ShraMan SS: Painful Revelations [A/N, Pg 29, Nov 1] (EDKV Continued)

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Sunain

@Sunain

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#141

Unressed at pge 18 😉

BTW cake ka kya banna...🤣🤣

Edited by Sunain - 8 years ago

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Roshni2015

@Roshni2015

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#142

Anjali

What a fab update... Loved reading it thoroughly..

Daboo n Shravan were so good.. The memories box... Finally maked an appearance.. SS were superb..

As usual it was a joy reading it..

Love!!

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Alone111

@Alone111

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#143

I lllooovveeeddd dis chapter

Wonderful parr

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astonmwritings

@astonmwritings

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

#144

Originally posted by: PrincessAshVik
I am so so happy you are continuing this as an SS!

As always loved the chapter!!!

I loved Shravan and Daboo scenes! So so sweet! Maasi and Nanu teasing her was so cute! Shravan is a sweetheart man! The way he was explaining Dabboo about love, unsure of what to tell a 10 year old child! And Sumo overhearing their conversation and then teasing both separately! Exactly what Sumo would have done!!

The whole memory box thing was sweet and emotional! The moment Dabboo mentioned Sumo had one, I knew the memory box will come in to the picture! And I loved how subtly you showed it! But what I thought was completely different from what you showed. Still loved it though! Them going through each item together! Him realising and seeing how much she always loved him! I so wish we had had a chance to see all this!

Sexual frustration to hoga hi nah! But you write it so well Anjali.

The whole conversation with RN was how it should have been in the show! Shravan should have been shattered and unable to speak to him properly for some time at least. His trust had been broken by the one person he blindly trusted! Anyway I love how you showed it!!

The last scene in the kitchen was amazing and so ShraMan! Fighting like kids yet the passion and attraction is there! And Shravan being naughty in front of Chachi. I loved this Anjali!

Continue soon please. Thanks for the PM and please ignore the typos my phone is being an idiot!

P.S: I am waiting for Coming Home😳

P.P.S: Another cannon fic? Super excited!!!

THANKS SARAAA! Your comments always make me so happy. I am glad that you liked the chapter!

OMG YAS. Sumo would have had a field day just teasing the two of them.

I am curious as to how you imagined the memory box scene?!

LOL, 10 saal sai tadap rahe hai. Omg.

Yeah, I expected a big fall out with Ramnath but they had to rush it :(

I am going to update soon, hopefully, I just get stumped whenever I open Coming Home, idk why. It's kind of annoying LOL.

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astonmwritings

@astonmwritings

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

#145

Originally posted by: Sunain
Res
****
Unres
Anjaaliii...THT WAS MARVELOUS YAR...u got me spell bound literally...
tonz of love for u yar...u nailed it indeed.
Starting with the story...
Shravan n dabooz scenes were outstanding..i mean the way he taught him n thn gave him a sincere advice..made me
n i concur sumo whn she thought bout her future kids n shravan being the bestest father n spoiling their kids..tht made me grin madly...yar soo cute naa.. 😃
Then the way u potrayed the memory box part..shramans predicament tht time...it was phenomenal..really..
Aur jahan tak sexual frustation ki baat hai tu bahii 11 saal
ka intezar aur tarap hai...intensity bhi extreme par hai..😉

Ramnath n shravanz convo was fab...
Latr the kitchen scene was TREMENDOUS...mein tu pani pani ho gae...bahi shravan got guts han...chachi ki presence mein hi shuro ho gaya...besharm..but i loved his beaharmi...
Tht was damn hot n sexy...
Really loved the chocalate smearing game...n the later romance was lovely..
cant wait for more plz plz plz update soon n han thnka for the pm..love yaa..
Tonz of 🤗 for u...
take care dear. 😃

Thank youuu! I am glad you liked it :) <3

Originally posted by: slumberqueen
Can it get any better?
Pictured each scene as i read them..

married shraman with Daboo --check
Memory box revealed -check
Sexual tension, attraction - check

Very well done! Loved reading..>Will do another round of reading... goes into my THE favourite list...

Thank youuu! <3

Originally posted by: Faith28
It was just perfect👏 Loved the way they were taking things slowly... And now they're almost there at being a married couple in true sense😳
Shravan dabbo convo was excellent!!
Memory box finally got its due👍🏼
Please update the next part at the soonest😊
Thanks for the pm😃

Thank youuu! :) I shall update soon!

