It should have been you(ArSH/AR/DMG3 FF) Updtpg148 - Page 73

Originally posted by: tintinu

awesome update dear,armaan THE CONFUSSED SOUL when he gonna realise his love for shilpa

sometime felt really sorry for shilpa

Originally posted by: janu1610

supriya welcome back . loved it ... moments between sid nd Shilpa were amazing . Their comfort level is great.
poor Ammy doesn't know how much he love her . well friendship is first step of love nd i 'd love to watch him in love with her . I think Ridhima was his obstinacy but she is his 'true love' . A love which provide him comfort,space ,care nd most important where he'd be himself only...
thanks for pm.
love nd luck.
ritu

Originally posted by: soni4eva

Yay finally U update
Fab update luvd it
Cnt w8 4 da nxt part plzz cont soon x

Originally posted by: m4manju

nice part Supriya ... the last line stole the show... i cld feel so connected to shilpa... poor girl its too hard for her to handle her emotions ... luvd the part 😳

Originally posted by: MaNaLoVeKaSh

awesome:)

Originally posted by: adorableaisha

Finally u updated...
Gr8 update...
I m on vacation so wnt b replying...
Bt do send me PMs...
Ivill reply once I cum bak

Hey guys! Here it is!! Ahhh SO CLOSE to what you may ask...well read on😉 PLEASE all do comment!

Ar: main sach mein tumhe tang toh nahin karta?

Sh: Armaan! kya woh tumhe tang uss insaan se tang ho sakte ho jis se tum pyaar...

Oh crap.

Shilpa's heart dropped to the pit of her stomach and her knees seemed to be making their way down to her ankles. What was she about to say? More importantly what on earth had she already said? She heard her words again and her body temperature must have shot up by a million degrees. Had she just done the unthinkable? Did she just basically sever or almost sever her friendship? She felt like a complete idiot for putting Armaan on the spot like that. Even though she had never quite said anything so directly, she knew that he knew what she felt. He had known that day on the taxi. But at least than she thought she would never see him again, but now he was right there in front of her, there was no escaping this one. She would just have to hope that Armaan handle the situation for the better. There was nothing she could do now. It was all up to Armaan, how he reacted, and more importantly how he chose to move past this moment. All she could do was stand there and hope that her slip of her tongue didn't just cause her the best part of her life.

Armaan was equally shocked and taken aback by what Shilpa had just said. Even though he had known what she felt since that day in the taxi, or maybe even before than but he never had to strength to actually confront her or himself about it. He had always found himself so frazzled and embroiled in so many other things that he had no choice but to put this in the back of his mind. But now that Shilpa had said this, it was all back at the centre of everything. But as Armaan looked at Shilpa and remembered that night when he had gone with her to convince her to come back. He remembered what her Massi had said about the pain that Shilpa went through because of him. He couldn't bear the thought of doing something like that to her. And at the same time he couldn't let her just stand here and give her any false hope that wasn't going to happen. It was strange how quickly and abruptly all of the questions and thoughts that he had suppressed for so long were now literally erupting. What was it that he felt for Shilpa? Why did he always need to tell her everything? Why did miss her so often, even though she was always in the same building as he was? As the questions grew in number and intensity, Armaan closed his eyes and again shut all of them way. Now was not the time. He couldn't face these questions and these feelings right now. Whatever it was that he felt or didn't feel couldn't, just could not, come in the middle of the subtle but beautiful happiness that he had been feeling these past few weeks. He looked at Shilpa again and realized that the best way to move forward right now was to pretend that he heard nothing. He knew what that would do to Shilpa, but he also knew that if he reacted than it would be worse. Besides, if there was anyone in this whole wide world that would understand it was the girl standing, waiting, right in front of him. The least he owed to her, was a promise that he would do anything to not hurt her, and if that wasn't possible than he had to all he could to lessen the pain in way imaginable. Even if that meant ignoring some of her feelings.

