her present. "No you didn't! NOOO!!"
"Arnav, this is..." she carefully opened the cloth holding the books together and then marvelled at those books. Jane Eyre... First Edition Vol I, II, III. "How... what ... These are... bloody expensive... what in the world.."
"Now you don't have to keep reading your bookstore version. You can read your very own, early edition books." Speechless Khushi simple nodded and hugged her books. Arnav waited as Khushi swam out of her spell and she carefully opened the book. "I love the smell of old books..." and she took a long whiff. As she flipped back to the first proper page the color from her face drained. Her eyes filled with tears as she read...
To my dearest daughter,
Like your name, Khushi, happiness, you are our happiness. You are the light of our lives and we love you beyond anything. You have made us so proud today, baby. This present is to show you that we are the happiest parents in the world.
So here is to the best love story of your lifetime, given to you by the people whose lifetime of love resides within you.
Your proud parents,
Garima and Shashi.
"How?" Khushi cried in happiness. "This was in my other book... how did you manage to?"
Khushi jumped and hugged Arnav whilst he caressed her hair and spoke against her ear, "I had your book, too. When I had accidentally taken things too far, I was stupid... for that I am so sorry... I cant even begin to explain how much hurt I must have caused you..."
Khushi peered into his eyes. She was ready to listen to his side of the story... and she was definitely ready to tell her side as well. "I remember when you left I had rushed back into your room but you had left your book behind. The rest of it was burned except the front few pages. I had my assistant make sure that this page was taken out and bended into this book."
"Thank you so much, Arnav. This means the world," Khushi sniffed and hugged him tighter. She then kissed him on lips with a soft pace. She was overwhelmed with emotions for this man in front of her. Gently, she slipped her sweatshirt off, and took him towards the bed. She was going to show him how much his actions meant to her. She pushed him further on her bed and continued to kiss him. When she took a break because of breathing, she helped him get rid of his shirt. His scent was slowly driving her up the wall, and so she kissed his chest. Every inch of it. She was marking him.
Soon the pace shifted and Arnav flipped them over, causing Khushi to be engulfed by his frame. They continued to take each article of clothing at a time never breaking their languid pace. When Arnav made his presence felt, Khushi welcomed it. She could feel that they were getting somewhere with each other. In the truest of sense she could feel that they were making love. And when they both were exhausted, they fell asleep against each other.
After a couple of hours, Khushi sensed something crawling against her skin. Ever so slowly she opened her eyes and saw Arnav's form. The sheets were tangled against his torso, his back hunched, his fingers caressing her arm. She smiled and nuzzled her pillow figring that he was still looking at the bracelet. A few seconds later she could see that he was not looking at the bracelet but he was tracing her scar... running fingers on it back and forth.
She raised her head from the pillow to take better look at his actions and then sunk back down on it. Realizing that Khushi was now awake Arnav spoke, "Tell me about it."
This was the first time he was ready to listen to it. Never before had he ever questioned her, and this was the first time Khushi realized that she wanted to tell him. "The first time I ever saw you was on the television. It was completely by mistake... I was watching a tv show when my dad happened to change the channel. He wanted to watch this big debate on BBC. After minutes of waiting, I was frustrated. Of course the debate never happened but you came on the news. Some coverage of one of your companies going public, and needlessly to saw I was immediately struck with this cupids arrow," she chuckled at her own stupidity. "I was 15 at that time," she continued into the wee early hours of her birthday morning.
"I know how stupid that sounds but my god I was struck! I tracked everything you did... news toppsy turvy stuff. But it seemed like you were not only the news favourite but a papparazi fav too. I remember how my friends and I used to discuss you as our favourite topic. I would talk about you like I knew you, like I met you everyday for supper," she confessed. "You know I obviously never thought too seriously about meeting you until I was in my last year of high school. I even wanted to declare business as my major..." and she heard him chuckle.
"Now that I think about it, my god, how childish we were back then. So when I found out that you were coming to Chicago for a merger, and that too in the same building where my dad worked, albeit on the 3rd floor... I really thought I had struck gold. Like the gods of fate wanted me to meet you. I geared up, stole my dad's key card and decided to independently do it on my own. It was a chilly November night and I had been grounded. I had ended up being asked to clean the school auditorium... well most of our class did and that did not sit well with my mother dearest... she's a school teacher. The very same night I had gone way past my curfew because we were at an after football game party... needless to say I was in trouble. But I didn't care," she paused to look at him but all she could see that he was too busy running his fingers over her scar but she could tell that he was still soaking all of it up.
