Core of My Existence(AR Story)Nextthreadlink150 - Page 80

She rolled her chair outside the room, and was expecting an eerie silence to welcome her, but she heard cheerful voices from the kitchen. She was pretty surprised because she could very well recognize the both. One was of her love, whose every breath was known to her, and second was a voice anyone could memorize, if he or she heard it once in their life, obviously Muskaan's. She went to the kitchen to see both of them preparing their brunch together, laughing and talking God knows what, as if nothing had happened. Muskaan would obviously know about all of it, Armaan must have told her before coming to her. She frowned at how unaffected Armaan was, whether by her words or the impending decision about her treatment. Both of them saw Riddhima at the door, and instantly stopped giggling. Armaan frowned and looked away , and Muskaan took it upon her to break the silence, as usual. She went over to Riddhima and bend down to hug her a good morning. "Good Morning Ridzie! Slept well ? " Riddhima looked at her cheerful voice and wondered if she even knew anything, and if she did, then she was troubled by the fact about how unaffected both of them were. Were they happy because she was going to go away from them? Or had they just put up their arms in defeat and accepted her decision.

While she was yet wondering, she heard Armaan announce "Foods ready. " She saw him walk away and was taken aback when he did not as much as spare a glance to her. "Mujhe bhook nahi hai, "she declared. She was angry and upset at him no doubt, but she obviously could not digest such cold behavior from him either, she had all the rights to be mad at him for what he had done, but why was he being so cold? She reminded herself of how she had hurt him, but defended herself again that even he had used harsh words with her. She knew not eating food or her medicine was the only way to get Armaan to talk to her but surprisingly her plan just backfired royally. "Muski chal aana, I am damn hungry, " he said ignoring Riddhima's announcement and sat down on the dining table and served himself Riddhima's favourite pasta and begun eating.

Riddhima's mouth was open in shock , she wondered if it was Armaan in front of her eyes. In the last 6 months he had never eaten a morsel without her. He wouldn't eat before he was sure she had been well fed. And today he had actually ignored her, even ignored the fact that she hadn't eaten anything and was even eating himself. She wasn't even hurt, she was just too shocked to feel anything else, and rolled her wheelchair and went in her room. She had expected him to behave cold with her, probably be hurt by all she had said. But him behaving in this manner put her into a maze of thoughts she couldn't find her way through.

Muskaan sighed at the sight before her. The two people who loved each other the most, who were each other's only family were at loggerheads , and that too only for the other. She didn't know whether to laugh or to cry at the love they had for each other. She went over to Armaan and patted his shoulder in understanding. He looked at her and back at his untouched plate again. "Armaan, Riddhima ne subah se kuch khaya nahi hai, aur abhi.. don't you think its.. "she stopped abruptly when Armaan looked up at her sternly. Armaan softened and almost hid his giggle at seeing Muskaan lost for words , for once. "Muski, you think it isn't bothering me that she hasn't eaten. I myself won't be able to gulp down anything before she has. "Then looking at her , a naughty grin forming on his face, " You don't worry, she is just being her stubborn self. You just watch out how she'll sneak in the kitchen to eat later." he said giggling, making Muskaan smile at him affectionately." She can hate on anything and everything but her food, unless its something really bad' Iss bar toh ye bass uski zidd hai, aur shayad ab toh who bhi bhool chuki hai ki who zid kyun kar rahi hai." And then softly added, "It is just her fear, a fear that she knows is baseless, but she doesn't want to face it.. only if she faces it she'll BELIEVE it as well. "

Muskaan patted Armaan's shoulder again and nodded at him in assurance when he looked at her. "I am proud of you Armaan." She tried telling him how he was doing the right thing, and he wasn't alone and how she was with him in this, and they both would be together and fight this situation for the one person they loved so much, whose life could change towards the better only with one right decision.

Armaan smiled back at her and telling her to eat her breakfast, went down to the care centre, to take care of his work there. Muskaan ate and cleaned up the living area. She thought about Armaan and Riddhima and their love for each other, and her heart swelled with pride to have such amazing friends.

