Vmix & OS- VeeBa & RanJan- Vmix on Veeba on Page 13 - Page 6

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BeautyFooL thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#51

Originally posted by: sunny303

Amazing update! Any possibility of turning this OS into a full-fledged FF?? 😛

Sunny ji, Sastriyakal!! Really glad to read ur comment.. Very happy to have a great friend like u on this Forum.. Ur comment brought a big smile on my face the other day ;) don't knw abt a full fledged FF but I ll try to experiment with this OS [Actually already doing it ;)]..Thanks again fr encouraging words..😳 😃
BeautyFooL thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#52
@Arjunzadi - Thanks for ur comment.. Appreciate it..

@ Sonu- monu - Thank u fr commenting.. Glad that u liked it..

@DazzilerDizzy - Thanks a lot fr ur encouragement..

@Overactor - Thanks fr appreciation.. Loved ur OS, SS.. U r going great..

@Krazzy4u76 - Thank u so muchhh.. Ur comment means a lot..

@ IsleOfCapri - Thanks a ton fr lovely comment.. Really appreciate it..

@Nicky13 - Thanks a lot fr ur encouragement.. Glad u liked it..

@Sparkle2985 - Thanks dear.. Appreciate ur comment..

@TheSnowman - Thank u so much!! Glad u liked it.

@khuwaahish - Thank u so much yaar.. So happy that u liked it.. Thanks fr commenting.

@Sonal 30- Thanks a ton dear fr positive wors.. Glad to know u liked it

@a4aarsh - thank u so much.. Will surely PM u. Glad u liked it.

@Dreamygatz- Gayatri, No probs.. Take ur own good time.. Will wait patiently fr ur comment.. U too are doing a fab job in writing..

Thank u each and everyone who pressed like button and who commented.. Ur appreciations really mean a lot..

BeautyFooL thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#53

Hey friends,

I am back with another OS.. Its kind of continuation of my last VeeBa & RanJan OS.. Apart from RanVeera bonding, I find GunDev bonding quite fascinating after a leap.. Tried to cover that also in ths OS.. Hope you all enjoy reading this one..

Thanks,

Namy

Ps: Apologise in advance if u find OS a bit long😳 It wasnt intended but happened😆 Have devided it in two parts for easy reading.. Do press like button and Comment if u like it.. Ur appreciation means a lot..

RanJan - Realization of Love

VeeBa - Enemies or Frenemies??

That night seemed the longest and never ending in Preetampura -

It was past midnight and Veera was still wide awake. Despite exhaustion & tiredness, she wasn't able to sleep.. After tossing and turning for good twenty minutes, she finally gave up. She got out of bed and started pacing in the room. "Maine ab dono jhumkhe ghuma diye hai. Beejee ne inne pyar se muje pehli baar kuchh diya aur who bhi maine ghuma diya." She sulked. "Aur yeh sab na uss Baldev ki wajah se hi hua hai" She had no reason to blame him for negligence on her part, yet it felt good.. "Baldev, grrr..." She fumed and paused. "Ek minute, mai inni raat ko uss kay baareme kyo soch rahi hu?" She smacked her forehead and kept pacing back & forth in her room.

Baldev woke off from his sound sleep, barely breathing, at vivid memories of accident. He tried to get up but his head felt dizzy. He forced open his eyes but his vision blurred. He clutched his pillow tight," Oye Veera, eik din kay wastel bhul jande hai ki hum dono dushman hai.. Mera hath chhadna nahi.. Nahi toh mai gir jawanga."He sputtered in his sleep.. Clutching pillow moretight, he closed his eyes again. Finally he was past dreaming and it was no long before the accumulated exhaustion and pain took its toll and he sunk into slumber.

Gunjan kept tossing and turning in her bed, desperately trying to get some sleep. Today Insomnia had hit her and her mind kept on wandering back to Ranvi's last words.. Those intruding words had blocked her every thoughts, protests, clarifications, dreams.. Ranvi had power to see through her soul and that realization had terrified her. Her heart ached with wrenching sobs. "Mai ki kara, Ranvi?" She whispered. The calm of tears finally broke away.

-Ranvi stayed motionless in his bed. One arm crooked behind his head, he kept staring at ceiling. His mind kept darting back to earlier event. Gunjan's miserable face occupied his every thought. He took a deep breath in attempt to blot out anguish that he was experiencing, but it stayed. "Hey Wahe Guruji, Gunjan ki madad kara." He prayed. Unable to sleep anymore, he slowly pushed himself out of bed.

