Posted:
"To love is to be vulnerable. " - G.E Lewis.
I came across a revealing piece of writing today while skimming through a girl's fabulous fabulous fabulous blog on Tumblr. It was written by G.E Lewis and it made me think of all such people that I have read about , have known , have met in person. People who like to believe that their heart is just a blood pumping machine and it is all auricles and ventricles . They never see their hearts as a pink chickpea. Its all blood.
This breed of people are born with a basic instinct of protecting their heart and owning their existence. They wrap their hearts in black velvet , put it in a marble box , lock it and throw the key away into the sea. Hoping that they never find it and nobody finds it for them. Then, they straighten up , get their act and their swagger together , put grins on their cold beautiful faces and they TAKE ON THE WORLD. And why not? They have nothing to fear. Nothing can get to them, nothing can hurt them, nothing can break them because their emotion, their very ability to FEEL the vulnerability of the self and the other has been switched off. Its then that the universe tries, wishes , hopes and even sends something or somebody their way so that they can find that key which they threw away in the sea.
UV is an enigmatic example of this rare breed. Look at him. He has surrounded his heart with luxuries , distractions and amusements , wine, women , vanity - a whole entertainment carousel with lights , laughter, music . So, that his heart is so busy with the carousel ride that it finds no reason to stop for a while and feel. So, that , not even for once his own heart talks to him and makes him search who he is. Its like his heart is like a little child. He has given it an orange ice lolly and sent it to enjoy the fare , so that it doesn't come back and ask him "when are we going home? "
He doesn't connect emotionally to anyone. Not even to himself. He wouldn't remember the last time Giriraj hugged him like his little boy or talked to him something that was not about power, monarchy and reputation. He has a dormant connect to his sister Unnati but he keeps her at an arm's distance as well. She is like his little toy who he loves playing with but would never hold to his heart. He doesn't feel anything for himself either. He would marry anyone from a street tramp to the queen of the world and never expect her to love him. He gives nothing. He wants nothing.
UV is a self-conditioned man who himself put water into his emotional machinery so that it rusts into nothingness. People like UV come across as powerful , fatally attractive and you can never pin point what is it about them that draws others to them. That something is the 'INVINCIBLE & UNBREAKABLE' quality about them. Has to be. An unfeeling sleeping heart breeds the talent of the unbreakable.
But , but , but. The story of the unbreakables is like that of the snow queen. One tear of warmth melts them into a pool of water. When somebody finds that lost key to the marble box for people like UV, they are worse than Greek Tragedies and have all the suppressed beatings of their heart unleashed as the heart riles up every fiber of their existence like a rising lion and demands to be allowed to feel.
You work against the law of universe, against nature , against yourself by freezing your heart. So, the revenge of the same is often very painful. This breed of human beings suffers a lot , hurts a lot , cries a lot and they are a painful sight because they are suddenly FEELING and they have long forgotten how to feel.
And we want this UNBREAKABLE UV to fall in love. To feel. To experience what nature and Providence have decided for humanity. To be like any other human being who when slapped will cry in pain instead of smirking and grinning. LOVELY.
But this also means you want to see him suffer , to know what tears are like, to feel what a heavy heart means , to cry and weep, to walk around with a strange pain that he cannot heal. SAD.
Would that make UV happy? Happier than he is now when his emotions are switched off? Ironical, isn't it? These people work so hard to keep themselves unfeeling and one fine day , one twist of fate makes them bursts into tears. Making them realize that they cannot control what is not meant to be in their control.
For UV, it makes sense to FEEL if he is ever going to find his soulmate in Maanyata. Or else there is no reason to take away that badass grin from his face and that swag from his gait. If he is not meant to find redemption and release in love and in Maanyata, he is absolutely fine as the powerhouse that he is now. He may not be your goody cookie but at least he doesn't know what the word 'pain' means in the English Dictionary. His world is cold and vain but he is safe there. Nothing can get under his skin and hurt him. He can live a life where he leads a life of conditioned happiness but without an ounce of pain.
To be honest, i am cool with a dark UV if Maanyata is not his light. If she is , then, even if he becomes vulnerable , she will be his shield and he will be hers.
IF ONLY...
Love and luck always,❤️
GOD bless everyone. 🤗
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