At the same time her heart felt immense pain , as the feeling of hurt returned. The hurt and pain that she had been suffering with, ever since Rahul had left her, left her after promising her so much love.

She craved for his love, his affection, but all the trust she had on him was now lost, he had lost it long back, because he had always gone back on his words. She couldn't understand how selfish he could be. She could understand his plight on having faced a truth that must have shattered him. But she failed to understand that was any truth beyond their love. Didn't their love have enough strength to face any situation that came in front of them? Was a child so important to a relation, that its absence could break that relation ITSELF? Tears flowed down her eyes, as she remembered her only love. She hoped Rahul would have stood up for her, for their love, like how Armaan and Riddhima were today, just for each other.

"Shashank, ye lijiye chai," Padma said sternly offering him tea, since he had just come back home. The Gupta's home had been nothing but a house of empty walls staring each other since the last few weeks. There were three people in the house but none conversed with the other, infact did not even acknowledge the other. Ever since the news of Armaan and Riddhima's wedding had reached them, the house had been witness to fights and arguments, something Padma had never dreamed would occur in her house. Shashank had obviously blown his top at the manner Riddhima has spoken to him, but that didn't hurt him as much as the fact that she was taking a decision without his consent, and going ahead with something he most definitely did not approve off. Padma was the one who had always supported Armaan and Riddhima, their love and even till today was the only one in the house who believed in their relation just like they themselves did. She supported their decision, and was immensely proud of her daughter on standing up for her own right, and even more for standing up for the one man, Padma thought deserved every happiness and security in this world. She had wanted to go bless them, be with her daughter, and her son during the most important days of their life.

Surprisingly Shashank hadn't even stopped her from doing so, which she had thought he would even before she could voice her desire. But since he didn't she realized, how shattered or lonely he would be, to even give up hope on her. He probably thought he or his opinions didn't mean anything to her as well. His daughter had left him to be with a man he did not approve off, the daughter who was his darling, whom he would give his life for. He had failed in giving her assurance and confidence, when she needed it the most, but only Padma knew how he had cried , broken down and collected himself, to see her in this state. The doctors had told him that since the wound due to the bullet was fresh, they couldn't do much to cure her, and even if they wanted to, those kind of amenities were not available in the city. He had lost hope, and behaved unlike someone like him would. He had felt guilty for pitying on her, but he obviously wanted her well being and nothing else.

Riddhima was frowning, she was really hungry, but her ego was stopping her from going to the kitchen and eating, since she was the one who had very stupidly declared that she wasn't going to eat. She looked over at Armaan and her photo lying next to her on the side table. It was the one Muskaan had taken after they had come home after their wedding. Armaan was holding her tightly from behind grinning like a fool and she was smiling confidently, not blushing out of embarrassment for once. She looked at it and frowned at Armaan,"You're really enjoying this are you ? Mujhe miss bhi nahi kar rahe Armaan? "she pouted at the picture as it were Armaan for real, who would get charmed and melt at her pout, succumbing to her wishes. But obviously that wasn't going to happen, and when she realized how it wasn't even going to in real, she just frowned and said," I HATE you," but she kept staring at the picture intently . She missed him, she so wanted to be in his arms right now, away from any fear she felt, away from all her stress, and all the mess about her treatment. She sighed, and felt her stomach grumble, shouting for food, and failing at her own decision rolled her chair out to prepare something for herself.

She entered the kitchen after she had peeped in Muskaan's room to find her napping, to find something to munch on, because she felt lazy to make something. She peeped into the fridge but found nothing there, she fumed and looked around, when suddenly her eyes feel on the microwave. She saw a plate covered with a lid there. She opened the microwave and removed the lid from above the plate. She smiled wide when she saw it was her favorite pasta, and got the plate closer to inhale the aroma. She took hold of a fork and started to eat hungrily. She realized once again how Armaan loved her so much, she was sure he had left this for her. He could be angry at her, not talk to her, but could never cease to look around for her.

