SS-'Your Song of Silence'

Cat. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#1
So this is something I wrote in the last half an hour, I haven't' really given it much thought to how I am going to take it.And probably will undergo some editing later on, because I write and edit and proofread much later. Bear with me, its been a while since I wrote fiction.

Raghu tossed and turned, try as he might, he just could not sleep. All he saw is her face, her ever so perfect face. Its been two days since she said a word to him, not a whisper,no acknowledgement, nothing, it was like for her, he did not exist at all. So yes he did say a few things to her, but his blood was boiling, how could she turn Ajji and Machmach against him?
Bad enough she was stealing his sleep, now she's stealing his Ajji and his bro MachMach too.

So he was, he acknowledged a wee bit harsh on her, " way more than wee" his conscience reminded him. He remembered how her beautiful eyes pooled up with tears, of how her face fell as he told her" You behave good with people for money""You make use of the goodness of people"
She had walked away with nary a word or a glance at him and hadn't spoken to him since then and it killed him. If only she had screamed or yelled at him but this silence was killing him slowly, killing him softly, taking his night away. All he could remember were, her beautiful eyes, filled with an indescribable sadness.
He had to see her, even if it was just one glimpse,he had to.

The loud knocks on the door rattled Antara's thoughts. "You behave good with people for money""You make use of the goodness of people", he had said. Her heart bled a little. The past two days had gone by so slowly, every time she stepped into the Naik house, she felt like she was running out of air to breathe. She knew he was there, looming around , trying to catch her eyes. She had avoided him and his his slow piercing glances, she was conscious of he kept looking at her.

Antara "Open the door" or I'll break it down" he shouted, "Do you want me to wake your maama, maami? She was hesitant to open the door but knew better. Any more delay and he would be inside.
The door opened and Raghu saw her standing there, like a deer caught in a trap,Her beautiful brown eyes flickered with a hint of pain and uncertainty.
"How long does it take you to open the damn door" he shouted. Antara took a step back at his tone, His tone softened immediately."Antara" he said with a deep timbre to his voice."I am sorry"
TBC...
Edited by Catatonic_Cat - 12 years ago

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SWEEBILLI thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#2
@She was hesistant to open the dooor but knew better. Any more delay and he would be inside.

You caught Radhu's pulse in these lines

beautiful post...tis scene might happen in Jaan
suji01 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#3
If this is what you managed to pen down in half an hour, then I can just imagine what you could do if you had more time in hand

Awesome work...Me loved it...Continue soon😊
Cat. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#4
beautiful post...tis scene might happen in Jaan

There are lots of scenes I want to happen in Jaan😆
Cat. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: suj01

If this is what you managed to pen down in half an hour, then I can just imagine what you could do if you had more time in hand

Awesome work...Me loved it...Continue soon😊

Haha no, thanks for the compliment but I am an instinctive writer, so I have to write as I am thinking for the flow, so time does not really make a difference😊
suji01 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: Catatonic_Cat

Haha no, thanks for the compliment but I am an instinctive writer, so I have to write as I am thinking for the flow, so time does not really make a difference😊



Keep writing more stuff😊

Whatever you think you wanna see in Jaan, pen them down here😉

We shall read them and just imagine the scene between the leads😆
-.serendipity.- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#7
awesome beginning
can't wait to read more!!!😊
.Kiran. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#8
That was brilliant. You write so well. Continue soon:)
SyedAinah thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#9
It was really beautiful
update soon
and pm me ,if possible
sonu-monu thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#10
Wowww dear i loved you written style its freaking Good me loving it totally,Continue soon!

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