Chupanke Ki Saaza
-PART 27-
Decisions
RING RING
Bani moaned, as the shrill ring of the phone crept through her sleep. She fruitlessly pulled up the covers over her head to silence the sound and when that didn't work, took a pillow and pressed it to her ear. She hated being woken up!
As she began drifting back to sleep, she felt a warm hand touch her bare shoulder.
"Bani," someone said in a vaguely familiar voice.
When she didn't respond, the hand shook her a little. "Uto, Bani. We have to go."
Bani opened her eyes with difficulty (her eyelids insisted on flopping back down!) to find Jai leaning over her. A grin spread across her face as memories, now only a few hours old, came back to her. She looked around to find herself in bed in a darkend room. At some point last night, Jai picked her up in his arms and carried her to one of the rooms upstairs. She didn't it notice then, but now it was very clear that it was the master bedroom. The bed was king sized, and the windows literally took one entire side of the room.
"Bani," Jai said urgently, causing her head to snap back to his face. A blush crept through her face as her eyes involuntarily travelled down to his bare chest. She could remember running her hands over him a bit too clearly.
"We have to go," he repeated. And it was at that point that she finally registered his expression. He was very worried.
"What happened?" she asked in a hoarse voice, for she was still very much sleepy.
"Rano went into early labour," he announced in a solemn voice. "It's… It's bad."
The drowsiness vanished, as fear suddenly gripped Bani. She sat up immediately, pulling the sheets around her as an unnatural cold that had nothing to do with the weather came over her.
"How…. When…" she struggled to find words. There were so many thing running through her head.
Jai shook his head. "I don't know… we have to go. Now!"
She didn't need telling twice. They both dressed quickly in silence lost in fears of their own. There was no time to waste and within a few minutes they were speeding through the highway.
Bani looked out the window, trying to keep her thoughts at bay. It was still very dark outside, but the storm cleared. However the calmness only made her more anxious. She peeked a glance at Jai, who was determinedly staring at the road in front of them. He was clutching the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles appeared white. She had no idea what was going on behind his blank stare, but was sure it contained most of the panic that filled her.
It was only yesterday that Rano was sitting with them… deciding the room colours of the baby. She was perfectly healthy!Then, how did she end up in such a serious condition all of a sudden?
Within no time, Jai pulled up in the parking lot of the hospital and ran inside, Bani at his heels. After a quick talk with the receptionist, they were racing up to the third floor, where they found the rest of the family waiting.
Jai went straight to an emotionless Ranveer, who was sitting in a corner, staring aimlessly at the floor. Bani's heart was wrenched to see his condition. It was as if there was no life in him.
Turning away, she went to Krishna, who was standing beside the door, while Uday was pacing the floor.
"What happened?" she asked quietly.
Tears streaked Krishna's face as she answered in a worried voice. "We were eating dinner and all of a sudden, Rano started having pain in her abdomen. She was complaining about backache for a two days now, but we thought it was normal because she was carrying such a heavy load… But Ranveer just rushed her to the hospital. He didn't want to take the risk. And soon as we came, they took her to the surgery room and we have been here ever since."
"What did the Doctor say?"
"They only said was she was in labour."
"But there is still three weeks till her due date," Bani argued.
"I know," Krishna replied. "The doctor says they baby might be premature. So they want to do scans before they operate. But the contractions have started… they are going to have to deliver soon."
"But if the baby is premature, the chances of survival…" Bani began, but she couldn't get herself to finish. The thought was too painful to bear.
"I know," Krishna whispered. "And Rano has high blood pressure… its creating more problems."
Bani couldn't ask more. Each word Krishna was uttering was making her feel worse. Her eyes then fell on Ranveer, who was still hunched up in his seat. Jai was sitting beside him, a hand on his shoulder. There was no other communication between the brothers, but it apparently seemed enough.
"How is Ranveer?" she asked.
Krishna glanced at him, before saying "He hasn't said a word…"
Finally after what seemed like years, a nurse emerged from the room.
"How is Rano?" Uday asked.
"We are operating," was the only thing she said, before disappearing into another room.
Ranveer's face blanched as he heard the news.
"It will be okay Ranveer," Krishna said, watching him tearfully.
But he didn't answer. It was as if their words of comfort were far out of reach from him.
The Doctor appeared a few minutes later, muttering instructions to the nurse.
"Dr. Mathur," Krishna called, hopefully. "Is everything going to be alright?"
The lady paused and stared at the family gravely. She seemed to think for a few seconds before saying, "I unfortunately cannot make any promises Mrs. Walia. The pregnancy is complicated, as I have informed you before. Don't have any expectations is my advice to you."
Fresh tears slipped through Krishna's eyes, as she hastily looked away from the Doctor.
"But they will make it… won't they?" Bani asked uncertainly.
"I don't know," the doctor replied, with a shrug. "In many cases like this, the mother's chances are not too good. We try not to deliever in such situations, but seeing that the contractions have started… there is not much we can do."