"I made my way past the security but someone figured out and I had ditched the elevator on the top floor and ran towards the stairs, and beeline towards the top floor. I still remember those lights... in that big party hall... it nearly blinded me and I missed you. Almost. Then you came into perspective and everything sort of blurred out. But, no matter, that Khushi would have done anything to meet you. I heard the security behind me and so I ran into one of the offices and hid underneath a desk... and then," she took a deep breath. "Then, I heard someone come in. They were going about in way like they were going to do it... I could the man's shoes and then the girl spoke your name." When she said this Arnav halted his actions.
She continued, "I felt idiotic and betrayed so I ran out of there and outside. I called my friend and she was going to pick me up. I guess I was in a daze so when I walked into an oncoming car, I didn't realize it. And then you came out of the car and asked me to move... of course I didn't and so you dragged me out of the car's path. But of course stupid me lunged forward when the car moved. I was a little behind it so the driver didn't see me. I sort of tripped and ended up falling flat on the ground and a broken glass bottle pierced my arm. I don't remember the rest... but my friend told me that she was just in time to save me from falling unconscious and then I woke up in the hospital."
A silence descended upon them and Khushi waited for Arnav to say something. Anything. She was almost going to give up on an answer until she felt his head dip further and his lips touched her scar. She felt hot tears on her arm and she suddenly shot up. "I wish I could remember this meeting... the first time we ever faced each other. I don't even know how many times I have to apologise to you about the hurt I have caused you."
Khushi took his face into her arms and cradled his head against her naked frame. "How about the first and the last time... now. I was a kid back then... I was foolish."
"I am so sorry, Khushi... I wish I could turn the hands of the clock back and change things... so many things. How is it possible that I could hurt you this much without evening knowing..."
"You didn't know about it... so you didn't do it. Ssshhh I forgive you for everything." Khushi lay down with her head on his chest and welcomed the silence afterwards. But this didn't stop Arnav from kissing her arm over and over again. She just held him tightly with her free arm and he worshipped her like he was trying to kiss the hurt away. And even though he hadn't said anything about himself... the face that Khushi told him everything made her feel free.
"I was so scared of facing you at the mansion. That's why when I first saw you, I didn't know what to do and I just tripped on my two feet," she spoke softly. "I hated you," she chuckled. "I bet you probably hated me too!"
The silence enveloped them like a blanket and the traffic outside could still be heard. Khushi was about to drift into sleep when she heard him talk.
"My parents never had a good marriage. They just tolerated each other." Khushi stilled at his revelation. She didn't expect anything from him. "I guess I was the by product of their f**ked up relationship. But I'm glad my sister was untouched. She doesn't remember much. I do."
Another silence.
"Do you ever talk to her about it?" asked Khushi because she wasn't sure how to approach this topic. Mined ground.
"No, this topic is off limits and that's why she feels so protective of me. Funny thing I am the elder one but she behaves so," he said.
"That year after you left the house... I was reminded of my father... you know I was trying so hard not to become my father. I guess I ended up becoming him. And when you said those pitiful words... the dam broke."
"I didn't mean... I didn't.. it was a spur of the moment... words flown with no real meanings," sputtered Khushi as she raised her head to level with his face. She took a deep breath, "I am sorry."
"I got in bad. I ended up spoiling my relationships... I ended up addicted to painkillers and distanced myself from everyone. That addiction led me into an alcoholic phase. I was in it deep where I wouldn't even come out of my room. If you had seen me... you wouldn't have recognized the person I had become."
Khushi shook with his truth and hugged him harder and kissed his chest. He took this as his cue to continue on, "but I realized how much I had destroyed so when the first sane thought entered my mind after months... I clung onto it. I ran back home... to my family. And they helped me kicking the addiction."
"I heard rumours, and gossip was just going round the clock but after some incidents I stopped believing in the paparazzi," Khushi mumbled.
"Yeah," he snickered, "they probably had it right for the first time."
"My parents had a f**ked up relationship. They only cared about catering to the demands of the world... completely forgetting their own offspring... you know, it didn't even matter to them that we were alone and without proper guidance. I must have done some wild stuff when I was young... but it never mattered."
"I can't imagine what that must have been like," Khushi soothed him.
"I am glad... I wish no one finds out... I guess I didn't even realize how much their deeds had affected me. My mom was with someone else, and my dad was with someone else but to the world they were together. I had once brought home the trophy I had received and instead of listening to me, they were arguing about getting late to a social event. They would call each other horrible names, and just about everything went in that house. Then they just died."
Khushi cringed at his crudeness when referring to his parents. Having been surrounded by the most loving parents that she could ever possibly ask for, she didn't know how to react. She didn't have anything to draw experiences from in terms of this situation. "What happened to them?"