A: kya hua? ghar nahin chalna?

Oh thank the lord, she said as she let out a slight sigh of relief. As much as it hurt not getting the ideal reaction from Armaan, this was probably the best for now. She had to admit that in those few seconds when he had been thinking and she had been waiting she had hoped that what he would do is lunge forward and take her in his arms, but she also knew that Shilpa Malhotra wasn't suppose to be that lucky. Though there was some disappointment, she was also relived. Sid was right, she must mean a lot to him if he actually had to think so hard about what to do next. And no matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop her heart from reaching a small conclusion. If he had to think this hard about what to say to her, maybe if she gave him some time he would definitely think about something else soon. Anyways, for now she was going to take Sid's advice and enjoy what life had to offer. She shrugged off all those questions and concerns and smiled at Armaan.

Sh: chalo!

She approached his bike and watched him put on his helmet and get on the bike. She remembered the first time she had been on his bike, way back in the days. When his life was still in tatters, the look on his face now or at least in his eyes spoke volumes about how much had changed. She smiled again and being rather pleased with herself she too took a seat behind him on the bike. Darn these dresses, she thought. Sitting down always made them much shorter, she tried her best to adjust her dress, hoping that Armaan wasn't noticing but of course that was not the case. Not only had Armaan noticed her discomfort, but she could have sworn that he chuckled a bit.

Ar: fikar mat karo ...main peeche nahin dekhoon ga

Sh: nahin woh...[it was of no use] ...just drive already!

[Though a little embarrassed she was also glad that he was paying such close attention to her. But if he wasn't looking back at her then why on earth were they still not moving?]

S: kya hua...ab chalo!

[Armaan looked back at her, all she could see were his eyes through his helmet but she could have sworn there was a smile on his face.]

A: lagta hai tum pehli baar seekhi nahi ... [He took a hold of her hand and wrapped around his waist, just like he had done so many months ago. And then he reached for her other hand and placed it on his own shoulder and when that was all done, he finally pulled out of Sanjeevani.]

Oh my goodness! He also remembered the first time he gave her a ride on his bike! He remembered exactly what had happened. If that wasn't enough to set of her emotions there was the fact that her was literally wrapped around his waist and he had been the one to put it there. So close to Armaan, that the wind was actually full of only his scent yet so far. All she wanted to do was pull him in closer and just keep it at that. She had never had to work so hard to keep still. This was so unfair, she thought, he was actually pretty much in her arms and still so far from that. The look on her face was rather miserable and what she thought was visible to no one was rather clear for Armaan.

From the moment he had left Sanjeevani, he had been looking at her through his mirror. Every single expression of hers tore his heart to pieces. He knew what this was doing to her. He understood that though he had managed to ignore what she had said earlier, he couldn't have managed to soften the blow. And on top of that, he was doing all of this which was no doubt making all of this harder on her. There was this immense sense of guilt that overtook him. All she had ever done was try and make his life easier and happier and all he ever did in return was make hers ten times harder. How selfish was he, Armaan asked himself. Here he was ignoring what she had said while at the same time making her basically hug him on his bike. When he thought of it like that he realized how horribly self interested he was becoming. And when he reached that conclusion he immediately stopped his bike and Shilpa lunged forward and pretty much crashed into his shoulder. Was there more for the day? Really, she thought. Hadn't there been enough drama in the past day, was there really need for more. She had actually been looking forward to going home and just sleeping, no more thinking, no more analyzing. But obviously that was not going to happen.

As she finally managed to sit upright properly, she didn't have to ask him what had happened. He took off his helmet and hung his head low, with his hands again firmly gripping the bike. Oh lord, he wanted to talk. She could just sense it, she knew. He had obviously not forgotten what she had accidentally said, she should be happy right? Maybe not. Nothing that good should be this abrupt. She shouldn't forcing this on him, forcing him to think about things that may not even be there. She sighed and got off the bike and waited for him to do the same. She looked at him and smiled, he returned the gesture. At that moment there was such genuine concern in his eyes that she could have literally wept, but managed to keep a hold on herself.

