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Chapter 1-Because I FeelYour Presence Here...Mom!
It was one another normal day for me. Oh Yeah, a boring day. With my glasses in front of my eyes, hiding the sparkle of my life. Everytime I Got up in the morning & looked in the mirror, I used to see my dazy eyes. I Didn't like them, but my dad always said, that I resemble my mom. And that is why he loves me so much. I Had green almond eyes, unfortunately, many people didn't notice my eyes because of my big square-shaped dark spectacles. The best compliment I Have ever got in my life.. "You are a good person.".
My dad said this. And it means my world to me. Rather than getting a compliment which says that "Oh-My, You're a pretty women!" I would always prefer a compliment saying & telling me that how great I am, and beauty isn't everything.
I never cared about looking beautiful. And if you ask me that why am I a librarian? Well I...
"Good Morning Darling, Time to get up & face the world!" Oh, that's my dad. Yeah! Face the world? The only thing which I Never wanted to do.
"Yes Dad. I'm already up!" Was my sleepy reply. I Runned down the blanket over me and looked at my dad wearing a chef white cap on his head, with a tray in his hand, and Jeez, the smile that he passed at me! My Funny Cuddly Dad.
"Well, I can see! Oh C'mon. How can you be such a sleepy head on such a beautiful day." He said while getting up and pulling the curtains down. My eyes pinched when the beautiful sunrays fell on my delicate eyelids. When my dad saw the un-easiness of which I Couldn't bear such bright light. He commented, "The Charm Of Nature Is Unbearable!" Oh! Not again, My dad & his Un-Imaginable meaningless philosophies.
"Oh C'mon Dad! You & your meaning-less philosiphies!" I wore my soft cotton night slippers and went towards the bathroom. I Took a shower, came out, and dressed up for the breakfast. It took me hardly 10 minutes! Yeah! 10 minutes! Sorry I Don't have time to apply a lip-gloss!
I wore a simple loose denim jeans, with a loose T-shirt. My hairs tied in a bun, with my glasses facing the life & protecting me, and my 7 year old brown bag in which I Carried my favourite sugar-muffins. I came down.
"Oh! Not Again!" My dad said. "Today the library is closed I Guess."
"Yeah I know dad!" I Said as I Sat down to have my breakfast, "But I need to attent Mr.Murela Kims Annaul day speech. We have the annual meeting in our Great Library in less than a weak!" I Exclaimed.
"First of all, "He said while he stuffed another piece of bread in his mouth, "You never say that a Library is Great. And what does it has to do with you? And I Always used to say, and still saying. Give Up this job! It's of no use. Silenting the Teenage Brats from 9 to 5! Coming home tired, watching TV, Reading boring biographies, and cleaning up your room won't help you in your life! Don't you get bored?" He asked.
I Had no answer to that.
"Look, I know why you like to work in that library so much Ok? I Mean...You just... Just live your life sweetheart. Don't spoil it just after a memory of someone. I Loved your mom too! But..." He said.
"Dad.. You know that working in that library makes me feel good. I Feel her presence. Which I Never get to feel usually!" I replied, trying not to make any eye-contact with him.
"But don't you get bored?" He asked, I Looked up, his eyes knew my answer, and so I never replied. I took my brown Muffin-Filled bag and got up from the chair. "And still you want to do it?" He continued.
"It makes me happy!" I Said.
"Well if it does, then why Do I Feel that I haven't seen that twinkling smile on your face from the past 3 whole years! What are you doing with your life?" He got serious.
"Dad! We always start this topic every morning & end up with a fight. So please! I Like it & that's why I'm doing it. As Simple as that!" My voice comanded him not to reply me back then.
There was some strange silence for seven seconds and I Looked at him. I could see him smiling, and that smile gave me my support. He hugged me & I Hugged him back. Nothing is as best as the hug that a daughter shares with her dad. That makes her feel safe.
"Whatever that makes you happy!" He smiled at me & waved me a bye. I Smiled back. I Came out of the house & closed the door behind. Stood there for a second and thought... Does it actually makes me happy?
My dad said this. And it means my world to me. Rather than getting a compliment which says that "Oh-My, You're a pretty women!" I would always prefer a compliment saying & telling me that how great I am, and beauty isn't everything.
I never cared about looking beautiful. And if you ask me that why am I a librarian? Well I...
"Good Morning Darling, Time to get up & face the world!" Oh, that's my dad. Yeah! Face the world? The only thing which I Never wanted to do.
