Is it right to talk back to parents?

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

simi_1

@simi_1

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#21

Think most parents are very protective of their children and that is why they always try to dictate terms based on their own little experience.

Talking back is a big no no for me, and know for sure that talking back will only aggravate the situation and if i do that with my mom it will only seal any remote chances of an affirmative reply from her

Making a point does not mean you talk back, & My mom and I don't always agree on everything, but I always ask her if she will let me explain myself, many times, she listens, and sometimes without a second thought she says NO, and I truly hate it

But just walk away hurt & crying, and eventually either she comes around or I get her point. SO far it has worked for us, and anyday prefer peace over arguments

Edited by simi_1 - 14 years ago

Quote

blue-ice.

@blue-ice.

Achiever

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#22

-Me talking back to my Mom was OK...I was making a point and she was not ready to listen...

-My daughter talking back to me...not OK...what does she think talking back to me...i am her Mom...

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Sundas

@x-Sundas-x

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#23

I agree with you. How can parents expect us to listen anything and not say a word? I think parent should be understanding they should know that their child has a right to say something. If I don't say anything to then they'll won't know what I feel. However when you're parents are angry just let them cool a bit then tell them listen I know you are saying this but hear me out. That's what I do. Let them talk first then talk when they are finished.

Quote

Mike303

@Mike303

Beginner

Posted: 14 years ago

#24

I think it is depend on the the tone you talk back.If you talk back screaming and shouting Ithink It's wrong but you can explain them smoothly after their anger end.

Quote

-Aarya-

@-Aarya-

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#25

Our Parents calls it 'talk-back' but we call it 'explaining', so which one is it? 😉 We need to put ourselves into their shoes before we can expect them to ever walk in ours! It's all about respect!

Quote

..Armaania..

@..Armaania..

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#26

Originally posted by: return_to_hades
I don't think it is right to talk back to anyone. All people deserve to be treated respectfully. Parents and kids ought to treat each other respectfully.

But if we don't talk to anyone, how would 'exchange of opinions' be performed?
None of the humans are perfect and neither do they possess a Hundred Percent Knowledge. To make our knowledge more strong, more effective, more valid we have exchange of opinion, knowledge and if it contains Validity then its more helpful than anything.
I mean if you interact with someone, that's not being disrespectful.
But if you interact with someone stating something illogical and out of the topic, that's respectful.

Indian culture has a tradition of respecting elders. Youngsters always have to put their head down and comply with their elders. Many elders also tend to feel entitled to this respect, and don't really earn it. Youth today are much more independent and exposed to the world, and have a much greater need to express themselves.

I so agree with this. Youth are independent and want to express themselves more often, hence, these clashes occur. Therefore, the subject has taken another route. Yes, a cultural difference can also be one of the reason but most importantly, as you pointed out its the difference of thinking between two generations. The older generation really behaved cordially with their elders when they were young, where as today's youth feels to stand up for themselves and for injustice which happens with them.

This often leads to clashes where elders think kids are being disrespectful and belligerent and the youth think elders are being unfair and unreasonable. It continues till people bridge the generational gap, give and receive respect mutually.

My dads side of the family is very open and even kids are treated as equals. My moms side is very traditional where children are seen not heard. When I was younger mom's side was frustrating and I always whined. But as I matured, I was better able to handle the cultural differences.

Whichever relationship it is, one among the two has to compromise to it. A relation without one person's commitments does not really conclude to successful relation, rather it becomes rationally weak. In a Parent-Kid relationship, either the Parent has to understand today;s youth and their priorities or the Kid has to understand the reservedness of their Parents.One has to compromise and that's indispensable. So in some cases, Parents compromise and in some cases the kids.

Quote

..Armaania..

@..Armaania..

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: rahmona_pakswe
The fight I sometimes have with my 10-year old. Yeeesh! And I hate when she talks back because as a parent I feel like she isn't giving me enough respect. But that's how almost every parent feel. I remember when I was in my early teens. My mum always complained how I talked back and not giving her respect. My biggest issue was my big mouth (still is an issue 😆). The big difference might also have been because she grew up in Pakistan wherelse I grew up in Europe. She never questioned her parents or anyone for that matter. But I questioned everyone and everything. 😆

Now I'm not saying that being born and raised outside India/Pakistan makes you more rude or something but the culture is different. In Pakistan, when my mum was a young girl, she was taught to obey her elders and never to question anything. The word 'why' was a big no no. It was a way to instigate fight. Wherelse here in Europe, going to school, I was taught to ask 'why' all the time which irritated my mum to the core. Which further on led to some quarrels between us.

