Part 14
"...WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY SHE LEFT?? SHE JUST CAN'T LEAVE LIKE THAT!!" He flared at her not atall in control of his anger; He didn't know what shocked him more..... 'Was it the news of her father's death' or 'was it the news of her leaving the city BECAUSE OF HIM??' not able to digest the truth of his life, he further demanded looking into her eyes, "Where did she go??......Tell me muskaan damn-it".....He blazed at her angry, How can she do this??
Muskaan looked up, all shaken up by his sudden act of yelling at her, she looked horrorstruck at him "Is there something wrong with him??" she thought suddenly as he never behaved like this for anyone. 'Was she that important for the company??' as long his personal relation with her was concerned; they didn't share anything between them as such. She was sure of that, she has just joined the company and didn't had any good time with him too. 'What if she left? It shouldn't affect him' she thought looking at him. She could make out that he was affected by this, 'but why he looks so offended?? So shocked??' She mumbled completely frightened, "I honestly have no idea, Sir!! She didn't tell me? She just told me that she is leaving city and she can't disclosed anything." She told him and then after sometime she asked him, "But what's the matter?"
Armaan looked at her, 'she doesn't know??' what kind of friend is she?
Angry at her he asked her......."Why did you leave her at that moment?? Why? I had asked you to go to hospital then why did you leave from there leaving her all alone?" He asked her, 'if she would have not left then riddhima would have not come to him. 'And you call yourself a good friend? You left her all alone at a point where she needs you the most??!!" he stated........feeling ashamed of herself she cried, " I know, Sir......I am such a bad friend ....." ....... feeling like non-stop slapping himself for venting his anger at this poor girl he growled cursing himself once again. Keep control armaan 'Why are you shouting at her? This is not the time to ask all this!' He told himself. I have to find her now. I have to!! ...... "Damn it!!!" closing his eyes he tried to calm himself down for a second and looked at her scared downcasted face, he could see the dried tear strain still visible on his face. He growled 'Why do I always cause pain to people? Am I that bad?? He asked himself defeated, "first Mum and now her?" He asked himself feeling like crying for a long time till this cyclone that was erupting inside him would burst, outwhile throwing a fist in the air he submitted himself feeling all pity over his fate, he looked at muskaan who looked scared to death sighing he apologized....... ".. I'm sorry!!!......" Taking a deep breathe, he combed his hands through his hair....."Please don't cry!!!.........just find out where she is!!!......." he was too tired to talk as Armaan made a request before storming out of the cabin leaving a sad and confused Muskaan to stare after him........
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Armaan jerked out of his thought, He just can't forget that morning when his hope was shattered, he still remembers how devastated he was after knowing that she had left the city just because of him and now she was all alone in this world with no one to look for. He wanted to kill himself at that very moment for what he did to her. He had promised not to hurt her but he did. He had searched for her day and night and today when he did find her finally, he lost her again and this time for eternity…He grimaced moving toward the bed still in thought, he just cant take it out of him…her words was stabbing him like a needle in his heart…"I Hate you Mallik" He flinched again. 'She hates me!' A tear escaped his eyes for one more time, moving to his bar he took out new bottle of bear and got immersed in his pain.
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"Armaan…." Anjali looked shocked at armaan she had just woken up after hearing the door bell it was late in the night, she could still make out even in the darkness that was surrounding in the room that he was not in his sense atall. She growled cursing him 'Why was he doing this to himself? Why on earth was he doing this to himself, what will he get? She is gone!!'she stated to herself angry on him. She took him inside as he fell on her instantly for getting some support, making him laid on the sofa she made her way to look for atul who was still sleeping.
Atul and Anjali both looked at armaan they were worried for him, He was unconscious and was mumbling something constantly; they could hear some part of what he was telling and were confused somewhere to make something out of it until they heard him mumble something loudly... "She hates me!" this time it was louder enough for them to hear. Anjali growled hearing it and atul felt sorry for his long buddy. He had never thought that his buddy, 'the great armaan mallik' would ever fall in love and when he did, and then he himself would ruin it. Yes he was the culprit right through. He didn't try to understand her.
Armaan growled in pain that was eating him, opening his eyes slightly he looked in front of himself, He could see anjali glaring at him that made him cautious, "Anjali and temper" that's not at all a good idea. He knew that even in half conscious of his mind. He was still on high. Desperate to do something, Anjali went to kitchen and brought fresh lime juice for him to knock some sense into him. They needed to talk a little and it was needed to be done just now, sitting beside him anjali catches him by his shoulder and leaning into him she asked him looking straight into his eye, Armaan gulped, 'One thing that scares him was anjali, he respects her a lot as she was his little sister and he adored her but when ever she gets angry, she is really hard to handle which she was now. He looked cautiously into her eyes gulping, "He knew he was in for a big lecture now!!"