"Yes Dad. I'm already up!" Was my sleepy reply. I Runned down the blanket over me and looked at my dad wearing a chef white cap on his head, with a tray in his hand, and Jeez, the smile that he passed at me! My Funny Cuddly Dad.
"Well, I can see! Oh C'mon. How can you be such a sleepy head on such a beautiful day." He said while getting up and pulling the curtains down. My eyes pinched when the beautiful sunrays fell on my delicate eyelids. When my dad saw the un-easiness of which I Couldn't bear such bright light. He commented, "The Charm Of Nature Is Unbearable!" Oh! Not again, My dad & his Un-Imaginable meaningless philosophies.
"Oh C'mon Dad! You & your meaning-less philosiphies!" I wore my soft cotton night slippers and went towards the bathroom. I Took a shower, came out, and dressed up for the breakfast. It took me hardly 10 minutes! Yeah! 10 minutes! Sorry I Don't have time to apply a lip-gloss!
I wore a simple loose denim jeans, with a loose T-shirt. My hairs tied in a bun, with my glasses facing the life & protecting me, and my 7 year old brown bag in which I Carried my favourite sugar-muffins. I came down.
"Oh! Not Again!" My dad said. "Today the library is closed I Guess."
"Yeah I know dad!" I Said as I Sat down to have my breakfast, "But I need to attent Mr.Murela Kims Annaul day speech. We have the annual meeting in our Great Library in less than a weak!" I Exclaimed.
"First of all, "He said while he stuffed another piece of bread in his mouth, "You never say that a Library is Great. And what does it has to do with you? And I Always used to say, and still saying. Give Up this job! It's of no use. Silenting the Teenage Brats from 9 to 5! Coming home tired, watching TV, Reading boring biographies, and cleaning up your room won't help you in your life! Don't you get bored?" He asked.
I Had no answer to that.
"Look, I know why you like to work in that library so much Ok? I Mean...You just... Just live your life sweetheart. Don't spoil it just after a memory of someone. I Loved your mom too! But..." He said.
"Dad.. You know that working in that library makes me feel good. I Feel her presence. Which I Never get to feel usually!" I replied, trying not to make any eye-contact with him.
"But don't you get bored?" He asked, I Looked up, his eyes knew my answer, and so I never replied. I took my brown Muffin-Filled bag and got up from the chair. "And still you want to do it?" He continued.
"It makes me happy!" I Said.
"Well if it does, then why Do I Feel that I haven't seen that twinkling smile on your face from the past 3 whole years! What are you doing with your life?" He got serious.
"Dad! We always start this topic every morning & end up with a fight. So please! I Like it & that's why I'm doing it. As Simple as that!" My voice comanded him not to reply me back then.
There was some strange silence for seven seconds and I Looked at him. I could see him smiling, and that smile gave me my support. He hugged me & I Hugged him back. Nothing is as best as the hug that a daughter shares with her dad. That makes her feel safe.
"Whatever that makes you happy!" He smiled at me & waved me a bye. I Smiled back. I Came out of the house & closed the door behind. Stood there for a second and thought... Does it actually makes me happy?
Kims'T High School Library
As I Entered the library, I Was glad to see some space. It was filled with books, with whom I Feel safe. But somewhere around I Felt that these books made me weak too, & never let me face the real rebelious world out there.
I stared in the space for a while until someone's voice struck my right ear, "Good Morning Ms.Gupta!" A charming white lady greeted me.
"Good Morning Marcy!" I Replied with a smile.
"So everything's ready for the Annaul speech?" She asked, as I Sat down on the table-chair kept at one corner of the silent-library. "Yep!" I Replied and opened some files to go through the list again, to check wether the correct arrangements have been made or not. I Could feel someone stare at me, for a second I Chucked it, but then I Looked up to see Marcy staring at me. "What?" I asked.
She nodded a slight no with a meaningful smile & replied, "Tomorrow must be a special day for you!" She said silently. She was a Fiffty-Seven year old women. She had weak voice, but it had all the charm. I slightly nodded a yes, and looked down. And there was silence. I Never wanted to speak, but my emotions spoke at that time, "I Miss Her." I Whispered. With a tear which fell down on the paper in front of me.
She came beside me and kept her hands on my shoulder, "I Miss her too. Your mother was a great women riddhima! And I Still feel her presence today. Lucky she, who has a wonderful daughter like you. You resemble her! Her green almond eyes, her tinkling soft voice, her decency, her elegance, her grace, her beauty. And I know if she would've been alive she would have hugged me if she heard me saying this as I Think that you are better than her."