Sorry for going off-topic but going back to the question. No it's not right to talk back not to your parents or anyone else. Not even kids. But we do that all the time, even knowing it's wrong, because we are humans and when we feel our authority is questioned or we are being wrongly accused it's naturally to react like that.

Hopefully you all understood what I've been trying to say in my post. I can be quiet unclear when it comes to explaining and forwarding my opinions. Sorry!

Also everything above mentioned is my personal opinion.

Hey I liked your comment so quoting you. :D
I really dont agree with the fact that kids raised up in foreign countries have no idea of constitution of giving respect and knows only to take up respect. That's exactly what you wouldn't mean but partially you agree with it?
Yes, the environment does play a major role in development of such qualities but if a Person is right, his opinions cannot be moved by any environment. Plus, you have been through your teenage time. You never meant to dis respect your parents and share your opinion but to them it seemed answering back and disrespectful act to indulge in. Living in Europe, a person can develop negativeness more than this one which is just piece of misunderstanding. And some really awesome Europe people you can see who are obedient also. :D

See all I can say is, you have faced both phases of life. You've been a daughter, while your mom complained that your answering her back. And now its you who are complaining that your daughter answers you back. When you were a daughter, you never meant to be rude to your mom, likewise, your daughter is never meant to be rude.
As return-to-hades mentioned today's youth are much more independent and feel like expressing themselves. Twenty(or whatsoever) years back for you it was expressing yourself, and now after this much years for your daughter its expressing herself. So dont ever feel she is disrespecting you, hun?
You seem a good human being, so that's why got concerned. Take care.🤗

Quote

Tahmina Aliya Begum

@-Aliya-

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#28

I guess with these things you have to think of how different people would react differently. Some people get even more frustrated when people try to talk calmly because to some its an annoying calm lol don't ask how but it is to some. Or they get annoyed that you brush off what they say or they think your brushing it off because you are speaking in a calm tone.

I think parents tolerate quite a load from their children. Sometimes when they overeact over something like this then its probably because they have built up their irritation and load or they're just a tad moody.

my parents sometimes do say i'm talking back when I am trying to explain calmly so I think its best to remain quiet until a better time. When I try talking calmy back to my parents I tend to take on a bored tone unintentionally which doesn't help lol

its not only parents who have issues with talking back, its teachers too. So I think its just built up frustration sometimes..

apologies for the essay lol

Quote

dunno

@Mindbender

Sparkler

Posted: 13 years ago

#29

Originally posted by: heroin.
I had a fight with my mom recently and it left me thinking - 1) Why do parents get so mad at 'talking back'?, 2) Do you think kids should never talk back?

Basically, we were both very tired. She asked me to do some chore and I said I'll do it later. She got annoyed and started making faces. I was in no mood to talk it out with her so I just told her that there was no need to make faces. She exploded in my face and started yelling for no reason. I tried explaining in a calm manner but she wouldn't listen. She said some hurtful things and when it got too much, I told her not to cross the line.

But when we tried to talk about it the next day, she kept saying 'you were talking back', when I wasn't, I was just explaining calmly. So I don't understand, why do parents get so annoyed even when you just open your mouth?

Opinions needed.

You come across as the mom and your mom, the kid - the way you've described the incident. 😆

Why only single out parents? Don't we all in general get a bit mad whenever we are talked back. It has essentially to do with the fact that we try to impose an opinion on someone and when a person questions it, it hurts our ego.
However, i do agree that the present generation is much more open to debate than the previous generation. It is all a part of cultural shift. The parents, typically, are more orthodox than us because they were brought up in a more orthodox environment. The definition of open-mindedness changes with each generation. I am sure the present generation, however much open minded it might consider itself to be, will find certain acts of the next generation ridiculous and similarly, the next generation is bound to find the present one rigid in many departments.

As regards, talking back at parents being considered- I believe, one should obviously express his/her views, but never forget to give them the respect they deserve. In general, my observation tells me that we tend to be harsher while dealing with our parents than while dealing with anyone else, while it should be the vice versa. Never take them for granted, and if, perhaps they are against your "talking back even when you were only explaining" ,give them a break ; they have given you many !:)