Day to Day OS

Day to Day OS

I couldn't feel the water dripping down my face,

Couldn't feel it running down my body.

My body was still, my mind was not.

My mind was calm, my heart was not.

My heart was warm, but now it's not.

----

I don't understand why we have to face reality. Why can I not stay in my illusionary world, with someone by my side, with someone who cares. Why do all things have to come to an end?

I came out of the shower, and wrapped a towel against myself…

I was about to put my clothes on, until I saw it… there… just lying, there…

It was so inviting…

I raised my hand, and grabbed it; grabbed the shiny thing and stared at it

I saw my face reflected in its glossy case

I opened the case, and took the cutting blade out

Resting my arms on the counter, I put my head down on top of them…

I was supposed to feel pain… anguish… but I didn't… I didn't feel anything

I lifted my head, and looked at myself, straight in the eye, in the mirror

Those which used to be light brown had now turned coal black

Those which once used to be sparkling now appeared to be dark bottomless pits

It was time… Time to end everything…

I tightened my grip on the blade, and put it near my skin

The rigged yet sharp edge cut through my skin at the contact

Droplets of blood began pouring out

And just when I was about to cut myself, I heard something… I heard him… I heard his voice!

"Promise me basket, you won't do anything stupid after I die!"

I threw the blade away in horror, as I stared at the blood that was slowly flowing through the cut

I ran to the kitchen, and applied some turmeric, frantically trying to stop the bleeding

I felt no pain, no nothing; but I did feel wetness on my face

Perhaps my eyes had not dried out from crying at Armaan's funeral

Perhaps the tears were going to accompany me for the rest of my life, unlike Armaan

---

I bandaged the cut, and wore my clothes

With no want in my body to intake any food, I left my house… Locking the door behind me, and going to work

I got in my car, and drove away, plastering a smile on my face, and on my way there, just repeating what Armaan had once said to me…

"Remember, pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever"

I promised Armaan, and much how like he never broke his promises, nor will I

---

Who cares that my heart is cold

Who cares that my mind is calm

Who cares that my body is still

The fact is that he is still with me

And that's all I need, to get through with each day

-End-

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