So this my first attempt at a hindi poem...it sucks i know! will improve slowly..inshallah
story starts with gunjan...
Socha Na Tha.......
I sat at the last bench at the corner of the classroom, just like always. I didn't want to be approached, didn't want to meet anyone's gaze, no friends no foes that's wat I wanted in college.I never answered in class, it didn't seem important anymore. Soon I would complete my year, and get my degree and then…then I will fulfil her dream, my di's dream. The professor was giving his lecture on the topic I had already prepared at home, things were getting too boring for me to sit straight now. Sitting in the last bench had one advantage I could see the movement of the entire classroom. The famous star samrat shergill, sat at the third bench, listening to his ipod, he was my friend but after di left, I broke my friendship with him, I still missed him, but I didn't want anyone in my life. I couldn't bear another loss.
And so I left everything, before life could take it away. Di's friend mayank was heartbroken too, but he seemed to have moved on, or rather moved on indulging himself into books .
Dia, annie, suhani, samrat and all of them, they had tried, but I didn't…I didn't listen to any of them, didn't care. I used the words that cut the deepest…and slowly they scattered away.who would take me as a friend after that? I had changed, I wasn't sweet anymore. I smiled at the word 'sweet'…..
Umeedon ko sahas na diya
Khwahishon ko khone na diya
Faislon ko buland na kiya
Dosti ko gehra hone na diya
Kisi ke samne sir jhukne na diya
Bas yahi afsos hai
Ki khudko badalne kyun diya?
Her smiling face returned to me, so bright and lively and so did the pale sad face, her sufferings her pain, she had suffered for two years…and wen, wen she had asked for peace, for pain to go away, god fulfilled her wish by taking her very breath away. Th elast she saw of her was her lifeless body, pale and dark with syringe marks on her neck, wrists and. Gunjan stopped her course of thoughts, it pained like hell still. To remember her sister's painful death,
Kab kaise yeh hogaya
Ki ab raasta bhi mit gaya
Kyun sirf tum yaad ho
Par ab us yaad ka ehsaas na raha
Kyun dil main tumse milne
Ki faryaad baki hai
Jab khud tumhe bejaan dekha tha
The last time she met her sister, when she was there alive was an aweful memory, she wished she could change it, there was so much to talk about, so much to tell.
Bas yahi afsos hai
ki us aakhri mulakat main
kuch kehne ka sahas na raha
har roz ki tarah thi chup si bethi
tumhari aankhon main thi
who har dard ki chhavi
Tumhari muskaan main nahin
Thi who khushi
Kyun aisa laga ki chhod chuki thi
Tum jeene ki umeed sabhi
She remembered still each and everything with sharp clarity, only that she couldn't feel that moment anymore, she would go numb all over, like her her heart refused to feel wat her mind told her. Those memories.
The doc had called and she had made a run to the hospital to her sister, to be there for her.
She was unconscious, merely alive, her eyes half open her brain semi-conscious her lips moved but words were inaudible, her face pale, her hands limp, as if no life existed within, she stared at her, called her name once, twice but she didn't respond, she couldn't hear, couldn't feel, she was breathing her last.
Woh aakhri baar jab dekha tumhe
To who dard hua
Jo shayad tumpe gusra tha kabhi.
Na samajhne ka ehsaas
Na tumhe dekhne ka
Kaise dekhti
Tumhare bejaan shav ko?
Kaise dekhti tumhe?
I looked around the class was still on, as the professor continued his lecture, though nobody was interested, a few were smiling, others whispering, they had their gossips to tell, their things to share.I felt my heart sink, they were happy, it didn't affect them like it did for her. The fact that her sister didn't exist was not noticeable, things continued just the same, the unbearable non-existence of nupur bhushan went missed. She was just another student, who no longer screamed in the corridors of excel, whose gossips wont excite others, whose piercing shreak didn't reach their ears.
Aaj dil bethta hai tumhari yaad main
Bas sapnon main saath hai tumhara
Dar lagta hai kahin who bhi to…?
The bell rang indicating the end of the classroom, the students filed out yet I remained seated. I stared at samrat's back, he was leaving just like every other, she wished she had them, but with them came the fear and she let the feeling go.
Samrat stopped in his steps and turned to stare at me.
He gave a lil smile but I turned my head away. I looked up slowly to find him staring still, I picked my books as he approached me.
"hi" he greeted.
"leave me alone" with tht said I left to exit the class. No one would make it to my heart….because it was already broken from deep within and I wished to not let anyone know that.
Socha na tha……tumhare jaane pe
Badal jaengey hum itne…
Socha na Tha…….
Oke pls dont hit me now coz i wrote a sad one
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ZeeJay!
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
