Lying about virginity - Page 4

Originally posted by: sonali_k

Aparna said,
Just to get it straight i too I DO NOT SUPPORT PROMISCOUITY !! NOR DO I SUPPORT TEANAGE SEX!!

What abt lying? Do you support that? Would you tell your daughter its ok to have pre-marital sex and then lie about it to her future husband?

Originally posted by: Pradarshak

I can see a huge debate is going on. Enjoying everyone's views.

First and the fore most thing would be no lying in a relationship like this which is very delicate unlike blood relations.

From the girl's action, she should confess her past to embrace a new relationship(if asked or given much importance). Having a pre-martial relationship is not something condemnable, some succeed in them while some fail. We are prone to make mistakes. What is important is what we learn and try not to repeat them.

From the guy's action, I can see that he expects someone who is physically untouched and that matters to him a lot. May be he also saved his virginity(just my guess), nothing wrong in his action.

But my big question is, what about intangible factors like heart, mind or brain. Suppose a girl who never been in a physical relationship but is deeply in love with someone else(whom she can never forget in her life and her mind is completely occupied with this person's thoughts and memory). Does that matter to him too? I think that would damage the relationship more than the "damaged tissue".

Problem here is, the entire concept of "Male virgins" just don't seem to exist anymore! Almost every male who has had pre-marital sex wants a virgin wife, and that is just bull. And according to polls in various magazines (real sources) and Planned Parenthood researches, more than half the male populations ( by half I mean anywhere from 51-84%) in various countries (including India) have had pre-marital sex.

What I said is based on polls and researches I have read over many years from real (not fake) resources. It could be a little off, or maybe it is accurate, so don't attack me for this.

When so many males don't save their virginity for marriage, then why is the issue over the "tissue" arise?

Maybe the man didn't save his virginity. He could be lying too, so why are we all worried if the girl is lying? Does anyone ever care if the male is virgin???? When my aunt's family were looking for a groom for her (abot 10 years back) the girl asked if he was a virgin, and from my mom I heard he and his family got angry and left. Go figure😕

At this point I feel like belting out a Christina Aguilera song "Can't hold us down":

So what am I not supposed to have an opinion
Should I be quiet just because I'm a woman
Call me a b*tch cos I speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled

When a female fires back
Suddenly the target don't know how to act
So he does what any little boy will do
Making up a few false rumors or two

That for sure is not a man to me
Slanderin' names for popularity
It's sad you only get your fame through controversy
But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say

This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave them proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down

\Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Never can, never will So what am I not supposed to say what I'm saying
Are you offended by the message I'm bringing
Call me whatever cos your words don't mean a thing
Guess you ain't even a man enough to handle what I sing

If you look back in history
It's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore

I don't understand why it's okay
The guy can get away with it & the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
Start a new beginning for us everybody sing

This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
What do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground

Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down Lil' Kim:
Check it - Here's something I just can't understand
If the guy have three girls then he's the man
He can either give us some head, sex her off
If the girl do the same, then she's a whore
But the table's about to turn
I'll bet my fame on it
Cats take my ideas and put their name on it
It's aiight though, you can't hold me down
I got to keep on movin'
To all my girls with a man who be tryin to mack
Do it right back to him and let that be that
You need to let him know that his game is whack
And Lil' Kim and Christina Aguilera got your back

But you're just a little boy
Think you're so cute, so coy
You must talk so big
To make up for small lil' things
So you're just a little boy
All you'll do is annoy
You must talk so big
To make up for small lil' things

This is for my girls...
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down

This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
Spread the word, can't hold us down

****Pay attention to the underlined and bolded lyrics****

And excuse me if any words are bad, I just wanted to make a point through posting this song and higlighting some lines from the song😊

Originally posted by: MonicA#1Actress

Problem here is, the entire concept of "Male virgins" just don't seem to exist anymore! Almost every male who has had pre-marital sex wants a virgin wife, and that is just bull. And according to polls in various magazines (real sources) and Planned Parenthood researches, more than half the male populations ( by half I mean anywhere from 51-84%) in various countries (including India) have had pre-marital sex.

What I said is based on polls and researches I have read over many years from real (not fake) resources. It could be a little off, or maybe it is accurate, so don't attack me for this.

When so many males don't save their virginity for marriage, then why is the issue over the "tissue" arise?