"Ridzie chal , shyam ho gayi, kabse yahi baithi hai, come on, " Riddhima heard Muski speak as she came in the room and sat next to her. She didn't know where Armaan was, she had just seen him once when he had walked into the room, to keep her medicines on the bedside and walked away. Normally he would coax her, sweet talk her into taking them. But today he had just kept them and gone away, she had been really angry when he hadn't turned up to see whether she had even had them. She had been pretending to read a book, when he had walked in a while later to check on the medicines. When she saw him fume from the corner of her eyes, she tried hiding her smile behind the book, knowing very well that he would scream at her and finally break his silence. But when he didn't say anything , she wondered if he was even in the same room. She looked up from her book to see him looking at her with a cold expression and grim eyes.

She couldn't bear to see him that way, and when he walked out on her once again, she took the medicines, knowing very well that it would please him, and even if he wasn't talking to her right now, he would most definitely smile.

"Nahi Muski mera mood nahi hai, tu ja I'm fine here," Muskaan whined and nudged her, "Tch, chal na Ridzie, kya yaar, jhagda tum dono ka hai toh why are you guys making me suffer,?" she pouted. When Riddhima yet didn't respond to her, she just pretended to be sad and started to get up." Acha theek hai nautanki, chal," Riddhima smiled at her and Muskaan just made a face and took her out.

Armaan was getting everything ready for bedtime , he kept Riddhima's medicines, water, food beside her bed, and was removing the warm covers from the wardrobe when Riddhima who was just looking at him silently, finally broke her silence. "Armaan can we please talk," she said softly, to which Armaan did not respond. She tried once again, "Armaan please, this is not helping, aise pretend karna that we both don't exist, when obviously, we both do nothing but think about the other, it is really not helping." Armaan looked at her say this, and broke his silence for the first time in all these hours, "What else will help Riddhima? Talking to each other and hurting the other even more then we already have? Talking to you, when I know that you will do only what you want, think what you have been and continue to do so for as long as you can, without even understanding where you're leading yourself to, rather US to? "

" I am really Sorry Riddhima, because if this is what you are intending to do, I am better off, so Goodnight," he said coldly and walked away, leaving a morose Riddhima behind. She was hurt by his words, but at once understood all the hurt he had felt on hearing her ruthless words. She started thinking if what she had done was even right. She was seeing this from her point of view, her fears, her loneliness, about how he would be alone, but she hadn't thought of why he was so adamant on sending her for this treatment. This wasn't about him being selfless, not about him being too giving in the relation, or even going through pain of separation .It was about them, their future. She was a part of him and her treatment would mend so much in their lives. Of course it was time to be practical; they were Doctors themselves for God's sake. If there was a treatment for any kind of imparity or pain, the person suffering would obviously go for treatment and not run away from it. Then why was she letting her fears come in between what she had to do. By saying no for the treatment and being so stubborn about something that had to be done, she was not only behaving stupid but also questioning Armaan's love. She needed no proof from him to know that he loved her in spite of all the shortcomings in their life. The fact that she couldn't walk never came into the picture and she KNEW it. But by being insecure, fearing separation, and fearing to face the truth, she was questioning him and his love for her. He wanted to make her love their strength and she had made their love her own weakness. She felt pathetic about what she had done, and wanted to mend it, wanted to take back her words. With all these thoughts she fell off to sleep on the empty bed, with Armaan in her thoughts.

Riddhima woke up in the morning to find her bedside empty, but she knew for sure, that she hadn't been sleeping there all alone the entire night. She could feel Armaan's presence whenever he was around, and he had been too close for her not to know. She smiled at the coffee lying next to her on the side table, and shook her head at his concern for her, which surpassed all the anger he felt for her too. She remembered those numerous occasions during their internship when he used to order a cup of coffee for her, just to please her. She remembered the smiley's on them; he used to make just to get a smile on her face. She grinned to herself, and drank a sip of the coffee unmindful of the fact that it was boiling hot. She chocked on it and started coughing continuously; she kept the coffee mug aside and searched for water, but couldn't find it anywhere.