She said. It made me more weak all of a sudden.
Yes, yes tomorrow was my dead mother's birthday. She was a librarian too. She felt safe near these books & so she worked in this same library. She passed away the day I Took birth. The doctor had told my dad that there are many chances of the mother dying in such pregnancy. But still, she gave me birth. And just after a few seconds, when I Entered the world, I Cried seeing my mommy die. I Never celebrated my birthday. She gave away her life for me, and so I Wanted to do all that she did. She was a happy simple women. My dad always said that her beauty was one thing that made him afll in love with her. And yes! Even when today I see her & my dad's wedding picture, she looks amazing in that white silk gown, with her browny forst curvy hair falling down, and that smile that played on her lips. I Have never heard her voice, but still in every dream of mine I hear her speaking to me.."I am always there for you my child."
This library made me feel her presence. I was satisfied over here, I Felt my mother around me here 24/7. Yes, as a matter of fact. I also did wanted a life like any other girl, adventorous, lively, fun-filled, boyfriends, etc. But this all wasn't more important for me. I Did get bored, but then everytime her smile passed through my mind making me the happiest person alive.
Coming to the library, working, took all my day. In the evening at 6 when I Was about to leave for my home, I Heard my phone beeping. It was my dad, "Hey Dad. I'll be reaching home in an hour!" I Said as I Pulled up my brown bag on my shoulder.
"Dear, don't forget to bring those white-pink orchids. Remember, they were her favourite." He said. I Could hear the shivers in his voice. I Couldn't see but I Knew that he was crying slightly.
"How can I Forget dad!" I Replied back.
"Hm. Now come home soon sweetheart!" He said cheered up suddenly & disconnecting the phone. I kept my phone back in my bag and switched off the lights of the library. It was all dark. I Came out & closed the main door, and was just walking down the stairs, when I Felt something weird. I climbed up the stairs again, opened the door, and entered in the library. I went near my desk at the dark corner of the library, and opened the 3rd last drawer. I took out a paper and looked at it.
"The Best Song ever written by you mom." I Whispered & smiled back at me. I Held it close to my heart & went back home. While driving my dad called me again.
"Yes Dad!" I Said while concentrating on the road.
"Hey Sweetie. Where are you?"
"Just give me 15 more minutes dad. I'll be there!"
"Umm... Sweetheart, Please do me favor. Bring some extra saucages, and yah some extra
spicy red sauce. And yah some green titlots as well, Spicy one's Hu?" He said.
I was completely non-plussed. Why exactly he wants all this?
"Why dad? Anybody's coming?" I Asked.
"Yah. My Indian friend Siddhart is coming from India. His flight just landed, and I Have invited
him for the dinner."
"Oh Sid Uncle! Nice! But dad tomorrow is ...um..Mom's Bir.." I stammered.
"I Know. And I Want to be happy on that occation. She never wanted to see us sad. Did she?" He asked and I Smiled back. I know he could hear me smiling.
"Ok. Now come soon. They will be here any moment!" And he disconnected the phone.
"Hey Dad.. Listen!" But my always-in-a-hurry dad had disconnected the line. I just freaking wanna know... What did he exactly mean by 'they'?
I Reached my home, and could see no car outside the house so I Knew that I Was on time.
That "They" still haven't reached here.
"Hey Dad!" I Said as I Entered the home.
"Have You Bought the stuff?" he asked.
"Yah everything!" I said as I Kept those heavy brown paper bags on the main table, "But, as far as I Know, Sid Uncle hates spicy tintrots! Then Why..."
But dad interrupted me and said, "It's not for him, it's for his son!"
"His son?"
"Yah his son. Armaan."
As I Entered the library, I Was glad to see some space. It was filled with books, with whom I Feel safe. But somewhere around I Felt that these books made me weak too, & never let me face the real rebelious world out there.
I stared in the space for a while until someone's voice struck my right ear, "Good Morning Ms.Gupta!" A charming white lady greeted me.
"Good Morning Marcy!" I Replied with a smile.
"So everything's ready for the Annaul speech?" She asked, as I Sat down on the table-chair kept at one corner of the silent-library. "Yep!" I Replied and opened some files to go through the list again, to check wether the correct arrangements have been made or not. I Could feel someone stare at me, for a second I Chucked it, but then I Looked up to see Marcy staring at me. "What?" I asked.
