Part 17: Realization
Riddhima:
He glared at me as I looped my arm through his. We turned to our parents and looked at their cars until they turned the corner of the neighbourhood. As soon as they were gone, Armaan jerked his hand away from mine and walked into the house. He sat on the couch and turned on the TV. I sat next to him gingerly.
"Armaan?" I spoke quietly. He continued looking at the TV. "Armaan..." I tried again but he continued to look at the TV screen and ignored me. Annoyed, I snatched the remote control out of his hands and turned it off. "Armaan I'm trying to talk to you here! Why don't you listen...?"
He didn't say anything but he didn't get up and leave either. I took that as my cue. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry for what I did earlier today." I continued to look at him. He sighed and turned to me. He cupped my face gently and I stiffened immediately. His hands moved to my shoulders and he gave my shoulders a tight squeeze. He moved a little closer and I twisted myself to get out of his grip. He laughed as he got up and took a step away from the couch.
"Look Armaan...I'm sorry I slapped you...I'"He interrupted me.
"'I don't care about that Riddhima. But I do care about you making me your showcase husband."
I got up from the couch as well. "Showcase husband?"
"YES! That is exactly what you were doing! All night you've been acting like a perfect wife, you've held my hand a few times, you seemed a lot more comfortable with me than you actually are and I know that it was all to show the parents that we're happy together and honestly...the only reason why I played along was for your parents. It was the first time they'd visited us since we've gotten married and I didn't want them to worry. But now that I think about it...I think they should know what a disaster this marriage has become. It's no use hiding all this ugliness with the cover of a perfect marriage, Riddhima. So next time...do not get close to me or try to act romantic just to show people."
"But you also played along didn't you?" I asked defensively.
"I already explained myself. And next time...Good luck trying to explain to your parents why this marriage isn't working out." He turned his back to my and stomped off into the bedroom, slamming the door.
I fell back onto the couch. I picked up the wedding album mom and dad had dropped off. I flipped through the pictures and saw that I didn't look miserable in them. I looked...well...happy. Confused and in desperate need for some advice, I took my cell phone and dialled Anjali's number.
The next morning I pushed the wedding album towards Armaan during breakfast.
Armaan quickly flipped through the pictures as I watched his face for any expressions. He gave a sarcastic smile after he finished. "Someone said it right...pictures can be deceiving."
I stared at him wide eyed as he got up from the table, picked up his backpack and left for class. I sighed, cleaned up the table, put the dishes in the washer, picked up my bag and headed to the hospital.
--
The rest of the week passed pretty much the same with Armaan and Riddhima. Armaan stayed back at school for longer hours to avoid Riddhima and the issues at home. Riddhima usually fell asleep before he got home, or if she were awake when he did get home, they'd exchange a few clipped words and go to bed.
The night before Angad-Kripa's move in day, Armaan lay on the couch in his bedroom and reflected back on his conversation with Billy. Billy had pulled Armaan aside subtly to talk to him.
"I notice that you and Riddhima are having problems." He'd said.
Armaan had hugged his father, glad to have a friend in a father's place. Armaan told Billy everything that has gone wrong in his relationship with Riddhima. Billy had sighed heavily and put a hand on Armaan's shoulder. He only said two words. "Stop trying."
When Armaan questioned, Billy explained. "Clearly, she doesn't recognize the fact that you're trying. She thinks you're being forceful. Angad is right...maybe you trying seems to her as if you're coming on too strong. Tone it down. She'll come around. Give it a couple of months...and if that doesn't do the trick and if you...if you want to...I don't know...divorce her..."
Armaan had stared at his toes. "I haven't even considered that option Billy. Nor do I want to. As miserable as this marriage is...I can't deny that I do love her... "
Billy had smiled. "Well then. The only advice I have for you is Stop trying."
Armaan's thoughts snapped back into reality. He looked at Riddhima sleeping peacefully. Armaan decided that he'll make his last attempt at fixing this at Angad and Kripa's move in party. If she didn't acknowledge that, He will listen to Billy. He will stop trying for good.
The group spent Friday night and Saturday morning helping Angad and Kripa move. Riddhima was slightly satisfied when she found out that Angad and Kripa had different bedrooms. Angad and Kripa were plenty romantic with each while trying to get all the furniture and other stuff arranged in the house. Intimate hugs, a few quick kisses here and there, loving glances in each other's directions. They made Armaan long for that kind of relationship with Riddhima. As for their effect on Riddhima...they just made her sick.
Once they were all gone to get ready for the party, Angad and Kripa were left alone in their apartment. Kripa went into the living room to pick up her bag of clothes when she saw a big package sitting on dining table (which still needed to be moved to the dining room!) That was odd. She hadn't seen that one coming in.
