Stop romanticising Violence!

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scorpion16

@scorpion16

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

Dear makers of the show,

In yesterday episode saw some disturbing behaviour from a
male lead who is portrayed as well educated and sophisticated man,
Rais his hand on his wife... Which is not at all acceptable.
U have a platform by using which u can tell ppl that this behaviour is not acceptable stop making it look
Like heroic trait.
Stop romanticising rape violence abuse of any kind to male or female.

Note:ppl with negative comment stay away

Thank you all who have taken out time and discuss this topic in such depth.
I didn't expect such positive response by majority.their concern for increase violence and to stand up against it gave me very good feelings.

Edited by scorpion16 - 8 years ago

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Frequent Posters

Mandy

@MrDarcyfan

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

I dont know if that scene was romanticizing it. Because in actual fact Om was angry. There was no pinning or blocking or any such thing. But even Still I did not like the whole holding her hand back and then in the Precap raising his hand to stop her from accusing his Bua Ma?

When they showed Shivaay acting violently with Annika before the wedding, and even pulling her hair, pushing her to get changed and then kept his boot on the bed next to her face, I was so appalled I spoke out. I even stopped watching the show coz it was too much. Even Gul Khan was promoting all that, and even shared clips of the scene where cars are chasing Annika like she is being hunted, with Heart emoticons with captions like "It's Good to be bad". She got a lot of flack for it. However, most of us who spoke out against the violence depicted in IF comments were trolled by certain factions of fans. The show makers were glorifying violence and the victimization of a female at the hands of her rich and powerful boss. SP who go on and on of "Nayi Soch" were also airing this twisted regressive content. Totally unacceptable.

Now they are trying to turn Omkara into yet another man with too much rage and his way of combating with anyone who he perceives as insulting his family is to get physical! Be it Kaali Thakur or in this case Gauri. They could have shown what they did in a lot more acceptable way without showing Om raising his hand in this regressive way. Is he a man from some backwater or a modern man? But in these shows the modern and posh one's act worse than the guys from backwaters. That is the sick bit. I bet the makers of these shows think that after they have shown these abusive guys as "Romantic Hero's" that ALL women think they are amazing.

Well sadly for them, some women do not buy into their crap. I think they underestimate the audience of their shows and think we will tolerate any crap they show. They are wrong. Stop turning Omkara into a creep who cant communicate without raising his hands and acting like a throwback to cave men. Just give it up coz we are tired of this. Show us a man we can respect, dont make us hate Om.

Edited by MrDarcyfan - 8 years ago

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sourmisery

@sourmisery

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

I really don't think they were "romanticizing" that scene though? It was truly horrendous to look at and it was just the preview. We haven't seen how it will really play out. The preview ended at someone coming in the room just when things were getting really out of hand and that just gives me hope ke the scene wouldn't end without Omkara getting a well deserved lashing. No one in their right mind would see the scene in any other light than what it is - ugly. Let's not jump to conclusions just now. Let the scene play out and then react to it. What was shown was just a glimpse of the scene anyway.

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Mandy

@MrDarcyfan

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: lostmymusic.
I really don't think they were "romanticizing" that scene though? It was truly horrendous to look at and it was just the preview. We haven't seen how it will really play out. The preview ended at someone coming in the room just when things were getting really out of hand and that just gives me hope ke the scene wouldn't end without Omkara getting a well deserved lashing. No one in their right mind would see the scene in any other light than what it is - ugly. Let's not jump to conclusions just now. Let the scene play out and then react to it. What was shown was just a glimpse of the scene anyway.

While I agree the scene was not "romanticizing" violence, I feel there was no need for them to go as far as Om raising his hand on Gauri to make their point. Yes he is angry and he doesnt want the topic of Ratan brought up. Worse still Gauri said that Bua Ma want revenge and clearly Om could not take it. But they didnt have to take it to the point of he raised his hand to make his point.

Agree we have not seen the episode play out. But I really dont want them to turn Om into a guy we have to make excuses for or defend his ugly behaviors. I dont want to be put in that position. I liked Om for the very reason that he seemed to be a guy who knew his limits. I hope they maintain that and not make us loose respect for him. Because respect once lost, is hard to gain. It happened to me when watching his Big Bro's story and I was so put off, I could not see him or that pairing the same way anymore. It took me months to even enjoy their scenes again. I dont want to be put in a similar position with RiKara! Thanks but no thanks!

