I do not understand Sandhya's point of view.

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curious1

@curious1

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

Sandhya wants to live with Sooraj but does not want to him him all the rights that a husband has.
I do not understand her point of view at all. What is her problem? When she likes and respect Sooraj for everything that he has done for her why can't she love her. She seems very matured for her age but why she wants to deprive Sooraj of getting true love.
May be then she should insist of leaving him so that he can find another person who loves him.

I am actually with Bhabo on this one. How can a mother tolerate a DIL who does not want to have relationship with his son.

Why did she reveal this truth anyway. Was there no other way to prove that she is not on the pills.
Just to save Sooraj from the humiliation of questions about the pills she brought a much bigger humiliation on him.

Anyway, I completely fail to understand this show and will stop watching it when it starts to make sense again.

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alvi

@Niceup

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

Yeah the track which is going now is bit confused... Sandhya seems a confused character ---- his brother came to take her , she shd went wid him... Why she is still staying inthis house as she didn't accept Suraj & why is tolerating bhabo's slapping ????????

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: curious1
Sandhya wants to live with Sooraj but does not want to him him all the rights that a husband has.
I do not understand her point of view at all. What is her problem? When she likes and respect Sooraj for everything that he has done for her why can't she love her. She seems very matured for her age but why she wants to deprive Sooraj of getting true love.
May be then she should insist of leaving him so that he can find another person who loves him.

I am actually with Bhabo on this one. How can a mother tolerate a DIL who does not want to have relationship with his son.

Why did she reveal this truth anyway. Was there no other way to prove that she is not on the pills.
Just to save Sooraj from the humiliation of questions about the pills she brought a much bigger humiliation on him.

Anyway, I completely fail to understand this show and will stop watching it when it starts to make sense again.

I think this is the basis. Not break up. But a gradual realisation. That may happen after one year or six months in the usual tv style. Until it will be the same thing. Usually women are in these situations in TV serials. And this time Suraj is here waiting for the transformation.
Usually men have egoes and they dont take this kind of things as easily as Suraj. But this is fiction. Meanwhile I was flipping the channels and entertained myself by watching SBS on Sony.

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Bhabho maybe crude and unjust sometimes. But there is some basic honesty and calling a spade a spade type of mentality. She has got that mardangi or aggressiveness which those males are lacking. She is more IPS material.

Edited by rightnow - 13 years ago

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navyaalex8

@navyaalex8

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: rightnow
Bhabho maybe crude and unjust sometimes. But there is some basic honesty and calling a spade a spade type of mentality. She has got that mardangi or aggressiveness which those males are lacking. She is more IPS material.

NIce one, rightnow! IPS Bhabho seems quite scarily apt! Maybe they can make a spin off show called IPS Bhabho sometime soon 😆...

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JaZzs

@JaZzs

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

yep i too dont understand what sandhya is up to 😕 ...
she will not & never love sooraj but she will stay with him for all her life 🤪
she wants to be IPS officer but has not taken any step towards her goal after marriage 🤪

sooraj has already said if she prefers he will call her brother & she can go with him but yesterday sandhya said she will obey sooraj's decision of whether to stay with him or not ... so what is she expecting ,sooraj to behave like bhabho and kick her out 🤡 🤪 ...and so far sandhya seemed to have buried her ambition of IPS & started concentrating on family , even preeti wanted to rekindle it but in vain ...now suddenly sandhya is saying she still wants to achieve it (is it coz of seeing kirthi 😆) but what is she doing to achieve it ...she has no idea of divorce ,no idea of disrespecting bhabho , no idea of telling it to sooraj , no idea of leaving with brother when he offered her that very opportunity ... then what is she gonna do to become an IPS officer 😆

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earth1978

@earth1978

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Posted: 13 years ago

i hate everyone trying to put sandhya down.

