She loved me Sometimes,and I loved her too!- Too Complicated, Too soon

Pablo Neruda

There are countless reasons why people come together, and there are myriad reasons which make them drift apart. As I have always said, Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law.'

Days have passed, years have gone by, but the rules are the same, aren't they?

When I see Rocky and Happy together, all I could think about was Pablo's lines. Much has transpired over the past week, and I am equally miffed with the quick, overdramatic turn of events, tacky CGI effects, Israeli bodyguards, insanely opulent makeover and some strange party throwing and garish costumes.

(Someone, please get Happy out of that Green Kurta. Looks like the stylist got one roll of Emerald Green fabric and cut out two garish kurtas for the female lead while the male characters keep on changing clothes at the drop of a hat.😆)

But having said that, I am here for Rocky and Happy, yes, I am, for they as characters have such possibilities.

What a beautiful way than to express them through Pablo's fabulous poetry. I have tons to say and pages to write but I will still try to summarise what transpired and what were my thoughts about it, for all I see in the forum is discontent about RV's screen time. RV is getting enough, more than what is required but this is a story about Rocky and Happy, isn't it? From day one, it has been about them, their journey, their transitions and transformations, about them swapping places. Two carefree individuals with very different approaches, thrown together. Neither "Dil is Happy anymore" nor "Rocky Banda doesn't care a damn" is left anymore.

Now it's a plethora of anxiety, sadness and emotions which need closure. Sadly, the "fire" died a slow death like the first flakes of snow in winters that slowly kills the flame burning in the fireplace. But the embers are still there. Stoking them with an iron rod makes the sparks fly. That's what exactly happens when they are around each other. All the sparks fly everywhere and what appeals in not their chemistry as most of us keep looking for, but their emotions are which haywire and raw. Undefined, yet expressed under the garb of revenge' for Rocky and plain disgust' for Happy. Much anxiety and confusion occur because they really did not have a chance to explore what they had. Unlike RV, who is crystal clear about his feelings for Happy, Rocky and Happy are yet to realise what they shared. Hurt, betrayal and giving it many names, but they do not even have an inkling what they shared was much more profound than their so-called friendship which they never had. It didn't blossom. They came together for a common dream and experienced a strange pull towards each other.

'Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.

How could one not have loved her great still eyes?'

Isn't it ironical, what they had was never friendship because they never equalled, their banter was of friends, but their vibe was unspoken. Happy was always his guiding force. Much like Chintu, in whose shoes she stepped unknowingly, seamlessly. In this process, probably she never realised her firm hold on Rocky. He was always loved by most of the people but never respected. The strange bond that ties them together does stem from the fact that she was the only one who recognised him, taught him to have a purpose in life, try to take up responsibility. Death changes people, sometimes shocks the very existence of your being. That too happened to Rocky. And then, rest we know is history.

Born out of Sexual Violence, PTSD

What simmers in the horrific background is the truth about Rocky's birth. Coming from a psychology major, children born out of sexual violence sometimes experience the same symptoms of PTSD post-traumatic stress disorder, self-loathing, disgust, paranoia. It's a complex state of emotions and really a difficult thing to handle. Coupled with the sudden twist of situations where he was thrown into jail for a crime he was born out of. It's hard to imagine the horrific turmoil that goes into his already impressionable mind. He had just learnt to stand up on his feet, and the entire ground beneath him shook with an earthquake of that magnitude. What could be going in his mind?

1. Am I like my horrible father who wronged my mother?

2. Am I someone to be hated?

3. How could my mother love me so much even after being abused?

I believe, it's too much for anyone of his age to handle.

All these complex emotions have taken the shape of one motive in his life-REVENGE. It's like an anchor or greater purpose that keeps him sane. It refrains him from going off the rails.

And regarding his wrongful ways in which he had tortured Happy, don't you think unlawful confinement in Jail for 3 years is a monumental time? Isn't the trauma enough? Rocky's transformation needed an anchor- Happy, and now his transformation into this cold, calculative smiling Shaan has an anchor too? REVENGE.

And we all know how Revenge is? It is a burning coal that burns the hand which clutches onto it. Revenge seekers often are hollow human beings, there's a punch in their heart. Seeking revenge never douses their fire, it only leaves them feeling vacant, solitary and empty. What a pitiful plight!!

'I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long.'

About RV, I think that needs a separate post.😕

-Piu

Originally posted by: manzilmukul

"Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, The night is shattered

and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.

How could one not have loved her great still eyes?

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.

The night is shattered and she is not with me.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.

My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.

My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer

and these the last verses that I write for her."

Pablo Neruda

There are countless reasons why people come together, and there are myriad reasons which make them drift apart. As I have always said, Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law.'

