Ayesha123 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1
Thoughts were wandering around my mind like a wave on a golden beach, which seemed to devastate me. The pure silk which J claimed to be specially made for her from "Italy". As my lower hips were surrounded and comforted by the silk which sent an unwanted shiver down my spine. The room was surrounded by silence my mind wanted to be free of that loud silence, I haven't heard silence that loud ever since I was kidnapped when I was younger. As the slide of the opening doors cut through the silence, which made me immediately move my neck. I was hoping for no more surprises in my twisted and fateful life. I was surprised to see a golden, well toned body , covered with a light crimson shirt which seemed to catch my eye because of the way it was well groomed and a very simple yet elegant pair of dark black pants followed. I look as if I haven't seen someone like this in a million years. I look up to my surprise it was "Mr. Pohonchi Huyi Cheese", he moved like Jagger and came to sit beside me in a very graceful manner. I turned my direction in a smugly way towards him he pulled his hand toward my cheek and I felt the warmth of his hand burn through me like a 100 watt light bulb. He said "To humari pyaari dulhan kaisi hain". I slid his hand across as if I had a burn when he touched me. He walks towards me with a usual effervescent smirk on his face which made it seem like he was blushing. He said" Kya aaj humari jungli billi ke pass koi rangeen shabd nahi hai humare liye" I was furious which made me scream 30 words at him like saale, kutte, kameena, khasma nu khana, makkad and many other words. Which made his smile even larger, he had a a smile which could light up a whole town. He said "Thanks princess, aap ne to humara din bana diya" He said that while he notoriously grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle kiss. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I hated him, I had to agree that I wanted that tender moment to last a lifetime. Then he immediately pulls me close as I feel his warm and refreshing breath, we were so close that I suddenly closed my eyes, I suddenly hear heels cracking on the ground. I open my eyes in a jiffy to look up to see J, I free my body of Uday's manly grip on my waistline , But it was worthwhile to see the amusing look on J's face. Honestly she looked as If she was a volcano and about to erupt. Uday was too busy looking at my lips, then the noise of J made him change his direction immediately to "Hey beautiful, hum to bas jaane hi waale the" She just glares at Uday , while Uday looks at me until he is walking out the door with his usual "Oh girl you're mine " looks. He hasn't looked at me that way ever since the day I came to this palace! I had to agree Uday's smooth behaviour amused me quite a lot unlike Akash's personality!



I read many stories on this forum so I thought I should give a Manveer story a shot. I know it isn't very good, but give me suggestions and comments so for next time so I can improve! Thanks for all your support!😳

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KSG_luv thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2
Yea u r right it wasn't very good
It was actually brilliant
It was wonderful
Super fantastic fabulous and fantabulous
Loved It to the core
Please continue and do pm me wen u update can't wait.
Also one question where were they like essays sitting somewhere
Or Standing
Over tht it was just perfect perfectly written
Hubze thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3
Dude it was really nice 👍🏼... Do write more on manveer and if possible PM me... 😃
utopia88 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
Great work! I enjoyed reading it!👏

Udayveer is a ladies man for sure! lol😆😍


OlicityFan thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5
great attempt !!

just add OS in ur topic title so that others come to know that its a one-shot .


Badtameez_Dil thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#6
beautifully written!!!!!
u used so apt lines of uday & moniya!!!!👏
moksha89 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7
liked this part, the way you described things were really nice .. the beach comparison was nice & i can't wait to read more!
just adjust your thread title with SS, OS, etc , so everyone else can find your story & enjoy reading, too 😃
-SilverAngel- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8
Thats ruddy brilliant...
Uday has moves like Jagger
Just loved how you wrote everything from Manyata's POV!
-TellyPrincess- thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#9

It Is Great And I Think You Should Continue Writing!!!!!

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