This update is dedicated to my friend SHOKOFA who has been a real sweetheart... So Shokofa, as promised, this ones for you!!
Chapter three
"It is hard to wait for something when you know it's already missed.. it is harder to give up something when that is all you live for...
Arnav made no move to help Khushi get into the wheel chair. He couldn't have moved even if his life had depended on it. Innumerable emotions flooded through him holding him in a state of shock. His mind reeled and his face grew pale. His fingers dug painfully into his palms as he clenched them into fists hoping it would calm down the all enveloping fear that was threatening to engulf him...the fear of losing her.. forever. The fear of her going to a place where he couldn't search.. where he couldn't follow!!!
Khushi was looking at them uncertainly as if afraid of their reaction.. afraid of rejection. Arnav looked at Di who was as pale as he was and was staring at khushi with a frozen horror. He wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead with his fingers that still shook terribly. He put his hands inside his pockets where he clenched them into fists again to stop them from shaking.
"H-How did this happen khushiji?"Anjali asked
"Accident... two years ago.. I'm fine di.." Khushi said smiling sadly. With a sigh, she wheeled towards them coming to stop right in front of Arnav whom she knew needed the reassurance the most. She held his hands in both of hers and raised her eyes to his
"I'm fine Arnavji." She said answering the question that he couldn't voice out aloud, reading his mind as she always had. Arnav blinked. For once the mask of indifference left his face leaving him strangely vulnerable. Leaving the pain etched on every line of his face. He lowered his eyes and concentrated on her hands that were tightly clasped in his for he was afraid that had he looked into her eyes at that moment, he would break down completely.
'It must have been a major accident to leave her wheelchair bound', he thought. A shudder passed through him at the thought again that Khushi could have easily died. Left him just the way his mother had while he would have gone on living hoping against hope that she would return.. not knowing that she had exited the world. He gulped trying to come in terms with so much. He pulled his hand from hers not being able to bear the guilt and fear that was weighing him down. He had let go of her so that she could find happiness.. and yet she had suffered... His prayers for her happiness never made a difference, he realized,.. Her happiness and safety was the only thing he had asked for and god hadn't granted him that.
She wheeled ahead of them asking them to follow. Feeling as if he had aged ten years within the past ten minutes, Arnav followed the two most important women in his life.
The cottage was plain but it was well furnished. As simple as it looked on the outside, the interiors were luxurious. Arnav heaved a sigh of relief that at least on the financial front Khushi was secure but along with the relief came the hollowness that Khushi was no longer his. He knew a hope had died today. A hope of her coming back to him. He brushed a tear that slid down his cheeks. Tears were all he had left. Tears, pain and memories.
Anjali handed Arnav his clothes and Khushi guided him towards the bathroom. As if destiny was hell bent on reminding them about their past, they both ended up grabbing the door knob of the bathroom together. Hands stilled and so did time and Arnav looked into Khushi's eyes, both remembering the days when they fought for the bathroom in the initial days of their marriage. Khushi lowered her eyes and pulled her hand back trying to calm her jittery nerves his touch had created. She gave him an uncertain smile and wheeled towards the guestroom knowing that he was staring at her retreating back.
She was chatting with Anjali as they both unpacked the bags and Anjali was telling her about the family she had left behind. Khushi tried avoiding the questions about Jiya or her accident but finally Anjali gave up beating around the bush and got straight to the point.
"Khushi, how did this accident happen.. what have the doctors said?"
"Di.. relax.. I'm fine... I don't really want to talk about the accident.. I don't think I can."
Anjali nodded.. "I understand"
Khushi heaved a sigh of relief. She was glad Anjali hadnt probed into the matter. Instead she helped Khushi to sit on the bed next to her. Khushi looked into di's tearful eyes, seeing the regrets of the past clearly in their depths. She bent down till her head was resting on anjali's lap and let her stroke her hair. They didn't speak for a long time both lost in their own thoughts... they didn't need words to define the comfort they found in each others presence. They just sat in silence as their mind wandered in the past... to the time when they had lost everything.
3 years 6 months ago
She ran along the hospital corridors, tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't bear to see the accusing look in his eyes nor could she bear to see him broken. But as much as she wanted to hold him and tell him that di would be fine, she couldn't bear the voice of his heart that clearly told her that she was the last person he wanted to see.