"Same old story... they were coming back from a social event when I had called them. My dad was still fighting with my mum and next thing you knew a drunk driver hit them. The driver tried his best to maneuverer but it just didn't work and..." he choked on his words.
"Ssshhh... it's okay. I am here for you. That's all over and gone. I am here," she soothed him as she kissed his forehead.
"I didn't even realize this all had built up inside me until it just exploded after the wedding," he continued.
"I am sorry, baby," Khushi expressed. "For everything."
"We are both sorry," Arnav whispered.
Another silence spread over them but this time it was less heavy and calmer.
"Is that the reason why you wake up earlier than me?" Khushi asked after a while.
"I don't ever want you to see my pangs... I have kicked the addiction but the pangs sometimes get to me. It's ugly... you don't need to..."
"I want to be there. Like I said... I am here for you. I don't care what you did... I just want to be with you." Khushi spoke the final words.
"It's weird you know, having you here... it's a soothing feeling that I have never experienced before." An exhausted Arnav, spoke. He yawned after having such an emotionally checked day.
"Me too, baby... go to sleep," Khushi told him.
In a matter of seconds Arnav was fast asleep. Khushi reflected on what Arnav told her. They had scratched the surface and she knew his scars ran too deep. But this was progress. It was really weird that they had both caused hurt to each other without even knowing it. It seemed like they only existed for each other. Hadn't she read something that the people you hurt the people you love the most. So did that mean she loved him?
She looked over at his form, sleeping peacefully for the first time ever since she had been with him. The moonlight washed over them through the window of her room. She knew her answer before she asked the question. Yes, she loved him. She had fallen in love with this man over and over again.
The first time she thought it was love, then hate, then confusion, then hate, then acquaintances, then friendship and now back to love. It was full circle. She had come to a full circle with him. She knew that she wanted to guard her heart from him but she was already a little too late. Her heart had given up the battle before she even put on the armour.
She could see how broken he was... even more than he lead on. She needed to help him, balm his scars. She didn't want to give up on them... and she would fight tooth and nail if she had to. This man was hers. And she was going to make sure he knew. She didn't want to suffocate him these onslaught of emotions. She would wait until the right moment but that didn't mean that she had to wait with her actions.
He had gone through so many lengths just to make her birthday special. Her books were still siting on her nightstand beside her. She loved how without any intentions to claim her presents as his, he let her parents come into them, her old friends, her old self, her new self... never imposing himself. He didn't even know whether she would accept his apology yet he had still gone through lengths. The books had been sitting here for a week without her knowing about them. Tears rimmed her eyes again. Not an ounce of selfishness existed within him.
Not being able to open her eyes any longer she too drifted into a content sleep.
~~0O0~~
10.30am Friday, February 8th 2013
West Village Apartments
Khushi opened her eyes to find Arnav's form hovering over her face, inches away from her lips.
"Happy Birthday, baby."
His lips descended upon her and she sighed in pure elation. Was there any better to wake up than this? She let Arnav kiss her softly but then pushed him off of her. "Thank you, and I still have morning breath," she complained.
"Sweetheart, I don't care... come here," he pulled Khushi towards him and she fell right on his lips. She moaned as he tried to kiss her protests away. "Arnav, I am suddenly aware that I am naked," she complained.
"That's the best part," he mumbled against her swollen lips. He lowered her down on the bed and started to trail down her neck. Khushi was now charged and she pulled him into her. Right when Arnav was about to move further down a knock sounded on the door. Arnav raised his head to look into her eyes. Khushi sighed and spoke, "Well go open the door."
"No, baby... let's just leave it," he suggested but Khushi wasn't having any of it.
"Go!"
"Fine, alright..." he mumbled and threw on his jeans and walked bare-chested out of her room. In the mean time Khushi fished around for his shirt and slipped into it. Another knock sounded on the door and she hurriedly pushed on her underwear and ran towards the door.
"What are you doing here?" a very familiar sound echoed in the living room. Immediately, Khushi ran towards the door. The sight in front of her eyes halted her steps. Her friend stood on the other side of the door, roaring with anger, coffee and croissants in hand. "Shit," she whispered.
"NK." Khushi dashed towards the door and pushed Arnav out of the way. "I can explain... seriously just come inside... I was going to tell you. I swear... NK please listen," she begged him.
"I don't think that's necessary. I can already see what's going on," huffed NK in a rather hurtful manner. Khushi didn't realize how much NK would be hurt until now. She was about to grab his arm and haul him inside when she turned around and sped down the hall and disappeared down the steps. All Khushi could now do was feel guilt and it was the shittiest feeling in the world. She hugged Arnav whilst watching the now empty hallway.
Indian Idol 15
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