Let's stop saying Aditya had any 'right' - Page 3

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ChalJhoothi thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#21
awesome post
Completely agree with you
Shahneem thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#22

Originally posted by: A.Hajnal


@Bold:- Word...I am amazed by the people, esp women who still think that this is how things are supposed to be. I am horrified by the possibility that they excercise their mindset in real life too. A 'man' has to have that much power over a woman's life since the day she is born and in exchange, she should not expect a thing. What kind of society we are going to have if with this mindset these women are going to educate and rise the children of next generation, boys and girls...🤢

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Knowing that makes me so happy, so content and so much pride I feel as a girl...May God bless you both and kisi ki nazar na lagee...*Respect for both of you* 🤗

I agree with each and every word of yours and couldn't said it better...So, I am going to only say 'word'...😳



I'm glad my story resonated with you. My sister-in-law introduced me to my husband: we spoke with an intent to marriage, didn't date or any of that. We were engaged for a few months during which we bonded over international calls: no social media in those days.

My experience tells me that marriage is all about friendship: and if you can find someone you can be friends with, the affection and respect comes naturally. Both of us frankly agreed to put our past relationships behind us, and trust each other in future.

Suman and Shravan had way much baggage, but if not for their complicated family histories their relationship would have been a lot less conflicted.

I do argue with my husband, and he with me, but I'm content that we're equals: we give in to each other based on capability, not gender. He respects my decisions on interior decor, and I listen to him when we travel together: simply because we trust the other person to know what they're doing in that aspect.

Patriarchy basically means half the human populace should be slaves to the other half: and that halts progress. We must evolve out of the mindset that is fed to us: it took me a while to feel comfortable with my husband serving food at the table, I kept wondering what our mothers would think of it. I now know that I'm a good cook but I suck at serving, so him taking over is just normal. I work on home renovations and techie maintenance, because I'm better at him than he is.

Marriage is a partnership, where each partner contributes his or her own skills and leverages the other's capabilities. I wish all women and men understood that, and it reflected in fiction, instead of the cave-man/ helpless woman stories that rule the hit charts.



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Edited by Shahneem - 9 years ago
KreyaArshiLover thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#23
Thank you... Thank you.. Thank you so so damn much👏👏👏
Everything you said is Bang on and i loved and finally someone who doesnt see her own gender as a object. I totally agree with each and every word you have uttered. It's is like meri moo ki baat cheenli
poojasidd123 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#24
First of all, thanks a lot for bringing up this awesome post! 👏So many things running on my mind after seeing the episodes but still couldn't get to say it here. I am astonished and taken aback too after seeing some girls here defending aditya on his behaviour and blaming shraman for it. I am a girl who was on my future partner search until some 7 months ago. I had chatted with a few through social networking sites whom my parents have seen on a matrimonial site. I had given up on one such guy just because he asked me whether I am a virgin and if I had relationships before and that he wished to marry a virgin. He didn't even believe me when I told him I am a virgin and never have dated in all actuality with all its implications. He was shocked! And he himself have had his fair share of fun. That was the first and last time I talked with him. I have no hopes for such people who harbour such stone-aged thought processes. I have been always decisive never to marry a person who thinks of a girl in such a way. Now I am on the process of dating a nice German guy who absolutely doesn't care if I had past relationships or not. He is only concerned about if I am truly happy in our relationship. And we have started off our bond with friendship itself because that was what I wanted before embarking on a full-fledged relationship. He respected that wish of mine. It should be remembered that a girl's body is her own. If she wishes to save it until marriage, that's a truly good sign of perseverance and patience and free-will. If she decides to give her virginity to someone whom she likes before marriage, that's again free-will and absolutely okay, provided she is aware of the consequences and sure of herself.

It's only because of people with such narrow minded conceptualizations of a girl that our society is still inflicted with cases of women abuse and violations of her dignity. Unless women themselves change their thoughts about the new aged Indian girl, the society will never change, because they are the ones from whom our future men will learn to respect a girl. There are still a big section of Indian men who respect girls and their strengths and power. These men never want their partners to be sacrificial lambs who would save their virginity for their future husbands and care only about their needs and wishes. Not every man is like the one I have mentioned before. And regarding Aditya, well I have to say that these types of men are rare nowadays in our society and those who are really like him, doesn't deserve an iota of respect and redemption. Such men hardly ever redeems and spends the rest of their lives in suspicion of their life partners. No girl who has even a bit of self-respect should choose such people as their soulmates. The basic foundation of any true relationship - whether friendship or a relationship between lovers or anything is Trust. Sometimes it establishes itself before the relationships takes its course and sometimes it's formed in due time. But without its formation in any period of a relationship, other aspects never last long. A marriage starts off on trust. Trust that your partner is happy and that he/she is doing the right thing for you. If somehow that is not felt, then direct communication is the only key. No assumptions or imagining baseless things on your own. Aditya lacked trust. He should have asked sumo directly about shravan and assumed that she loved him in spite of all the evidences blinking right at him. He didn't respect the notion of consent at all. Consent goes along with trust. Without them, any relationship is futile and only for namesake. No man at this age and time would get married to a girl knowing that she loves another and isn't happy at all for her wedding. He will straightaway cancel the wedding. aditya lacked all the true essences of a respected man.
Edited by poojasidd123 - 9 years ago

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