*********

Next morning, Baldev jerked open his heavy eyelids at some noises. His head felt heavy from deep sleep. He closed his eyes again.

"Baldev puttar, tu utha k nahi.. Uth ja tere liye haldi wala dudh bhijwa rahi hu."Beejee's loud voice awakened him again. He sat up slowly in his bed.

"Subah subah ek eenu bhi chain nahi hai.. Subah huwi nahi k chapar chapar chalu ho jandi hai inki" He grumbled and rubbed his forehead which was still throbbing. Suddenly, something that felt like a metal gazed his cheekbone. Abruptly, his eyes fell on a lone earring which was securely hanging on the sleeve of his shirt.

"Ae ki hai?" He removed it and his gaze narrowed as reality hit him, "O terri" He smacked his forehead. "Toh kal raat koi wadda wala bura sapna nahi tha. Uss mastarni ne sach mai meri madad kari hai." He ran his hand through his hair "Ae ki siyapa ho gaya Baldevvv.. Manaa kar riya si ki pi kay gaddi mat chala.. ab bhukat.. Ab woh mastarni is ehsaan ka badla jurur legi." He grumbled again.

"Baldev puttar, tu sun raha hai na meri gal." Beeji's yelled from downstairs and it riled him.

"Uth gaya hu bejee.. thoda thand paao.." He yelled back.

"Veerji, aap inna chilla kyo rahe ho inni subah subah?" Gunjan stepped into his bedroom with a glass of milk. Instantly, he put the earring in his shirt pocket.

"Umm t...tu ki kar rahi hai mere kamre mai inni subah subah?" He stammered.

Gunjan sat beside him and lifted glass to his face" Mai na aap k liye yeh layi hu. Jaldi se pi lo."

Baldev stared at glass, "Ae ki hai? Haldiwala dudh?" He puckered his nose. " Beeji ka bhi na dimag khrab ho gaya hai.. Mai nahi pi ne wala koi haldi wala dudh. Huh." He shook his head.

Gunjan's eyes fell on his forehead, "Hayo rabba, inna wada ghav.. Bee ji ne abhi bataya menu k aap ko chot lagi hai.. zyada dard toh nahi ho raha na, Veer ji?" She asked concernedly.

Baldev grinned at her. "Oye assi sher hai.. Aur sher nu inni chhoti moti choto se dard nahi honda." He noticed dark circle under her eyes. He paused for a second. His smile replaced with a frown when he spoke again," Yeh chhad, tu menu ee das tu thik hai na, Gunjan?"

"Umm.." Gunjan shrugged. "Menu ki hona hai Veerji. Mai ekdum wadiya hu." She smiled, but her smile didn't reach her eyes. She noticed her brother was studying her closely. Instantly, she diverted her gaze from his face to the glass of milk that she was holding for him. " Ab aap yeh pite ho ki mai Beejee nu bulau?"

Gunjan deliberately changed the subject which didn't go unnotice by Baldev. He sighed and opened his mouth to speak. Finding perfect opportunity, Gunjan lifted glass to his lips and pinched his nose with her fingers.

"Gunjan ruk, ae ki kar rahi hai tu?" Baldev gasped.

Gunjan was quick in her action "Ab tussi chup chap yeh pi jao." Taken off guard, Baldev had no option but to swallow milk.

Once task done, she quickly got up from his bed with a victorious smile.

"Gunjan, yeh panga na tenu bhari padega." Baldev faked anger wiping his lips with his shirt sleeve. A teasing smile played on his lips.

"Koi na Veerji, dekh lenge." She stuck out her tongue. Baldev smiled adoringly at his sister's antics as she left from there.

************

In the morning, Ranvi found his sister in a foul mood. He arched an eyebrow to Chaee ji and Chaee ji shrugged her shoulder, "Chhote chand, lagda hai chichdi ki na neend puri huee nahi hai. Subah se khud se hi gal kiye ja rahi hai. Tu hi puchh le shayad tenu hi bata de. Waise lagta hai tu bhi soya nahi hai thik se Puttar." She patted his cheek and left from kitchen.

Ranvi stepped inside. "Oye Veerakhadi ki gal hai? Ki hoya tenu? Ki badbada rahi hai khud se?" He asked tenderly.

"Veer ji, achha hua aap uth gaye. Mera na aaj mood bohot kharab hai. Aur main na Rab ji se bhi naraz hu. Bhalai ka toh koi zamana hi nahi raha." She grumbled.