"What is this armaan??" She asked glaring, "What have you done to yourself??"
Armaan heard her tell him that, it intensified some pain of his sore heart. He knew he deserves what he was going through at the moment, He looked back at her hearing the desperation in her voice now.
"For god's sake Armaan tell me what's wrong Damn-it" Anjali blasted at him desperate, she was concerned for her brother, She knew him what he must be feeling. She knew he needs to get it out of him. Atul looked at anjali and kept his hands on her shoulder as if stopping him from stressing further. Anjali looked back at atul and nodded at him understanding his gesture, she has to be little gentle to get him out of this, she knew it was something different this time she could just make it out. she needs to do this and she knew what she was doing.
"She hates me!!" He whispered again. Anjali heard it and groaned 'How many time will he tell this? He is searching for her since ages and has not been able to find her. God knows if she is still alive or not??' she thought against her hope praying to god that her fear might not be the truth. 'Why is he giving pain to his own self??' She huffed.
"She hates me anjali, She hates me!!" a lump was forming in his throat as her words rung in his ears again.
"I Hate you Mallik, I Despise you!!"
"Don't touch him. He is not yours!!"
'It hurts him more every time he remembers that, as if she was stabbing his wounded soul umpteenth time again and again when ever he thinks about her. The possibility of her hating him made him so weak he was not able to take that burden, 'she was the only reason he was living for. If she would hate him then what would he live for??' He thought to himself looking straight into eyes of anjali he didn't wanted to let himself loose in front of them getting up from the sofa he made his way toward the window and looked back at them and before he knew a lump formed in his throat bursts making him yelp in agony as he broke down right in front of them yelping in agony of loosing her again.
Anjali looked shocked at him. It didn't take them a second to recognize what he may be going through, Atul quickly knelled over in front of him while Anjali carefully made her way to sit on his right, carefully taking his right hand in her palm taking all care of herself as she was in sixth month, she held him close to herself.., gently holding her stomach.......trying hard not to get panic herself in in this state as it was not good for her ownself.......
She grimaced, 'Seeing him in this condition was something definitely out of the blue for them, knowing him for such a long time neither of them had witnessed this side of him, He was like a child at the moment who was crying as if he had lost his favorite toffee or any thing dear to him. He was always that strong man who never cried for anyone nor did for himself. But since the time he had met her, he had changed drastically 'but for good or for Bad??' They didn't knew!! 'if crying and mourning for love was a good thing!! then it was for good as he was doing just that........' seeing his sore red eyes as the tears were flowing down uncontrollably now as if they just got freedom after being imprisoned in that lonesome eyes of his for years now. Anjali looked at him her heart feeling for him, 'It hurts her to see him like this! Why wont it??' .unable to hold her own tears any longer, she gently held him by the shoulders and turned him to face her since it was killing her from inside to see her 'happy-go-lucky brother in such a misery'........on the other hand, taking his hand in him, Atul tried to comfort him as well, he knew they had to be strong now to get it out of him........
"shh!!! ....... Armaan ..... Did you meet her??" Anjali softly initiated the conversation, It wasn't a question front her side, somewhere she knew that he had met her, Yes he could make it out from his state it was a statement, a concerned statement whose answer she knew.......Armaan tried desperately not to breakdown in front of them, he was not like this, not at all. This was not armaan mallik everyone knew, still in a dilemma to express his misfortune, he was freaking out as he continuously looked everywhere but them......finding his wife hard to handle his friend, Atul tried again, "Armaan!!!....relax man!!!.....Is she alright??.....where did you find her?? Why didn't you tell us?? did you talk to her?? .... What did she tell??" He blasted out numerous question at him till he was hit hard on his stomach by groaning anjali, He looked at her confused, she glared "What??" he asked.
She glared back again and looked at armaan, She would handle her crazy husband later but she needed to handle her brother now, she looked at him concerned, "Armaan please you have to tell us, talke it out armaan??' she told him and sighed seeing him staring into nothingness, defeated by silence she asked finally, "Does she still lov...." she could not finish the sentence when his heartrending voice broke down making him flinch hearing pain in his voice, "..... She hates me.....She hates me Diii…She hates me!! She didn't let me meet…." A fresh pool of tears fell making him cry in pain not able to continue anymore he looked down.
