DeStInY part 3 updated - Page 3

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rozia thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#21

Originally posted by: spvd

hey................
very nice char intro.....................
i like Angad Kripa pair more.....................
reading the chap it reminds me of FRIENDS....................well cont soon and pm me................one request can u use some bright color????????????the color is cute but too light that i had to highlight it and read................dont mistake...................

hey thanks 4 the comment yeh it is based on friends the few chapters will b like a few episodes that are from friends but then later there will be different tracks
yeh sure i'll make it in a darker colour sorry about that
😛😊
rozia thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#22
thanks alot 4 the comment
vyshu-avi thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#23

hey nice c.s....

add me to your pm or buddy list and plzz.pm me on the nxt...

t.c,bye,

love,

vyshu

dazzling_armaan thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#24
Hey Dear nice concept .
Loved the CS.
its interesting .
Continue soon & Add me to ur PM list.
rozia thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#25

Originally posted by: vyshhhhhhhh

hey nice c.s....

add me to your pm or buddy list and plzz.pm me on the nxt...

t.c,bye,

love,

vyshu

hey thanks 4 the comment im glad you liked it i'm going to update relli soon
its a long part spo i cut it in2 2 sections hope u enjoy
😛
rozia thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#26

Originally posted by: dazzling_armaan

Hey Dear nice concept .
Loved the CS.
its interesting .
Continue soon & Add me to ur PM list.

hey thanks alot 4 commenting im glad you liked character sketch coz that were u know if the
stories gonna kick in lol and il add u 2 pm list straight away.
😃😛
rozia thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#27

Chapter 2a

It was a bright afternoon and everyone had gathered up into the caf to find out what the plans were for Anjali's birthday. It was Anjali's birthday today and everyone was looking forward to it. Kripa decided that they were going to give her a fancy party at night and invite loads of people but the guys didn't agree because Anjali didn't like parties. "You guys I think we should just get some pizza and drinks just the 6 of us. I don't think she would like the fact everyone is going to come. The only thing that would be in her mind is that it is really messy." Armaan said whilst sipping on his coffee that had now turned cold because of arguing for so long on what type of birthday they should have for Anjali. "Yes Kripa for the first time I'll agree with Armaan. I think you should only have a fancy party if we are fancy in the inside but look at us I mean we chill out at the caf." Everyone nodded as they agreed with what Riddhima had said. "Fine you guys if you don't think that Anjali deserves a proper party we will just abanden the fancy party OK." Everyone knew Kripa was getting annoyed so they agreed with her idea on a fancy party.

A few hours later in the caf again……

All the friends gathered up on the sofa and talked about Anjali's party planning. Whilst Kavya sent Anjali to take the next door neighbours dog on a long walk so they could planit without her knowing. "Well I talked to Anjali's sisters and neither of them could come they got shifts on that day." Angad said as he crossed Anjali's sister's names of the list." "Errrmmm ok so I guess I still have to invite Nikhil, Tanya and Neeti." Kripa looked at the list and read the names out of the peole that were not crossed out. "Wait you can't invite Neeti." Armaan shouted so that the whole caf could hear. "Why not" Riddhima said completely puzzled at Armaan's behaviour but for her that was normal because he always did it. "Well emm well she swears a lot and Anjali don't like people who swear." "Or maybe Ridz, Armaan took her on a date and didn't bother to ring her back." Angad aknowledged as soon as he saw Armaan getting nervous that he was lying. "Armaan that is really stupid that's just too much." Riddhima was getting annoyed with Armaan now. "It's not my fault it's just I might have gotten scared." Armaan crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders using his innocent face to get him out of the situation. "Oh I'm sorry I was getting a little angry with you Armaan." Riddhima looked at him with an apologetic look. Armaan laughed "I didn't think you guys would buy that." Kripa and Riddhima turned their faces opposite adjacent to Armaan in disgust.

