"Arnav, wake up." He heard a familiar voice trying to awaken him from his deep slumber.
"Ma!" he protested, his eyes half closed. "Five minutes." He then felt her lips caressing his forehead with a warm loving kiss as she whispered into his ears. "Happy Birthday! My baby is a big boy now. Six years old. I have something for you. If you don't wake up, I'll give it to your Di." At that instant, he was up in a jiff, his eyes wandering everywhere around the room for his presents.
"Where is it?" the little Arnav asked with big round eyes, a huge infectious smile threatening to take over his face.
"Close your eyes." His mother ordered. He quickly held his hands tightly over his eyes, and waited eagerly, all the while hearing his mother chuckle with laughter. And then he felt a small box being kept on his lap.
"Can I open now?" he asked excitedly.
"Yes, Arnav. You may open your eyes."
A silver coloured wrapped box was in front of him. He took the box in his hands and shook it, trying to guess the contents inside the box. Not able to figure it out, he quickly proceeded to tear open the wrapper to reveal his favourite red coloured toy car that he had seen in the toy store last week. That day he had insisted on buying it. But his mother had refused. He had been angry at her for the next two days, throwing tantrums at her or refusing to eat his meals, giving her a hard time.
His eyes widened with absolute surprise followed by immense happiness as he proceeded to take out the car and play with it. "Wow! It's so awesome!" he exclaimed out.
What he had failed to notice was his mother's eyes moistened with tears of absolute happiness, seeing her son happy.
o0o
"Arnav, it's just one small tiny injection. You won't even realise the prick." His mother coaxed him to let the doctor give him an injection at the hospital.
"No Ma, I don't like it. It hurts and I'm scared." The seven year old Arnav cried out in terror.
"But if you don't take the injection, your fever won't subside. Don't worry, I'm beside you." She reassured holding on to him tightly, letting the doctor do his work. The little Arnav buried his face into his mother's chest, terrified of the needles.
"See, it's done." His mother said after the doctor was done. Arnav looked up her at face, his face stricken with tears. "You are going to be alright now. You have been a very brave boy, haven't you?" she asked cupping his face, wiping away the tears from his face.
He simply nodded his face, cuddling his mother, finding solace in her. But what he had failed to notice was the silent tears in his mother's eyes, torn apart seeing her child seething in pain but all the while convincing herself that it was for his own good.
o0o
"Arnav, it's time for dinner." He heard his mother's voice from the kitchen.
"Ma, I'm busy." He replied back, burying himself in his books, preparing for the exam next day. He wasn't feeling even a bit hungry due to exam stress and he had hoped that she wouldn't press the matter.
But after few minutes, he had heard her approaching his bedroom, the melodious sound of her anklets announcing her arrival. Suddenly, he felt her hand brushing aside the hair on his forehead, as she took a seat beside him.
"Arnav, if you want to do well in your exams, you must have your dinner. Otherwise, you will fall sick tomorrow." His mother had tried to persuade him. But he was in no mood to listen. After futile persuasion, she had left the room, only to return back with a plate in her hand.
"Eat this. I'll feed you." She had said stuffing a piece of roti to his mouth, while he had grumbled and protested but finally relented to it. She had seen to it that he had eaten every ounce of the meal.
She had even arrived to his room every five minutes to check if he had needed something. But he had only told her rudely to not disturb him.
That day he had failed to understand the genuine concern of a mother for her child.
o0o
He had heard voices rage behind closed doors. The violent noises of things getting thrown brutally on the floor, interspersed with words that sounded terrible to his young ears, but knew that they meant something bad. A minute later, he had seen his father storm out of their bedroom, banging the door behind him.
He had seen his parents fight before. But everytime he did, he had felt scared and terrified.
He slowly walked towards the door, peeping in from a corner, to find his mother sitting on the bed with tears streaming down her eyes. He had naturally felt tears rushing into his own eyes, seeing her cry. Walking towards her, he had held her hand and innocently asked, "Ma, why are you crying?" He had wiped away her tears with his tiny hands.
"Nothing Arnav." She had consoled him pulling him tightly into a fierce hug. "I'm not crying. See." She had showed her face, instantly wiping the tears from her eyes.
He hadn't known what else to say at that moment. All he had said was, "Even if Papa doesn't love you, I love you." And embraced her. What he hadn't known was the impact of those words on her heart. She had been given a reason to live, for her children. A reason to smile when everything seemed lost.
o0o
"And then they lived happily ever after." His mom concluded her night routine of story telling. "Now go to sleep. It's 10:30 pm." She ordered pulling the blanket over his body.