Days have passed, years have gone by, but the rules are the same, aren't they?

When I see Rocky and Happy together, all I could think about was Pablo's lines. Much has transpired over the past week, and I am equally miffed with the quick, overdramatic turn of events, tacky CGI effects, Israeli bodyguards, insanely opulent makeover and some strange party throwing and garish costumes.

(Someone, please get Happy out of that Green Kurta. Looks like the stylist got one roll of Emerald Green fabric and cut out two garish kurtas for the female lead while the male characters keep on changing clothes at the drop of a hat.😆)

But having said that, I am here for Rocky and Happy, yes, I am, for they as characters have such possibilities.

What a beautiful way than to express them through Pablo's fabulous poetry. I have tons to say and pages to write but I will still try to summarise what transpired and what were my thoughts about it, for all I see in the forum is discontent about RV's screen time. RV is getting enough, more than what is required but this is a story about Rocky and Happy, isn't it? From day one, it has been about them, their journey, their transitions and transformations, about them swapping places. Two carefree individuals with very different approaches, thrown together. Neither "Dil is Happy anymore" nor "Rocky Banda doesn't care a damn" is left anymore.

Now it's a plethora of anxiety, sadness and emotions which need closure. Sadly, the "fire" died a slow death like the first flakes of snow in winters that slowly kills the flame burning in the fireplace. But the embers are still there. Stoking them with an iron rod makes the sparks fly. That's what exactly happens when they are around each other. All the sparks fly everywhere and what appeals in not their chemistry as most of us keep looking for, but their emotions are which haywire and raw. Undefined, yet expressed under the garb of revenge' for Rocky and plain disgust' for Happy. Much anxiety and confusion occur because they really did not have a chance to explore what they had. Unlike RV, who is crystal clear about his feelings for Happy, Rocky and Happy are yet to realise what they shared. Hurt, betrayal and giving it many names, but they do not even have an inkling what they shared was much more profound than their so-called friendship which they never had. It didn't blossom. They came together for a common dream and experienced a strange pull towards each other.

'Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.

How could one not have loved her great still eyes?'

Isn't it ironical, what they had was never friendship because they never equalled, their banter was of friends, but their vibe was unspoken. Happy was always his guiding force. Much like Chintu, in whose shoes she stepped unknowingly, seamlessly. In this process, probably she never realised her firm hold on Rocky. He was always loved by most of the people but never respected. The strange bond that ties them together does stem from the fact that she was the only one who recognised him, taught him to have a purpose in life, try to take up responsibility. Death changes people, sometimes shocks the very existence of your being. That too happened to Rocky. And then, rest we know is history.

Born out of Sexual Violence, PTSD

What simmers in the horrific background is the truth about Rocky's birth. Coming from a psychology major, children born out of sexual violence sometimes experience the same symptoms of PTSD post-traumatic stress disorder, self-loathing, disgust, paranoia. It's a complex state of emotions and really a difficult thing to handle. Coupled with the sudden twist of situations where he was thrown into jail for a crime he was born out of. It's hard to imagine the horrific turmoil that goes into his already impressionable mind. He had just learnt to stand up on his feet, and the entire ground beneath him shook with an earthquake of that magnitude. What could be going in his mind?

1. Am I like my horrible father who wronged my mother?

2. Am I someone to be hated?

3. How could my mother love me so much even after being abused?

I believe, it's too much for anyone of his age to handle.

All these complex emotions have taken the shape of one motive in his life-REVENGE. It's like an anchor or greater purpose that keeps him sane. It refrains him from going off the rails.

And regarding his wrongful ways in which he had tortured Happy, don't you think unlawful confinement in Jail for 3 years is a monumental time? Isn't the trauma enough? Rocky's transformation needed an anchor- Happy, and now his transformation into this cold, calculative smiling Shaan has an anchor too? REVENGE.

And we all know how Revenge is? It is a burning coal that burns the hand which clutches onto it. Revenge seekers often are hollow human beings, there's a punch in their heart. Seeking revenge never douses their fire, it only leaves them feeling vacant, solitary and empty. What a pitiful plight!!

'I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long.'

About RV, I think that needs a separate post.😕

-Piu

Originally posted by: ShadeOfWhite

First of all, welcome to the forum. 😊

Wow! How beautifully you put everything together! This is so so beautiful.❤️ i read your post thrice, blame it on my romantic heart here.😳

Thank you for the warm welcome 🤗 I am glad that you liked the post. I am a sappy romantic myself and there's something about RoHa that brings me back.

I as a person is hopeless romantic, when you explain like this it really gets my heart. I loved RoHa for the exact reasons you penned down so I agree with you, and also you yourself said where you are miffed at, we are all on the same boat there.