Ar: how do you not hate me?

This was perhaps one of the most intense and perhaps the most straightforward question he had ever asked. How? After everything, how could she still put up with all this? As he looked at her he was just in awe of how calm her face was, how absolutely unshakable she seemed. He hated himself for not being able to do or say what she wanted, but he also knew that doing that wouldn't end to well for either of them. She didn't deserve that, she of all the people deserved the best. Not someone who was still grappling with his internal mess. He gestured again, this time asking the same question with his expressions and waiting for a reply. All she did was shrug, a "I don't know" kind of shrug.

After all what else was she to do. Because she really had no idea. If not hate, then she shouldn't at least feel the way she did. He was for the most part toying with her feelings, keeping her so close all the time, but in the same breath keeping her away as well. But for some reason, all that did was make her fall deeper in love with them. However, twisted the logic may have been, it was the reality. She realized that he was far more disturbed by this than she had believed him to be. And as always, she couldn't bear that thought. Especially this time when she was obviously the reason. What she just said, was something she never thought she would. But the words escaped her before she could think.

Sh: Armaan...mujhe tumse koi sikyaat nahin hai...apne dil ko sambhalne ki taqat hai mujh mein

He looked at her was literally belittled by what he just said to him. Why must her heart be so big? He was always amazed at how she could say so much with saying so little. She didn't have the need to explain anything to him yet he understood it all. She allowed him the freedom to feel at his own pace. No one other than her could have managed to do something like this.

Ar: thank you.

Sh: kis liye?

Ar: Shilpa Malhotra hone ke liye..

She smiled at him and he at her. Then there was a nice and beautiful silence that actually made her heart happy and his too. Who would believe that these two were in their twenties, they talked and behaved like some wise old philosophers. Maybe that was what made their relationship so difficult to define or even understand there was just something far greater and more powerful than a simple love story of a boy and a girl. Where else would a boy apologize to a girl for not being able to completely in love with her and even stranger what kind of a girl would actually love him more for having done so. Odd, yet absolutely wonderful. But even then, there was still some adorable playfulness.

Sh: oh ho!

[The volume and tone of her voice startled him.]

Ar: kya hua?

Sh: tum...

Ar: main?

Sh: itni mushkil se hasne lage the...ab phir se wohi rotlu jaise lag rahe ho

Armaan not only smiled, he actually let out a little giggle. From there all was well again for the time being. The amount that he owed to Shilpa was beyond comprehension. Telling her to stop making fun of him, he and Shilpa got back on the bike and headed towards Shilpa's house again. She loved how much he actually talked when he wasn't preoccupied. And he loved all her wild expressions she made when she thought he wasn't looking. After having dropped her home, the drive back to his house was full of a million thoughts and a million questions. Though they had managed to get past even that hurdle, there was something that Armaan hadn't admitted to himself, let alone Shilpa. Something that he was too afraid to even think about.

Even though it felt good to actually talk about what seemed nearly impossible, Armaan couldn't help but shrug of the feeling that he had somehow miss read what actually happened. He couldn't seem to convince himself that he had drawn the right conclusion here. Something about all of this didn't seem so right. He entered his room headed straight to the the shower, with an inexplicable anxiousness in his heart. Even though every thing with Shilpa had worked out rather well there was still something incomplete. She had every right to hate him but she didn't, she had every reason to break down but she hadn't, she had every opportunity to question but she wouldn't. "Kiss mitti ki bani ho tum?" he said to himself.