The tears finally made its way down her cheeks as soon as his agonizing voice hit her ears like an arrow ripping her soul apart......., 'She could understand what he would be feeling' gently squeezing his shoulders for a while letting her tear fall, she rested her cheek against his right shoulder as she couldn't find any proper word to console her brother.......
'She hates me Anjali! She hates to see me, could you believe it?? She told it right on my face!' He told them defeated, he had gone to see her with so much of hope but it all went in vain.
'She despises me!!" He whispered again in his teary voice. "I saw that pain in her eyes Atul, the pain that I gave her that day, its still fresh as if it had happened just yesterday, it pained me even more to see her like that but......" He stopped feeling the lump forming in his throat again, He growled defeated 'I am the reason for her pain anjali......i am reason for all her misery she is in"taking her right hand into his, he confessed helplessly looking at her, He knew he was the reason and so was he guilty for that too but then what will happen with his guilt??
Controlling him armaan looked into eyes of anjali, "Why it does always happens to me??" He asked himself rather then to them.
"Am i that bad that she even hates to let my shadow fall on that little… ??" He whispered with teary voice but stopped not being able to continue further as he was reminded how ruthlessly she had rocked his baby away from his hold denying his right on him.
She heard him and tried her best to soothe him not getting what he was meaning to say about the 'little' thing, "please don't say that Armaan.....we know, you never intended to hurt her, it all happened because of some misunderstanding that you had developed off her and even you love her right from time you have seen her......so don't blame yourselves completely. Give her some time and very soon she will also realize it......I am sure you will get your place in her life that you deserve to be"......she told him looking straight into his eyes.
"No i won't ....." He growled. 'How would i get that place when she denied me a place in her heart???' .......He thought for a while, and then whispered, 'She will never forgive me anjali, She hates me!! She thinks I want to take 'our son' away from her......She thinks I will again take her happiness away from her" He finished making both of them stare at him with a stunned look on their faces.......
Anjali looked at atul and shared a meaningful glance, It was not that they were shocked by hearing about the child, they knew it would have happened because Armaan had shared everything about their night with them, but the way he spoke it with so much warmth and care surprised them, it was the words 'our son' that surprised them........ in order to reassure himself Atul asked not sure at all"....your son??...." Armaan heard it, his eyes softened a bit relieving him of physical strain that he was going through, his lips slightly curved up to a smile just by mention of him as 'his son' it felted like honey to his ear, he was carving to hear it, exasperated he spoke delighted "......yes......He is my son......could you believe it guys???.....I am going to be a father…. MY SON!!!...." he excitedly informed them in amusement, seeing the excitement in him anjali squealed smiling through her teary eyes finally, gently wiping his tears off his face by her index finger anjali looked up at him flashing a broad smile, She was delighted after witnessing the sweet childish side of him that made them to pray to god to keep him smiling. It did heal his tender heart.
Armaan got up from ground where he was mourning just minutes ago, his child was a new inspiration for his bruised soul, he moved toward the sofa and looked back at them speaking in delight " He looks exactly like me yaar, My Xerox copy, so cute, I had felt so thrilled when he had touched me.......you won't believe he has that same eyes, same nose, I wanted to hold him but......" he narrated keeping a smile on his face which turned into desperation at then end, desperation to hold his own blood, to love him.......
Atul saw the change of expression on his face, it hurts to see him so vulnerable, " Oh ho!!!.....so we already got a latest yet little version of another Armaan Mallik.....oh boy as if one wasn't enough that god had made two Armaan Mallik's!!!.....Awww…I can't wait to meet him...." Atul answered winking at his friend trying to cheer him up and armaan instantly smiled at him hearing the word Jr Armaan from him.
Anjali heard it and squealed in joy, "Exactly!!!!" but then she fell in deep thought later shouting in sheer surprise "......wait..." she stopped when she realized it, ".....that means......she loves you Armaan......" making both Armaan and Atul look at her........rolling eyes she continued to prove her statement, " arre budhdhu, if she didn't love you then she would have never given birth to your son in the first place, she would have just aborted it!! Who would like to take the seed of her misery with herself?? ....... but she did!! That means that she loves you ...... she might be scared to admit it ....... she might be scared to trust her destiny again as it always gave her nothing but pain......." she told dejected.
