It should have been you(ArSH/AR/DMG3 FF) Updtpg148 - Page 105

Now her lips were less than a millimeter away from his, her eyes slowly but surely began to close and as she felt her eyes close she felt his hands find their way to her back, and she finally covered the distance of the last few millimeters he too pulled her again. And in the most pure, and most brave step she had taken...she kissed him. As she moved forward to kiss, he was taken in by surprise, he literally stumbled backwards and almost lost his balance.

As she still cradled his face he - trying to balance himself - quickly grasped her waist and somehow managed to stand straight up. Just as he too was about to reciprocate she slowly began to ease away and pull back. Not being ready for that, he moved his hands from her waist to her hair, trying his best to pull her back in, but alas she managed to pull away successfully. He just looked at her, and realized something. Something that he hadn't seen before. He looked at her and knew, appreciated, and finally understood, she was all in. There was no holding back. Boy did he love that. Then as he shifted his gaze to see the people looking at them, some of the girls giggling and laughing, while others were blushing, some were looks of contempt, others of disapproval, but it didn't seem to matter, not at all.

As Shilpa pulled back, she really had to work to catch her breath once again. She stared at him, as if trying to see if what had happened was something that he too had wanted. And while doing that she came to a realization...OH LORD! Did she really just kiss him in front of everyone? Her eyes took on a completely circular form and she too looked here and there and saw the same looks. What had come over her? From a girl who could barely talk to him just a few months back, from a girl who would cry in silence in these very halls, here she was lip locking out in public. How? Why? When her gaze focussed in on Armaan again, she found her answer, it was love. Nothing more and nothing less. Of course she would do this. Of course she would want to show everyone that she was in love, show everyone that she wasn't alone. When you've spent your entire life pining to be loved, desperate to be held, and craving to be happy, of course she would want to be crazy when she found it all. How could she wait when she had waited all her life? What if her fate did it again and took it all away? Would she not regret having missed the moment? What if in trying to take it slow she lost here chance? All she knew was that life had been so cruel and when finally there was a moment, a real moment of pure and utter joy, she had to seize it. She just had to. Whether he liked it or not. And at that thought even though she had been overcome by this sense of confidence, like any other girl the blush was unavoidable. Not only did she blush, she actually couldn't help but let the smile escape and magically her eyes too lowered a bit and of course there was only one appropriate response to such a sight.

A: oyyye hoyeee...[He added the naughtiest and most sincere wink at the end.]

And just like that she smiled a little more. He really was everything. Even before the tears began to roll down he made them go away. It was strange how it always seemed like he was the one who needed her, but what she had just come to realize was that she needed him just as well. She needed him to give her these small yet precious moments of unprecedented happiness. She needed him to be normal, to be herself, and most importantly she needed him to love her. And just like before this strange sense of passion came over her once again. But before she could do something as spontaneous as before her pager went off again and the announcement summoned her as soon as possible. She didn't feel like saying anything, just leave him to stand there and enjoy the moment.

He too had no words, he didn't need them. The last few days had literally felt like a dream, a trance, some sort of virtual heaven or something. The things he had done, the things he had said, wow. He smiled as well. And of course his dimples reddened her cheeks some more. He loved this sight. Loved to see this Shilpa, all blushing and smiling. There was something about this woman that made him go crazy each and every time. Something that she did or said that always gave him strengths that he could have only imagined. She kissed him. She actually kissed him, in front of the whole bloody hospital and half the city in the parking lots and she didn't flinch. She didn't bother with anyone else. Her confidence and her faith in him was just too much too handle. But apart from that there was something else...something that he had been initially shy to let his mind think but now looking at her it was too hard not to admit. The woman was a darn good kisser. Instantly, literally instantly he too blushed. And as always she noticed and her smile turned into a giggle. And he didn't think it was possible but she managed to add even more of her essence to the moment. Something only and only Shilpa could do. She chuckled some more and took one step toward him again, lifted her hand and actually grabbed onto one of his cheeks, like the way an Aunt would to a child, she actually took a hold of his cheeks and pulled.

S: oyyee hoyeee...

[As if he wasn't already, he was completely bowled over for the gazillionth time tonight.]

As her pager buzzed ferociously once again, she knew she really had to go now. She smiled, thinking that he was still in ecstasy and would not notice she turned and began to walk inside. And just as she turned and took barely one step he caught a hold of her arm and pulled her in again. Even if she was done, he still had something. It would be rather unfair if she got all the romance for the night. Now she was standing against his torso, his chest supporting her back, and his breath on her neck.