yes she does love suraj , respect is much more important in a marriage than love ... as all those who are married may realise. thats why the thought of separation pains her, thats why she chickened out when her bro asked her to leave with him. SHE DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE SURAJ BECUASE SHE CANNOT IMAGINE A LIFE WITHOUT HIM. but she is not yet ready to have a physical relationship with him. to me it makes perfect sense. she doubts if she wud ever be good enough for bhabho ... for bhabhio to leave her alone at peace so that she can have a proper relationship with suraj. as all of us who are married may identify ,

love and respect are not the only things required for having sex with some one.another very big thing is ... MOOD.

with that tyrant bhabho hovering over her and keeping her under microscope all the time how can sandhya ever get intimate with her hub? i know from my own experience ... with a mother in law like that , sex is the last thing on the couple's mind! taane hi yaad aate rehate hain har waqt. there is no desire left to initiate a relationship like that. even if it ds happen it feels like a chore and gives a dirty feeling. so yes i can read sandhya's mind. with bhabho trying her level best to prove sandhya is pairon ki jooti and she can be thorwn out anytime ... is anyone thick enough to understand what poor sandhya feels about intimate relationship? pyaar kahan se karegi tere chhore se, tune koi kasar chhodi hai uske dil ko kuchalne me?

darn bhabho is responsible for this distance. she is responsible and is actually actively trying to ruin the budding love between her son and DIL. her stupid selfish insecurities ... she just wants a sexual relationship between her son and DIL but not any deep bond. and that deep bond is what is irking her so much that she is stooping o all these levels. and here she is being proven right!!!

and for everybody ... questioning poor sandhya ...

she has done more for suraj than vice versa , she is living a life of ridicule for something actually worth appreciating just for his sake. so what if he supports her ? / its his moral responsibility to do so. just because suraj looks hot we tend to notice his acts more than sandhya's. or perhaps in our indian culture a husband supporting his wife is such a rarity that we are all having a pleasent shock to see such a character.

as for her not having sex with suraj yet ... well give her a break ... she lost hr parents in a bomb blast ... how many of us can claim to get over it in a matter of few months and have normal lives with our spouses?!

that too a spouse she was duped into getting with a family to die for lol !!!!

i am really amazed at thinking of some , is sex the onyl expression of true love? then perhaps red light areas are repleat with the emotion. all those who think like that actually fall into bhabho's category ... she has absolutely no respect for her daughter in law's sexuality or emotions. to her she is just a child bearing machine which she had made clear right after marriage while giving milk to sandhya. anyone who watched that episode aND still loves bhabho is well ... deserving of getting a bhabho character in their life , just to know how it feels. sorry if i sounded harsh but well sandhya is beyond any criticism, if people treat her like a human being and are ready to step into her shoes for a minute., they wud understand which i feel none is ready to do since they are all much concerned with suraj getting his husbandly rights. i dont post even though i visit india forums to read WU regularly but sandhya bashing made me sign up and post for the first time.

Edited by vasu.avantika - 13 years ago

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bud2012

@bud2012

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Posted: 13 years ago

@ vasu.avantika

I support and agree with ur post.Yes people hav to read Sandhyas mind instead of simply bashing her.

.As suraj is very hot and its a very rare issue a supporting husband we were always praising him. on a scale of 10 i would like to give her 10 points.Sandhya did more than what Suraj made for her.If she dont support him he could not hav solved any unbalansable issues that hav happened so far. And its his Moral Responsibility to support her.

how could Sandhya feel his love did her MIL ever given her Freedom or treated her like a daughter or even a human, this rants are making her more be conscious of her dream and realation with Suraj.

Now she dont know dat she is in Love with him but she has to consider his Parvarish and .its time Sandhya has to do something to let him hav a happy hav life with his Dream wife if the heir/predecessor isssue comes.

she is Fun loving gal got married in a age of 19,which is a strong term in thys life to decide and proceed for a dream nd to pusue her Dream. she has never expected this realation in the near future, has been happened to her so early and not willing to hav physical realation till she sees her ManjiL IPS. Is she Wrong ?