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Armaan looked at her gate, he was not at all scared standing in front of her house as he was determined this time, he was sure that she loves him, Yes he agrees with what anjali had said to him, How delighted he was to hear that from her… 'How foolish i was to think that she doesn't love me??' he growled at himself, 'How??' If she wouldn't have had any feelings for me then she would have never given birth to my child'...Yes why would she do that??'' he thought to himself cursing for his lack of faith in her. He was determined this time to make her believe that he love her. Yes he was!!
All determined to get the love of his life back to his life he entered her apartment, rather her Bungalow. He will win her!!, making his way through her front gate he peeped through the door which was kept open, he groaned seeing no one inside ' How can she be so careless?? She has kept her door open with no one to look for it.?? I have to give some peace of mind to her.' He made a note of it to himself opening the door slightly he made his way inside reminding himself not to loose his cool, he has to be gentle. He cursed himself again 'Not now armaan all piece of mind can be given after marriage' Yes he was planning for marriage, he had dreamed of them living together like a happy family. His mind was working in all direction. He will get her back at any cost. She has to come back as Armaan Mallik never looses to anyone, not even 'Mr Rahul Garewal' her would be fiance.
He strolled through main area and reached living area and was rooted to the spot looking at the site in front of his eyes, there in front of him was his little 'bundle of joy', his child who was playing with that 'buboo'. Armaan looked in awe at him. 'Who won't be?? He was so cute to resist! He was his blood man. There would be some birth born charms that he casts on all of them that they just get attracted to this little bundle of joy, taking control of his heaving heart he looked at him still in daze, he was finally in front of him all alone and he could do anything he wants, he could love him, he could play with him.
Ryan was busy with himself, it had been real hectic day for him. 'Hectic??' It was not that he had done lots of work, neah he was just a kid for that, too small.
It was the day that we say a bad day for him. He was little irritated today as anchal didn't visit him today, He had not seen his beautiful face, his beautiful smile that makes his heart flip in joy. Yes that little girl has that effect of him and he enjoys it. He was so craving for her, she was his little crush and he wants to see her all the time but today she was playing with that elephant Abhi. 'Her Motu brother' He giggles slightly shifting from his crib. Yes elephant, that also 'A chipku-irritating-elephant' who doesn't allows her to meet him. 'What is his problem?? He is just jealous of me!' thought Ryan. He doesn't like that abhi one bit!! I will not do anything to his sister.
Growling he looked at 'buboo' in his hand, imagining it to be Abhi he smiled cunningly and threw it hard making it bounce on floor and jump up again hitting the floor. He giggled as if he had really knocked abhi out, chuckling he got up on his crib taking hold of the side handles that was there and jumped in joy seeing the buboo lying on the floor. He was having great time with that, Yes it was true that he didn't like it but he had compromised with her mother as she has promised him to get that superman and spider man series he wanted soon and even he could imagine it to be abhi and do what he wants to do with him, that is great fun..
Ryan looked at 'bubbo' which was now lying on the floor away from his grasp and he needed that, he was having deep urge to pull his hair and kick it hard so that all his irritation could pent out of him. He tried to reach for it but was not able to do it as he was too small. He looked down trying to get down from the crib but immediately got back scared seeing the height, he cursed mentally again, 'Why was he so small and why does his mum always puts him in this crib?' Huh!! He huffed sadly, it was not like he didn't like crib, no it was good and he needed it too as he couldn't sleep without it, Bringing his concentration back to 'bubbo' he thought of various options to get his hands on that buboo but frowned seeing it hanging in front of his eyes. He looked up to see someone standing in front of him holding that buboo.
Armaan looked at him admiringly, he loved his reaction as if he was in deep thought, he loved his giggling, his chuckling. He grimaced, how much has he missed of him? 'He didnt knew his name too'
'What kind of father was he??' He grimaced for a while and making his way he went toward buboo as he saw ryan looking for it and stood on his knees in front of him holding the 'buboo' for him.
Armaan looked in awe at him, reminding himself of the gift he had bought he took it out and gave him 'Guess what it was??' Yes that was what the kid Ryan needed. Ryan bursts in joy as he saw his favorite toy, Giggling seeing the Spider man and superman in front of him he beamed in happiness. 'Awww mum you brought it for me??' he thought. 'she is my angel' he raised his hand to pick it up but frowned seeing some unknown person holding it up for him. 'Huh who is he??' He thought. His baby mind was making all possible conclusion to find if he had seen him anywhere before. He was a smart kid and he recognized him, He was the guy who had saved him from falling that day, but later he had seen him holding his momma too and made her angel cry. He just looked at him not at all pleased, he was scared of him.