"Veerakhdi, kahin tu is k liye toh Rab ji se naraz nahi hai na?" Ranvi asked with a teasing smile, holding her lost earring in his hand.

"Veerjeee, mera jhumkha.. Ae kithhe mila aap ko? "She screeched happily.

"Shhh Veera.. Inna chilla kay pure pind nu ikattha kar dena hai kya.. " Ranvi handed her earring," Kal raat ae menu mere kamre mai pada mila. Tu so gayi thi isliye tenu jagaya nahi." He stroked her hair adoringly.

"Veer jeee." She exasperated. "Aap ko andaza bhi nahi hai kay is ko dhudhne kay chakkar mai kinna bada siyapa ho gaya kal raat."

"Mutlub? Ki siyapa hua kal raat ko?" Ranvi asked worriedly.

"Veer ji wo mai.." Veera shrugged, sighed and then narrated entire story of last night to Ranvi.. Leaving superfluous details to herself..

"Veera, ki kara mai tera !! Ki zarurat thi tenu inni raat ko ghar se akele nikalne ki? Menu utha nahi sakti thi? Agar tenu ..." Ranvi spoke worriedly.

Veera held her ears and apologized, "Sorry veer ji ab aap gussa na karo mere nal.. Aap ko toh pata hai na yeh jhumkhe Beejee nai diye hai menu." She continued as her eyes turned a bit misty, " Aur maine enu dhudhne wastey dusre kaan ka jhumkha ghuma diya" Her eyes welled up with unshed tears, "Ab mai ki kara, Veerji? "

Ranvi stroked her hair," Arey tu toh mera bahadur wala bachha hai. Aise ronde nahi.. Tu chinta na kar, jaise yeh mil gaya hai waise wo bhi mil jana hai. Aur sun, dubara se menu puchhe bina tu kahin bhi nahi jayegi inni raat ko." He kissed her hair tenderly. "Chal ab jaldi se waddi wali muskan dikha de apni. Menu Gurudware bhi jana hai. Mai Wahe Guruji se kahanga k jaldi se tera jhumkha dhundh k dede tenu" Ranvi spoke lovingly.

Veera smiled tenderly at his Veerji. Ranvi left and Veera stared at earring "Mata rani isse mila diya ab is kay partner nu bhi mila do."

*********

Baldev stared at a lone pair of earring, "Tenu tod-fod kay fekne ka man toh bohot kar raha hai, par uss mastarni ne na meri madad kar kay mere sir pe ek ehsaan mal ditta hai.. Aur Baldev na koi ehsaan nahi rakhta apne sir wich.. Par ab samsya ye hai ki aaj menu uss mastarni ka muh bhi nahi dekhna aur tenu wapis bhi karna hai.. Yeh mai karanga kaise? " He rubbed his beard for a moment. Sighing, he put back that lone earring in his pocket and left from his house.

***************

Ranvi reached Gurudwara and prayed to Wahe Guruji for wellbeing of his family, Pind and for Gunjan.. As he turned, he found Gunjan standing next to him. Her pure & innocent look mesmerized him.. Gunjan felt a knowing tender gaze on her face and she turned. She stared straight in his compelling eyes. Ranvi didn't like the dark shadow under her beautiful eyes and suddenly he remembered the promise that he'd made to himself last night. He had promised himself that he wasn't going to push Gunjan anymore. It was a high time for her to figure out what she wanted from her life, from him. Hastily, he diverted his gaze and left from there. Gunjan's heart sank in despair at Ranvi's behavior. He folded her hands and prayed, "Hey Rabji, meri madada kara.. Mere naal ek Ranvi hi hai jo menu bohot ache se samjta hai.. Ennu merese door mat karna." She finished and ran off behind Ranvi.

Outside Gurudwara, Ranvi bumped into Dalveer . Before he uttered any word, Gunjan abruptly halted beside him breathing hard.. As if she had done marathon to reach there. Ranvi didn't glance in her direction. Abruptly, he spoke, "Dalveer mai tenu baad mai milta hu.. Menu bohot jaruri kaam hai abhi." Dalveer opened his mouth to speak but Ranvi signaled him not to utter any word. Swalowing a lump, Ranvi walked past Gunjan.. Gunjan's heart sunk in despair as he saw Ranvi walked past her, not even giving a single glance in her direction. She was baffled & upset by his action.

"Dalveer, enu ki hoya hai?" She asked Dalveer worriedly.

