Is Karvachauth wrong? - Page 2

Originally posted by: maha2us

I am a male person. I still could not understand what is the need of a fast like karvachauth. And I believe if I am truly loving my wife, nothing needs to be imposed on her even what the society exists. All that is needed is husband and wife have to be understanding each other and improve being more caring, tender and gentle to each other. Especially if a woman is pained by her husband and if she is forced to do this fast, it is gross injustice to her.

Still I have one question based on what we see in the society and what they show in serials and films. Normally when a woman dies, the norm of the society is the man finds another wife. But when a man dies even in his young age, the woman is reluctant to marry again. Why is it so? I am not sure how much the society has changed. But in the serials and films they show, when a man is widowed or divorced, he would find another wife very soon. When a woman is widowed or divorced she is reluctant to marry again. Especially when I see serials I wonder, a woman becomes reluctant to marry another man after she has left a bad husband even as the new man is showed to be decent, And I am not sure, how much painful it is to live as single. because a woman is reluctant to marry again, she is always blessed as 'Sada Suhagan raho' or it is expected the husband is to outlive the wife?

But I do like to see women also marry again after they are divorced from a bad husband.

Originally posted by: BirdieNumNum

lemme be the dissenting opinion here.😆 I think karvachauth is one of the most beautiful rituals IF the woman can and wants to do it of her own free will and does not resent it. It brings romance and closeness and love that no amount of wining and dining can accomplish.😆 If society invents customs that men can observe, i'd also be all for it. Meanwhile, women who dont like the custom should not be trashing an occasion that a lot of other women look forward to on their own, and that makes the woman feel like a woman who belongs to her soul mate. It's as much about women feeling special as it is the guy. If we throw away all these rituals, we'd end up with relationships that are simply transactional, with all the attendant problems of the modern couple, give and take to a point where it just becomes a business exchange.😊

Originally posted by: BirdieNumNum

lemme be the dissenting opinion here.😆I think karvachauth is one of the most beautiful rituals IF the woman can and wants to do it of her own free will and does not resent it. It brings romance and closeness and love that no amount of wining and dining can accomplish.😆 If society invents customs that men can observe, i'd also be all for it. Meanwhile, women who dont like the custom should not be trashing an occasion that a lot of other women look forward to on their own, and that makes the woman feel like a woman who belongs to her soul mate. It's as much about women feeling special as it is the guy. If we throw away all these rituals, we'd end up with relationships that are simply transactional, with all the attendant problems of the modern couple, give and take to a point where it just becomes a business exchange.😊

Originally posted by: joie de vivre

It's a relic of a shockingly misogynistic past. A woman's social status and worth is tied to her husband's existence, which is why she prays for his long life, because without him, she is worthless and a social pariah. India's treatment of widows has been - and remains to be - absolutely and staggeringly barbaric. How ANY woman can NOT feel insulted by this load of drivel is beyond me.

As for women 'choosing' to partake in this sh!t... it's a bit like Muslim women who choose to wear the burqa and call it their 'choice' or women who get boob-jobs and expect society to treat that as something not deserving censure because they are just exercising their volition. These women might be making a choice, but they are also entrenching misogyny and inequality and their actions indicate that they are victims of a culture of inescapable misogyny and sexism.

The sooner women come to their senses and stop showing totally unwarranted and unnecessary respect to their husbands, the sooner these men will learn how to see women as their equal. As for the in-laws, they should fu(k off to the darkest circle of hell or mind their own damn business. Cultural relativism shouldn't be used here as a get out of jail card in these cases.

There tends to be a very fine line between social conditioning and expectations vs. one's own free will.

A woman who gets breast augmentation may do it on her own with no pressure. She does it because she wants to look and feel great with bigger boobs. She tells herself that this is for me, because I love me'. Yet, despite that somewhere subliminally there can be the pressure - flat chest isn't attractive, men desire bigger boobs, you're pretty - but you could look prettier if only your boobs were bigger.

I think the something similar happens with burqua or ritual fasting. A woman who follows traditions is revered and elevated. She is described as honorable, loving, traditional, respectful and a lot of other praises. She is said to understand the importance of culture and preserve the romance and beauty behind traditions. Most women want to be treated special. No one wants to feel as if they lack any of these positive qualities. So many women engage in these traditions. They do it wholeheartedly and are exceptionally happy doing it. They don't feel that they have been forced. But at a subliminal level there is some conditioning.

Of course it is hard to separate the free will from conditioning. We would appear petty, nitpicky and ridiculous if we tried to distill every human action. We belong to society and we all do things to fit in more. So whether it is to keep a fast, get bigger boobs or whatever individual choice must be respected.

At the same time the message must be stated that you don't need to do anything to fit in or feel special or appear good. Every man and woman deserves the chance to be considered good and feel special, irrespective of their appearances or how strictly/loosely they adhere to tradition.