The matter was put at ease as Anjali walked into the caf and walked straight behind the caf trying to put her apron on. "Hey huni how was your walk with the dog." "Kavya I hate that dog . He made my life miserable today. First he pooed in the middle of the road he then ran straight into the park. I chased him for 2 miles and eventually he stopped and he pooped again. I swear I could say that dog has got diaorhea. Gosh I hate dogs. To top it all of I got a call from my sister going on about how mum and dad ruined her day at parents evening because they were to busy sl*gging each other off. All they had to do was sit down and smile proudly and not talk about the divorce but NOOOO they got into a huge fight right in the middle of the sports hall and do you know what's the best thing I've got to serve sandwhiches for the next 8 hours." "Oh my poor baby come here." Kavya opened his arms for Anjali to hug him but she walked straight pass him in frustration and got straight to work before she got sacked. "So I guess we don't invite her parents." Kripa crossed their names of the list. "Well how about just her mum." Armaan claimed. "Why her mum." Angad said looking questioningly at Armaan. Armaan moved nervously

around his chair "Err because I accidenlt already invited her." "Ohhh did you invite Steph from 3 blocks away." Kripa snapped as she was thinking of names. "Nah ah" Armaan said nodding his head. "Don't tell me you didn't call her either." Riddhima said grabbing hold of her pen towards Armaan as if she was going to kill him. "Pfff no she just also swears and oh yeh so does her room mate." Armaan replied clicking his fingers together. "Armaan whatever. You need to start ringing girls and apologising you know." Kavya pointed out to Armaan.

In Anjali's apartment the next day

You could see the room was all done up for the party as balloons were hung up all over the wall and big massive Birthay banners were stuck on the door saying Happy Birthday Anjali. "Ok you guys heres the birthday candles wheres the birthday cake" Kripa pointed out. "Here you go" Kavya said proudly showing of the fact that he made it. He even wrote on the cake saying 'Happy Bday Anjali P.S I made The Cake-Kavya.' All of a sudden the door knocked. Kavya went and answered it. He was shocked to his stomach when he saw who it was. It was a tall built male who has a little bit of wrinkles on him but still pulled it of with looking young with his jeans and jacket."Hello Mr Mehra. Oh my gosh you guys look who it is. It's Anjali's dad." Everyone was really shocked so shocked that the ballon that was in Angad's hand blew off towards the ceiling. Everyone was thinking what was going to happen and most of all who invited him. They didn't want to spoil Anjali's big day. "What are you doing here?" Kavya looked really surprised. "What can't the father drop by on his daughter's birthday?" "No no the father can. Since I'm the room mate I can tell you she is not her and I'll pass along the message Ok so bye bye. Kavya tried closing the door but Mr Mehra walked straight in. As soon as he walked in he saw the room decorations "Ohh so you're having a party." Mr Mehra looked around again. "No not a party just a surprise bash with friends that Anjali knows." Kavya replied getting really nervous. "Well let me invite you to everyone this is Angad, Kripa, Riddhima and Armaan. She pointed at everyone saying their names. "I'll never remember all of that but anyways whats the deal does Anjali walk in and all you kids pop things and scream is that it." Mr Mehra walked around to the table were lots of wine bottles were placed. "Take it this isn't your first surprise party is it sir." Angad leaned forward saying this to Mr Mehra. "Everyone stopped as they heard the door. Mr Mehra was to busy pouring wine in his glass that Kavya decided to open the door. He was flabbergasted as he saw it was no other than Anjali's mum. "Hello Kavya son." Kavya banged the door on her face panicking.

Questions

1) What do you think of the story so far

2) Are the characters portraying their relationships with each other or do i still need to work on that

vyshu-avi thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#28

Really..nice part...awesome..

but you just need to give some more gap between the between the sentences... u better write the conversation..like...one dialouge one line kind..i mean...pressing enter for every dialouge..... remaining is perfect...
continue soon..,
take care,
bye,
love,
vyshu
anumeha_rajat thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#29
awesome part dear..........
amazing............
its really gonna be fun now.........
thnx for the pm..............
spvd thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#30
oh twas fun reading this part...................esp the last scene.............the party is gonna be interesting..................cont soon and thanks for the pm...........

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