A: aise surprises mujhe bahut ache lagte hain..

[She smiled.]

S: mujhe bhi...

A: aur aaj toh tum bach gayi...lekin utha kar toh lekar hi jaoonga...

And like that he let go of her and let her run back inside. As soon she was out of his sight, he smiled and like he had done many times before in the past few weeks, he looked up at the sky and ran his hands through his hair. Who did he have to thank for all this happiness? Who did he owe all of this joy to? How did he get to this place? When he got to his bike and got on, he looked into the mirror and saw something. Something that not only made him smile but for a man like Armaan it made him do the rare for the second time tonight...he blushed a little. He took his hand and brought it up to his lips, there was still some of her lip stick there. His smile turned into a chuckle and then rather boyishly he shook his head to make sure this was no dream. And decided he would let it stay on for a bit longer. In this mood, and this giddiness he rode off to his house, waiting for the next time he would see her.

For Shilpa the situation was rather different, just as soon as she stepped inside she was literally swamped with tones and tones of work. More, perhaps then she could have handled. But even then, just a passing thought about what had happened and about him, would make it alright. She was so much in love right now that she knew that even saying his name could be lethal for her. So she sufficed with a "him" in all her thoughts and her mental replays. And if that wasn't enough one of the nurses, or ward boys who had seen her in his arms would remind her. Either they would smile at her or look at her and giggle. It was all too wonderful. Then when she was actually working it would be fifteen minutes of focus, one second of him, and then fifteen minutes of focus again. This must have gone on for nearly three hours before the load seemed to finally lighten up a little and it seemed like she too would be able to go home soon and get whatever little rest that she could.

She now walked to the nurse station to take a final look if there were some more files or patients she needed to tend to. She didn't find any files, but found something, rather someone much more important. Someone who would be the happiest when he found out what she had to say. Someone she always shared her feelings with and someone who always listened and helped.

Sh: SID!

[He looked and almost instantly turned the other way. What was going on? Was he angry? Why was he angry? Unfortunately with all that happened in the past few days, she hadn't talked to him in what seemed like forever. So unable to wait any longer she ran up to him and tried again.]

Sh: Sid!

[The same reaction.]

Sh: Sid?

[Now he turned and looked at her.]

Si: itna kuch ho gaya aur tumne mujhe bataya tak nahin...

[Oh...how could she have forgotten. Of all the people, how could she have forgotten to tell Sid? To share with Sid? He had been there through the darkest of moments. He had helped her when she needed it the most and she forgot to tell him. How? Why? She honestly had no idea what to say.]

Sh: woh...actually... [there was no excuse.]

Si: yeh to Riddhima ne mujhe bataya warna mujhe toh kabhi...

[She zoned him out right there. Riddhima? Riddhima told him. Wow. She thought she was strong but Riddhima...just wow. All she could so was smile. But before she could do anything else, Sid grabbed a bunch of papers and began to walk away. Of course she ran after him.]

Sh: Sid...Sid...sorry...kaha na I'm sorry.

[She looked at him, to see if he was responding and she caught something. A smile that he was trying to hide with that forced angered frown if his. Oh Sid!]

Sh: sorry...

Still he didn't budge from that act that he was putting on. He was pretty bad at being the angry type. Shilpa couldn't help but smile. Smile not only at how cute he was looking but smile at the thought that someone was angry because she hadn't talked to them. That had never happened. Just knowing that Sid cared enough to feel this bad gave her this strange sense of belonging. She decided that it was best to let him break from his fake anger on his own and just follow him while enjoying this feeling of content. She did this for probably less than two minutes and as soon as they reached the locker room and Sid started putting his stuff away in his locker, still ignoring her and still obviously sucking in his cheeks trying to hide the smile.

Sh: mujhe itni khushi mil sakti hai...iska yakeen toh mujhe khud nahin hua Sid...toh tumhe kya bata ti...

Just like that, he stopped. He turned and looked at her. All he did to let her know that he understood that he really wasn't angry was smile and nod. An approving nod as well as a supportive nod. She returned his gesture with a smile. And this persisted for about thirty seconds, before Sid's crazy jovial self seemed to take the better of him. His smile very quickly turned from that genuine brotherly smile to a naughty smile. He looked at her and did that thing that people do when they want to inquire some more. He raised his eyebrows multiple times, as if to ask her for more information and tease her all at the same time. All Shilpa do was smile a little, how does one reply to a look like that!