Maybe the man didn't save his virginity. He could be lying too, so why are we all worried if the girl is lying? Does anyone ever care if the male is virgin???? When my aunt's family were looking for a groom for her (abot 10 years back) the girl asked if he was a virgin, and from my mom I heard he and his family got angry and left. Go figure😕

I missed the debate! 😭😭... but i must say... wonderful debate between Buffie and Aparna di👏.. Seriously Buffie, I truly appreciate ur language skills!! 👏😳

Monica... the question u asked is relating to the unwritten rules of the society.. unfortunately there are double standards..Finally someone here talked abt "Wht is practically done" rather than "Wht should be done -Minnie😊 .. See, i personally don't support lying (and pre-marital sex) in this case that it will cause nearly a catastrophe (IN REALITY) if the so-called virgin boy finds out abt this girl. For me the ground of such a relationship is based on lying and it is not going to turn good for both parties i.e. i highly doubt the sustainability of marriage.. even if this matter goes in the court for divorce, the reason will be stated in front of all the people (Im far stretching the matter).. I know the girl should have thought abt it b4 but she didn't, call it her immaturity, indecisiveness, inability to see the future etc, etc.... but now wht should she do... all of us are making the girl stand in the criminal box for lying.. but wht should she do NOW - either lie or accept the boycott from the society PLUS the shame and anger of her parents...If i just see the girl in the light of moral ethics and codes, then i don't support her.. but now i think this is a complicated situation for the girl... this is her decision for choosing the better of the two worse. And wht i think that she is marrying not the guy but his good looks wealth education etc. and he is demanding the return of his +ve points by asking the virginity question.😳

I like wht Pradarshak asked abt mind, soul, heart!👏 Where materialistic things are important and of course do matter for some people, where goes such immaterial things??? Are we paying any attention to them?

Originally posted by: MNMS

I like wht Pradarshak asked abt mind, soul, heart!👏 Where materialistic things are important and of course do matter for some people, where goes such immaterial things??? Are we paying any attention to them?

Thanks MNMS. I am glad that you understood what I tried to mean.

Originally posted by: MonicA#1Actress

Monica, I think you misinterpret what I meant. In general cases may be you are right. But in this particular case, I don't know the guy's personal life. So, I guessed that could be true too that he is a virgin and expecting same from his female parter. May be it's his own principle which he values most that his partner should be a virgin. So, what's wrong in expecting that from his pooint of view. Whether his thought is back-dated or not, that's a different issue. If you are not a virgin admit and don't go to him, simple. Why go to someone, who cares so much about one's past life?

Aparna said

I would refer to Minnies response as to why would tell my daughter to hide the fact about the pre- marital sex.

But if there is some issue where she is having problem in getting married( lets say she is manglik) then yes. The reason being this small lie will not impact her married life in my opinion. If its a big lie i agree that will impact then you must start clean.

Aparna, you were calling the virgins "hypocrites" but what you are suggesting is the biggest hypocrisy. i.e. have pre-marital sex and lie about it. [edited..............]
And in this case, I have sent an email to that guy that she is lying to him along with the names of the guys. I dont think a lying who*** deserves a guy like him. Of course its an anonymous email. And some people here might think it was wrong of me to do that. But she basically had no guilt about lying and I cannot see an innocent person get cheated like that.

Originally posted by: sonali_k

Aparna said

I would refer to Minnies response as to why would tell my daughter to hide the fact about the pre- marital sex.

But if there is some issue where she is having problem in getting married( lets say she is manglik) then yes. The reason being this small lie will not impact her married life in my opinion. If its a big lie i agree that will impact then you must start clean.

Aparna, you were calling the virgins "hypocrites" but what you are suggesting is the biggest hypocrisy. i.e. have pre-marital sex and lie about it. I am sorry ------------edited--------
And in this case, I have sent an email to that guy that she is lying to him along with the names of the guys. I dont think a lying who*** deserves a guy like him. Of course its an anonymous email. And some people here might think it was wrong of me to do that. But she basically had no guilt about lying and I cannot see an innocent person get cheated like that.

-----------edited--------. And I bet if your friend had been a guy, and he was the non-virgin, you wouldn't have been concerned at all. And this is the harsh truth. Not only did you betray your friend, but you have proved that stupid double standards still do exist.

I have a question: You know that your friend is not a virgin, so how the hell are you sure he is virgin too?? Just because he didn't have a girlfriend doesn't mean he never slept with a prostitute or had a one-night-stand, which is very common among rich people in EVERY COUNTRY as I have seen in real life.