Why mix money and relationships?

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Sheesh

@glassdoor

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+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#61

Originally posted by: penganga

😆😆
taking money from Shravan who still remembers .." maine tumhare cycle ka puncture thik kiya tha "... (~ abt 2 Rs...) after 10 years...🤪. will be like : kulhadi pe pair marana...
Suman is just being cautious...
🤣

Hehe. Rs 2 ka interest?

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Sheesh

@glassdoor

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+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#62

@Hajnal

Forgot to add this earlier...

Why do I use the word 'accept'? It is not my word for what has happened. It is the word that plays in Suman's mind. Remember that she is an orphan.

She considers herself a burden for everybody. Including her family and Shravan.

Shravan is marrying her but he does not appear to want to. When Shravan does not actually want to marry but is majboor to do so for the sake of his family, if he spends money on his wedding, it means that spending happened on account of Suman. That is her thinking! So when he spends on his own wedding it is because of her. It is unwanted for him but he has to.

I won't debate if this thinking is true or false or even appropriate. But this is what Suman feels. That she does not want to make him spend any money. She feels it is her wedding and her 'burden'ship is just transferred from one place to another. So she does not want anybody else to spend money in this process.

When Shravan says nobody wants her, it means he does not want her either, right?

So she does not want to make a person who does not want her to spend something due to her!

Although she is optimistic about the wedding and is determined to make it work, she knows the marriage itself holds no value to Shravan or his family. She feels she is being a burden of expenses here. That is the reason I use the word 'accept'. If he spends on the wedding, in her mind it means she is 'accepting' it.

Suman does not think like us. That it is Shravan's wedding too and he has every right to spend money on it. According to her he considers her a burden. All that is at play here are her abandonment issues. Her deep seeded issues have raised their ugly head. Make sense to you? That is why I say she is a slave to her circumstances. For her the only way to be free is to not make others spend on account of her. She wants to have as low as a footprint on others as possible.

If Shravan makes her feel he is actually happy to spend on her she will be comfortable with the whole process.

Hence the word 'accept' to denote Suman's state of mind.

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Sheesh

@glassdoor

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Posted: 9 years ago

#63

Originally posted by: vibg

@glasdor.. nicely put!

Male or female.. dont matter.. noone can behave and talk the way Shravan does 2 Suman.. supposedly BFF and love of his life.. both have had their share of worse in life. Every time that cant be his excuse!

And now he married her in worst way possible to teach her some lessons... lessons for what? Being independent minded? Being self reliant? not taking charity from his evil father who has threatened her to stay away from shravan? for not coming to meet him for coffee date? For not taking money from groom's family for a lavish wedding that middle class families cant afford? For saying yes to an arranged marraige, under immense family pressure, with a man who is son of a woman she admires, who appeared to be decent? And she agreed cause her true love (only person she trusts), her BFF was verbally abusing her, insulting her 24/7? destroying her life's work.. PCT? what should she be punished?

There is always an excuse for shravan's behavior! Sumo has her own baggage and bigger set of issues being an orphan girl in Indian society! If she does self respect jaap to stand for herself, protect herself., so be it.. its not a crime.

Thanks! Yes agree with you most part.
I don't think he is trying to teach her a lesson though. Please see my post above for more info.

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Sheesh

@glassdoor

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Posted: 9 years ago

#64

So dear friends, thanks for all the lovely insight and comments. 😛
I know I might have argued back and forth with some of you (yes you, Hajnal, thanks for bearing with me for so long 😆 . I understand if you are fed up with me! 😃 ).

Hope I have managed to reply to everyone.

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A.Hajnal

@A.Hajnal

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#65

(I know, I know...But last post, promise!)

They both had made each other rejected. Not just him, he may have said it out loud, yelled it in rage and then said it as a fact, but she had made him feel rejected by pushing him away. Her refusal to talk with him, to be Sumo, by pushing him away, refusing his help and then the last and final push that made him feel rejected was her accepting Aditya's help. All of that made him feel rejected. That is why that act of hers broke him, devastated him. For him that was her rejecting him. So, we can't say that he was the only one who has rejected her, she had done the same by pushing him away.

That is why I fear that he won't take any step till he doesn't understand that all of what she has said and done in those weeks wasn't an act of rejection. He has to feel, know and understand that, and only then he will understand and rectify the Kaands he had done.

I wish that I cold hope that he would be the first one take the first step and say that to her, but he won't be Shravan Malhotra if he forgets & forgives the rejection he had felt in those weeks. His self-prevision and fear of abandonment won't let him take that step till he is sure that he won't get hurt and rejected again.

P.s...I am not fed up or anything like that. (But so glad for that our posts are not long anymore 😆) And I am glad that we did 'argued back and forth', sometimes one needs that to understand things. So, thank you, esp for clearing the 'accept' thing for me. 😳

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