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SNOWWHITE83

@SNOWWHITE83

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 8 years ago

Well i dont find anything romantic about twisting d hands n raising d hands on Gauri. omkara was pretty much angry on Gauri.Even in IB Omkara was shown aggressive wen someone tries(ishana,ridhima even tej) to harm his family or brothers.Here i felt Gauri was too insensitive asking her husband about death of his cousin brother wen she know ratan died saving Omkara or he died because of his fault n its a touchy subject for buamaa he warned her before.still she went after his back n here she is blaming buamaa taking revenge on him whom he love like a mother n whom raised him as a son..wat will b his reaction .Anger or calmness. We support a FL raising hand on ML n slapping him den y can ML raise hand on FL.where is d gendre equality gone.

Edited by .SNOWWHITE. - 8 years ago

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scorpion16

@scorpion16

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: MrDarcyfan
I dont know if that scene was romanticizing it. Because in actual fact Om was angry. There was no pinning or blocking or any such thing. But even Still I did not like the whole holding her hand back and then in the Precap raising his hand to stop her from accusing his Bua Ma?

When they showed Shivaay acting violently with Annika before the wedding, and even pulling her hair, pushing her to get changed and then kept his boot on the bed next to her face, I was so appalled I spoke out. I even stopped watching the show coz it was too much. Even Gul Khan was promoting all that, and even shared clips of the scene where cars are chasing Annika like she is being hunted, with Heart emoticons with captions like "It's Good to be bad". She got a lot of flack for it. However, most of us who spoke out against the violence depicted in IF comments were trolled by certain factions of fans. The show makers were glorifyingviolence and the victimization of a female at the hands of her rich and powerful boss. SP who go on and on of "Nayi Soch" were also airing this twisted regressive content. Totally unacceptable.

Now they are trying to turn Omkara into yet another man with too much rage and his way of combating with anyone who he perceives as insulting his family is to get physical! Be it Kaali Thakur or in this case Gauri. They could have shown what they did in a lot more acceptable way without showing Om raising his hand in this regressive way. Is he a man from some backwater or a modern man? But in these shows the modern and posh one's act worse than the guys from backwaters. That is the sick bit. I bet the makers of these shows think that after they have shown these abusive guys as "Romantic Hero's" that ALL women think they are amazing.

Well sadly for them, some women do not buy into their crap. I think they underestimate the audience of their shows and think we will tolerate any crap they show. They are wrong. Stop turning Omkara into a creep who cant communicate without raising his hands and acting like a throwback to cave men. Just give it up coz we are tired of this. Show us a man we can respect, dont make us hate Om.

I just loved every word u said. Very well said. 👏

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sourmisery

@sourmisery

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: MrDarcyfan

While I agree the scene was not "romanticizing" violence, I feel there was no need for them to go as far as Om raising his hand on Gauri to make their point. Yes he is angry and he doesnt want the topic of Ratan brought up. Worse still Gauri said that Bua Ma want revenge and clearly Om could not take it. But they didnt have to take it to the point of he raised his hand to make his point.

Agree we have not seen the episode play out. But I really dont want them to turn Om into a guy we have to make excuses for or defend his ugly behaviors. I dont want to be put in that position. I liked Om for the very reason that he seemed to be a guy who knew his limits. I hope they maintain that and not make us loose respect for him. Because respect once lost, is hard to gain. It happened to me when watching his Big Bro's story and I was so put off, I could not see him or that pairing the same way anymore. It took me months to even enjoy their scenes again. I dont want to be put in a similar position with RiKara! Thanks but no thanks!

I'm not defending Omkara though. I said this is another post last night that raising hands on Gauri doesn't suit Omkara. But if we see his behavior in DBO, does it really come as a surprise? His anger has no leash when it comes to Gauri and I've long compromised with this fact. I'm just looking forward to that scene because the more he gets angry, the more he pushes the boundary. That means the uglier his actions become. I'm just glad someone else witnessed that ugliness. Gauri, for whatever pathetic reason, is always ready to put up with his shit. But a sane outsider wouldn't. I'm so hoping it's Jhanvi and she shows Omkara the reality of his actions. This was the same behavior that made Omkara go against Tej. He is doing the very same thing that he grew up hating. Gauri is oblivious to this, Jhanv isn't.

An ideal situation would be where Omkara never did come close to raising his hand at Gauri. Sadly that has happened. So the next best scenario would be that there's a STOP put on his action the very second he raised his hand. I don't want this to come across as me defending Omkara but I wouldn't mind Omkara regretting his action as soon as he did it or come close to doing it. Ab if that regret comes with someone else pointing it out to him, so be it. Omkara apni nahin sunta, kisi aur ki tou sunn le. As long as wo SUNE. Ugly behavior is a part and parcel of 4Lion ke MLs and Omkara has looong become a typical 4L ML. I just have a tiny hope in me, seeing Omkara's very recent human behavior with Gauri, that this ugliness wouldn't increase in the future days because someone will stop that from escalating.