Dalveer just shrugged his shoulder and shook his head. Gunjan blinked back her eyes to fight back tears.

**********

Cont...

BeautyFooL thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#54

Baldev noticed his friends exchanging a sheepish smile after looking at his face and it annoyed him, " Oye khotyao, mere muh wich koi manoranjan ka programme chal raha hai, jo menu dekh dekh k hase (smile) ja rahe ho?"

"Woh Baldev paji, hum na woh kal raat kay bareme soch rahe the."

Baldev felt a bit uneasy at mention of last night. "Kal raat ko bhul jao.. Naya din nayi gal' honi chaiyye. Ki bolte ho? He laughed nervously at his senseless quote..

"Baldev paji, kal raat ko inne pyar se tussi ne veera ko jo bola hai, us k baad lagta toh nahi k Veera tenu kal raat k bareme inni aasani se bhul ne dengi" His friend Baggi smirked.

"O..ye k..ki bakwas kar rahe ho tum dono?" Baldev stammered and swallowed. "W.. waise k..ki bola tha maine uss Veera ko kal raat ko?" He inquired trying to sound nonchalant, taking a sip of tea.

His friend smirked again. " Woh Baldev Paji aapne bola tha ki 'Veera waise tu na inni buri bhi nahi hai.'.. Aur yeh bone kay baad tussi hase bhi the."

Baldev almost chocked on the tea from the shock. "Oye chup kar oye. Khotyao.. Kuchh bhi bakwas kiye ja rahe ho. Maine inni bhi nahi chada rakhhi thi kal raat kay mai inna wadda siyapa kar du. Huh.." He shook his head and continued, "Subah subah us jalli ka nam le kay chai ka mood khrab na kar oye." He exasperated and took a sip of tea but chocked on his tea again as he heard that Jalli' calling his name from behind.

Finding him chocking, Veera gave a solid blow on his back, " Oye Baldev, kabhi to koi kaam thik se kiya kar. Ab thik hai?" She inquired with a devious smile.

Heatedly, he turned and found her smiling slyly. "Tu samajti ki hai apne aap ko?" His voice was half-chocked gasp.

"Arey mai toh teri madad kar riya si. Aur ki kar rahi thi!" She shrugged her shoulders.

"Madad kar rahi thi ya maar rahi thi?" He gritted his teeth.

"Phitte muh tera.. agar marna hi hota toh yeh shubh kaam kal raat ko hi na kar ditta hota. Waise kal raat toh waddi tariff kiye ja raha tha meri." She beamed.

Baldev's face flushed as the vague memories of last night flashed in his mind. It made him jumpy. He retorted prickly," Oye Veera, agar tennu lagda hai ki kal raat k wastey mai tenu Thank you - mention not' bolanga, toh ae teri na sabse waddi wali' galatfehmi hai.. Kal raat me tere naal madad mangne wastey nahi aaya tha. Tenu hi sab k mamle wich tang dalne di aadat hai.. Din bhar ka time kam padta tha tenu ki ab raat ko bhi mera pichha karna shuru kar ditta hai tune?" He mocked her.

Veera's temper heated up at his mocking tone. She gritted her teeth and launched forward to strike him. To her shock, her shoes slipped and she stumbled backward instead. A shocking grasp erupted from her lips. All happened in a fraction of a second, Baldev caught her around the waist, his hands firm on her as he kept her from falling on the ground. Veera grabbed his collar for the support.

Veera's shocking gaze collided with his alarmed ones. Neither of them moved for a moment as something came over them. Veera found it difficult to breath as his close proximity was evoking an inexplicable feeling inside her heart. Her heart thundered loudly. Though his face was unreadable, his eyes were sparkling.. She shocked to notice that she indeed liked that sparkle in his mischievous eyes.. On the other hand, Baldev's lungs grew tight as the smell of her perfume momentarily drowned him. His heart pounded wildly. Baldev noticed a mysterious glint in her black eyes and he wondered how he'd never noticed such glint that realy suits her fearless personality.

Oblivious to them, their spectators (Baldev's friends) were looking at them openmouthed. Someone chuckled and reality hit Veera. Then, as quickly as it came, the feeling passed.

Veera recovered first and she snapped at Baldev, "Oye chhad menu."

Dumbstruck, Baldev narrowed his eyes. It took him a minute to register the reality; he regained his composure and retorted, "Pakad toh tune menu rakhha hai." He signaled his eyes where her hands were landed.