She walked up to it and saw two post-it notes stuck to it. One said "Do Not shake. Handle with extreme care!" Another post it note said "This side up." At the bottom right corner of the top of the box, she saw her name written there.
"Angad?" She called out to him. He was already standing in the entrance of the hallway that led to the kitchen. He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.
"What's in here?" Kripa asked. She felt him shrug.
"How would I know? It says the box is yours."
Kripa frowned in confusion and opened up the string that was holding the box together. As soon as she removed the knot, the four flaps of the box fell to their sides, one of the flaps taking the top cover of the box with it. It was a cage.
Kripa scanned it properly until her eyes froze on a dark brown haired teddy-bear hamster, sleeping peacefully on the tiny hamster bed. Kripa squealed, turned around and flung her arms around his shoulders, giving him a big hug. He laughed as he hid his face in the curve of her neck, gently kissing the side of her neck.
"Thank you so much!" She said cheerfully. She turned around to face the adorable animal in the cage.
"That would be Gabbana. Hopefully Dolce's mate." Angad chuckled.
"Gabbana...it's a female?" Kripa asked.
"Uh yeah...baby...if you want them to be mates...Gabbana has to be a girl considering that Dolce is a male." Angad explained teasingly.
"Darn it! You figured it out! I remember I told you that Dolce is a girl. How did you find out?" Kripa asked, feigning disappointment.
Angad turned her around. "I had time to bond with Dolce remember? Besides...we men are good at discovering our own kind."
"Dolce and Gabbana." Kripa giggled. "They sound perfect together."
"Mhmm" he kissed Kripa's shoulder blade. "Just like Angad and Kripa..."
Kripa laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck again while he wrapped his hands around her waist. "Thank you so much. But I didn't get you anything...now I feel bad."
"Oh but you did give me something...you agreed to live with me...that's a big enough gift."
"Filmy" Kripa managed to whisper before he sealed her lips with his.
They went back to unpacking again and while working, they started setting the house rules and customs.
"Okay...the biggest rule...the most important one. The toilet seat has to be down. At all times." Kripa wiggled a finger at him.
"You have your own washroom since you have the master bedroom but if I ever end up using it...I'll make sure. My rule...No stuffed animals in the living room." Angad retorted.
"Done. None of your exercising equipment in the living room."
"Done. Anything else?"
"Not that I can think of..." Kripa smiled at him.
"Great. Now...do you ladies have a girls' night out or something?" Angad asked.
"Yeap...Friday nights. I don't make any exceptions for that. Sorry."
"No no. It works perfectly. Friday nights are our boys' nights out. But I'm claiming you for the weekends."
"Done deal!" Kripa agreed cheerfully.
Then came the party. There was more crowd than Armaan had expected. Everyone was dancing, eating, or just sitting and talking. Angad and Kripa were being them usual romantic selves. Angad stood against the railing for the balcony, holding Kripa close to him. She stood there with her hands on his shoulders. They were talking...and laughing. A lot.
Armaan looked to his left where his beautiful wife was standing, glaring at Angad and Kripa. Armaan gathered all the courage he had and jumped into the water, ignoring Billy's advice, following what his heart told him. He put a gentle arm around her shoulders. Instantly she shoved his arm off.
"Enough Riddhima!" something inside Armaan snapped. She was taken aback. She didn't expect him to raise his voice slightly in a crowd. "Enough! Why are you doing this to me? You know I've been trying to make this thing work between us since the beginning but I don't see even a fraction of an effort from you. I understand that this is all new to you...I understand that we're practically strangers for each other but Riddhima that is never going to change until we both try to make it work! I mean...take Angad and Kripa for example...they met on a flight. They practically were strangers. Look at them now. It looks like they're the ones married and we're the two that met on the flight. God, I just sound like an old record don't I? Look over there." Armaan nudged his chin in the direction where Angad and Kripa were standing. Riddhima looked at Angad and Kripa who were in the middle of laughing again. "Can't we be happy like them?" he asked calmly, lovingly.
That struck something inside Riddhima. Something about the tone as he said the sentence broke through all of Riddhima's barriers. Something about that sentence suddenly gave her a new sight. She looked up at him. Half shocked. Half hurt. And completely silent. "I--I need to g-go" she managed to choke out.
Armaan stood there as Riddhima walked away. "Billy was right. That's it. I give up! This time I definitely give up." he thought to himself and walked over to a group of guys to mingle.
Riddhima:
He wants to be happy with me. He wants to be happy with me. He wants to be happy with me.