Under the water he let his mind rest, but because he was there all alone and his mind was free to think all he could see was Shilpa's expression when she had said "Armaan...mujhe tumse koi sikyaat nahin hai...apne dil ko sambhalne ki taqat hai mujh mein". Now that she wasn't here to fool him with her smile, Armaan had the glaring image of her pain in his mind. Did he completely miss what she had tried to say? Was he just inviting trouble for himself? Was he completely overstepping the line? Not wanting to over think anything Armaan shrugged off , he had walked out of the shower feeling rather exhausted with his own mind and ready to head off to sleep. If not the cold water, then maybe a good night's rest would help ease his mind.

No matter how much he had tried he was unable to fall asleep. Thinking again and again about his conversation with Shilpa. When he did re-live the conversation in his mind, his heart finally admitted to itself what it had been so afraid to even feel. He couldn't touch those strings with Shilpa there because even though it was all inside he feared that she could see inside of him. His greatest problem was that his heart was scared. He feared that what had already happened once would happen again. He feared for his own well being, he was absolutely horrified at the thought of letting someone be so much in control of his feelings and his whole being. There, honest and simple. This time he closed his eyes and realized he was breathing heavily. It took a lot to admit something like that, even if it was something he had to admit to himself. Even though he had managed to fall asleep he was still unable to shake off that anxious feeling that seemed to literally take over him.

The next morning in the locker room they conversed a bit and everything seemed rather normal on her part. It was as if they hadn't even talked the night before. Obviously he was far more disturbed by it then she was. But why? Wasn't she the one who was in love with him? Shouldn't she be the one to feel this strange anxiousness that he was feeling. Like there was still something more to say, but what surprised him was that she didn't seem any different now then she had been the past few days. But he still just had to ask.

Ar: toh?

[She looked at him, and either she was an amazing actress or she actually had no idea what he was referring to.]

Sh: toh?

After having spent much of the night before thinking about what had happened, Shilpa had come to the conclusion that her friendship with Armaan was far too precious for her to risk it ever going sour. She had convinced herself that the best and in many ways the only option for her was to pretend as if nothing had happened. They had talked and sorted out what they needed, and he had basically told her that he wasn't in love with her. But despite that she knew that even if he wasn't in love with her, he certainly did love her. Otherwise he wouldn't have acted the way he had last night. If this friendship meant so much to him then she would do everything to preserve it the way it was. Even if that meant caging up her own heart. She would stop reading into the things he said or did. She feared that when she did that she often reached the conclusions that she wanted to reach, not necessarily the ones that were the truth. Besides, when she looked at Armaan he looked so confused and shocked that she just couldn't bear being the reason for that, so she had to act this way.

Ar: toh?

[He knew he was sounding like an idiot, but he honestly wasn't able to come up with anything else.]

Sh: Armaan!

[Oh lord, what had she done? Now he wasn't even comfortable talking to her? He had nothing to say?]

Ar: tumhe raat ko dheek se neend aa gayi thi?

[Now he was basically digging for what he wanted to hear, which was that he wasn't the only one overreacting here. But Shilpa wasn't about to do that, she did what she had promised herself and didn't read too much into his questions. Answered it in the most straight forward way possible.]

Sh: haan...itni duties ke baad neend toh aaye gi...kyon?

[Really? So she hadn't thought or analyzed as much as he had? Why not? But more importantly, why did he care?]

Ar: oh...ummm bas aise hi

[He needed to find a way out of this, before he dug himself a hole to big to crawl out of. Obviously, something wasn't quite right here, and before he figured that out he honestly had no idea what he would or should say. So he said the first thing that came to his mind.]

Ar: Dr. Kirti tumhe dhoond rahi thi

Sh: oh...pehle bata na tha...bye!

Just like that she ran out leaving him standing there completely perplexed and utterly confused. She was just so amazing at picking up what he was thinking so then why didn't she pick up what he wanted to say this morning. What had gotten into her? And more importantly what had gotten into him. He shook his head and told himself to snap out of it. They had sorted out what they needed sort out already, there was nothing left to think about so it would be best if he put all this aside and carried on with his day.