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Mandy

@MrDarcyfan

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

@Snowwhite:

When people were accusing Omkara of being heartless and misunderstanding Gauri and not giving her a chance etc, I defended him. Becuase the truth was he did not profit from marrying Gauri in Bareilly and then he found out Gauri was lying to him and living as ChulBul. He had NO reason to trust her. In that situation I did not support FL just because she is a woman.

Again in this case I am not supporting FL. I am condeming ML for his way of reacting to the situation. Yes we all accept he is angry and Gauri should not have inisited on knowing Ratan's truth. But the fact is like ALL good Bahu types that is her job to do. Om doesn't like it, but that wont stop her. However, Om raising his hand on her is Not the correct way to deal with it.

No one supports FL raising hand on the ML if he did not "deserve" it. If the female tires to slap the male lead or slaps the male lead when he didnt deserve it, I wont appluad. But if he DID deserve it I will. But a man hitting a woman is not acceptable, because in physical strength a man is more powerful than a woman. Therefore hitting someone less powerful than you is NOT acceptable.

It's like hitting a child. If a child does something bad, we can give them a smack on their bum. But we cannot hit them hard on the back, or push them etc. THAT is abuse. A man hitting a woman is abuse. There is no grey area here! Sorry.

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Mandy

@MrDarcyfan

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

@lostmymusic:

Agree about 4L ML's. I have seen several and they all have their trademark, push the boundary and abuse females while still remaining a semi decent guy formula.

But in Om's case it could also be a psychological drama. Because despite hating some of our parents behaviors and wishing never to emulate them, we may "revert to type" and act exactly as they did in a similar situation. Like it or not, we have mirrored their actions. We have become what we despised in our parents.

Why is it that alcoholic fathers have a higher chance of having alcoholic children? Is it coz the children never saw the harm it did? They did, but still could not avoid falling in that trap. Sometimes people do everything in their power to not repeat their parents mistakes. But sometimes without even realizing it, we start repeating their mistakes. I think that is what is happening here. Om is a product of a dysfunctional marriage and sadly he has never seen a healthy marriage, so doesn't even know what it looks like.

Lets hope the writers think as much of these angles as we do, or at least TRY to make some sense instead of senselessly showing a man throwing his weight around. There is nothing Hot about it, but to be fair I dont think that is what they are trying to show here.

Edited by MrDarcyfan - 8 years ago

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sourmisery

@sourmisery

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: MrDarcyfan
@lostmymusic:
Agree about 4L ML's. I have seen several and they all have their trademark, push the boundary and abuse females while still remaining a semi decent guy formula.

But in Om's case it could also be a psychological drama. Because despite hating some of our parents behaviors and wishing never to emulate them, we may "revert to type" and act exactly as they did in a similar situation. Like it or not, we have mirrored their actions. We have become what we despised in our parents.

Why is it that alcoholic fathers have a higher chance of having alcoholic children? Is it coz the children never saw the harm it did? They did, but still could not avoid falling in that trap. Sometimes people do everything in their power to not repeat their parents mistakes. But sometimes without even realizing it, we start repeating their mistakes. I think that is what is happening here. Om is a product of a dysfunctional marriage and sadly he has never seen a healthy marriage, so doesn't even know what it looks like.

Lets hope the writers think as much of these angles as we do, or at least TRY to make some sense instead of senselessly showing a man throwing his weight around. There is nothing Hot about it, but to be fair I dont think that is what they are trying to show here.

I just got reminded of that episode when Omkara raised his hand on Tej. So it's not like Omkara never had the extreme violent tendencies in him. What makes the behavior super uncomfortable to watch with Gauri is because Gauri is a woman and well..that's a different ballgame altogether.

ANYWAY! I'm majorly +1ing your point of this being a psychological drama and this being not a "hot" scene. You said it a lot more clearly than I was going on about it. What matters in this scene is not the act of Omkara being this violent with Gauri but the consequences of it. The highlight for me is someone walking in on the scene and witnessing this horror. I'm really hoping that this would be the scene where we'll FINALLY get to see Omkara's point of view about things. His introspection that has been long overdue. Writers have lost their sense when it comes to Omkara long ago but what's another hope for us? So here's to hoping that this scene will address Omkara's demons that have been shoved in the closet for way too long. There's a reason Omkara is the way he is but those reasons are never properly explained. Which is why it has been so hard to relate to Omkara in DBO for me. I'd LOVE to see the "why" of his actions being explored. We deserve it. Gauri deserves it. Their relationship deserves to know how deep Omkara's scars run. Of course they don't excuse Omkara's extreme actions but acknowledging issues is a battle half won.

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