Part 6
Chayya Sharma
Going to college with visha these days felt so good. It felt as though the girl who i had befriended in school once upon a time ages ago was finally coming back. Those patches of discomfort in between remained of course, but as far as i was concerned, things were improving, and that was a definite plus. The patches i assumed was because of the years of seperation that we had gone through that had somewhere drawn up a few new kind of boundaries that were tough to penetrate, but we were working on it. I stared up at visha, analyzing her expression, her face that had once seemed allergic to anything but a simple cream, but now filled with makeup that i probably couldn't even imagine, clothes of every other brand that would make her look chik, 4 piercings on the ear, stylish shoes and an extremely girlish pink handbag. I tried to block these images out of my head. I mentally started convincing and annoying myself against the physical image that was in front of my eyes.
'Shes still vishalakshi. The girl you adore to bits.' My heart tried to convince me. But my mind contradicted my heart again 'is she really the same girl? The same old vishalakshi?' My heart sighed 'of course she is. Wearing wierd clothes and having piercings doesn't change who she really is.' My mind gave a vicious laugh and turned back to me. 'Why has her behaviour changed to this extent with you then?' My mind asked me the self same question that i had been asking myself as well for the last few weeks. How did my mind know what i'd been thinking? I stared around frantic for an answer. And then it dawned on me, of course, it was MY mind. I grimaced and turned back to my heart waiting for a comeback, but to my astonishment, my heart gave me a rather sad smile and said 'THE STATIONS HERE.COME ON AND GET OFF THE TRAIN.' I blinked my eyes in confusion and stared at my heart again. Except for this time it looked like visha. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. This time the entire picture came running back into my head. I was in the TRAIN. Of course. I stared around rather embarrassed at being caught this way and slowly got off the train avoiding eye contact with visha, who i realised rather late was smirking at my dazed expression.
I started to walk quickly across the crowded platform of the andheri station afraid of what i was gonna say if visha asked me the reason behind my dazed expression. I averted my eyes from the platform. If i see her now, she'll totally eat my head to know the slumber reason. And i knew personally that i was definitely neither a good liar nor a good excuse maker. She would know there and then that i was lyingt. I racked my head trying to think of a good enough explanation when my eyes caught those familiar brown eyes amused at my expression. The brown eyed nutcase, ritesh who i had very recently started talking to gave me a huge smile. I smiled back back suprised at how willingly it came. I felt nice around this guy, not just the normal comfortable kind of nice, but a kind of an attraction kind of nice. He was shit cute, and there was no denying that, and whenever he looked at me, it always caught me completely off guard.
He punched me on my head and sniggered rather funnily that made me all giddy inside and laugh. I punched him on his arms hard, and to my surprise he dint seemed to have felt the punch at all and on the other hand, my hand was, ow, aching. I stared annoyed at his biceps before he gave me a strange knowing smile, the kind I get sometimes from visha when she would catch me staring at a random guy intently. I blushed red and tried to tell him that it wasn't that way he had assumed, but to my surprise he never really gave me the chance to speak, he just made an understanding face and left me behind, completely taken aback and of course immensely embarrassed. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed, and as always I found all the men and women around me staring at me with a blank expression, and as soon as the saw me they reverted back to whatever they were doing.
All through the auto, on the way to college I was badgered repeatedly by visha, who still couldn't make out my dazed expression. She kept poking me on my elbow, and kicking me on my ankle. And when I still dint talk, she simply turned her face away from mine. I stared at her, it seemed she was now finding the dirty roads and the completely smoky cars immensely interesting. I looked the other way, glad to have a way out without having to spill out the story. She is visha, i told myself. She would be back to normal within seconds. But i was wrong there. She dint talk to me lest look at me at all, till we reached the entrance of the college. This time, however, she gave me a false smile and asked "Chai would you be kind enough to come with me to the lounge? Or is that degrading to your image?" I gave her a false laugh and for once surprised her "Why not? Lounge sounds good to me!" She stared at me with wide eyes before she narrowed her eyes down to two tiny slits. "If you're trying to make up for being a complete arse to me back there in station and the auto then its not okay!" She huffed and gave me an angry look. I made a genuine innocent face. "You think I would do that vish?" She groaned out aloud. "Oh all right. Follow me."
The girls lounge was completely empty apart from a love sick couple sitting on one end of the lounge, aptly we chose the other. "So are you gonna tell me then what this is all about?" Visha had definitely changed in that characteristic, i wrote down on an empty sheet in my head. "Tell you what Vish? I tried to look confused, but i knew the show wasnt working. What happened next was something that I would have never been able to have foreseen. Visha stared at me with two angry icy eyes and screamed, taking out all her inbound frustration out on me. "CHAYYA IM REALLY TRYING TO MAKE AN EFFORT HERE. I DONT KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED, BUT WE ARE FALLING APART, AND I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I CANT BEAR IT IF WE EVER STOP TALKING. BUT IF YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE A GOD-DAMN-IT JERK TO ME, THEN THATS THAT. I DONT THINK WE'LL BE ABLE TO SURVIVE IT TOGETHER. SO PLEASE TRY, TRY TO MAKE AN EFFORT WOMAN!"
I stared at her wide eyed, bewildered at what i had just seen. Visha sighed and sat back down. It was a minute i think, before she finally smiled and looked back up, but this time not at me, she was waving and smiling at someone who was standing somewhere behind me. I looked up at the mirror in front of me, and almost choked. Amit Gill was standing right behind, with his hands on my seat and was staring at visha with a rather funny expression. "Lucky maam, is all fine?" he asked playfully. "Yes amity. Brilliantly fine. Go away now. We're busy." I stared up stunned at the balantness of those words. But to my surprise they were both laughing like little kids holding their tummies, trying not to fall off. I stared at them, awed and jealous of the chemistry they shared, with my nature i knew only too well that i could never have that kind of a friendship with any guy or girl at all. Visha of course was an exception.
