Part 12 -
Secrets Unraveled.
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Armaan walked out of the OT after placing a kiss on Angel's forehead. The doctors were taking her to be checked, while other doctors continued surgery on Riddhima. They weren't sure of her status yet, but things weren't looking good yet. He came out and his anger came rushing back as he saw Sid sitting holding his head. He walked up to him and pushed him against a wall, "You knew! You knew! Phirbhi you didn't stop her. You didn't try and save her! You didn't tell anyone! WHY?"
Sid sighed, "Armaan, sit down, chalo I'll tell you all I know."
Armaan contemplated for a second, he tightened his grip on his collar then let go and sat down. Sid took the cue and sat next to him.
"I've always dreamt of marrying her you know, but I knew she never loved me and never would. But I still had to try. I was estatic when she said yes, lekin phir she told me how she could only be my wife in name. she only ever loved you and there was no room left in her heart, because her heart wasn't with her anymore. She was having second thoughts, she had said yes initially in anger. You had just turned her down you see. Just after our engagement, a friend of mine was hit by a car while crossing the road. Luckily I was there and brought him to the hospital immediately. I was just about to leave when I saw Riddhima being rushed into the hospital on a stretcher. She was bleeding from her forehead and such. I quickly went near her and that's when I learnt of how she fainted and her car crashed. I was so worried and confused, that I didn't even get time to call anyone to inform them. When the doctor came out, she told us how only one could survive. There was slight hope that both might make it, but the baby would be a premature baby. As soon as any slight pain occured they would have to take the baby out, or else Ridz wouldn't make it. Riddhima then decided ki she would continue the pregnancy. I tried to dissuad her, but she wouldn't listen. Usne mujhe kasam khai thi, ki I wouldn't tell anyone and nor would I make any attempts at finding another solution or doctor. I..I was helpless...I didn't know what to do. It was only today that I realized she was having pains and I tried to bring her here, but she wouldn't listen to me! That's when I realized, she wasn't planning on surving. That's why she was willing to go through the wedding with me - She knew it wouldn't last anyways."
Armaan looked at Sid horrified. They both had tears pouring down their cheeks. "You should have done something anyways! You should have told me!" Sid looked at him shocked. "Really? Tell YOU? This all happened only because YOU didn't love her back!" Armaan looked at him defeated. "Nahin, I've always loved her, from even before what I knew what love was."
That's when everyone looked at him. Rahul put his hand on Armaan's shoulder. "Armaan, I think you owe us all an explaination, including why you were trying to kill yourself tonight." Armaan sighed, "you didn't read the letter?" Rahul shook his head. "Nahin, I left it with the gifts for Riddhima."
Armaan nodded and looked at all the eager faces waiting for his side of the story.
"Everything started before we both knew you guys. When we were just young kids." Armaan looked at his dad, who nodded encouraging him to continue.
"When we were little, toh everyone doted on Riddhima - similar to know I suppose, but I literally mean everyone absolutely loved her, everyone including me. But I expressed my feelings differently. I felt possessive of her, but that meant that I never let anyone else near her. She always thought ki I was just jealous and didn't want anyone to like her, or for her to have any friends." His reaccount of the past was broken by Atul. "toh didn't you ever tell her that she was yours or something?"
Armaan shook his head, "nahin. not once. Pehle toh I don't even know why, aur as we got older toh my feelings just got stronger, but so did Riddhima's reactions. She was dead set positive ki I hated her, and I could never muster the courage to tell her ki I loved her. Then well I sort of began to accept it, but I promised myself to always be there for her. Everytime I argued with her - there was always a reason, whether I wanted to push her harder so she gets what she wants by competing with her, or distracted her from hurtful or bad things by irritating her. Sometimes ticking her off so she doesn't accidently eat something she's allergic to, or just because she needed a distraction or reminder about something. While she was with Abhi - toh I'll admit it was because of my jealousy. It just hurt seeing her with someone else. I couldn't bare it."
Rahul looked at him and sighed, "so why didn't you ever confide in any of us? Didn't you trust us? and where does the suicide attempt come in?" The others including Riddhima's parents nodded wanting to hear more.
"I told myself ki I'd leave after graduation because I can't see Riddhima with someone else - it hurts too much, but with the baby coming I'd have to see her all the time. At first I got carried away imaging our life together and how we could be a family. I dared to dream again. But then it hit me like a bolt of lightening. You can't love someone you've hated all your life. Only circumstances can make you think you do, but sooner or later you'll just realize you still hate them! Then it just came crashing down on me. I..I was confused and didn't know what to do. Phir Riddhima announced her engagement. I kept waiting for the nightmare to be over but it was so real. Then when I realized ki she was about to marry someone else, ki I'd always have to see her as someone else's, a place I always dreamt of giving her, I couldn't bare it. I thought about so many options, but none led to happiness. If I died then the pain would just stop." Armaan wiped a tear and sighed.
Anji wiped her own tears and dared to ask, 'but then why didn't you tell us? you or ridz?' Armaan hesitated at first. "I can't speak for riddhima, par for me...what difference would it have made? Could you have given me my love? it would only hurt you guys as well. At least you all were happy, thinking I was happy."
Shashank sighed, "this is all my fault. I should have pressed you both to marry when we found out Riddhima was expecting, none of this would have happened." Armaan shook his head. "Nahin, Riddhima wouldn't have been happy. She didn't love me." Sid looked at Armaan confused, 'par she did. She just never recognized it." Armaan sighed, "pata nahin, lekin jo bhi ho. I don't care. I want her back, I want her safe. I just want to see her smile, I want to see her bite her lip cutely and scrunch up her nose when she's thinking. I want to see her irritated with me. I want to see her smile holding our daughter...I...I just want to see her alive."
They all cried holding each other, they could do nothing, but wait. Armaan was just about to go check on his daughter, when the doctor came out with a straight poker face. No emotions could be read, which made the gang nervous.
"Kya hua doctor? Meri Riddhima theek haina?"
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No precap 😛
longg comments please!
wow am i being speedy or what?
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