So He's actually concerned about where our relationship was going. He isn't going to force himself on me. He wants me to try just as much as him. I could do that...Can't I? Then why aren't I? Everyone is telling me that I am being hard on him. Then why am I being so stupid and not listening to them?
I did agree to marry him. It's not like he forced me into it. If I should be angry with anyone, it should be papa...he's the one who wanted to do this the old fashioned way. So I listened to papa and married him. Then why can't I be comfortable with him? Why am I having trouble trusting him? Why can't I just accept the fact that he's my husband? Why am I not listening to Kripa?
I didn't realize I was crying until the cold October wind of Toronto made my cheeks feel colder than they should be. I wiped at them and felt the cold tears. That only made me cry more.
Oh I fought it. I fought the tears. I imagined putting up a dam against a flood of tears. But everyone knows what happens to dams when there are great floods. The dams break. So did mine.
I cried...for a long time. All the frustration, confusion, and guilt --above all, guilt-- washed out of my system in the form of tears. My lungs ached for air and my throat felt like it was clogged. But I didn't care. I probably looked ridiculously scary but I didn't care. I cried past the ringing in my ears. I cried past the pounding headache that followed and past the dizziness as well.
Then I couldn't cry anymore. There were no more tears left. I was sobbing, but no tears were coming out. I wiped at my face, cleared my throat and got up. Only when I got home did I realize that I wasn't noticing where I was going. Instead of going back to the party, I'd come back home. The phone was ringing when I got in. I ran to it and picked it up before I lost the call.
"Hello?" I said breathlessly.
"Where the hell are you?" Kripa yelled on the other side. I had to hold the phone away from my ear. "Do you know how worried we've been? Where the hell did you disappear to? What the **** is wrong with you?"
I flinched at the profanity. "Don't worry! I'm at home. I'm fine. I just got tired." I explained. Silence on the other side. Oh crap! She'd figured it out.
"You've been crying." she wasn't asking me. She was stating it to me.
"I don't want to talk about it right now." I said flatly. I hoped that I didn't sound too rude.
"Okay well...I'll just let Armaan know that you're home. I don't know why you were crying but please try not to cry. And anytime you need to talk, just give me a call." Kripa sounded as if we hadn't been arguing ever since I got married. As if I haven't been the biggest ***** to her from the moment she started dating Angad till they moved in together. As if I haven't been a terrible friend for all these months. She sounded like the same friend that I love so much. God, I've been such a jerk!
"I wouldn't do that. You guys just moved in...Spend some time with each other...that was the whole point wasn't it?" I asked her gently.
She was silent for a second. It seemed to me as if she was trying hard to put her thoughts into words. "Riddhima...it doesn't matter that I've moved in with Angad...you're still my best friend. I won't neglect you now just because I have a boyfriend."
Oh no, She sounded hurt and offended. "I didn't mean it like that, Kripa!" I said quickly. "I just don't want to disturb you two right now. But I will talk to you about this one day. I promise."
"Okay...take care then, I'll see you on Monday at the hospital." She said bye and hung up.
After I hung up, I refused to let all the thoughts come back to me. I just showered while playing music so loud that it was impossible to hear even myself think. After getting into my PJs, I got comfortable on the bed and picked up 'My Sister's Keeper' from the side table. I read half a paragraph and decided that I didn't register anything. Maybe I just needed sleep. So I turned off the side lamp, pulled the blankets over my head and closed my eyes.
Kripa:
I looked at him sitting at the bar, drinking pegs after pegs. For some reason, it suddenly got really quiet. I turned around and found Angad looking in the same direction I was looking. That's why it was quiet. He'd stopped his non-stop conversation. I could see that he really wanted to go to Armaan but his arm was around me waist. He was in a fix. Trying to choose between his best friend and his girlfriend.
I patted his shoulders and he looked at me. "Go." I nudged my head in Armaan's direction and smiled at Angad. Angad's expression said 'really? You don't mind?'
I patted his shoulder again and nudged my chin in Armaan's direction to reassure him that I didn't mind him going over to talk to Armaan. In fact, I wanted him to go and talk to him. He kissed my forehead and rushed towards Armaan. I got busy mingling with other friends and let Armaan and Angad have their guy time.
Around 4am, there was on one in the apartment except for Angad, Armaan and me. I glanced at the bar and saw that Angad was sitting there looking slightly annoyed while Armaan was saying something to him.
I let the two friends be and walked around the living room, picking up bits of trash, re-arranging things. When the living room looked decent and all it needed was vacuuming, I walked towards my bedroom. In the instant my hand touched the doorknob, I heard Angad call for me. I looked at him over my shoulder.
"Come here, please?"
