Heeey Anku, so I typing this on an MS word document as I re-read the piece, this way I can give a more thorogh review :D
Okay first things first, as I writer you've hit the nail on the ample amount that needs to be written in speech, but I have one small suggestion, you can add a bit more description to the characters gestures, I mean you are doing a fab job with bringing in the actions, but you could if you wanted add a little further description...
For example if you are writing about Armaan or Riddhima getting annoyed as they are spurging their verbal attacks
at one another... here's the first random example that comes to mind
'Riddhima furrowed her brows inquisitively hearing his response'
'his face contorted into rage, throwing his fists in the air he angrily retorted'
Adding a few more descriptive gestures before or after the speech draws more visualization <3
Feel free to completely ignore my nonsense sometimes, I have a tendency to blabber!! and I myself am,no pro so I don't know what's right, I was just giving my POV, and you can happily tell me to shut up if you wish to do so.hehe :$
Technical stuff aside, want to comment on the part itself now :D My fave bit hehe
Riddhima
Riddhimas judgement it seems at first is a tad haywire and just LOVELOVELOVE I see nothing else, but it is understandable! I mean the poor girl is going through so much, to a certain extent we can't blame her thought process turning gooey and focusing on just pyaar but that doesn't make it right and that is what Armaan very beautifully explained to her. GREAT JOB ANKU!! :D
Armaan
You think it has been easy for me all this while, to see you go through all you did. Tumhe lagta hai I haven't suffered any kind of pain myself or that I didn't feel anything seeing you go through the same ? Tumhare liye ye sab mushkil tha , toh it wasn't a party for me either Riddhima. You feel it is easy for me to let you go, for two f**king months? OF COURSE NOT! "
Reading this made me a happy bunny!! :D GO ARMAAN, pshh I ama little biased towards him anyway ahaha xD but seriously Armaan and profanity, something which is rarely seen is quite sexy hahahaha xD... No people I am not agreeing with swearing... don't take me that seriously hahaha... On a more serious note, I love how he has just let loose the thought he had kept concealed, otherwise we are used to Riddhima trampling over his thoughts/feelings without any care... I love how he simply unleashed his raw emotion without a second thought... GO ARMAAN!!!!
Mera aur Muski ka plan. Hum jaante the, ki ghee seedhi ungli se nahi niklega toh humne ungli tedi kardi," he smirked.
Classic Armaan!!!! LOVED ITTT hehe you have succesfully and beautifully managed to intertwine Armaans nhok jhok personality traits within such a serious situation, Ahh Anku I LOVEEED it!!!
How much ever we love each other Basket, it cannot be reason enough to decide not to get treated.
Remember in my previous comment I stated that one of AR cannot have clouded judgement, I am glad it was Armaan who showed her the right approach!! My prediction was TRUE woopwoop!! :D i am happy he showed her the difference between right and wrong... :D
AR's relationship
"Haan Basketji patah hai, but may I know the reason for this beautiful confession. "
Ahhh I LOVED this!!!! It just made reading all the more pleasurable and so damn realistic in terms of AR, cos it's something I could imagine!!! and the whole adding 'beautiful confession' was the icing on the cake :D :D, I simply just LOVED it hehe
Muski
I ABSOLUTELY LOOOVED every dialogue of hers... from her mocking their 'romance hour' to being a 'vent wall' hahahah, it really was sheer brilliance!!
AHH ANKU this has to be my FAVOURITE part till date due to the emotions that have unfolded and perspectives that have changed and most importantly UNDERSTANDING between the two being undertaken!!
I LOVED it and i thoroughly look forward to the next part... first part to Riddhimas road to recovery... it's not gonna be easy, I imagine there are gonna be times where she will cry, want to give up, but Armaan will be there standing beside her and giving her the strength she needs
Loooads of love, and keep up the fab work
Hannahxo
p.s I COMPLETELY ignored 2 res boxes aha xD
Anupamaa
Real Estate
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