Amit and Visha, i noticed from the corner of my eyes, were busy laughing at things that i probably couldn't fathom. She would say something and then they both would start laughing all over again. I lowered my eyes, putting in all my concentration on my phone. I was texting Atul.
"Where are you? Come to the canteen whenever you reach." he texted
I thought over it and then replied after a few seconds.
"In lounge with Visha. Will make it there as soon as i can. Come munch in here? Id love company."
"Company on its way maam.. Ive got company too. Hope that doesnt cause a problem?"
"Depends on the company!"
"Ritesh and Aditya!"
"No biggie. Bring em on? Thanks a bunch for coming,."
"No problem maam. Aditya and Ritesh say Hi though."
"Give em my love."
"What? Me? Shouldnt you do that yourself?"
"Asshole!"
"Lazy Bum!"
":/"
":P"
"Come faster! Drag those legs. C'mon."
"Not all of us have those energetic legs of yours maam. We'll try and make it within the hour?"
"Bitch!"
"Talk to the hand!"
"That is such an old one man. Grow up!"
"Old ones for old females?"
"MEAN!"
"Thank You!"
"Welcome?"
I was in titters as I texted Atul in and out. Atul was such a great guy. Sweet, caring, intelligent and a person who knew what i really needed to hear to cheer me up at most times. I unllocked my keypad as my cell vibrated when i felt my phone being snatched away from my hand. "Texting someone i see? Who is the special... ooohhh Whos Atul?" Visha teased me, creating for me a huge embarrassment as Amit stared at me with his two pulsating blue eyes. I avoided his eyes and told her he was my classmate. "Just a classmate? Really Chai?" Amit smiled. I turned red in embarrassment and gave Visha an angry look, hoping out of a hopeless hope that she would understand. She understood, yes, but she created a huger embarrassment for me when she opened her mouth next.
"Chill Chai. If you're feeling embarrassed of Amity boy here, then just know hes just as much of a crackpot as you. So dont get so serious. He doesnt mind at all. Right Amity boy?" Visha casually flipped her hair behind her shoulder. I stared at him. He was carefully avoiding my eyes, but had a well noticeable smile on his face as he nodded rather shyly. I swallowed some water and then turned back to them. They were busy doing things such as "Shes so wierd", "Hes so annoysome", "Shes so fat" and so on.
Right on cue, Atul, Ritesh, Aditya and Kajal came in. They were busy laughing at some joke that Ritesh had just cracked. As i turned back to Visha and Amit after waving to them, i noticed to my surprise that Visha looked immensely dazed by ritesh, just as i was sometimes. I wondered if i should tell visha, to back off this one, she already had Amit. But i kept my trap shut. Aditya came and sat next to me along side Atul. Kajal and Ritesh sat on the other side perpendicular to both our benches. To my annoying surprise i saw the door open again, and this time through the doors came Unnati and another rather snobbish girl called Niharika. Both of blushing furiously for some reason. Ritesh looked at them and waved rather cutely. They both turned, if possible, even more red as they waved back to him.
I studied the group and then quietly got up and left, i had never been able to adjust with big groups. It was a birth problem, yes, but that was how i was. I went and found myself a seat near the canteen which was completely empty and opened up a story book "PS I love you". This was a book i had recently started to read, and there was only one word i could say about it. Brilliant. I'd cried through almost all the pages that i'd read so far. Your heart just has to open up for Holly. Its impossible not to feel that way.
I had a meeting for the creatives Board of the student council today, i had already submitted my Statement-of-Purpose of course, the interview would be in around half an hour. I wondered what all they would ask, when my mind reverted back to its favourite topic these days. Amit. I remembered his blue eyes, and the intensity of his eyes, and the way i hadn't been able to even meet his eyes. I was dangerously dangling on the edge of falling in love, i knew. But i surprisingly dint want to seem to do anything else apart from that.
Half an hour later, I walked into the class where the interview for the Creatives team was going to take place, still shaken by just sitting on the same table as him and listening to his velvety soft voice. I knew he was out of bounds. But crazily enough even sitting in the same circle as him had left me spellbound and in need of breathe. Of course there was that slight minus in my head of how easily visha was able to talk to Amit, even kajal had got a few nice smiles from him. But me? He hardly noticed my existance. It was like i wasn't even there. For amit, i was more of a part of the wall, easily overlooked. Or so it seemed to me.
But since i knew i wasnt really worth him, that minus dint seem to bother me much. just seeing him tbere, standing and talking had completely made my day today. I happily marched towards my seat in order to wait for my turn when my heartbeat stopped. Standing right next to my desk was amit reading something intently on my desk with a blank face.It took him only a few seconds to realize i was in the room and turn and go back to his seat. I frowned with displeasure, what had he been reading with such concentration on my desk?
And then i saw it. There were a few graffiti made on the desk.
It said:
YOU'RE SO STUPID. GET A LIFE.
SHABBY FREAK. WIERDO.
f**k YOU. RGARDS.
I stared at the words smeared in black permanent ink, my heartbeat pounding in my ears.
My blood rushing into my face. My body went limp with shock. I blinked away a tear and
took my seat.
How could amit have written such horrible things about me?
---
Finally heres the part! Do let me know what you guys think
Love
Sindhya
Cricket
Arjun
Jhanak
Tum Se Tum Tak
55