"What is he doing here?? " He will make my angel cry again, I don't like to see my angel cry. She never lets me cry then why should i let her cry??" He groaned looking at the intruder not having any soft corner for him. Armaan frowned looking at him. 'Why is he looking like this?'
'Didn't he like the gift?' He looked at him looking scared at him, ' I thought my kid would like superman and spider man more then this Dog' he thought to himself but grimaced seeing him looking not at all pleased with the gift or was it something else??
Armaan tried to hold him but frowned seeing him jerk back resisting his touch as if he was scared. Armaan frowned "What happened to him? Is he denying me too?? Disowning my love?' He felt dejected by the rejection. His own child was not letting him touch him. He looked at Ryan, his eyes becoming moist.
Ryan looked at the man in front of him. He had jerked back not letting him touch himself, Yes he had saved him that day but he had made angel cry too. He let out a little wail seeing no one around. He wanted his angel now, Right now she would save him from this stranger, He looked scared at armaan.
Not finding his angel and being desperate to get out of the crib he stood up and tried to jump out of it, loosing his balance in the process and to worst of his dreams he found himself falling out of crib, he wailed loudly scared to get hurt but found himself in the embrace of the stranger, instantly he felt the connection as his hands caught hold of his tiny ones and rested on his heaving chest. He felt that warmth that he gets in arm of his angel. 'Why?' he didn't know. It was not for the first time he had felt it, he had felt same on that day too when he had saved him from falling down when he had appeared suddenly in his house for first time. He had felt that strange bond. Finding him taking a hold of his tiny soft fingers in between his thumb and index and then taking it close to his lips and kissing it he giggled his heart thudding from fear that was gripped in him as he was just falling out of crib, Ryan looked in awe at armaan now. He wasn't scared now, he felt the tenderness and affection in him as he usually feels in the arms of his angel and his Buddy 'Lahul', as soon as his cold hand found its hold on his little soft ones, he let out a sigh ....... he didn't understand what this feeling was?? but he knew one thing that he wont hurt him, he didn't knew what this feeling meant but he also feels same in his mothers arm and she doesn't hurts him so wont he too…..He knew that stranger was protecting him from getting hurt just like his mother does, he didn't wanted him to fall back and get hurt by the floor nor he wanted to hurt him by his sudden grip of his hands as his grip was so tender and soft, it had all the warmth and love, Yes he was scared when he was rocked out of crib suddenly and was falling down of it but now being in his arms, for some reason he felt protected and finally looked at him smiling then something caught his eyes and his eyes sparkled, He wanted that!!
.Armaan looked at ryan so close to him, he felt this strange bond as soon as he crashed him to his chest shielding him from any pain, he was scared to death seeing him falling. Nuzzling him close to his chest he kissed him till he could hear him giggle and his heart beat was settled. Ryan was busy in his task and enjoying his pampering as he was not being interrupted in his current task, which was, exploring the new discovery that was attached in the stranger's left ear, with his tiny chubby fingers ....... simply loving the attachment with the stranger.....he beamed in joy finally being succeeded in his mission, he was looking for the Bluetooth headset that was hanging in ears of Armaan, he took it out of his ears and instantly made its way to his mouth to taste it but stopped scared after hearing that sweet and strict voice,
"Don't do it Love……….Yeeeeeeee….Its bad….." She told him and rocked the babay out of hold of armaan and glared back at him. "Why is he here for now?? Didn't he have enough that day??" She glared back at armaan taking Ryan out of his hold.
Ryan looked up at his momma as she was glaring at him and then she looked at stranger, he beamed she didn't take it away from me. He giggled, 'I Like this man!! He lets me do what i want to!!' he looked closely at bluetooth headset, it was something new...he had never seen it any where, What is it?? He thought still looking at it, he giggled as tendrills on his angel was falling over his face, he moved them and growled, he doesn't like it at all when she moves it away from his face, he loves that feeling on her silky hair hitting his small face, he nuzzled into her still inspecting the 'object' he had taken from ears of that stranger then he thought of something, taking it in his other hand he tried to put it into his small ears but growled as it fell from his ears falling down on floor, he cried...'he needed that' ....looking at riddhima he pouted as she glared at him.
"Don't do that love" then she looked at armaan who was looking at her in awe.
"What are you doing here Mr mallik??" She asked him making him come out of his dreamy state.
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To be contd.....
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