She turned around when she felt a hand on her shoulder, surprised to find Payal with a determined look on her face. Her eyes were red from crying and yet they held a courage she had never seen before. She put both her hands on Khushi's arms and said
"Khushi, right now Arnavji is far too worried about Di to deal with you but do you think he will spare you? He is so blinded with lies that he will never see the truth and there is Shyam who is not to be trusted."
Khushi felt her heart break all the more knowing that the more she tried to find the way out of her web of problems the more tangled she got.
"I know jiji.. but Arnavji has to understand the truth.. he has to know that I love him and..."
Payal shook her head, trying to talk sense to her little sister
"Khushi we have discussed this before. If he was to believe you he would have done so ages ago. The truth will not be hidden for long but I'm more worried about the horrors that you will have to face in the meanwhile. And then there is Shyam who is so obsessed with you that he can do anything."
She gave her sister a little shake trying to protect her from her husband, from the snake, from herself..
"Khushi, just leave delhi... Go to Lucknow.. to chachi's place and tell her everything... she will arrange something for you."
"But jiji..." khushi protested
"You need to do this... I will handle everything here. I will take care of di. I will make everything right but khushi you have to understand, love is nothing without trust. Arnavji has only loved his sister. And even if he realizes your innocence, he will stay with you out of guilt and not love.."
Payal dug her hand inside her handbag and pulled out a parcel wrapped in white cloth.
"I have taken 25000 from Akashji's safe and here is my jewelry. You understand why you have to do this, don't you khushi?"
Khushi nodded, her heart heave with the pain of unrequited love.
"Khushi, we both hunted for love at wrong place... ours was a fairy tale without a happy ending.. without a happily ever after... but we will find our way out Khushi."
Khushi put her arms around her sister and hugged her fiercely knowing this was difficult for her too.. she was fighting her own battles with jijaji. Khushi knew know that she had reached towards the end of the road and she had to walk on a new path...probably alone. She broke apart and gave her sister a watery smile..
"Now before someone notices you, just leave.."
They looked at each other for a short while...their gazes sending all the love and best wishes before Khushi turned around and walked...disappearing into the dark...
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The path was a familiar one and yet this path of her life was untrodden- Khushi kumari gupta had never walked alone.
It was a desterted road dimly lit by the golden glow of streetlamp and the moonlight.. A car or two would zoom by, honking loudly and then swearing at the girl who walked uncaring of she was run over by the vehicles.
Khushi walked as if in automation, mind reeling... the shock of the events leaving her numb, protecting her from the shattering pain. After six long months of searching for answers to the endless questions, today she had all the answers and each of them shattered her world.. She walked not knowing where the paths led her.., not caring if they led nowhere. A loud horn of a car made her turn, only to be left blinded by the sharp light of the vehicle and a loud screeching noise . She waited for the pain but instead she found herself bodily moved out of harm's way by a pair of strong arms. She clung to her savior burying her head in his chest as she heard the driver yell at them.
"If your wife is suicidal, get her treated. It wouldn't have been my fault had she been dead today and I'd have to pay the price all the same." Said the angry driver before driving away.
Breathing heavily Khushi let go of the stranger and looked up only to find her self looking up in a pair of arresting brown eyes .Khushi took a step back and looked at him properly. He had a pale face and a lean built just like Arnav and just like the laad governor his body was deceptive for he had lifted her off her feet effortlessly. He had a handsome face but Khushi found herself looking into his eyes.. he had beautiful and yet cool calculating arresting eyes.
"Watch where you are going...Do you want to get yourself killed?" he asked angrily
"I-I didn't see the car.."
"This is not a safe place for midnight wanderings... where do you come from?" he asked
"No where..."
"Where are you staying?"
"No where."
"And are you going no where?"
"No where."
He sighed running his hand in his hair tiredly. He held her hand and led her towards a white BMW. Khushi knew she shouldn't trust this stranger no matter how handsome he looked, but she walked with him not caring if he hurt her. She watched him unlock the car and get behind the wheel and opened the passenger door.
" You are not in a proper frame of mind.. hop in.." he said
"I don't even know you."
He looked at her again, his eyes intense as ever.. it was as if he was looking into her soul... reading her heart.
