ManVeer OS: Ghadbhad picnic (updated on page 1)

.Luvu. thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#1

I am writting the OS, this is the introduction of it

(Location: Rajmahal)

Jay: oh pls DS, pahele tho aap kehte ho ke apne behen se nazdekiya badao aur phir khud hi rukhte hai

DadaSahab: yeh kaisa tareka hua nazdekiya badane ki? Humne kaha na Manyata Rajmahal se bahar hargis nahi jayengi

Jay: oh common DS, chota sa picnic hi tho hai wo bhi humare farm house pe, aur vaise bhi L and K bhi jaa rahe hai aur Vijay bhaiya aur Unati bhi aur hum bhi tho hai na DS..Manaya jiji ka pura khayal rakhenge (she said with a wicked grin)

DadaSahab: (thought for a moment) thek hai lekin Manyata agar waha se bhag gaye tho iske zimdedar aap hoge aur apko saaza bhi milengi

Jay: (frowned and smiled) dont worry DS

-----Scene Shift-----

(Jay and Vijay walking alone in the corridor towards her room)

Vijay: So Jay Bhai, Kya plan hai? (notices the wicked grin on Jay's face)

Jay: Bass aap dekhte jaye (she opens the door to her room) Manyata jiji (makes a forced sweet face) chaliye jaldi se tayaar ho jaye, hum picnic ke liye jaa rahe hai

Manyata: PICNIC! yane iss jail khane Rajmahal se bahar (a grin bursts on Manyata's face then a frown) Picnic aur tere sath? iss se acha tho yeh jail khana hi

Jay: Thek hai jaise apki marzi, main chiki aur soni ko bhi mana kar leti ho, bechari kitne excited thi

Manyata: Chiki aur Soni bhi ah rahe hai? (another grin bursts on her face) Chalo PICNIC

-----Scene Shift-----

(Location: Uday's Hotel)

Unati: Picnic pe chal rahe ho na?

Uday: Boring!

Unati: thek hai! vaise Manyata bhi ah rahe hai (just adds the sentence)

Uday: (thinks for a min) Interesting! (gives a slight smilish smirk) Quite intertesting (his smile takes a wicked smirk turn)

Unati: yane tum ah rahe ho na?

Uday: humne mana kab kiya?

-----Scene Shift-----

(Location: Chawl)

(Aakash is just here to play indirect cupid.)

Aakash: Picnic?

Chiki: haan aakash yehi mauka hai Manayata se milne ka

Aakash: Wo apne zindagi mein aghe bhad chuki hai, ushe milke main usshe peche dekhne mein majbor nahi karna chahta

Soni: Tho ushe math milo? lekin tum ushe dekh tho sakhte ho. Humara farz tha tumhe batana, ab tum kuch bhi kar lo, tumari marzi

Chiki: Main tho kehte ho mauke ka faida uthalo, dilwale ho tho dulhaniya le hi aao

Soni: chup kar!

----------

(All of them are going to picnic at the same place, same time. To be Continued.Picture abhi bakhi hai mere dost 😉)

(Scroll down to read the next part)
Edited by .Luvu. - 13 years ago

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--ANGEL-- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2
nice part...looking 4ward to the picnic...update soon
Hubze thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3
Nice start...😊 Do PM me for the next part...
Edited by Hubze - 13 years ago
KSG_luv thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
Loved it can't wait to see maanveer plz update soon and do pm
Me
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5
This was sooo good :D

I love your TV-episode format. Makes the envisioning better 😆

Looking forward to your next update! If theres a PM list, please add me :)
.Luvu. thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#6
Thats really nice of you all to like what I have written, 😃 Luvu khush hua 😆
.Luvu. thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#7
Sorry for updating in parts but I am updating as I write

(Location: Devghad Farm House)

Vijay-Jay-K-L: (get out of the car and get into he house)

Soni-Chiki: (look up at the house and waterfalls around and are aww struck.)

Manyata: (closes her eyes and breaths the fresh air, enjoying the slight freedom. She turns round and round, feeling a cool air on her body. She bumps into someone and opens her eyes) TU? (she frowns seeing Uday in front of her)

Uday: (dressed to kill) Hi Princess ya humare hone wale biwi kahe? (winks at her)

Manyata: Tujse baat karna hi bekar hai, baatien tere pale padte nahi aur gali tere sar ke upar se nikal jaati hai, haan nahi tho (turns to go)

Uday: (holds her arms and pulls her really close to him with a jerk and makes his grip tight on her) haan nahi tho, jante ho tum jab yeh haan nahi tho kehte ho tab (makes his two fingers walk on her spine)

Manyata: (she feels electric current, at a same time a replusive feeling with his touch) chod mujhe. (she tries to leave herself but this time his grip is quite good.)

