Chapter 1
To be updated...
Kalpi parked the car in the garage and rushed towards the house. The doors already open as she walks in she hears the chattering, squealing and laughter that undoubtedly belonged to her girls. They were all in the living room laughing and watching some movie. She did not want to disturb them and so walked quietly unnoticed by the girls and on her way grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen where Kamla was giving instructions to the cook about the dinner.
Arre Kalpi beta? When did you come? See your daughters are having fun, why dont you too join them? Its been so many days. You know nowadays...
Kamla maa, I am going to my room, please see that no one disturbs me tonight, said Kalpi cutting Kamla's talk.
But beta what about your tea and dinner? You will have dinner with us right? You always do. Its your rule.
Not tonight Kamla maa said Kalpi and gave her a pleading look. She gulped the water and nodded her head repeating Not tonight! Please tell the girls I have some important work and not to trouble me. I will talk to you tomorrow.
Kalpi! In all these years I have never seen you so disturbed. You are always calm and composed. What is the matter?
I said I will talk tomorrow, maa please! Kamla left her shoulder and nodded wondering what new storm is awaiting them. Bappa! Please no more, let that pure soul suffer no more. But today something has shaken her up. Hope not related to her past!
Kalpi enters a room and closes the door in a hurry. The room is a small one, maybe the smallest in the bungalow owned by Kalpi. It could have been a study converted to Kalpi's room. All this room had was a bed, a bedside table with lamp and some books on a nearby bookshelf. There was a dressing table with a full length mirror adjacent to a small window. The room was bright but very plain. It had an attached bathroom and a single almirah. One could easily mistake it for a servant quarters if not for a picture frame on the wall. The picture belonged to Prem, her husband which was garlanded.
She takes a heavy breath she seemed to have held for a long time. She walked or half dragged herself to Prem's photograph on the wall. After all these years, he has decided to return now? she thought. Why? What does he want here? did he recognise me? He must have after all how could he forget me easily right Prem?
But I have nothing to give him. Absolutely nothing and it doesnt even hurt me anymore. I have now become numb to pain. She walks to the dressing table nearby and sees her reflection to find her eyes teary. I thought I was done with the tears, but I still have some tears for you Raghav...closing her eyes she let them flow freely over her face.
She took off her clothes she was wearing and stood watching her reflection in the mirror. How can I ever forget these? She ran her fingers over her thighs which had some faded burn marks. Cigarette marks.
Flashback:
A girl of 10 years: Please uncle dont it hurts.
The ugly man: Then what do you think I do it for. You must realise how to listen and be obedient.
Here next time you try to run I will f*cking cut off your legs and feed them to Kaalu and his friends. They havent eaten for a long time.
girl: M sorry please aahhh cries out loud and passes out.
Kalpi opens her eyes in the present and then runs her hand over the scars over her shoulder. Ugly faint pink scars that made her face cringe at the memory. She let the hands slip off and fall to her sides. Her unflattering figure and her scars made her feel ugly and disgusted. She shuddered at the memory and shut her eyes to stop them from resurfacing.
Past few months she has been suffering from insomnia that led to big bags under her eyes. Her skin felt uncared and ignored. Her eyes were dead and there were no life in them. She had turned into a money making machine. Money that gave her power. Yes! She felt powerful when she could do things that she couldnt few years ago.
She entered the bathroom and turned the shower on to wash away all her memories her bad ones and tried to filter a few scarce good memories from her childhood days.
She tried to smile when flashes of her running through the fields came in her mind. Then there was the time when she had two friends, Prem and Raghav.
Now again she had none. Why can't I live like a normal woman?
Mrs Kapoor, you are stressing yourself too much! Your brain can bear only to some extent. All these antidepressants, and the medicines for panic attacks and medicines to sleep they are not good for the long term. You seriously need a vacation. A change of place and relax yourself in real sense. You know what I mean. Literally no work no children, no stress.
If this continues there is a risk of you losing your mental imbalance. From what you have told me you have now started having nightmares leading to lack of sleep.
You need sleep! And you are telling me you are not able to even after eating 2 pills? Ridiculous! I am sorry Mrs Kapoor if you do not listen to me then I am going to admit you here in my hospital.
The last thing you want is to be declare insane, it is certainly not good for your family or your business. Your hormonal imbalance has already made you borderline diabetic.
Try working out or do yoga! You never listen to me! Here let me refer you to this psychiatrist who is also a hypnotist. He is very good in helping people who have had traumatic past. Sometimes help them erase memories too as it helps them move on in life. I think you seriously need to see him. His name is Dr. Samar Singh. He is a very famous and known psychiatrist and is also very reliable as he is my cousin. You can trust him completely. ok?
Turning off the shower Kalpi grabbed the towel and sighed. Now I m going mad also. I hope I dont hurt my girls. I think I should see this dr singh. Lets see what he has for me now.
Edited by priya_remix - 9 years ago
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