"Kabhi toh apni akkal sath le kay ghuma kar, Baldev. Beejee kay paas rakh kay na use jang lag jani hai.." She sneered at him and he glared back. "Mai chhad dwanga tera collar, pehle tu mainu sidha khada hone mai madad kar." She finished sarcastically.

"Han toh menu kaunsa tenu iss tarah pakad kay filmo wale gaane (Song) gaane hai. Khada hi kar riya tha tenu.. Kabhi toh apna muh bandh rakh ki chaabi ghar pe chhod aaya kar..Muh kholna hai aur bakwaas hi nikalni hai andar se.." He snapped back in an even tone.

Roughly, he pulled her up against him. Another startled grasp left from her mouth as she collided with the solid wall of muscle.. She stomped on his feet but he was quick in dodging it this time. She glared at him and he glared back.

"Chalo ab mere sir se ek bohot bada bojja utar gaya..Ab hisab barabar.. Kal tune menu uthaya, aur aaj assi ne tenu girne se bachaya.. Thik hai k nahi?" He arched his eyebrow while rubbing his beard, a shrewd smile hovering on his lips.

He had audacity to smile, her temper flared with a strong desire to throw something at him which could wipe off that smile from his lips.

"Gal to aise kar raha hai ki jaise menu pahad ki choti se girne bachaya hai.. Oye teri madad lene se pehle na mai sachhi mai koi pahad se kud jana pasand karangi." She snapped savagely.

"Arey inni waddi khushkhabri.. Roka kisne hai tenu.. woh raha pahad.. Aur ae rahi tu.. Jini baar marzi ho kuddi lagati reh, han.. Koi rokne shokne nahi wala tenu. Toh tata.. Bye- bye..Toh tu ab apne pahad wale ratey ja aur assi apne ratey."Baldev laughed slyly. Veera glared at him fiercely. He shook his head sarcastically and strode off, leaving Veera distinctively provoked and blatantly furious.

As he neared his bike, his friend whispered in his ear, "Paji menu toh lagda hai kudi mar miti hai aap pe."

Bladev flushed and grabbed his friend's collar, " Tu na jinni shakal di hai unni hi akkal chalaya kar. aur tere dimag ki zyada suni na toh meri toh shaadi bhi ho jani hai uss 'jalli' de naal." He spoke but then puzzled from where that thought came from.

Nervously, he swallowed and left released his friend's collar. Turning, he released a long breath and patted his pocket. "Hisab toh barabar ho gaya.. Ab iss jhumkha nu maar diya jaye kay chhad diya jaye?" He muttered to himself. Strangely, he felt guilty at the thought of destroying that earring..

************

Gunjan wandered everywhere in search of Ranvi. Finally, she found him in his farm with Karan. She walked towards them and spoke to Karan. "Karan, menu Ranvi se na akele mai kuchh baat karni hai."

Ranvi looked at her dumbstruck. Karan coughed and nodded his head, "Han han kyo nahi.. Mai ja hi raha tha." He smiled from Gunjan to Ranvi and walked from there.

Ranvi coughed and started to move away from her. Gunjan caught his wrist, halting him in his track. "Tu ae kyo kar raha hi mere naal, Ranvi?" As she spoke, her eyes and voice exposed her vulnerability and that was his undoing. With a great effort, he pulled away his gaze so that he could do some rational thinking.

"Mai wohi kar raha hu jo tune menu karne kay watey kaha tha kal. Gunjan, mai bas tenu khush dekhna chahnda hu. "Ranvi stopped as his throat felt dry. For a moment, he intrigued by her innocent gaze. Gunjan held her gaze trying to figure out what was going in his mind. There were unspoken words which were still hanging between them.. The last night he'd stirred a strange feeling inside her.. And how she was supposed to make him understand what she was feeling when she wasn't sure of her feeling.. How she was going to make him understand that she always felt lively, safe & secured whenever he was around her, that she trusted him blindly but she was so scared to voice it, that she would be shattered if she would lose him now.. that she love him.. Love him?' Love Ranvi??.. She gasped and blinked back moistures in her eyes.

Ranvi mystified to notice the emotions that played over her innocent face from hurt, to confusion, and then settled into something that he mistook to unnervingly despair'. He noticed water filling her eyes. It took every ounce of his willpower to hold back, suppressing an urge to reach for her, hold her and protect her from her fears that were stopping her to say what was there in her heart. He would be damned if he would pursue her for something which she doesn't want.. Even if it would kill him. Disheartened, he shook his head, and freed his wrist from her grasp. Forcing down a lump of emotions, he turned and left without a word.