Bani felt fury build up at the doctor, who it appeared, didn't even feel inclined to give assurances. But before she could say anything, Dr. Mathur made her way to the surgery room. She stopped at the frozen figure of Ranveer and said, a lot more gently:
"We will try our best."
Ranveer gave a small nod as she disappeared into the room.
"Ran…" Jai said at last. "Rano ko kuch nahi hoga. You won't let anything happen to her…"
Ranveer buried his face into his hands, as anguish threatened to engulf him. He found himself completely hopeless… there was nothing he could do but wait for the doctors to take care of it. For the first time in his life, he felt useless. What was the point of earning so much money, when he couldn't even ensure that his wife and child can make it through?
As these thought continued to haunt him, the Walias anxiously waited for some news. Finally, after what seemed like an endless hour, the door of the surgery room opened to reveal a tired, but satisfied Dr. Mathur.
"Congratulations," she announced. "It's a girl!"
Her words finally seemed to have broken through Ranveer's shell. A small sense of relief appeared on his face as he hastily stood up.
"And Rano?" he asked.
At this, the doctor couldn't help but smile. She watched Ranveer very closely during the last couple of months. And for the first time in her career, she was more worried about his condition than that of her patient, because she knew that he wouldn't survive if anything happened to Rano. Even though she rarely saw him, for he seldom accompanied Rano on appointments, it was very easy to pick up the utmost care he had for his wife. She didn't even know how he would react, if Rano didn't make it through.
"She is fine too…," Dr. Mathur replied. "A complicated surgery, but she did alright. I got to say Mr. Walia, she is one lucky girl. Now, please excuse me."
And with that she left the family to rejoice. Ranveer rushed into the room to find Rano sitting on the bed, with a small smile playing on her lips.
"Rano," he breathed, burying his face in her hair.
"Veer," she said soothingly as her arms automatically went around him. "It's okay… everything is fine." It seemed she didn't have to see him to know his condition for the last few hours.
But he didn't let go. He held on to her as if his life depended on it.
"Veer," she said, patting him gently. "Dekho… main teek hoon. Its over…"
Ranveer finally lifted his head and cupped her face. "I thought… I thought I would never-"
She silenced him with a finger on his lips. "Shhh… main tumhe chod kar kahan jaoongi? You are the only one who can put up with me, silly!"
A small smile spread across his face for the first time that whole day.
"Aab mujhe chodoge?" she said, grinning. "Mujhe meri baby chahiye!"
And it finally seemed to hit Ranveer that he was a father! He looked around to find the crib right beside him. Excited like a small child with chocolate, he picked up the baby, wrapped in white cotton blankets and carried her to Rano's awaiting arms.
"My baby," she whispered, staring at the angelic face. There was no words to describe the joy she felt at that moment.
Ranveer wrapped his arm around Rano and said teasingly, "You finally have competition. My little girl is only a few minutes old, and she is already so beauitful!"
Rano laughed. "There is no competition. She is definetly prettier than me!"
"Kya aab meri baari hai, apni poti ko dekhne ke liye?" Krishna asked, laughing along with the couple.
Bani watched the family infront of her as a stab of jealousy hit her. It was impossible not to feel awed by the devotion Ranveer had for his wife or the love Rano had for her child. Standing from the back of the room, she saw only happiness around her, which will never be in her fate.
But what hurt more was the fact that she knew it was wrong. Rano was her best friend, she stood by her at all times and Ranveer definetlydeserved that happiness. But yet, she couldn't help the envy spreading through her veins. She would probably never have that… she would never experience the joy of seeing her child for the first time, because the only man with who she would ever want a baby, happened to be the one she was divorcing.
Not being able to watch the scene infront of her, she quietly slipped out of the room and wandered aimlessly through the hospital. Small beads of guilt were now coursing through her for she knew Rano didn't deserve this resentment. But she was human afterall… she had desires like everyone else.
She eventually came to a stop near a window and stared out into the silent city of Mumbai. Dawn appeared to be only a few minute away, but she only saw her future, spread out like a lonely road, twisting down some dark and depressing path. She suddenly felt someone behind her and even without turning, knew who it was.
"Go away," she muttered, not wanting to put her petty, girlish dreams in front him.
Jai took a step forward and asked, "kya hua?"
Bani closed her eyes wishing the pricking in her eyes would vanish. But a tear still managed to escape. She felt his hands cup her face, gently tugging her to look at him. Except his touch seemed to have unlocked the well inside her, for her tears began spilling openly. And suddenly, without her mind even willing it, she buried her head in his chest.
Jai let out a sigh as he wrapped his arms around her. He watched her very closely for the last few minutes and he didn't have to think hard to know what upset her.
"Kyun Jai?" she said, her voice muffled. "What did I ever do?"
He gently stroked her hair. "You did nothing Bani…"
"Ofcourse I did," she continued. "Because I know I will never be in a room like that, holding a baby of my own!"
"Who said it can't be you?"
"Because we are getting…" divorced! Only, she couldn't say it out loud. It would make it that much more real.