Si: acha...ab badi sharam aa rahi hai...khulle aam jab woh tumhe utha kar ghoom raha tha tab koi sharam nahin thi?

OMG...he saw it too. Her face went red, her eyes opened wide and words jumbled. Not because she was embarrassed about what had happened but because she was embarrassed at having to explain it. If he had seen it, then everyone else must have seen it as well. Lord. But then within moments the embarrassed smile turned into a genuine smile of happiness. That was a pretty great moment she thought. Clearly, she had forgotten that someone was still in front of her.

Si: oh hello!!

She snapped out of it and looked at staring back at her. And within two seconds both of them burst into laughter. At how silly Shilpa looked all mushy and intoxicated on...well Armaan! And at the looks that she had been getting, plus at the fact that Sid had been so clueless for so long. It felt so good to have this moment. These laughs. In this moment of laughter and happiness, she realized something. Something that made her happiness all the more genuine and justified. Standing here and sharing this moment with Sid, made him feel like...feel like...she was even scared to use the word but the feeling was so overwhelming that she just to admit it. This moment made him feel like family, her family.

Though she felt these other things, she didn't let her emotions ruin the moment, the laughter. After about five minutes of literal poking fun at Shilpa, both she and Sid took a sit on the bench in the locker room and just talked for what seemed like hours but was barely 20 minutes. She told him everything. How she had mistakingly said what she felt to him and he had said that he needed time. How she had been devastated by that and the sight of her family so far away from her. The how Armaan had pulled through like a rock and comforted her...Wow, she had really gotten to the point. The point where she could talk about her...her boyfriend. At that she smiled.

Si: ek woh hi hai joh itni der se kuch nahin samajh paya...aage kya hua?

Shilpa smiled and when she was retelling this story, each and every moment seemed like a treasure, an experience of a life time. And while she continued she smiled at times , had teary eyes at others. When she got to the moment when she heard the door bell ring that night and opened it to see an emotional Armaan, she paused, took a deep breath and shifted her gaze away from Sid to look towards the door and imagine him there. And then with sheer joy and utmost joy, she said what he said that night and changed her life.

Sh: "ab jab baarish..."

[There was silence. Both Sid and Shilpa smiled and tried to keep their moist eyes under control. Both took a second to appreciate the moment and then when finally she looked at him he asked,]

Si: phir...

[There was only one answer.]

Sh: phir kya...bas...dil mil gaye...

Again, there was silence. Wow, did she really just say that? Had he made her this giddy that she said something as dramatic and...oh heck as cheesy at that? She looked at Sid and it was obvious that he was as amused by her choice of words as she was. Both took a moment to just come to terms with what she said and like some minutes ago, burst into spontaneous laughter. And then after about ten minutes...

Si: Shilpa...

[The sudden sense of seriousness in his voice startled her. She turned and looked at him. He was hesitating, as if he didn't want to say what he was about to. Of course this worried her.

Si...woh...main tumhari khushi ke beech mein nahin aana chahata lekin hum dost hain isi liye...

Sh: Sid...you can tell me... [Plus, the tension was really getting to her.]

Si: tumhe nahin lagta ki tumhe bhi Riddhima ko kuch bata na chahiye...

[Her heart stopped and her facial expression froze. Oh.]

Si: main...I mean...I won't...

He too felt bad for having reminded her of something so depressing when she was clearly so happy, but he just had to. He really did. Little did he know that Shilpa never forgets that, ever. All she had managed to do was not let it overshadow all the other good things in her life, all the love, all the...Armaan. If this was any other time, and she didn't have his smile, and his touch so deeply in her mind she would have broken but she didn't. She surprised even herself. She smiled, looked at Sid and simply gave him a nod. A nod that said that she knew and that she would deal with it...eventually. He too smiled and nodded. But of course, it wouldn't be Sid and Shilpa if there wasn't some fun.

Si: kuch zaada hi serious ho gaya tha na? ...chal lets talk about your kiss again

Sh: WHAT?

He saw that? That too? She tried her best to try and cover the blushing and the obvious sense of embarrassment but it wasn't working. He teased, she blushed and she teased and he laughed. This must have gone on for about another twenty minutes before both were called away. They hugged, promised that they would sit and chat more often and headed off to get on with their duties.