Originally posted by: Sadia.Ritu
"Manju Mami's absence was probably the reason for Naanu's recovery"🤣
Awestruck Sumo
Daboo's love interest😆
I love the way Shravan explained everything to Daboo, that was so damn cute😳
Then ShraMan's scenes were - ☺️
Want a more mature update next time(you are the best at this)😉

Thanks for the PM 🤗
Please update soonish! Can't wait to read😊

LMAO, that line was a last minute addition and I died because Shravan would SO say something like that. LOL.

I am glad you liked it! And as for the mature update, I think I am going to write it as a separate piece that will be an add on!

Thank youuu <3

Originally posted by: seabeauty
Wonderful update as always!!

Thank youuu!

Originally posted by: arshi21
How did you stop there?
Sigh :'(

But, amazing writing! LOVED the update :D

Please update this one soon with an even hotter update. I hope you'd continue from where you left in this one :P

Thank youuu! And I haven't decided about the next update yet, but I do think I want to write it as a separate piece from the story but I'll see what flows :)

Originally posted by: ammuse
Great update.. eagerly waiting

Thank youuu!

Originally posted by: MysticRiver
Awesome..

Thank youuu!

Originally posted by: arshuaar
no words...
so beautifully penned...
ShraMan...
thanx for PM...😊

Thank youuu!

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astonmwritings

@astonmwritings

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

#146

Originally posted by: .SardiKiDhoop.
LOVED this so much! <33 Long updates are great! :D Honestly I feel like when you write and it's not an effort to try and reach a certain length and the words come naturally, the piece just flows out so much better, and that definitely shows in your works!

Ahh, Shravan teaching Daboo how to solve the Rubix cube was a MUST, I'm so happy you wrote it in here, it was really sweet! I especially enjoyed Sumo getting lost in the sight of him (who wouldn't?) and her thoughts on their relationship/future. You also brought in Shravan going through the "memory box" and I'm so glad you did - you put in so much detail and thought into describing all the little things inside - I could literally picture the scene out in my head. Shravs giving Daboo love advice was also quite cute - I love the way he spoke to him, he didn't patronize his feelings, but talked to him in a sort of "man-to-man" way which was very sweet.

I also love the way you've built up the sexual tension between them - it hasn't escalated too fast, it's built up its pace perfectly and I love the whole mixture of playfulness + "hawt damn" in the way you write them because it stays SO true to them and their relationship.

I'm also quite tickled because of how we discussed "operating on the same wavelength" and I realized now more than ever that SOMETHING's up with our timings/ideas/perspectives. Going back I realized that literally the same week we post updates, they tend to include similar things, ie. Shravs waking up with Sumo in his arms, the memory box, the build-up in terms of the physical aspects in their relationship...and last night I had an idea revolving around a cake fight in the kitchen... :')))

Thanks Serah! Your comments make me do this --> 😃.

That's so true, when you start writing the verbal diarrhea just follows in most cases hahahaha.

I was so sad that Shravan never got to teach Dabboo, I was looking forward to it. And I always wanted Sumo to just stare at Shravan and be lost GAH. Dabboo and Shravan scenes would have been so cute!

LOL, 10 years+ worth of sexual tension hahahahaha. ShraMan are giving me so many feels rn.

Omg, I feel like we deffo work on the same brain wave. Omg, yas, cake fighttt! :)

Originally posted by: dhanyata
Their conversation around the memory box in Sumo's room is sooo admirable.😃Shravan pulled Sumo into his lap and they are reading the letters together. How can i even explain my feels about this cutie scene🤗. We always wanted both shravan and sumo to know glimpses of each others life in 10 years. Daboo is helping with Sumo's side. That's so sweet.
Shravan finding peace in Sumo's lap. Cutie No:2

Ramnath Shravan confrontation : I felt the pain myself, when he said, he was so close to lose Sumo forever. Yes thats what would have happened. She would be in a different city by now and can't even imagine that🤢

And the Kitchen scene😳 can simply say this😳.

You make us feel so many emotions whenever we read any of works.Like something happening inside of us. Beyond description.

And yes, we are eagerly waiting for your next update on Coming Home !! (To be honest, I slightly felt sad when i read about the talks of completing Coming Home. That IS a master piece and giving us more peace of mind, because Shravu and Sumo are happiest friends there and their family is full on positivity). Anyways, for now, waiting for another update happily😊

Another fan fic from you 👏 Jolllyyy

Thank you so much for your wonderful comment! Awww, you're so sweet!