However, he seemed to hear her thoughts like always. "You can start over again…"
Bani looked up at him with a tear stained face. "I want it to be us in there Jai… I want to hold our baby!"
Jai was quiet. The decision was not upto him (if it was, she would already be carrying their child!).
"Its not fair," she said finally. "Its not fair that my sister is dead and its definetly not fair that the reason for it is-"
Bani suddenly paused. Yes, they went over this issue yesterday and surprisingly, most of her accepted that he was innocent - he suffered enough without her adding to his punishment. And yet, she couldn't let go of that fact that she owed her sister some justice. Was there any way out of this dilemma then?
"Me," he said, finishing her sentence.
But she didn't seem to hear him. "Its not fair," she repeated, shaking her head. "Its absolutely insane!"
"Bani listen to me," he said, but she merely looked out the window. She didn't want to hear him blaming himself again and neither did she want him to offer consolance. Even he, who always seemed to know how she felt better than anyone else, didn't understand her pain right now.
So, they stood there, not knowing for how long, both staring at the rising sun, trying shed some light on their complicated relationship.
"I'm a bad person, right?" Bani said finally, leaning her head against his chest. "Rano always considered me as her sister, she always stood by me in every situation… and instead of being happy for her, I got jealous of her happiness… Maybe that's why this is happening to me. That's why I will never have a life like hers."
Jai began stroking her hair once again. "Jealousy is part of human nature Bani," he said gently. "It doesn't make you a bad person at all, it just proves that you are human too. And life does that… over and over again, so that you can understand what it means to live. Whats the point of having a simple life, if you don't even know the value of it?"
Bani listened to his words in silence. And when she didn't reply, he continued and said "What's fair and what's not is not up to us to decide… You just have to make the best of whatever comes your way. Sometimes, its just a matter of how you look at it."
"And what if there is no way to look at it?" she challenged.
"Then you are not thinking hard enough," he answered simply. "Even if you are confused, your heart isn't. Just listen to what it says sometimes… it might actually know better than you."
Bani pondered over his words, wondering what her heart wanted. But even before she came close to the answer, Krishna's voice interrupted the silence.
"Bani?"
The duo broke apart and Bani grudgingly turned to see her mother-in-law. She wanted to remain in Jai's arms, for it was so much more easier to know what she wanted and what she didn't.
"Rano is calling you," Krishna continued, a slight smile on her lips. She was no doubt happy about the closeness between the two. "We are going to go home and freshen up. Rano wants you to stay until then."
Bani nodded, and slowly made her way back to the room. She was disappointed however, to see that Jai didn't follow.
"Congrats Rano," she said, her voice still a little hollow from the recent tears.
Rano smiled brightly, thankfully finding nothing amiss. She was sitting up on the bed, the baby asleep in her arms.
"Ranveer kahan hai?" Bani asked, taking a seat beside her. She couldn't imagine him staying away from Rano for longer than minute!
"Went to talk to the doctor. But woh saab chod," she said, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. "Tu bata. Farmhouse kaisa tha?"
Bani suddenly understood the reason behind Rano's request to see her. She wanted details on the short trip, which now she thought about it, was definetly orchestrated by her.
"You planned it, didn't you?" Bani asked, narrowing her eyes.
Rano shrugged. "Toh?"
Bani shook her head in exasperation.
"Toh kuch hua?" Rano asked, the grin back on her face.
And suddenly, Bani's face burned, as she slowly turned scarlet. She inwardly cursed herself for giving herself away. This was not a conversation she wanted to have.
"Oh my gosh," Rano squealed, sitting up higher on the bed. "Tell me everything!"
Bani took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, but sadly the blush didn't leave her cheeks. "We… we talked… and then… I kinda…"
Recollecting the previous nights events was both blissful and painful. She could remember every single kiss, infact, she could still feel his lips on hers. But, she also knew that it was probably the last time she would ever kiss him.
"Bani?" Rano called. "Whats wrong?"
"Nothing," she replied, dully. "Its just… I don't think we have made up… there are still things that we… I need to figure out."
"You love him, right?"
"Of course I do."
Rano understood that she wasn't going to get any more info about the matter. She let out a sigh and absent-mindely began stroking the baby in her lap.
"What are you going to name her?" Bani asked, suddenly.
Rano looked up and was surprised to see longing in her best-friend's eyes. It was then that she realized what was wrong. "Do you want hold her?" she asked softly.
And without waiting for an answer, she placed the small bundle in Bani's arms.
Bani was awed as she stared at the innocent face in her arms. It felt so perfect and so right. And yet, there was a nagging voice at the back of her head. She is not yours…
"Tumhe bhi chahiye na?" Rano asked, continuing to watch her. When Bani didn't reply, she put her hand on her shoulder and said "Jab tum jaanthi ho tumhe kya chahiye, ziddi kyun ban rahi ho?"
And suddenly Bani understood. What her heart wanted… what she wanted, and most importantly what she had to do. She quietly handed the baby back to Rano and stood up determinedly; her decision was made.
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Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
CID
41