At the nurse station when he was handing out duties, he noticed something. Something that was so obvious but hadn't struck him before. Just before calling out Shilpa's duties he realized that for the past month or so, every single day he had been giving her a duty in the same place that he would be. If he had an operation then she was his assistant, if he was in the general ward then so was she, all of this and he hadn't noticed until right now. But what he had noticed was the way everyone was now looking at him, his pause was rather obvious. He looked up and met Shilpa's gaze. She gestured and mouthed the question, "kya hua", he simply shook his head and was about to keep reading his duty chart when luckily someone came and interrupted the awkward situation.

Dr. Kirti arrived with an unexpected smile on her face. As always every body gave her their full attention, which proved to be in Armaan's benefit who had the opportunity to gather his thoughts and put himself together again. It was like some sort of locked door had been opened on the inside and things were literally gushing out at an uncontrollable speed. Since last night, his mind had been working overtime to try and understand whatever the heck it was that seemed to be going on. Again, he had to shake off all of these things and work very hard to focus on what Dr. Kirti had to say, and that meant that he had to stop looking at Shilpa every other second.

Dr. Kirti had announced that because Sanjeevani was about to complete 25 years there was going to be a big function this weekend and that everyone is accepted to look their best and show up. There was probably more that she had said, but this was about all that he had heard. Fearing still that his confusion would come in the way of him speaking, he was glad when Dr. Kirti whisked Shilpa away with her. He stood there relived. If Dr. Kirti takes you away with her than that probably means that you'll be gone all day. For once, he was a slight but glad that Shilpa would be away for some time. The way his heart his heart has jumbled up in the last 24 hours was beyond imagination. It was as if her words, or lack of words, had opened some floodgates inside. Things that he had successfully packed away were now running in full gear. Not the time, he said to himself. Lost in his thoughts again, he had forgotten that he was still staring at Shilpa walk away and in full view of everyone at the nurse station. When he did finally snap out of it he continued on as best as he could with the rest of the day. Just praying that this strange anxiousness that he was feeling would soon go away. But alas, no such luck.

It wasn't really that he was thinking about Shilpa, but rather what boggled his mind was why on earth was he trying to convince himself not to think about her? When the day came to an end Armaan too was ready to end this exhausting tussle within his mind. When he acquired with the nurses as to where Shilpa, he learned that she was still doing things for Dr. Kirti. This whole day and most of the night before that had been spent basically over analyzing every single thought in his mind he realized something crucial. No matter what he was thinking, he didn't know handle it without her. Even if he was thinking about her, he had to talk to her to try and understand how to deal with this. He understood how strange this seemed but also understood that he could very little to help it. He began to walk towards his bike, immersed in his thoughts and almost unaware of what was going on until...

ARMAAN!

As soon as he heard his name, startled he turned out and saw a frantic Shilpa running towards him while at the same time a speeding car rush behind him. Woah. His heart rate was up and his nerves on end. Did he nearly just get hit by a car? Was he that lost in his thoughts? He looked over at Shilpa again and this time she didn't seem scared, or nervous him, all he could see was anger! She finally came right up to him and stood there completely out of breath, until of course it began.

S: tumhe dikhayi nahin deta? itni badi car tumhe dikhayi nahin di?

[All he could was look at her all riled up and out of her mind.]

S: itne bade hero nahi ho ki har gaadi tumhare liye ruke gi...God Armaan tum bilkul pagal ho ... [on and on she went, yelling!]

Armaan literally stood there, still, and listened to her yelling at him. It was this weird feeling of being scolded by a babysitter, yet at the same time being yelled at by a loved one. No one had quite done this before. She was calling him careless, blind, unaware, lafanga, you name it and he was quite enjoying himself.

S: tumse baat kar rahi hoon! ARMAAN...pehle andhe aur behere ho kar chalte ho aur ab goonge bhi ho? ...you know... [ and again...yelling spree.]