She nodded a slight no with a meaningful smile & replied, "Tomorrow must be a special day for you!" She said silently. She was a Fiffty-Seven year old women. She had weak voice, but it had all the charm. I slightly nodded a yes, and looked down. And there was silence. I Never wanted to speak, but my emotions spoke at that time, "I Miss Her." I Whispered. With a tear which fell down on the paper in front of me.
She came beside me and kept her hands on my shoulder, "I Miss her too. Your mother was a great women riddhima! And I Still feel her presence today. Lucky she, who has a wonderful daughter like you. You resemble her! Her green almond eyes, her tinkling soft voice, her decency, her elegance, her grace, her beauty. And I know if she would've been alive she would have hugged me if she heard me saying this as I Think that you are better than her."
She said. It made me more weak all of a sudden.
Yes, yes tomorrow was my dead mother's birthday. She was a librarian too. She felt safe near these books & so she worked in this same library. She passed away the day I Took birth. The doctor had told my dad that there are many chances of the mother dying in such pregnancy. But still, she gave me birth. And just after a few seconds, when I Entered the world, I Cried seeing my mommy die. I Never celebrated my birthday. She gave away her life for me, and so I Wanted to do all that she did. She was a happy simple women. My dad always said that her beauty was one thing that made him afll in love with her. And yes! Even when today I see her & my dad's wedding picture, she looks amazing in that white silk gown, with her browny forst curvy hair falling down, and that smile that played on her lips. I Have never heard her voice, but still in every dream of mine I hear her speaking to me.."I am always there for you my child."
This library made me feel her presence. I was satisfied over here, I Felt my mother around me here 24/7. Yes, as a matter of fact. I also did wanted a life like any other girl, adventorous, lively, fun-filled, boyfriends, etc. But this all wasn't more important for me. I Did get bored, but then everytime her smile passed through my mind making me the happiest person alive.
Coming to the library, working, took all my day. In the evening at 6 when I Was about to leave for my home, I Heard my phone beeping. It was my dad, "Hey Dad. I'll be reaching home in an hour!" I Said as I Pulled up my brown bag on my shoulder.
"Dear, don't forget to bring those white-pink orchids. Remember, they were her favourite." He said. I Could hear the shivers in his voice. I Couldn't see but I Knew that he was crying slightly.
"How can I Forget dad!" I Replied back.
"Hm. Now come home soon sweetheart!" He said cheered up suddenly & disconnecting the phone. I kept my phone back in my bag and switched off the lights of the library. It was all dark. I Came out & closed the main door, and was just walking down the stairs, when I Felt something weird. I climbed up the stairs again, opened the door, and entered in the library. I went near my desk at the dark corner of the library, and opened the 3rd last drawer. I took out a paper and looked at it.
"The Best Song ever written by you mom." I Whispered & smiled back at me. I Held it close to my heart & went back home. While driving my dad called me again.
"Yes Dad!" I Said while concentrating on the road.
"Hey Sweetie. Where are you?"
"Just give me 15 more minutes dad. I'll be there!"
"Umm... Sweetheart, Please do me favor. Bring some extra saucages, and yah some extra
spicy red sauce. And yah some green titlots as well, Spicy one's Hu?" He said.
I was completely non-plussed. Why exactly he wants all this?
"Why dad? Anybody's coming?" I Asked.
"Yah. My Indian friend Siddhart is coming from India. His flight just landed, and I Have invited
him for the dinner."
"Oh Sid Uncle! Nice! But dad tomorrow is ...um..Mom's Bir.." I stammered.
"I Know. And I Want to be happy on that occation. She never wanted to see us sad. Did she?" He asked and I Smiled back. I know he could hear me smiling.
"Ok. Now come soon. They will be here any moment!" And he disconnected the phone.
"Hey Dad.. Listen!" But my always-in-a-hurry dad had disconnected the line. I just freaking wanna know... What did he exactly mean by 'they'?
I Reached my home, and could see no car outside the house so I Knew that I Was on time.
That "They" still haven't reached here.
"Hey Dad!" I Said as I Entered the home.
"Have You Bought the stuff?" he asked.
"Yah everything!" I said as I Kept those heavy brown paper bags on the main table, "But, as far as I Know, Sid Uncle hates spicy tintrots! Then Why..."
But dad interrupted me and said, "It's not for him, it's for his son!"
"His son?"
"Yah his son. Armaan."
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