Uday: (he just watches her struggle to get out of his grip)

Manyata: Chod mujhe varna aisa haal karonge ke

Uday: ke? (by his expression it seems he really likes such challenges) ke kya? kat longe? ya phir kuch naya karne ka plan hai? (flirts with her)

Manyata: Tere chamdi(skin) badi dent(tough) hai issliye Katne ya marne se kuch nahi hoga, tujhe teri hi basha mein samajna hoga

Uday: Really? (flirtishous expression in his voice) Hum intezar karenge (leaves her with a jerk and walks towards the house hearing Manyata's galis from behind)

Manyata: Saala khuta kamina ullu ka patta eide pede aur duniya ke saare bure wali galiyan, haan nahi tho (angry but cute)

Chiki: (runs towards Moniya) tu thek hai na? Yeh Udayveer apne aap ko samajta kya hai? Rajkumar hai tho kuch bhi kar lenga

Soni: vaise kafi woh hai wo, wo kya kehte hai? haan HOT!

Chiki: (hits soni on her hand) par Aakash se zyaadha nahi. (giggles)

Manyata: (face drops on hearing Aakash's name and tears fill her eyes.)

------Scene Shifts------

(Location: A little distance away from farm house.)

Aakash: (standing behind some trees and looking at Manyata/Moniya. Tears fill his eyes too.) Mujhe maaf kar dena Moniya, Main chahte hue bhi tumare asho nahi poch sakhta

"kisne kaha nahi pooch sakhte?" (a voice comes from behind. He turns to find Jay)

Jay: Namaste hone wali jijaji.

Aakash: (is all confused)

Jay: Hum Manyata, sorry apki Moniya ke choti behen hai aur wo sirf apse pyaar karte hai tho iss naate se aap mere hone wale jijaji hue na?

Aakash: (he does not want to argue so opts to silently walk away)

Jay: (stops his way) Moniya wakai apse bahut pyar karte hai aur yeh log zabardasti uske shaadi Udayveer se karvana chahte hai, aur agar yeh shaadi ho gaye tho kya hoga, kya Moniya khush rahengi?

Aakash: uski balai ishe mein hai, wo khush rehna sekh jayengi, main janta ho ushe

Jay: bale hi itne saal badh mile hai lekin hai tho humare behen hi aur humse zyaadha ushe koi nahi samaj sakhta (she is full in for some emotional attyachar) aur Udayveer kis kisam ka ladka hai wo tho aap paper mein phad hi chuke hoge, aaj yeh ladki tho kal wo ladki aur Moniya tho bass uske liye ek khilona ke tarha hai

Aakash: (cannot hear these words) CHUP RAHIYE ! (he shouts out)

Jay: (she gets annoyed) Listen you, dont dare you raise your voice in front of me. Ek tho maddat karo aur upar se, thek hai jaise tumare marzi, Loser

Aakash: (Jay's words echoes in his ears)

Jay: hum tho bass dho premi ko milana chahte the aur (pretends to cry) humse Moniya ka dukh dekha nahi jaata

Aakash: (he feels frustrated because of his helplessness in the situation) THO MAIN KARO KYA? (screams) karo kya (holds his head)

Jay: Kuch nahi, bass raat ko waterfall ke samne wait karna, Moniya wohi milengi tumhe

(Aakash-Jay still in conversation)

-----Scene Shifts-----

Uday: (over hears Aakash-Jay conversation, a dark intense look over takes his sweet face and then he gives his signature smirk, his smirk spelled 'bachchu kuch bhi kar lo, Manyata is mine :p')

-----Scene Shifts-----

(Location: Farm house bedroom)

Chiki: kya karne wali hai tu?

Manyata: (opens Jay's bags and takes out some lipsticks and dresses)

Soni: Kya chal raha hai tumara dimag mein?

Manyata: Plan. uss khute ke pooch yane Uday ko seedhe karne ka plan

Chiki: kaisa plan?

Manyata: bass tum dekhti jao. haan nahi tho

-----Scene shifts to jay-aakash----

Jay: (in her minds thinks aaj raat jo yaha hone wala hai wo dekhne ke liye ab hum aur intezar nahi kar sakhte)

----Scene shifts to Uday----

Uday: (in his mind thinks chahe jitne koshish kar le Jay, kitne bhole ho aap, soochte ho ke tumare inn choto moto chalo se Manyata ko humse door kar donge lekin Manyata se humien koi door nahi kar sakhte, khud Manyata bhi nahi!)

Edited by .Luvu. - 13 years ago
SRJKiShraddha thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8
Superb dear , waiting for your next update
S.H.I.E.L.D. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9
Finally something Soni says sensible. Uday is HOT. So what if it's the fanfic version. :P

On a serious note, I like the whole everyone's-gonna-play-a-game-on-each-other dynamic. So looking forward to see JN's plan fall flat. Courtesy of Uday, of course. I have the inner eye. LOL. I want to see Manyata's plan the most. Mostly because Uday has no idea about it. 😆

Please update soon!

TC.
Edited by tvlover92 - 13 years ago
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Posted: 13 years ago
#10
Sooo interesting...waiting for u to update more pARTS :)

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