last part. half truth half lie - Page 16

"what have I done?? I shouldn't have done that. Pagal hai tu bhi arman. aisa bhi koi karta hai? Ghussay tk to theek tha. I mean obviously ghussa to ana hi tha jb wo is tarha door jayegi to per usko yun band nahi karna chahiye tha" it was afternoon when arman in his room was saying all this to himself. He decided to bring her up back so he went downstairs in the basement. He opened the door and found ridhima sitting on the floor resting her head and back with the wall. She didn't responded to arman. he slowly walked upto her and sat down beside her. she still didn't moved.

"I'm sorry" said arman softly yet she didn't moved. She had her eyes opened but she wasn't turning towards him.

"ridhima I'm sorry. mujhe ghussa agaya tha k tum istarha mujhe chod kar jarahi thi per I know mujhe aisa nahi karna chahiye tha." Ridhima stood up from there and walked away to sit on a chair which was placed in a corner of the room. Arman followed her as well.

"ridhima please upar chalo"

"tum ne kaha tha jb tk main apni zid se nahi hatti tb tk yaheen rahungi main to fine ab yaheen rahungi main jb tk meri zid nahi khatam hoti" ridhima said looking sideways.

"ridhima please I'm…" arman sat down on his knees beside her.

"arman jao yahan se"

"ridhima main…"

"arman just leave"

"please"

"leave-me-alone-arman" ridhima looked at him angrily. Arman knew she wouldn't get up and forcing her wouldn't be right so he quietly stood up and went upstairs. This time he left the door open. He had just taken a step when ridhima walked upto the door and closed it behind him angrily. Arman was sad while ridhima sat beside the wall angrily.

Upstairs, arman thought how he was going to bring ridhima upstairs and how he would calm her down. He thought he would cook for her and take it to her. he quickly made some rice and salad. In about an hour he was going back downstairs to her. he walked inside and found her sitting beside the door. He sat down there and gave the tray forward to her. she turned her face away. Arman place the tray on the floor and took the plate in his hands. He pushed it forward slowly to her but she pushed his hand away. Arman filled the spoon and tried to make her eat but she refused to eat. She slid sideways away from him. Arman placed the plate back in tray and took the glass of juice to her.

"ridhima I'm really sorry" he gave her the glass of juice but she refused to take it.

"ridhima please upar chalo. I'm sorry" he pushed the glass forward once again and this time ridhima took the glass from his hands and threw it forcefully away on the floor and said angrily,

"tum samajhte kiya ho apne ap ko han?? Jb tumhara dil kiya mujhe utha ka kahin bhi le jatay ho. Mujhe kuch mehsoos nahi hota?? Jb tumhara dil kiya tum mujhpe ghussa karta ho jb dill kiya pyar se bat karte ho! Ghussa sirf tumhain ata hai mujhe nahi?? Istarha mujhe yahan le aye or phir istarha behave bhi karte ho mujhse. Main koi khelne ki cheez nahi hun dr.arman jisay jab chaha pyar kiya or jb chaha utha k kisi kamre main band kar diya. Tumhain jana hai tum jao per main ab kabhi nahi aongi wapas."

"ridhima please listen to me"

"I don't want to listen anything arman. kuch nahi sunna mujhe. Jao yahan se. aj tk… aj tk kabhi mere sath kisi ne aisa nahi kiya. Wo… wo jo meri maa ki itni burai karte ho na tum… unhon ne bhi kabhi aisa nahi kiya mere sath jaisa aj tum ne kiya" ridhima had started crying and arman was feeling more and more guilty with himself. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and walked away from him.

"ab dekhti hun kaun mujhe yahan se le k jata hai. Or main ne jo bhi faisla liya bilkul theek liya"

"ridhima aisa mat kaho please or chalo yahan se"

"main to sirf keh rahi hun na arman tumhare to jo man main ata hai tum karte ho. Jao yahan se or khabardar jo mere qareeb aye ya mujhe choonay ki koishish bhi ki tum ne warna dobara mujhe kabhi nahi dekh paogay" she had fright deep down in her voice that what was he going to do after what he had already done but she kept her anger as a shield between him and herself.

"ridhima I'm really sorry"

"mujhe nahi sunna ye sb." Arman slowly stepped back and went back upstairs. He sat in drawing room on the couch and held his head. He knew what he did was wrong.

"per ab ridhima ko kaise manaon? Neeche itni suffocation hai or wo istarha wahan kb tk bethi rahegi? DAMMIT"said arman and he lied down on the couch. He closed his eyes but couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned for quiet a lot of time. Soon he got fed up and when he sat he saw the time. It was 7pm. He turned his head towards ridhima's room upstairs but the door was still opened as it was in the morning so she hadn't returned yet. Arman got worried. He ran downstairs and found her sleeping on the floor. The food was left untouched and she was sleeping in a corner of the room beside some old boxes. It was suffocating inside even though the door was opened. He went close to her and sat down beside her. tears were still glistening on her face. The guilt inside arman was roaring like a monster who was eating him from inside. He hesitatingly touched her face and wiped her tears. When she didn't woke up he picked her carefully in his arms making sure that she wouldn't wake up. As he stood up she rested her head on his arm. He smiled to himself and took her up to his own room.

He wanted to make sure that she was alright. So he kept her there with him. He sat beside her and caressed her hair.

"I'm sorry ridhima. i'm really sorry. Main bohat bura hun per main tumse bohat pyaar karta hun. Kb samjho gi tum?" he took a sigh and kissed her forehead.

Finally ridhima woke up and she saw arman sitting beside her on the bed. She sat up immediately in fright and adjusted her dupatta and neck line. She turned to get up from bed when arman said,

"ridhima kahan jarahi ho??"

"marne jarahi hun. Uspe bhi masla hai kiya!"

"ridhima please…"

"shut up arman. just shut up. I don't want to listen anything." She got up from the bed when arman held her hand.

"don't touch me arman" she shouted, jerked his hand away and went outside. She didn't knew where to go so she went in the backyard. It was quiet dark outside and wind was blowing. Arman followed her there and said,

"ridhima ek bar meri bat sun lo"

"kuch sunne ko hai hi nahi arman or mujhe sunna bhi nahi hai kuch"

"ridhima…" he stepped close to her.

"arman tum khud yahan se jaogay ya phir main yahan se jaon?" ridhima turned to face him.

"nahi jaonga main yahan se" he said with a determined look.

"fine to phir main jarahi hun" she walked back inside and he didn't stopped her as he knew she was angry. She went upstairs in her room.

"ghussa ho I know that. Meri ghalti hai ye bhi janta hun. Or mujhe hi theek karni hai wo bhi pata hai. Ab nahi dekha jata mujhse ye sb. Tum mere qareeb ho k b mujhse door ho… I promise agle do din tk tum meri baahon main hogi. Mujhe maaf kar k or meri ho k. I promise that." He said to himself and took a deep breath.