FF-Remorse-M&G-THREAD 7 - Page 8

Maan couldn't take it anymore. He hide his face in shame... His heart screamed for her... His heart cried for her. The remorse... It was only the beginning... It will hunt him every second. Every minute. Every day. He cried... & cried... The tears wasn't enough at all. He felt his heart would die any minute soon with the rapid heart beats... He will die.. Every word.. Every word... Only told him how much he meant for her... How much she loved him.... He cried louder'.

"My plaster is off today... I only wrote maan on it! Everyone thought I have gone mad! :( am I mad? Maybe madly in love with my maan."

Maan tried to feel every word. Every point where she laid her pen. He cried. He stroke the whole page madly... To feel how much love was hidden in those words... How much care...

He turned to the next page... It was ripped! He wondered why? Then the next... It was blank... He turned hurriedly in to few... Round about half way there was few line... "I miss him! I haven't seen him for few years now! I was dying to see his face on my birthday. Do you think god will be nice enough to show me his face? Those each line of each page... I looked at it several time to wright something... But I never seen him. Only his picture... Look!"

Maan turns to the wall... A wall full of him with achievements... Girls... Parties... He hated the thought... He hated what must have went through her seeing his love with someone els... Because he couldn't bare anyone with geet. He could never see her with anyone... Yet just to see him she was ready to endure anything...

"oh do you know, I was surprised today... I seen kesar & maan driving pass me. Oh I am so happy. After so many months... Wouldn't you say its a miracle... No! No! More then that... I really don't know if he have seen me or not... I am sure even if had he wouldn't have spoken to me. Why would he... I am no fame.. I am no rich... I am nothing... Why would he?"

Each word perched maans heart. His geet was there... Right there... She waited for him.. Every second.. Every moment... He waited for him... He cried.... Its been only few pages that he read, but his tears were endless... He scooped all the diaries ... & took them with him. He wanted geet with him... He wanted geet to be there. He wanted her love... How selfish he is... Worthless... He does not deserve anything. Anything...

He sat on the floor. Each direy very close to his heart.... Crying... He picked up the 2nd diry...

"do you know love is very weird... I am living without seeing him... Living with out his presence... Living without his smile... Tears... The joy. I could kill the world for his one look. I could die for his one word... Love... I sometime wonder, have I gone mad? Of course I haven't. How could i... I know my heart... I know my love... What was the meaning of my love... Were there any meaning? Love does not have any meaning... Silly ridzy asked me I have gone mad... I am insane... I laughed... Of course I was. I was madly in love with him. His one look.. One glimpse was enough. He was everything to me. Everything I could posibbly ever imagine....

Wish I could tell him how much this mere heart loves him... It probably worth nothing to how much love he have from everyone... But will he accept my small love? Will you maan? Will you?"

Maan hide his face again.... Crying... Screaming... His mind was specless with how much his geet used to love him.. What he was to her... What have he done....

"will you maan?" the question startted to hunt him. He wanted to screa out the answer.. "yes!... Yes... YES.. YES I LOVE YOU" how could he tell her those love is precious to him. It worth more then any love... A mere word of "love" its nothing compare to her emotion... Its nothing...

"will you maan? I don't know... If someone tells me to explain my love..... Do you know what will I say... If you ever kiss me... The first kiss will be our love..." maans breath left him... His heart was refuging to read further... Not a single word... Not any more.... There first kiss... What KISS? Whose kiss... He cried. He closed his eyes... Tears were rolling down his eyes... Endless tears... Remoras. His heart was in pain...

"will you ever love me like the way I do? .... Uff.... How silly of me asking this. You don't even know me... I am long forgotten na!... How & why would you remember me... To remember you need a reason na... But you have no reason to remember me!"

Maan "no... No.. NO... I have many reason to remember you... You are my world.. Every second.. Every moment I have spend with you... They are my reason to remember you... Please come back! Please don't leave me... Please......"

"I have always heart you... Haven't i. I am sorry... I know maama & pappa done our marriage... Per... Pe....................... I know you don't want to confess.. Per can i? Pleas!... Thats the only dream I have left... That never shattered.. Can I please!"

Maan couldn't speak from sobbing. "yes... Yes;... YES" each word... Those word he have missed... It felt like geet was talking... Its his geet. The geet who loved him once....

"even if you say no I will still think you as my husband. You can't take that way from me..."

Maan" NO..NO.. How could i? You have all the right on me... I am only yours..."

" I have seen you today. You hated my mere presence. It hurts. Allot... I cried... Cried all night long. Kesar came round.. But even that did not help... I hard dadi she will send kesar way. Far way. I don't want that... Please use rook lo.... Please.... Please tum kuch karo na... Use rok lo.." maan cried louder... "wish I did... Wish I have listened to you. Wish I never let ... Why can't I turn this clock back? Why can't I have those time back.. Why it hunts me day & night. I want to die geet. I want to leave this world... Why don't you punish me? Why you left me here..... Why don't you kill me..."

Maan laid on the floor... Surrounded by page after page... His picture... His achievement... His fake happiness... His fake friends... His fake world.. He wanted to burn them down... Burn everything down... & burn him self with the scotching fire.. Kill him... This remorses'

seems like mu lucky day....

Originally posted by: aashluvsmaan

seems like mu lucky day....

got both u and muskaan ka first spot...

keya u back to waht u are briaaliant at..

playing with anger n pain n regrets...i can feel each n every word....painful...imagine the plight of my poor maan who is actually living thru this all...

who is kesar?? did i miss something here???😕😕😕

naya banda introduce ki tune???

and me still waiting for the revelation of who paid hospital bills....now me thinking...was it this kesar fellow?????

Originally posted by: FIRESafiReFIRE

more about him later' :D

for now' you can guess he is maans bro' actually the main name i thought was vicky of course.. since begining' but lol.. me loving this kesar name.. so :D

& thank you hun' i am glad you liking this.. i will try to give 3 again 2mx' me want to get rid all this sad sad parts.. want some sweet sweet moment.. eventhou u can guss its far way'

xxxx