She saw Armaan everywhere. In every single patient, in every other doctor, in every staff, and basically in every single corner of this hospital. Everything reminded her of him and it all made her smile like a little girl and the occasional lip biting added to this ecstasy that she felt. If ever there was a feeling of bliss, this was it. And she wasn't alone. Though he had been in bed for half an hour now, he was no less awake than he had been earlier. There was just constantly something about her in his mind, her smile, her eyes, he'd remember something she had said, he could still feel the sensation of carrying her across the hall and then of course...the kiss. She walked the corridors of Sanjeevani thinking of him and he lay there in his bed dreaming of her. Both in complete disbelief of having been so lucky to get here.

Once they had reached this stage, being in love wasn't something they had to do, it was just something that was there. They didn't think about they just were. It was as second nature as breathing. The next two weeks passed just like this. Just a constant and never ending state of bliss. What a feeling. Romance was literally everywhere. The terrace, the lockers, the halls, the parking, the outdoors, the indoors, every single gosh darn square inch of space seemed romantic. The ride to the hospital in the morning and then back, all of it had become so much a part of their daily lives that it seemed as if one wouldn't be able to live without it. There was no more thinking about what to do or what to say, it just happened.

Life finally seemed to reach a stage where Shilpa didn't have to work hard at finding things to smile about. Armaan seemed to always to do that for her. For Armaan there was this joy of always doing this and that for her. He loved coming up with things to say or new ways of flirting. His most favorite moment was usually at the nurse station when he would lean over her saying that he just had to get the file on the other end of the counter. Of course when he would lean over he always blew on her ear, she would not only blush but actually shiver a little. Or when she was at her locker, he would come up behind her and pretend he too was looking for something and then of course grab a hold of her hand. The joy he got from seeing her face when she blushed or when was genuinely touched was just the best feeling. But if he had to be honest what he was enjoying the most was the little things. Just waiting there on his bike for her to run out after her shift was inexplicable. Plus the butterflies they both got from just thinking about that kiss made both of them smile. It was like that hangover would never end.

But despite all that there was something that had been on her mind since that night. Every single day since then for that matter. Would she ever have that courage again? Every time he did something cute, romantic, or just plain Armaan, she would want to reciprocate but never knew how to? These thoughts and these questions got worse when this couple had come in this morning after having been in small car accident. When she had asked what happened they told her that she had always wanted to drive in a open roof convertible in the rain all her life and today they finally did it. And at that moment she had asked herself, would she ever be able to tell Armaan what she wanted to do? Would she ever have confidence to just look at him and say, look I want to dance in the rain. She had always wanted to, but could she ever tell him?

For so long she had pictured what having someone would be like that she had almost forgotten how one could be normal and just be themselves. So many silly dreams and fantasies she had fostered for so many years, that she just didn't know how to forget them and even worse she didn't know how to tell Armaan about them. That kiss, was just in the moment, she had always something like that when the moment arrived she seized it. But could that happen again? Would there be more moments like that? Would there ever be a moment where she could just be that teenage girl who had always to dance in the rain? She hated herself for always over complicating things and ruining all the good things in her life, but this was serious. Right? This was something to think about, no? Was she just being swayed by something she had seen? So what if she didn't tell him all this? It was probably best this way, the last thing she needed was for him to think that she was crazy, immature or silly. Right...this was good.

As the day was coming to an end and it was almost time for her to head home, she had convinced to let all these things go and just enjoy the sheer amount of good things that life had suddenly thrown her way. Just take in each moment and relish it, she told herself. And that wasn't going to be hard at all...it was moments with Armaan after all. That thought seemed to cheer her up a little and obviously she did enjoy every moment. Just about ten minutes before her duties for the day came to an end, Armaan had text letting her know that he would be working late tonight and that she should probably leave early and get home safely. Of course the fact it was the monsoons he had been even more paranoid about how she would get home. She loved being taken care of like this, every text made her smile and blush a little. She loved knowing that there was someone thinking about her. She was so happy when she would think of Armaan worrying about her. Of course the romance and all the love was just overwhelming but what she had really enjoyed in the last few weeks was the fact that he cared. He thought of her. He wanted to make sure she was always alright. See, she said to herself, you were worried for no reason. This is what really mattered. Not the silly things that she had been thinking about. So with these bitter sweet thoughts she made her way home. So what if the rain made her miss him? So what if all she wanted to do was stop the taxi and jump outside and just let the rain drench her. After all the emotional and deep moments that she and Armaan had shared, silly things like this had no place. She ran inside and after about an hour and a half, he called her. Of course he would, she had been waiting for this.