Coming Home is giving me trouble right now, I sit down to write and idk what to write, so we'll see. Hopefully I can update it soon :)

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astonmwritings

@astonmwritings

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

#147

Originally posted by: Jerry2308
Awesome ...manju mami's absence is the reason of nanu's recovery🤣
Shravan daboo scene is just sooo cute
Nd finally the memory box...shravan now know how much sumo have waited for him
Thanks for pm...waiting for next update

LOL, I love that line too hahahhaha.

Thank you & you're welcome! :)

Originally posted by: Safire
Excellent writing👏 finally sumo herself shows the memory box to shravan!! Romance in kitchen is so cute!in this pace i hope the next update maybe a+18'

Thank youuu! LOL, we'll see about that.

Originally posted by: shri97
amazing update.. wow it was too good.. shravan Dabbu scenes were so cute.. m falling for shravan all over again.. dat scene where shravan is explaining about love and feeling jealous made me admire u even more.. that's d basic thing in love which ppl forget n u explain it so well.. ShraMan scenes were hot waiting fr nxt update..

Thank youuu! You're so sweet :)

Originally posted by: krutish22
Daboo and Shraman conversion and sumo imagination about their own kid
Memory box relevation
Kitchen screen
All r beautifully written
Super duper hit
Can't wait next update
Update soon

Thank youuu!

Originally posted by: Anapneo3003
Fantastic part!!
Shravan-Daboo parts wer damn cute!!
So shravan is goin to talk to his mother finally!!
And d Shraman parts wer too good☺️
Waiting for the nxt part😳

Thank youuu! :)

Originally posted by: aachal20
Superb update.love it.amazing

Thank youuu!

Originally posted by: netflix
you definitely covered everything we were waiting to see on the show...are you interested to be the writer for EDKV2??!!!

Haha, I wish Indian TV worked like that and we could get more EDKV :(

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astonmwritings

@astonmwritings

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

#148

Originally posted by: Vinayarao
I enjoyed this part...!!!
Cute Daboo & his Shravan jiju, his teachings about rubik cube... Sumo thinking herself how Shravan will take care of their children... The way she was staring him... Nanu & Maasi face smile grew when they realized Sumo was lost on Shravan...!!! 🤪

Papa & son's conversation...

Their first kiss & romance in the kitchen... OMG they turned kitchen in to bedroom... That is also infront of chachi... If chachi would have seen... She would have told puttarji romance woh bhi kitchen mein... Kuch bhi aanvyi...🤣
🤣

Thank for update

Waiting for next part...

Thank youuu!

LOL, Kamini would have teased them so badly and spread the news all over hahahaha.

Originally posted by: divya_j
Foremost...am so happy this has become an SS, coz the plot always had that potential, and each chapter just kept getting better, emotional sumo, rattled shravan...guilty ramnath...even kamini chachi..are all so well etched characters...going thru their own turmoils...and your writing just does all justice to the ending that never happened...
I have always felt that writing helps to understand characters, their different facets and dimensions better...apart from a whole possible places that you can take a story to...superbbb...am so looking forward to the next update!!!👍🏼⭐️

Now, I know this is gutter-mind working...but is this going where I think this is going...☺️😉...u have aced love scenes in all your other ShraMan works so..theres no doubt on what can go into this...!!!...am sooo impatient for the next one...

loved the icing scene, dont even want to begin describing...the imagination it invokes when I think of even something remotely similar being scripted on Nimik...

please keep it going...this SS is awesome..

thanks for the pm😊

Aw, thank you! I am so glad you like it!

Yeah, writing is definitely a window into the characters' dispositions!

Hahahahahaha, omg, I love how everyone is expecting me to write a sex scene, we'll see about that.

And thank you again <3

Originally posted by: an_chau
Anjali... may you always, Always, ALWAYS write such super long, and achingly endearing pieces! Each update brings something new and infinitely more special... That Dabboo-Shravan chat was superbly penned! Who would ever ask Shravan for love advice - but Dabboo!!! 😆
I love the way the ShraMan relationship is progressing... them taking the time to cherish every aspect of their newfound intimacy was lovely!

Lmao, thanks for the blessing hahahahaha. Aw, I am glad you liked it. And exactly! Daboo would be the only one to ask Shravan for love advice but in his eyes Shravan is like Superman, which I always found really cute!

