I visited the forum y'day while humming "Ba ba bandhook", after a big business lunch and saw that Emperor Chee had turned his Bigamy bandhook on RaGa and killed them. BTW, the song is the signature tune of the villain in a cartoon.
Wrote this for all those RaGa shippers who got hoodwinked by the positive symbolism of the haldi and prematurely celebrated Rag's exit and got their shipper hearts broken ... Continuing from my previous eh.. Fiction.
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ek-tha-raja-ek-thi-rani/4532660/bakra-fiction-dtn-pg-8
I wrote this while having a headache caused by over eating and tho' it may not be a great piece to cheer up(that's my intent), it has lot of morals by the end.
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Emperor Chee summoned Godmother BlueEyes once again.
He was given the ultimatum by the Channeldumb's money bags, the Bigamists. They were furious with Emperor Chee, Mr.So-So and Godmother Blueyes for ending the Fake Scarecrow drama without propagating their values among his Couch-potato subjects. The Lion was still married only to the Fairy.
The Bigamists are a tenacious lot. They watched the creation, Godmother &Mr.So-So, carelessly put together every day. And they were seething. Their philosophy was not promoted. There were butterflies, but no wives .
Their simple philosophy meant for the lusty hearted had the following commandments..
1. A man shall have two wives
2.A woman shall have two men
3.The women will battle for bed
4.The men will meekly send their love rivals to co-habit with their wives.
5. The matriarchs of the family will support the other woman or man.
6. The lovers will cry. And cry, they should, till their eyes resemble the bloodshot eyes of the females in the neighbouring Channeldumbs.
Godmother BlueEyes called her good friends, the Howling Hyena and the Ketchup-Babes, who lived in the Mediocre country. Their land was very far from the land of talent, where Ameerkot was situated.
She diligently found an inappropriate theme song and laced it with deafening music for the Hyena and let it loose on the brandy eyed Fairy, who, as we know was married to the Lion, transforming into a Lamb.
The Couchpotates were confused by the howling and Godmother BlueEyes and Mr.So-So, made the Hyena laugh more and more for days on end. The Couch- potatoes got grumpy by the insistent howling/acting/laughing and immigrated to neighbouring Channeldumbs, where a blind woman and two sisters in a polygonal play made them cry.
The Bigamists who funded Emperor Chee in his war with MoreStars and Rangeela Channeldumbs started losing money, as the Couch-potatoes had withdrawn their eye-balls from Chee's treasury when they migrated.
Godmother BlueEyes ,Mr.So-So and some of the most talented lobbyists from the Bigamy support group met in a war room. They were also joined by a fundamentalist pressure group belonging to Recyclism.
Under extreme pressure, Emperor Chee, invoked the spirit of the devious deity, Rafflesia Cruel Khan. Rafflesia, got deitified after practicing the virtue of Brother-in-law fixation and mastering the art of breaking fangirls' hearts again and again, while making money and being detached about the lack of integrity in her creations and the pain she caused.
Together they created a plan and called it " Wreck the ball". The plan looked perfect for propagating their values about bigamy and recycling amongst resistive subjects. It seemed like the best plan to bring the Couchpotatoes back in droves with their eye-balls.
The plan brought the Rattled Raccoon , pretending to be sick , back to Ameerkot.
The Raccoon befriended KetchupBabe and made her cry
"Ra.. ra.. rape"
and falsely implicated the StoneEyed Stranger, who suddenly appeared in the palace.The Lion/Lamb sentenced him to death.
Raccoon also killed her brother, the Howling Hyena, without her knowledge and shifted the blame on to the Lamb/Lion, for now, the transformation of the Lion to Lamb is close 70%. Fangirls and Couchpotatoes rejoiced at the death of Howling Hyena and slowly started returning to Chee's Channeldumb.
Encouraged by the reverse migration of Couchpotatoes, Godmother BlueEyes et al unleashed KetchupBabes on the Lion/Lamb. Fangirls got disgusted with the transformation/disfiguring of the Lion and the pairing of the lamb and the vamp. They were upset with the emotional atiyachar on the Fairy by the Lamb/lion and the KetchupBabes. Plan, "Wreck the ball" also changed the Lioness into the cheat of the town, as she was involved in baby swapping and hiding the truth.
The vamp, KetchupBabes had hidden vampire tendencies and drank blood wherever she saw it. Disgusted by such cheap dramas, some of the fangrils started eating gaji namul and drinking sake, others flew to birdland and furiously sent messages to GodMother BlueEyes and Mr.So-So thro' a little blue bird.
The worried Fairy, snooped around and found the Truth chocolate, and the truth was that the Lioness had covered the Lion in an invisible coat and underneath, the Lion was actually a hybrid species belonging to the Stone-eyed Stranger's tribe. The Lioness and the Fairy decided to deny the Lion/Lamb/Hybrid species the truth.
As KetchupBabes bathed in milk and drank blood, the Lion/Lamb begged the Fairy for the truth .He knew the truth shall let him free. Since Fairy found the Truth chocolate after lot of nosing around and nocturnal walks in the forest, she decided to swallow it herself.
Some of the Couch- potatoes observed another strange phenomenon in the sky, close to the year of the Monkey.They saw Rafflesia Cruel Khan's spirit, exorcised from the 9.30PMIST palace entering the body of Godmother Blue-eyes and Mr.So-So.
They chanted "Qubool Hai" after total possession .
Soon, the bigamy lobbyists and recyclists clapped at the wedding of KetchupBabes and the erstwhile Lion. All of them told the Fairy to sing," Cry me a river". The Fairy sang a sad song and there ended her fairy tale!
The Couch- potatoes present at the wedding cried
" Nahi hona ta ..nahi hona ta.. hogayi yeh satya nash!".
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Moral of the story, Emperor Chee will be loyal to his corporate commitments, so invest in any of the creations from his Channeldumb only till he pulls the Bigamy bandhook, unless you've acquired a taste for the nasty from consuming Raffelsia's concoctions.
P.S- We are all in it together, let's just have some fun, venting.
Anupamaa
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