"I guess that's because we are meeting for the first time. Look, miss nobody from nowhere, I don't collect waifs and strays but it would play on my conscience if something happens to you. So for the sake of my sanity, hop in"
Khushi got in reluctantly sitting as far as possible from this stranger. She fastened the seat belt as she watched his hands as he expertly drove the car. She noticed the wedding ring. She turned to him, eyes flashing.
"You are married." She accused. He didn't reply except raising an eyebrow and taking a sharp turn causing her to jerk in her seat.
"Why is it that when I'm caught in such situations, only married men end up rescuing me." She said irritably remembering the way Shyamji had rescued her only to ruin her completely. She looked at the man who was ignoring her monologue, lost in his own thoughts.
"Wouldn't your wife mind if you take me to your house at this hour.. if its your house you are taking me." Khushi asked again trying hard to make him talk. This man seemed to like silence as much as that Laad governor did. The thought of Arnav send a sharp pain piercing through her heart. She looked out of the window trying hard to control her tears when she heard him speak
"Are you always this suspicious or is it just with me? My wife passed away two years ago... and as much as I knew her, she wouldn't have minded... She trusted me."
That shut her up. Trust... it was the lack of trust that had shattered all her dreams. She looked at this strange person once again. He had kept his eyes pointedly on the road and yet she could see an ocean of unendurable grief in them. She could see how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel...as if he was trying to get a hold of the emotions that the memory of his dead wife had evoked. Till now khushi had thought her own pain was bad and now she met someone whose pain was worse. She had never seen a lonelier man...
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Arnav stepped put of the bathroom drying his hair. He saw Khushi being wheeled towards him by di...both of them smiling brightly. Khushi handed di her clothes as his sister got into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Khushi smiled at Arnav, her heart bursting with the love that had only managed to grow with time. Their gazes locked trying to make up for the lost time. Arnav extended his hand and brushed his fingers against her cheeks making her breath race.
"Khushi.." he whispered huskily..
Khushi pressed her fingers at his lips...she didn't want him to say more.. she didn't want to hope...too much had happened in these years and she knew no matter how much she wanted she couldn't walk back on the trodden paths again..
There was a noise in the background and she could hear Jiya and Mrs Ahuja arranging the table for tea. She quickly lowered her hand noticing the wet towel in his
"Arnavji your towel is wet. I'll find you a fresh towel... Jiya!!!" Khushi called out. Her daughter came running to her seconds later.
"Give uncle a fresh towel." She said watching as Jiya held Arnav's hand and led him to another room, her heart aching...
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Arnav followed the little girl who was dragging him by hand the only thought that ran around his mind was that she could have been his.. Should have been his.. She took a fresh towel and made him sit on the bed. When he extended his hand to take the towel from her, she gave him a huge grin the earlier shyness gone. She jumped up on the bed and began rubbing his hair all the while telling about herself, her school, her friends... she was so like Khushi he thought looking at Jiya, his heart twisting with regret. When she was done she took his hand again
"Will you promise to take me for a long walk once the rain subsides?" she asked him cutely
"I promise" he said
And just like that Arnav knew that this little girl was not just holding his hand.. she was gradually holding his heart.
The ring of the door bell had Jiya running towards the living room. Arnav silently followed her. Khushi was already in the process of opening the door. He was about to move towards his room when he heard Khushi's panicked voice
"Yash!!!!! what happened???"
He turned towards the door to see a handsome man in his early thirties step in wearing a white shirt that was covered in blood. Jiya stood next to khushi, holding on to her mother's chair. Mrs ahuja let out an audible gasp
"Ladies don't panic.., I'm all right.. Khushi I'm okay it's just a scratch."
"You call this a scratch?" she asked looking at his blood soaked shirt.
"Just a few bruises.. Now will you let me enter and we can have this inquisition later... really need a bath.."
Khushi moved aside as the man stepped in. He bent down and kissed Jiya on the cheek saying "hello princess". He saw Arnav standing frozen, towel in hand. "And who is this?" he asked with a smile straightening up
Arnav walked ahead his heart sinking. Mechanically he extended his hand towards Khushi's husband
"Arnav singh Raizada." He said
"Yash" the other man replied "Yash Ahuja"
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All I'll say is don't jump to conclusions.. this is not a love triangle...and whether this person is Khushi's husband or not will be revealed in the next update...
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