Originally posted by: BhataktiAtma.
You fulfilled one more wish of mine Shravan finding Memory Box otherwise in show it remained just that how I wish they would shown it would have loved to watch Shravan's reaction to it would have been so good and Namik would have done such a good job sigh never mind wishful thinking but coming to the update loved it last bit was hot

Awww, thank you! :)

Originally posted by: pinky.padda
amazing update
absolutely brilliant
continue soon
superb

Thanks! :)

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astonmwritings

@astonmwritings

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

#149

Originally posted by: thefangirllife

OH EM GEEE.

The part with Sumo being lost watching Shravan interact with Dabboo & imagining their own children was so cute. I wanted to see that so bad, Sumo just being lost in Shravan and everyone picking up on it.

LOL "Manju Mami's absence was probably the reason for Naanu's recovery". I CAN IMAGINE SHRAVAN BEING THAT SASSY.

Dabboo and Shravan having a talk, man-to-man, SO EFFIN CUTE. Sumo would so tease them about it too.

AHHH THE MEMORY BOX THE MEMORY BOX. I am so glad that she gives it to him and looks through it with him, and all the little details YOU ARE KILLING ME ANJ

That sexual tension though, I like that they don't jump head first into sex but I love that they don't shy away either!

AWW SUMO PLAYING WITH HIS HAIR BECAUSE HIS HEAD IS IN HER LAP MY FEELS

I like that Shravan gives Ramnath attitude!

THE KITCHEN SCENE WHY IS IT SO CUTE AND HOT AT THE SAME TIME

I CAN IMAGINE SHRAVAN KA CHEHRA BEING ALL SMIRKY AS HE MESSES WITH SUMO WHILE CHACHI IS IN THE KITCHEN AHHH

THE TENSION OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

LOL, Aarti is back with her cuteness. Thanks babe!

I miss sassy Shravan ughhh.

I am sorry that I am killing you?

You get me so hyped hahahahaha.

Originally posted by: mariajamal
too much intense

Thanks!

Originally posted by: _Eternity_
Anjali 🤗
Pta hi nhi lga kab end ho gya... 😆
Awesome update dear... 👏

Daboo and shra with Rubik cube and sumo lost in shra...
Daboo and his love interest..aww so cute and funny.
Finally memory box unlocked and ShraMan scene so good... ❤️

Cake preparation aww maza aa gya..naughty and romantic ShraMan..
Kamini ka bhi dar nhi... 😆

Just love it... ❤️
Thnx for pm dear 🤗

Thank you so much!

Originally posted by: -Shilpaa-
Loved it,as always ❤️
ShraMan parts were sweet and hot at the sane time.
Thanks for doing justice to the memory box, for which we kept waiting but got nothing.
And Shravan teaching Dabboo how to solve a rubix cube was something i really hoped to see. Loved that part so very much😳

Thank you so much! :) I am glad you liked the memory box scene, I know a lot of people imagined their own scene!

Originally posted by: Sunain
Unressed at pge 18 😉
BTW cake ka kya banna...🤣🤣

LMAO. It takes a cake 20-25 minutes to bake, don't worry, nahi jala.

Originally posted by: Roshni2015
Anjali
What a fab update... Loved reading it thoroughly..
Daboo n Shravan were so good.. The memories box... Finally maked an appearance.. SS were superb..
As usual it was a joy reading it..
Love!!

Thank youuu!

Originally posted by: Alone111
I lllooovveeeddd dis chapter
Wonderful parr

Thank you!

Originally posted by: nuttynuts
Loved the update!!

Thank you!

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dhanyata

@dhanyata

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

#150

Hey, Happy to know you are planning to write lovable updates on shraman to continue this SS. And also, on Coming Home.

I really loveee Coming Home, the more, for its positivity. There are no negative vibes in the story so far, and all going so sweet. Perfect to keep our mind all happy happy.☺️

But still, if possible, what about introducing a new character, may be a vamp lady😆 who would be behind shravan to get him all for herself. Unlike urvashi, a bit dangerous too.(*very bad me nah !!)

We can get to see jealous side of sumo more😉. But not to take too much that she wont trust shravan but she would be with shravan (still jealous) and they can solve this problem together while getting more intense in their relationship. (I know, am melodramatic)

I don't think, I should disturb your story line with such ideas. Just a thought to share. But I like your story the way it already is, so can happily wait for what is in the store

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ShraMan SS: Painful Revelations [A/N, Pg 29, Nov 1] (EDKV Continued) - Page 15

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