"But Ma! I want to hear another story. " The little Arnav protested pushing the blanket away from his body, snuggling closer into his mother's arms.
"No, you've got to go to school tomorrow." She tried persuading him. But there was no use.
"I want another story. Otherwise, I won't sleep." He had given his ultimatum, hoping that she would agree.
"Fine. So once upon a time..." she had begun another story, cradling him in her arms, sleeping beside him. He had happily listened to it and dozed off beside her. Amidst this, he had forgotten that his mother, who was tired after slogging the entire day, just wanted to drop down on her own bed and slumber. He hadn't valued the sacrifices that she made just to make him happy and comfortable, giving up her own needs for her child's.
o0o
He sat in one corner of the living room, looking outside the window, with his knees folded to his chest, his head lowered. He was bored and had no one to play with since his Di was sick and his best friend had refused to come home that day.
Suddenly he had felt her warm hands on his back, while she came and sat beside him.
"Arnav, why are you looking so sad and gloomy?" she had enquired anxiously.
"Ma, I don't have anyone to play with me." He had replied back.
"Is this why my baby is sad? I'll play with you." She had suggested back excitedly. "Go, get your badminton racquet."
"Really?" he had asked back enthusiastically.
All his gloominess had vanished in an instant, as he ran towards his room to get the stuff. That day they had played for hours in their garden outside. They had so much of fun that he had found a new buddy in her. But he had missed out the excitement in his mother's voice, who was reliving her own childhood, playing with her son.
o0o
He had rushed into his favourite toy store in the mall, without informing his mother, while she had been busy with her shopping. He had sat playing with the toys in one corner of the shop, hoping that his mother wouldn't return back soon and that he would be able to stay forever in his favourite shop. It had been like his dream had come true.
After what seemed to be like an hour, he had suddenly felt someone yank his arm. Turning around, he had seen his mother seething with enormous fury.
"Where did you go without informing me?" she had blared angrily at him. "Do you know I've been searching for you for the past one hour in the entire mall?" And with that she had snatched the toy in his hand and dragged him out of the store, scolding him all the while.
"You have become irresponsible Arnav. Next time, I will never take you along for shopping." She had threatened him.
"But Ma, I was just playing. Why are you scolding me for that?" he had shot back at her angrily. But she hadn't listened to him. The next two days that had followed, he had been very angry with her, even assuming that she didn't love him anymore and that she was transforming into a mean mom.
But he had failed to notice the panic and worry behind those stern eyes at realising that her child may have been lost or snatched away from her forever. He had misunderstood her worry for her anger.
o0o
He had seen the dead body of his mother being brought into the house, covered with a white shroud. Nothing around him was making any sense. He couldn't believe what he saw in front of his own eyes.
She had been lying in front of him, lifeless. Pale. Haunted by the ghosts of the dead.
There was no sound of the melodious tinkling of her anklets, nor the sweet fragrance of her hair that soothed him to sleep.
"Ma... Please wake up. Don't leave me and go. I need you. " he had cried, wailed, screamed, shaking her lifeless body frantically, hoping that she would respond back, hoping that she would get up and comfort him. Reassure him that she wasn't going to abandon him.
"I'm sorry for everything I've done to hurt you. I promise I will obey every single word that you say. I promise that I won't fight with you. But please open your eyes. Please say my name." He had begged for his life to be returned.
Arnav...
But all he could do now was hold on to her memories.
That day he had realised what it meant to light up the pyre of your own mother with your own hands, bidding her farewell. He had realised how cruel your life could be, to see your mother burning to ashes.
To know that she was no more around you. That you could no more see her, hear her, feel her.
That she was gone...
Years later now, Arnav sat in his room, clutching the photo of his mother to his chest. Holding on to her dearly. She had left behind a vacuum in his life that no one could fill. Every night, he would still dream of being laid down to sleep by her caressing touch. Every time he was hurt, he would hope that she would come running towards him to soothe away his pain. When he seemed lost in this insensitive, ruthless world, he hoped that she would come to find him and take him away with her. Every birthday, he hoped that she would wake him up with a warm kiss and that he could hug her.
He wanted to thank her for every single sacrifice she had done for him. He had never understood her significance then. But now he was repenting.
He wished he could turn back the time. Live in his past.
But it was futile.
She would never return. He felt a lone tear escape from his eyes, as he struggled to come into terms even after years of her death.
But he clearly knew one thing in his mind.
His mother was irreplaceable.
A mother's importance is only realized when she ceases to exist in your life.
How was it? Leave your comments. If it isn't great like you expected, then my sincere apologies.
For those waiting for an update on my FF, sorry for the delay. I'm too busy right now to update it. Will try my best soon.
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