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earth1978

@earth1978

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Posted: 13 years ago

frankly i dont think so she is wrong.

her dream tugs the strings of her heart and she wants to chase it sub conciously.

counciously how ever she is well aware that with a tyrant liek bhabho she has thin chances of getting her dream.

fir bhi dil to dil hai ... she has a hidden desire. i dont think she shud be criticised just becuase of having a dream.

she tried her level best to perform the roles of a DIL and wife.

but what did she get in return?

more tamasha and more plots to disgrsace her.

maybe if the atmoshere was right she wud have given suraj his rights by now.

but there is absolutely no joy or mental peace in her life.

all she has is mistrust and humiliation. she dsnt know what scheme is waiting for her in the next corner.

she has zero appreciation for all her efforts , she has lost all incentive to carry the relationship forward ... not becuase she ds not want to but becuase bhabho is ready to suck out every joy , every pleasure , every thread of confidence from her. bhabho wants her to become a senseless sex toy for suraj!

thats why now her dream tugs more at her heart because she is a failed wife by now despite all her honest efforts.

and really ds anyone need to break her marriage to get a career? or having sex is the only way to prove one intends to keep the marriage togetrher? or to take the marriage forward one needs to completely forget about her aspirations. reaaly which planet are we living in!

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Fatima

@Fatima_Q

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: vasu.avantika
i hate everyone trying to put sandhya down.
yes she does love suraj , respect is much more important in a marriage than love ... as all those who are married may realise. thats why the thought of separation pains her, thats why she chickened out when her bro asked her to leave with him. SHE DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE SURAJ BECUASE SHE CANNOT IMAGINE A LIFE WITHOUT HIM.

No one is putting Sandhya down for not being intimate with Suraj. Most everyone and especially Suraj understands that she's been through a lot and needs time. And she should count her blessings that she has a husband who is willing to give her all the time she needs.

You are wrong when you say Sandhya loves Suraj and is not leaving because she cannot imagine a life without him. No offense, but look at the facts...She does not love Suraj...she made that painstakingly clear to him when she told him that she doesn't know if she can ever accept him...that he can turn her out of the house if he likes because he deserves someone who will be able to give him his rights. So she was willing to leave.

Even her friend Preeti pointed out to her that she doesn't love Suraj...and Sandhya could only admit that she respects Suraj and that's all. So why is she staying with him? I quite frankly don't know. But it's definitely not love...Maybe she has no where else to go.

As far as Bhabo is concerened...she's loud, crass, and totally gawar, but her concern as a mother is not misplaced. She's actually not lashing out at Sandhya for not being intimate with Suraj, nor is she peeking into their bedroom every night. Rather, she did that whole papad tamasha to prove another point on her list of why Sandhya is not a good enough wife for her son. Was she right to do so...No of course not, but that was her intention.

What bothers me about Sandhya is that even if given all the time in the world...she gives the impression that she may never accept Suraj. She seems blind to everything he has done for her.

I almost wished Sandhya had hugged Suraj when he told her that he doesn't expect anything from her, that her smile after she accidently wets him while putting the clothes on the line is enough to satisfy him...but this girl..she feels uncomfortable even if their shadows touch 😕.

Whether she admits it or not, she is prejudiced against Suraj for his lack of education. Sure he's a nice guy, but for her he will always be a reminder of her shattered dreams. Dreams her parents had for her . Dreams she should have discussed with Suraj, but she just assumes he's too much of a simpleton to understand.

Yes sex is not the only expression of love. No one is contesting that. But Sandhya doesn't give any expression at all. She loves to be the poster girl of public awareness, truth and justice, but isn't even willing to give her poor husband a fair chance at winning her heart.

It's really Suraj who got cheated in this whole deal...not Sandhya.🥺

Btw, don't hate me for expressing my POV, I'm entitled to it...just as you are yours. 😆

Edited by ummesulaiman - 13 years ago