S: hello?

A: I'm sorry...

[What? Why?]

A: tumhe aaj drop nahin kar paya...

[She just smiled and shook her head. How on earth had this happened to her? How on earth was he just so irresistibly amazing?]

S: Armaan...please...

[She didn't know what else to say. There was nothing else to say. She just let the silence of the moment seep in before taking a seat by the window.]

S: aaj itni late kyun ho gaye?

A: haan aaj ek emergency aa gayi thi...tum toh dheek dhaak pahuanch gayi na?

S: Armaan! [She chuckled again.]

A: what? tumhari jaisi khoobsurat ladki ka ghar akele jaana dheek bhi toh nahin hai

[She just pictured him sitting there with that grin on his face while he said that and it made her smile even more.]

S: tum koi mauka nahin chod te na...

[He loved this about her. It was one of things he loved most actually. She could take any moment and make ten times sweeter. He loved how much she loved him for loving her. He little chuckles made him smile and flash his dimples left right and center.]

A: kabhi nahin...

S: acha yeh sab chodo...tum ghar pahaunch gaye?

A: nahin...I'm waiting at Sanjeevani...bahut baarish ho rahi hai...

S: KYA?

[He was waiting inside while it was raining? Why on earth would he do that? Wasting a perfect, gorgeous rainy night?]

S: itna khoobsurat mausam hai...aur tum andar ho...look at it outside...kitna acha lagta hoga baarish mein...aur yeh dhandi hawa...kitna pyaara lagta hai... [Uh-oh. She did not intend for that outburst.] ... I mean...actually...woh kya hai na...

Wait, what was going on? He had rarely heard such joy in her voice. The only time he heard this kind of cheer in her voice was when a few days ago she had been talking about her dancing. Oh...he got it! Why wouldn't she tell him? Why didn't she tell him? Didn't she think he would want to know, he would want her to share that with him?

A: Shilpa...I'll call you back.

Just like that he hung up. Out of the blue. She had known this would happen, of course it would happen. How else would he react when she talked about something as silly as rain. She probably scared him, or even worse embarrassed herself. Hopefully by tomorrow he would forget all about this, and hopefully she would wake up and all these stupid and girlish thoughts will disappear. Plus, when she sees Armaan in the morning, the last thing she would want on her mind would be something like this. But should she call him back? Just to make sure? Fifteen minutes after he had hung up, she was still wondering the same thing, whether to call back, or just ignore the fact that something was definitely up. Fortunately or unfortunately for her, he didn't seem to be in the mood to ignore anything. She should have known he would call back. She took a deep breath, literally forced her nerves to calm down and picked up.

S: he... [He didn't let her finish.]

A: bahar aao...

S: what?

A: Shilpa JALDI!!

What on earth was going on? She dropped the phone and ran to the door. Literally sprinted to the door. And as soon as she swung the door open, her heart and her nerves seemed to have lost all control. Her knees were just a moment away from giving in to this sight and she literally had goosebumps from the sheer thrill of what was in front of her. Armaan...absolutely drenched and looking at her with that smile on his face. And then within another thirty seconds he winked at her before getting off the bike and she knew that if she died of a heart attack right here right now she wouldn't mind it. But little did she know, if just seeing him did this, hearing what he had to say would literally obliterate any restraint she had on her emotions. So dripping wet, and standing there in the pouring rain he spoke and made sure she knew how absolutely loved she was.

A: kehe nahin sakti thi...ki Armaan abhi abhi mere ghar aa jao...Armaan baarish mein dance karne ka mann hai...Armaan tumse pyaar karne ka mann hai...kehe nahin sakti thi...

How? How was this much happiness possible? How was it possible for him to be able to read her that well? How could he tell exactly what she was feeling? Where did he get this power from. What made it so hard for her to control her tears. Tears not only of joy but of actual, literal gratitude. Was she even allowed to be this happy? Was there supposed to be so much love in her life? She stood looking at him and realized, for the first time ever...that she didn't care about the answer. Whether it was allowed or whether it was supposed to be this way. All that mattered was that the man standing there loved her, and loved her so much that he had managed to see that teenage Shilpa that she had even hidden from herself.

A: tum aaj tak nahin samajh payi...tumhe haq hai Shilpa...pura haq hai...