When Armaan or rather his ears had enough and when he realized that she too was almost out of breath, he took a step forward, put a finger on her lips, so that it was against her lips and nose and "SHHH". It was obvious that she was shocked and taken aback. Her eyes went circular, out of embarrassment or anger he couldn't quite tell. Her cheeks were so red from all the yelling that it appeared to be red paint on her face. There were little droplets of sweat on her forehead, probably from the running. And he could feel he heart pounding away. After having stared at her for a few more seconds he noticed that her cute little stubby nose was precisely half the length of his finger. And like an idiot, he verbalized the first thing that came to mind.

Ar: dhanno...itni chotti si naak pe itna saara gussa kaise accomodate karti ho?

Shilpa was stunned and had literally frozen. Where did that come from? So out of the blue was his statement that she had actually did not know how to react. Here she was yelling at him for being so careless and he was busy looking at the size of her nose. Realizing that she was still standing there, rather strangely with his finger on her lips, Shilpa quickly moved back and waited for him to speak. He too realized how strange that may have sounded to her and tried his best to change the topic but what he couldn't change was that huge, inexplicable smile that was literally plastered on his face.

Ar: thanks.

[Thanks? For what? She thought. Where was the conversation going? Were they not going talk about about that near encounter of Armaan's? he obviously didn't seem to care.]

S: thanks? kyon?

A: jaan bachane ke liye...timing bahut sahi hai tumhari [he added a wink at the end of this one]

S: Armaan...tumhe yeh mazak lag raha hai?

He too was equally confused. The giddiness and happiness was so inexplicable that he just stopped questioning it and was now taking full enjoyment in observing Shilpa's confused expression. But before he could say or do anything her pager went off. She looked at it and moaned, not again. She was so happy to be heading home, guess not.

She looked at her pager again, looked at Armaan who was still smiling for some reason, shook her head and said a quick "ab dekh kar chalna" before starting to make her way back in. Armaan couldn't help but try his very best to keep this conversation going for as long as he could. He just had to keep talking, it was almost as if he was helpless.

Ar: GOODNIGHT!

[Shilpa stopped and turned out to see Armaan still smiling. When he was this adorable he made it difficult for her to keep the promise that she had made to herself. But whatever it was that was making act like this, she was so glad.]

S: good night!

A: toh...kal party mein milte hain?

Oh right, Sanjeevani's big party. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was something behind Armaan's insistence to keep talking. But for the time being she did have to put it aside and just responded with a smile. He too smiled at her and watched her walk back into the hospital. For some reason that was beyond him, he had a strange fluttery feeling inside. A strange sense of security took over him. Whatever anxiousness that he had been feeling since the night before was now gone. All that was left was the smile on his face and the sight of Shilpa of finally disappearing into the walls of Snajeevani. He let out a deep breath and made his way to his bike. This time paying full attention to the road around him.

As he finally got to his bike and was about to get going he realized something. He wished that she was here. Just like yesterday he wished that he could have dropped her off today as well. How great would that have been? Especially given this giddiness that he had inside. And at that moment, like a deer caught in the headlights, or like a car rushing away from a tornado something monstrous hit him. Utter awe and sheer shock were all he felt. How did he not see this. The realization when it did dawn was nothing short of monumental. It had now been a full 24 hours since Shilpa had her slip of tongue. It was the night before at almost this time when he had avoided a difficult situation and now a mere twenty four hours later here he was wishing that she was again on his bike. In the last twenty four hours a million thoughts and a billion questions had erupted in his mind. And his answer to every single one was, now is not the time, I'm not ready, I'm scared but not once, not even for a moment had the thought that he felt nothing come to his mind. Every time he asked himself a question his heart would out of fear push that question away. But never once did his heart deny the validity of the question. Last night, he had essentially asked Shilpa for time, but what boggled his mind was, time for what? He had convinced himself that he wasn't ready, but wasn't ready for what?

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