Was she right?

Over the weekend I met a young guy (late 20s, early 30s) who had quite a story and had me thinking. lets call him adam.

A few years back he entered into a relationship with a girl (eve) who had a child from a previous relationship. They dated for some years and the girl became pregnant.

she encountered some problems with her pregnancy which basically led to either her surviving or the baby. adam was not aware of the situation that eve was in since she did not tell him and neither did the doctor.

so without consulting adam, eve decided to have the baby and thereby giving up her life and leaving the newborn along with her son from the previous relationship (who was 4) with adam.

i don't know the exact details as to her medical condition.

now the question that i've been debating in my mind is that was eve right in making this decision. keep in mind several questions:

1. her responsibility as a mother to her first child.

2. her responsibility as a partner to adam.

3. was this fair to adam?

let me also add that adam has proved to be a WONDERFUL father to both of these boys. he treats the older boy (now 8)no different than his own (now 4).

Originally posted by: mittijalebi

1. her responsibility as a mother to her first child.

she failed in that, if she chose to die for the second child.

2. her responsibility as a partner to adam.

that should have been a mutual decision. if it wasn't, then she failed in that as well.

3. was this fair to adam?

life is unfair. if adam was consulted, then i think it was fair.
if he wasn't, and he was forced to do everything for the first son, then it wasn't fair.
sounds like Adam is a great guy! 👏👏

I SHOULD NOT be passing judgements here since this must have been a really tough decision. It is an extremely hard and unfair situation. I wish the family well! I just wrote based on what I would do in those very sad shoes!

Originally posted by: mittijalebi

if i was to get pregnant again my feelings for my kids who are already born are much stronger than for the one who's still a fetus.

Originally posted by: raj5000

Sad to hear that Eve had to go... for all Eve/Adam/kids = peace/wishes/love+luck+wishes.

Now then, I will not ty to be judgmental here, basically becuase Eve's side of story is unknown... what if she really wanted to give utmost happiness to Adam by bearing his own child, after having the confidence on Adam 👏 ... that with 2 darls he would make it. Imagine the love she had for Adam and treated / trusted him 👏 by her own child, when we all know what a child means to a mother. Nothing more to add here. 😊

Originally posted by: raj5000

Sad to hear that Eve had to go... for all Eve/Adam/kids = peace/wishes/love+luck+wishes.

Now then, I will not ty to be judgmental here, basically becuase Eve's side of story is unknown... what if she really wanted to give utmost happiness to Adam by bearing his own child, after having the confidence on Adam 👏 ... that with 2 darls he would make it. Imagine the love she had for Adam and treated / trusted him 👏 by her own child, when we all know what a child means to a mother. Nothing more to add here. 😊

true Eve's side of the story is unknown. who knows what was going through her mind...i dunno.

but yes she must;ve trusted and loved adam a lot to have left her first born with him....but she was extremely unfair to him i think.

i think tht was really irresponsible........ tht was nt fair at all..... nt to her own child or her partner "adam"......

she didnt fulfill her duties as a mother nor as a partner........ i mean i understand tht she wanted to save a life..... bt thts nt the way to go...... by saving one life she sacrificed two other lives and nt including her own......

she shud've first of all told adam abt the pregnancy situation...... and secondly she shud've consulted with adam...... they shud've made a decision together...... and im sure adam wud've wanted eve to save her own life...... and in the future if they wanted kids then there are so many other options....

Originally posted by: raj5000

Sad to hear that Eve had to go... for all Eve/Adam/kids = peace/wishes/love+luck+wishes.

Now then, I will not ty to be judgmental here, basically becuase Eve's side of story is unknown... what if she really wanted to give utmost happiness to Adam by bearing his own child, after having the confidence on Adam 👏 ... that with 2 darls he would make it. Imagine the love she had for Adam and treated / trusted him 👏 by her own child, when we all know what a child means to a mother. Nothing more to add here. 😊