"All the sparks fly everywhere and what appeals in not their chemistry as most of us keep looking for, but their emotions are which haywire and raw. Undefined, yet expressed under the garb of revenge' for Rocky and plain disgust' for Happy. Much anxiety and confusion occur because they really did not have a chance to explore what they had. "

Like we keep saying RoHa never got to spend that amount of time to have that trust level for each other, they just barely started to become civil, friendlier and the next moment this ugly thing happened. I hope this Shaan drama ends soon which is very unlikely but the way you put it, if only CVs understood it.

I think otherwise as the failure of a Rocky to look like Shaan is the crux of the drama. And today's episode proved it probably. I loved when Happy said Aur Kitni Acting Karega.. ? It was intriguing as she neither says great acting or reprimands him but she clearly says-Aren't you tired? That nailed it because we see Rocky tired, he isn't enjoying as Shaan as he was supposed to. Wasn't it so obvious that he is bad at keeping up any pretence. I have always loved Rocky because he can be everything but a hypocrite!

Not only the costumes but also Happy's expression post leap is a big put down. I miss Happy's smile. The character has so much to do, sadly CVs aren't exploring at all. The male leads are going through transformations, they get to explore the layers of the character. But, post leap our female lead Happy has very less lines to deliver, expressions even lesser. Shit happens but that doesn't change people's personalities. These 3 years turned Happy in to 'no-Happy" to the T. She has more responsibility, has her own business. This nowhere means she has to keep a straight face or weep in a corner all the time. I know she misses Rocky, Smiley being cruel (this is beyond my understanding) to her is another thing yet her being so locked-up irks me. Where is that Happy which the entire show is based on?

Point taken but I think that the whole point of the show is their transition. Together, they were spunky, circumstances made them what they are today.

I know she'll come around once this Shaan drama is over. Point is, the leap wasn't required at this early stage of this show where there were so many plots to explore. It was unnecessary and shoved down our throats.

Looking forward to your posts.❤️

Originally posted by: sashashyam

My dear Piu,

This is what is called coming back with, no, not a bang, for that is too crude, but like a poet soaring on the wings of your own song. A song that is any day as beautiful as Neruda's poetry.

Yet why is it that I, no poet but a hard headed analyst, which is what I have been all my working life, feel that your subjects do not deserve you? Do not deserve the subtleties of your thought process, do not deserve your abundant compassion, do not deserve the layers you seek to discover in them? For if they had deserved all that you have lavished on them, they would not have been in a Gul Khan show, going by what I hear about her.

My Dear Aunty,

Before I say anything, I would like to tell you how beautiful you are and I just adore the sarees you wear. I did sneak over the Internet and found out the beautiful lady you are. Exactly like your name Shyamala( My MA's name is Shyamali). I did check out a video of yours and found your personality to be as endearing, robust and unassailable. Needless to say, I admire women like you.

Let me come back to the topic before it seems like this fangurling post 😆

You seem to me like a visionary, seeking the iridescent shades of a butterfly's wings on those of a moth. But maybe kami mujh me hi hai, that I cannot be swept along by the limpid eloquence of your language, by the warmth of your compassion that gilds these characters in a way that their makers would probably never have imagined.

I would like to mention here that what I write is what I feel about the characters and they do not necessarily reflect the blotchy screenplay or botched up melodrama that comes with Hindi Tv shows. I watch the shows and imagine my own layers to the story. My simple vision is-what if I wrote the story and hence, the subtlety of thoughts?

Let me also bring a little perspective here. I have many dear friends of mine who write TV shows and they all write with such passion. However, TRPs force them to write with ham-handedness because they cater to an audience which might not really bother to Anlyse and understand. For them, the show might just be a means to entertaining themselves after a busy day at home or otherwise. I am not a visionary but have spent a decade in the luxury beauty industry with a specialty in Brand Communication. Hence, story telling is probably what I do almost all the time. ( BTW, I hope you are feeling better now. I am an Ayurvedic Doctor, so can vouch that RA is manageable with alternative therapies)

Then again, I have not watched the first 45 or so episodes, which probably handicaps me. Still, as characters cannot change so much for the worse in a few episodes, it needs a great leap of faith to believe that this Happy and Rocky were, but a short while ago, your Happy and Rocky. As I said, perhaps the fault is mine.

I think then it would probably be judging the book by its cover. I would continue the discussion if you did manage to watch what and why RoHa shared and how they came together in the first place.

I noted your point about children born of sexual.violence being often deeply disturbed and perhaps anti-social. But Rocky doesn't know about the circumstances of his birth till the time when he first escapes from prison and comes home. His earlier violence can thus not be attributed to this.

