Can your work colleagues be friends? - Page 3

Originally posted by: SholaJoBhadkey

My sentiments, too!

My best friend here is also my office-mate! We have shared, along with office space, our happiness, sorrows, heartbreaks, parental nagging (when we were single), husband sorrows 😆, office gossip - the works. I can't imagine sharing so much time, and an office with a mere acquaintance!

you mean " a friend of misery"....😆

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

you mean " a friend of misery"....😆

Sukh ke sab hain saathi, dukh mein miley na koi! So, dukh ka saathi or "friend of misery" is a true friend 😛 Thus proved - Colleagues can be friends. Chalo, debate ko taala lagao 😆

Originally posted by: SholaJoBhadkey

Sukh ke sab hain saathi, dukh mein miley na koi! So, dukh ka saathi or "friend of misery" is a true friend 😛 Thus proved - Colleagues can be friends. Chalo, debate ko taala lagao 😆

u know this is just limited to talking and gossipiing right?😆.. thus proved!!! - sure lagao jaha taala lagana hai....😆

Originally posted by: lighthouse

Sometimes best friends drift away from each other as they cannot relate to each other any more or have lost interest in the friend. They may continue to care for each other but don't feel like talking to them every day/ week/ month. It happens as people move away , get married, grow up 😛 , or simply going thru different stages in life.

😊 right - the ultimate truth.. i dont know how people call work colleagues friends especially when there is a perfect term for them - coworker... even when you put people in Instant messengers groups there is a group for co-workers and another one for friends....there is nothing like coworker+friend.... so its pointless debating about the same here....

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

u know this is just limited to talking and gossipiing right?😆.. thus proved!!! - sure lagao jaha taala lagana hai....😆

No! It also includes coffee, dinner, shopping trips, birthday parties 😆

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

😊 right - the ultimate truth.. i dont know how people call work colleagues friends especially when there is a perfect term for them - coworker... even when you put people in Instant messengers groups there is a group for co-workers and another one for friends....there is nothing like coworker+friend.... so its pointless debating about the same here....

That's a sweeping generalisation. I am living proof that you can have a coworker (or two) who is also a friend. And a friend in the true sense of the word (leaving aside all those quips on what we share). I can't see what is so difficult to understand here - maybe it's difficult for men, but then my husband had a work colleague who is a friend!

What constitutes a friend? Here's something I found which discusses friends and friendship:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans. Are you implying that such behaviour cannot exist between two people who work together?

This article focuses on the notion specific to interpersonal relationships. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

the tendency to desire what is best for the other, sympathy and empathy, honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• mutual understanding.

How difficult can it be to accomplish this between two individuals? Granted you may be competing at some level, but that can happen with school friends, university friends, mohalla friends. Does it mean that all friendships are rendered null and void because your friend may compete with you and win the "egg and spoon race" or date the person you had your eyes on? There will be people at work who will go out of their way to stick the knife in your back, and there will be people who will do some or all of the actions mentioned above. To deprive yourself of a friendship by denying that it cannot exist between people working together is a grievous disservice you will be doing yourself. When one can form a marital bond with an office colleague, then why is it impossible to form a friendship??

Originally posted by: SholaJoBhadkey

That's a sweeping generalisation. I am living proof that you can have a coworker (or two) who is also a friend. And a friend in the true sense of the word (leaving aside all those quips on what we share). I can't see what is so difficult to understand here - maybe it's difficult for men, but then my husband had a work colleague who is a friend!

What constitutes a friend? Here's something I found which discusses friends and friendship:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans. Are you implying that such behaviour cannot exist between two people who work together?

This article focuses on the notion specific to interpersonal relationships. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

the tendency to desire what is best for the other, sympathy and empathy, honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• mutual understanding.

How difficult can it be to accomplish this between two individuals? Granted you may be competing at some level, but that can happen with school friends, university friends, mohalla friends. Does it mean that all friendships are rendered null and void because your friend may compete with you and win the "egg and spoon race" or date the person you had your eyes on? There will be people at work who will go out of their way to stick the knife in your back, and there will be people who will do some or all of the actions mentioned above. To deprive yourself of a friendship by denying that it cannot exist between people working together is a grievous disservice you will be doing yourself. When one can form a marital bond with an office colleague, then why is it impossible to form a friendship??

you said it all brilliantly SJB👏👏👏 Nothing more left to say here 😊.