For a moment Gunjan's mind went blank as she saw him leaving her. She wanted to run behind him and scream loudly that she loves him.. But her legs betrayed her.. She gazed at his taut back, utterly unable to speak or walk.. Despite her dilemma, she was now most certain about her feeling for Ranvi.. A delightful smile spread on her lips. She was feeling scared, delighted, confused, relieved.. all at the same time.. She released a breath that she was holding and put her palm on her heart to calm it down.

**********************

From far away, Karan witnessed this scene and he smiled. Veera came and stood beside him, fuming. "Yeh Baldev kit oh main na... Menu pahad se kuddi marne bol raha hai, kamina.. Kudna hi hai toh pehle use dhakka marugi aur fir kudugi.. huhhh."She sulked but Karan wasn't listening.

.

"Oye tu aise has kyo raha hai? Mai koi mazak nahi kar riya si." Veera grumbled.

"Arey Veera.. I am sorry I didn't listen what you said.. Mai toh yeh soch raha tha k.. don't you think Ranvi- Gunjan look so perfect together?"

"Hain, ae ki bol raha hai tu? Veer ji aur Gunjan di na wadde ache dost hai. Aur veer ji toh..." Veera spoke and stopped. Her eyes snapped together as her mind started doing double take. Veerji & Gunjan di?? Is she missing something here??

She looked heavenward," Hey Rabji, yeh jhumkhe wali mystry sulji nahi k ek aur mystery solve karne dedi aap ne.."

The same moment, Baldev's bike passed from a distant. Veera looked at his direction. Instantly their gaze clashed.. He looked from Veera to Karan to back at Veera. His eyes flashed anger and Veera returned favor with a similar glare.

"Tenu mai nahi chhadanga< Baldev." Veera vowed

"Tenu toh mai sabak sikha k hi rawanga, Veera." Baldev Vowed

----------------------------

Do press the Like button & Comment if u like it.. Appreciation & Criticism r equally inportant

PS: Apologize if you find update too long.. It wasn't intended but it happened.. ;) Comment & criticism.. Both r welcome..

Krazzy4u786 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#55
Wow I'm first!!
Amazing update!! Loved it!!
Can't w8 4 d nxt update!!!
Plz continue soon n thnx 4 d pm!!
Edited by Krazzy4u786 - 11 years ago
trisha17 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#56
Wow...its beautifulll.. 🤗.thanks a tn fr pm😛
Asyalover thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#57
aww...Veeba and Ranjan...part were so cute...thanks 4 da pm...cont soon
-Shwetha- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#58
wow... awesome nami...loved it yaar...❤️
S.H.I.E.L.D. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#59
OS1 - I LOVED the narration. It's like reading a book. Amazingly written! This was my fav: Reading her not-so-transparent' soul.. He was trying again to re-instate the-real-Gunjan-and-her-real-persona' that she had buried behind a false pretense for a very long time. She wasn't going to let him do that to her. She doesn't want to be that Gunjan' ever again.

OS2 - You were spot on with their characterization. ⭐️ Although, I would have expected Baldeva to be more amusing. 😆 This was funny: "Arey tenu nahi pata, Baldev" She asked innocently. "Tere photo di pappiya shapiya jo leni hai." 😆

OS3 - Classic Baldev: "Oye assi sher hai.. Aur sher nu inni chhoti moti choto se dard nahi honda." 😎 Gundev relationship always make me fawn over them. 🤗 Ranvi ignoring Gunjan was ⭐️. 😆 I love royal ignore treatment. The conphusion that goes in the heroine's face makes me 😆. (I am a sadist. It cannot be helped. 😎😆). Veeba trip-and-catch. My favourittte fantasy! 😆 So glad you used it here! 😳 And the banter that followed! 🤣 About Ranjan, what I really love is how you describe Gunjan's feelings. She's unsure of what he means to her in a definitive term but she feelings something towards him. Brilliant. I liked the ending. Glare waaar of the Sher and Sherni! 😆

You write really well. The narration is the best. You use so much emotions... I love it. 👍🏼

Do send me a PM when you update the next one! Would love to read it! 😃
monumolu thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#60
Amazing super duper update yaar... OMG Baldev's dialogues could not have been better... Kahin tum sachi mein Ballu ka dialogues toh nahi likhti na... Trust me VeeBa dialogues were so much in their character... U have captured their garam masala flavour perfectly!!!!
Kudos to u...

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