Perhaps you misread my thread. I am not talking about His earlier violence being attributed to PTSD but I am referring to the time when he comes to know and spends that time in jail after that. The writers might not have mulled over this aspect but I do believe that during those 3 years many such thoughts would have pinched him. His anxiety may be attributed to that coupled with his unlawful conviction.

It is another matter that it would, bar a DNA test, be impossible for Kuldip to be sure that Rocky is not his son.

Again, you need to watch the previous episodes to understand Kulwant. He has been show. As a patriarch who never wanted the women to work. His whole family was a bunch of misogynistic maniacs. To such men, a wife raped is equal to his honour being shattered. To add onto it, a son born after the rape. Such men, no matter what , they do not have such sensitivity to understand the pain caused by sexual violence.

To sum up, my dear Piu, I know that this is the story of Happy and Rocky. I almost never watch socials, and I definitely did not come here for this pair. I came for Rohit, whose splendid Alexander captivated me. I think he made a mistake in accepting the role of RV. When this mistake becomes intolerable, I shall leave.

I haven't watched his earlier show, so can't comment on it. Based solely on what I've seen so far, RP is doing a decent job. However, I beg to disagree about a wrong choice. I believe every role is special for everyone. There are characters which leave a mark and he does that well.

For now, his character, doesn't have much range apart from frowning or being guilty. Let's see how the show progresses.

None of the above takes anything away from the sheer beauty of your post. However, if you would be so kind as to send me the link for your tale of Urmila, I would love to read it once again.

Shyamala Aunty

Originally posted by: Etna_Dia

Words are not enough to describe how beautiful your post is. What an analytical mind is yours!

I concur with each and every word that you wrote and I love the comparison with Pablo

Thank you. That's kind of you to share that sentiment after reading the post. Pablo Neruda is my favourite poet and somehow all his poetry seem to fit for RoHa.

You phrased it all so right, so I have nothing more to add... just a scene that I want to mention because it left me shattered... I find it so cruel from Kulwant to reveal the truth to Rocky just before his conviction... going to jail for saving a girl from being raped, being labeled as the rapist one by almost everyone, and then leaving for 10 years of imprisonment with such a burden in his heart... that must have been a very emotional consuming experience!

Originally posted by: Manoshono

Hi !! Let me sink my existence for couple of seconds in this beautiful post! 😳
Hey, your username somehow rings a faint bell. Weren't you a part of the Gulaal forum as well? If yes, you are the same Mano, then I can understand why Rocky touches a chord. He reminds me of a lost Ziddi Baccha from Gulaal. You'd probably know what I am referring to😆

If you aren't the same one, then kindly ignore my rant😆

I am usually an emotional person in general, and this post made me even more sentimental. I can go on and on about Rocky and his destructive life, his bad manners, his gunda gardi and still feel great empathy with the character. Having many shades of greys is tough to impress, but Ansh truly made me fall for Rocky and the great equation between Roha since the very start. Sadly, there was always been a dark past related to Rocky(like gul's many male leads) and I knew it was related to who he really was, but what astounded me was the fact how brutually his past was revealed to him when he was most vulnerable :( The matter you profoundly described regarding the torture one would feel knowing that your birth is a curse itself is enough of a torture to one soul for the rest of his/her life was so neatly stated. I had tears in my eyes. I wish Kulwant had the audacity to love Rocky and nurtured him the same way as his other children, then maybe just maybe Rocky would have been better. The way Rocky has been divulging and complaining that he was never appreciated or even loved by his father when he wasn't aware of the truth was heartbreaking itself. Still, the jail time for some days he served shooting at Happy's mother was justified. Probably, Happy was a lesson towards his wrong doings that hurt so many people and glad that he was able to pick up the thorns of his bad deeds and

I can understand why you can empathise with Rocky. I couldn't till the time he didn't take his own journey of redemption. I wrote about that in my previous post where I did mention his transition was vocal too.

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/dil-toh-happy-hai-ji/5079412/a-rocky-life-turned-happy

Unlike his foil RV who is consistently sinister and hypocritical. Harping about being the nice guy yet without the remotest remorse of the terrible sin he has committed. About Kulwant, I did mention in my other replies about how he is a typical patriarchal representation of our regressive society.

I can only hope that one day Rocky is able to achieve everything that he truly deserves. He is already growing on me with the ways his character is shaping up and I am glad that Rocky and Happy at this point of time is exploring their emotions for each other and be able to accomplish the trust they absolutely need in their relationship.

Amen to that.

Indeed, it was a tiny seed of love which fate planted at their first meet and then renamed friendship/partners, when they first compete, but it is the trust that is essential for them to grow into any relationship. Hence why I want to witness their beautiful journey until the destruction, but I am hopeful for the most terrific love story will ever be made out from hate and revenge. :)