SS:Matters of the Heart(updated pg 27)#19/2 - Page 6

I sat there thinking about the past week..

I remembered the details of many things that had happened in
that one week..that one week that changed my life, for better or worse, I could
not decide, but it couldn't be better..i didn't have the light of my life with
me, I was living an empty life so how could it be better and worse..GEET still
existed in some part of the world and in some part of me ,till she was there I
could lead a life..even if it meant dying thousand times each minute..

I remembered what she had said.."mujhe kise ki zaroorat nahi
hai.."

For the first two days I didn't know what had gone wrong all
my time went in shuffling between the office and home looking after dadi..i had
no time to ponder over what had broken our relationship where had we both
faltered in our path.

Once dadi was fine I went off, went far away into the deep
jungle to live a life I knew well and to spend time with myself..

I remembered that night when I had decided upon this..

I had seen a bird trying to crawl away from its nest but
every time she was put down by her mother. Next morning the same mother let her
child free.. the bird soared in the air reached new heights and came down after
a while back to its home into the loving nest.

I realized what I had done, what GEET wanted and where had
we gone wrong..i still don't know why she refused to marry me but I knew the
path that we were treading on was wrong.

I decided to let her go to help her be independent, and then
walk out of her life. If that's what she wanted I will do it. I knew that it
would give me intense pain but the smile on her lips mattered more to me than
my own pain.

If she loved me, if our love was true she will come back to
me and I will welcome her back with open arms. I remembered "apne pyaar ko
jaane do..agar who waapis aa jaye toh who tumhara hai..aur agar na aaye toh yeh
samjah lena ki who tumhara kabhi tha he nahi.."I still could vividly remembered
when I had heard that..it was dadi who said that ..and I had retorted back
"aisa nahi hota hai.." and today here I was using the same lines for myself.

I had come back the next day and took over the office. Now I
needed to find geet and give her all that she wanted coz my mission was "GEET
HANDA" now.

I hired a detective and make him spy at geet all day and
find out all about her. Yes I knew she was living with Meera and I could just
call her up and ask him but no that would mean leaving traces of what I was
doing..and I didn't want to leave any..she should never know that I still stood
by her. For her I should be a past she wanted to forget..for her I should be a
"Dusht daanav" , for her I should be a man who is hell bent on creating
obstacles in her path.

And then I knew she was working with YASH..i knew yash will
make her dependent..no she has to live on her own and I bought that company
from him.

And then in office the first time I had seen her..she had
kept that foot on my shoulder to get down..at that moment I wanted to hold her
and bring her down comfortably..maan
no..u have to go away from her..and I knew how much of self restrain it
took for me to see her doing those antics.

And then she fell on me..i was half mad with desire..desire
to hold her and take her away safely from here..desire to ask her how she was,
desire to know if she was happy..but I could do nothing..but still in one
moment I had become weak I did ask her if she was fine..

But when she tried to touch me..i stopped her..i knew her
touch would make me weak and I couldn't give up on my resolve so easily.

And then I had played the game, the game of life..Yes the
game of making her live her life, the game of making her go away from my life.

At every step I challenged her, at every step I taunted her,
at every step I used the best tool I could think of..reverse psychology and it
worked. When ever I told her something and she was about to give up I showed
her a way out of it and she succeeded in everything without my help. I wish I
could smile at all her winnings but I didn't I couldn't. but I did celebrate
all her winnings.

On each of her winnings I had got her a gift. A gift that
was locked in my cupboard. I would give it to her when she returned to me. I
know she will.

My first gift..i smiled at the thought and suddenly I was
interrupted..

'sir aapne breakfast ke liye kaha tha..kahaan rakhoon.'

I heard nakul and broke my thoughts.

"Nakul upar le jaao.."

I saw that it had been around half an hour since I had been
sitting in the verandah thinking about the past. I hadn't realized it. Had
Nakul not broken my chain of thoughts I could have sat there all day long
thinking about her.

Her.. GEET..oh god she
was not well..how could I be so careless. I had totally forgotten about it. I
was busy reminiscing the past and
forgotten about her totally.

I came out of my reverie and went to the room.

I saw her. She was sitting on the bed facing towards the window.
I saw that the breakfast had been placed and it was untouched. Didn't she wanna eat it..wasnt she hungry.

As soon as I stepped inside she turned around to face me.