I walked up to them, a little cautious because I didn't know what to expect.
Angad turned on his bar stool to completely face me. When I was within his vicinity, he wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me closer, locking me between his legs. After giving me a super short, super sweet kiss, he turned me so that my back was to his chest, and he hugged me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. I wrapped my own arms over his. Now I could look at Armaan.
He was so drunk that his eyes were drooping. Clearly something had happened between him and Riddhima...
"Armaan?" The word rolled off of my tongue too quickly. I couldn't stop it.
He looked at me and beamed a big smile. "KRIPAAA" He drawled, his voice a little louder than necessary. "no. no. not Kripa. You're Riddhima! My fianc!" he laughed loudly and then stopped suddenly. He looked at me and frowned. "DO YOU remember? You pranked me! Ha ha ha you pranked me. I thought you were Riddhima...but shhh. Don't tell Kripa. I didn't want her to be Riddhima. I wanted Riddhima to be Riddhima. But now..." he laughed again and then stopped suddenly. "Now I wish Kripa was Riddhima." his voice, his tone, his expressions broke my heart. If Riddhima wasn't my best friend, I would have killed her for doing this to the guy. "Kripa is nice...sweet. Pretty. Nice. Sweet. Not mean. Pretty. And sweet. But SHH. Don't tell Angad...Kripa is Angad's boyfriend now...oops...I mean girlfriend. Girlfriend. Kripa girlfriend is Angad's."
"Armaan." I warned, snatching his next drink out of his hand. "Stop it. I think you've had enough drinks."
Armaan pouted like a little boy and "subtly" tried to reach for the bottle. Angad groaned behind me, and he moved towards Armaan, letting go of me.
"That's it buddy. Let's get you home. Come on." Angad said firmly.
Armaan saluted Angad. "Yes sir!"
I helped Angad take Armaan out to the car. We drove him to his house and Angad helped him get indoors. A few minutes late, Angad got into the car again.
"Is he alright?" I asked Angad.
Angad shrugged, looking out of the rear windshield as he backed out the car. "He'll be fine...except for the hell of a hangover he's got waiting for himself."
He held my hand with one hand and drove with the other. I played with his fingers, being glad over and over that our relationship wasn't like Armaan and Riddhima's.
"Angad...I want you to make a promise."
"What promise?" he asked, glancing my way.
I intertwined my fingers through his. "If I ever do anything to upset you...can you let me know right away?"
"I promise. Kripa, their relationship lacks proper communication." He said understanding where I was coming from without me having to say it to him. "With us...our communication is great...and I'm inclined to keep it that way. I won't let lack of communication get in between us. I promise you."
I kissed his hand and thanked him. Once we got home, he thanked me for cleaning up after the party. He walked me to my room but I refused to let go of his hand. He walked in with me. He'd been a gentleman and had given me the master bedroom. Mostly everything in the room was set up. Only a couple of bags of clothes and a couple of boxes of shoes to be unpacked.
Then I yawned. He chuckled and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Its really late...go to bed." He kissed my forehead and then my lips and got up. "Good night." He smiled and turned to walk away but I grabbed his hand tighter instead of letting go and stopped him.
"Stay with me tonight?" I asked. He seemed surprised by my question and for a split second I wondered if he thought I was coming on too strong. But then he smiled his super-amazing-stop-your-heart-dead-slanted smile.
"Are you sure? I can't promise that I'll keep my hands off of you."
"Good. I don't want you to." I shot back at him and got up.
After sharing a few romantic and intimate moments with him, I excused myself to go and change. I took a quick five minute shower and changed into my night suit. When I stepped out, he was sitting on the bed, wearing a loosely fitting white t-shirt with black shorts, his hair wet and falling on his forehead.
I scooted next to him and moved his hair back before kissing his forehead. He smiled at me and both of us lay back on the bed. I put my head on his shoulder and put my arm across his chest. The arm of his that I was using as a pillow went around my shoulders and stopped at my arm, his thumb caressing my skin soothingly. I feel asleep in minutes. Safe. Secure. Content.
Next Part: Page 74
Hey guys! here you go! See, I told you I'd update sooner this time!😉 Riddhima has finally realized what she's been doing...lets see how long it takes for her to fix things! I should be able to update within the next two weeks again! Look out for it...and leave your love in the form of comments!😉
IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm sending out update messages to about 80 people but I see that only about half of them are keeping up with the fan-fic. Just click the like button or comment on the ff so that I know who's still keeping up...unfortunately, I don't have the time to send out messages to so many people (especially if half of them aren't even keeping up with the story.) So I'll be keeping track of the regular followers and I'll only be sending messges to them. Thanks!
Members Lounge
41