In the meanwhile she saw Armaan rushing to her , "Riddhima !! Kya hua haan ? Tch you didn't check before drinking the coffee, maine abhi rakhi thi, it was boiling hot sweetheart," Armaan babbled without taking a break , concerned on seeing her choking and and guessed it was because of the coffee, on seeing a stain on her nigh suit. He rubbed her back lovingly and hugged her to himself, forgetting that he was supposed to be angry at her. He got up and got her some water, and a wet napkin. He wiped her face with a hanky, as if she were a baby, and then tried wiping the stain of her night suit too.

All this while, Riddhima was just staring at him, doing all this for her, at the amount of concern and love he had for her. She smiled, feeling warm, confident, and now her mind was clear of all her confusions, she had slept with. She would definitely do all it takes to make his love for her win, by going in for the treatment and would pray she comes out victorious. But Armaan had just realized that he had given up on his frown and anger on an impulse, and got back to being angry with her again. He gently disentangled herself from him, and blowing some air on the coffee, offered it to her," Lo ab shayad thodi thandi ho gayi hai, have it, I'll go prepare breakfast for us."

Riddhima freshened up and went outside for breakfast, she was about to enter the kitchen when she heard Armaan and Muskaan argue, she smiled thinking it was another one of their stupid bickering sessions, reminding her of how she was missing her dose of bickering with him. She went in the kitchen to stop them from fighting, but as soon as Armaan saw her, the smile on his face vanished, and he took all the breakfast outside, to serve all of them. Riddhima sighed realizing that there was a lot of damage control to be done. She sat down at the breakfast table, prepared to face another round of cold glares from him. She smiled at how cute he looked when he pretended to be angry, and altered her expression right when she saw him glaring at her. She was now sure of what she had to do, but she just wanted the right moment, alone with him, when she would apologize and make up to him. She was in her own thoughts toying with her food, when she saw Armaan get a call on his phone. She tried hard to concentrate, wanting to know what it was about.

She was confused, shocked and hurt, she knew she had wronged him and hurt him, but she had her reasons, and however wrong she might have been, she was human to have those fears within her. She had been thinking of going in for the treatment, and she was sure NOW that she would manage it, because she had given up on thinking emotionally and given thought to all of it practically, thought of it from every perspective, and realized how right he was and how wrong she had been.

But his abrupt decision, and the fact that he hadn't bothered to inform her at all, hurt her hard. She realized how he had given up on her, the treatment, and decided to go back to India. The place she didn't want to look back at now. She was at breaking point, she had gone through too much in the last few days, from managing her own fears, to the fear of leaving him for so long, then fighting the guilt of hurting him and finally taking the decision of going in for the treatment and now she had to face another issue, of convincing him not to go back. She was furious again, everything that she had thought, everything that she had felt, was no more clear to her. She had to talk to him and she wasn't going to take a no for an answer from him. She saw him leaving the room and stopped him.

"Armaan ruko, I need to talk you," he didn't stop and mumbled, " But I don't want to," "Armaan ENOUGH , bahut ho gaya ! Ye meri zindagi ka sawal hai, you have been taking all the decisions without even asking me once, or even telling me for that matter. My life is yours no doubt, but please try and understand, I NEED to prepare myself to face all the change taking place. I had just begun coping with the news of the treatment, and now you decide we are going back to India? Bahut ho gaya na Armaan, it's a question of my entire life, please don't run away , let us talk it out , please." She scream helplessly

Armaan saw her breaking down in front of him and realized that this was it, today everything had to be decided once and for all, everything from her fears, insecurities and confusions had to come to an end today, no matter what the discussion would lead to. Today both were at loggerheads, both on the verge of an outburst, but he was sure, they both were not going to regret it.

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