Originally posted by: SholaJoBhadkey

That's a sweeping generalisation. I am living proof that you can have a coworker (or two) who is also a friend. And a friend in the true sense of the word (leaving aside all those quips on what we share). I can't see what is so difficult to understand here - maybe it's difficult for men, but then my husband had a work colleague who is a friend!

What constitutes a friend? Here's something I found which discusses friends and friendship:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans. Are you implying that such behaviour cannot exist between two people who work together? i dont see not existing amongst total strangers.. much of this is factored outside friendship

This article focuses on the notion specific to interpersonal relationships. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Sure... if only I could fly....Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

the tendency to desire what is best for the other, sympathy and empathy, honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• mutual understanding.

All these are too high demands some of which may not come from people you would expect it from...leave aside friends... yes there are good bookish definition of friends. All I feel is they are not really possible at workplace unless someone is getting married to someone or having an affair.. something like that...rest are all acquaintances.. can be good, better or best...😊

How difficult can it be to accomplish this between two individuals? Granted you may be competing at some level, but that can happen with school friends, university friends, mohalla friends. Does it mean that all friendships are rendered null and void because your friend may compete with you and win the "egg and spoon race" or date the person you had your eyes on? There will be people at work who will go out of their way to stick the knife in your back, and there will be people who will do some or all of the actions mentioned above. To deprive yourself of a friendship by denying that it cannot exist between people working together is a grievous disservice you will be doing yourself. When one can form a marital bond with an office colleague, then why is it impossible to form a friendship?? Aur jaise tali ek haath se nahi bajti.. friendship is not one way.. sometimes it is almost imposssdible to find somebody who can reciprocate but yes.. its a matter of perception.. one can think what they like sab chalta hai...

True dirnedship takes a lot of time. Like LH said people move on and nobody really keeps in touch or may be does a routine by adding them to teh email list... with people moving one, having their own priorities... so on... unless you are working for the govt.. where its like appointment to pension plan.. you cant really make friends...

arre maine instant messenger jasie msn yahoo ki baat ki aur aap ramayan sunane laga gayi... 😆 all said i think its exception u might be citing one... typically and normally its not true...😊.. You cant even develop this with your next door neighbor.unless its sometime. even if you take some introductory gajar ka halwa... 😆

Originally posted by: SholaJoBhadkey

That's a sweeping generalisation. I am living proof that you can have a coworker (or two) who is also a friend. And a friend in the true sense of the word (leaving aside all those quips on what we share). I can't see what is so difficult to understand here - maybe it's difficult for men, but then my husband had a work colleague who is a friend!

What constitutes a friend? Here's something I found which discusses friends and friendship:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans. Are you implying that such behaviour cannot exist between two people who work together?

This article focuses on the notion specific to interpersonal relationships. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

the tendency to desire what is best for the other, sympathy and empathy, honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• mutual understanding.

How difficult can it be to accomplish this between two individuals? Granted you may be competing at some level, but that can happen with school friends, university friends, mohalla friends. Does it mean that all friendships are rendered null and void because your friend may compete with you and win the "egg and spoon race" or date the person you had your eyes on? There will be people at work who will go out of their way to stick the knife in your back, and there will be people who will do some or all of the actions mentioned above. To deprive yourself of a friendship by denying that it cannot exist between people working together is a grievous disservice you will be doing yourself. When one can form a marital bond with an office colleague, then why is it impossible to form a friendship??

I agree with you. There is nothing better than co-worker+ friend. There can be and I have.

Originally posted by: *Jaya*

At this age of cut-throat competition in our work lives, and we as human beings becoming increasingly complex as we grow older - can we really have good friendship with those associated with our work? Most of us do have pleasant and non-work conversations with our colleagues, we do often go out for lunches and dinners together - but can we really call them and trust them completely as friends?

Ur thoughts pls 😊

Jaya ji ! Nice topic.👏

Why can't collegues be friends?

The level of trust we can keep on any collegue depends on our behaviour and his/ her behaviour. If we are insecure and if we try to degrade others, or gossip about other team members or any one..then it is not possible to search friends in our collegues😛

We donot import friends from Mars or venus...we find them in everyplace....even in school..all schoolmates cannot be friends....similarly....even at work place we can be friendly with all the collegues but can make only few friends😊......

Cheers,

Mythili