Is it right to talk back to parents?

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Neeta

@U-No-Poo

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 14 years ago

I had a fight with my mom recently and it left me thinking - 1) Why do parents get so mad at 'talking back'?, 2) Do you think kids should never talk back?

Basically, we were both very tired. She asked me to do some chore and I said I'll do it later. She got annoyed and started making faces. I was in no mood to talk it out with her so I just told her that there was no need to make faces. She exploded in my face and started yelling for no reason. I tried explaining in a calm manner but she wouldn't listen. She said some hurtful things and when it got too much, I told her not to cross the line.

But when we tried to talk about it the next day, she kept saying 'you were talking back', when I wasn't, I was just explaining calmly. So I don't understand, why do parents get so annoyed even when you just open your mouth?

Opinions needed.

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kaafiristani

@kaafiristani

Explorer

Posted: 14 years ago

Luckily I never had that problem with my mother father was a different story he would beat us like there was no tomorrow with a heavy belt , mother was the voice of reason and the calming influence in the house. Maybe you should'nt have told her to stay in her limits and let her vent that's how I would always deal with it, but i've hardly been in that situation so...

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Summer3

@Summer3

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

Ah life is complicated with these Adults.😆
Sometimes what they need are robots.
But generally a lot depends in how much time the Adults spend with the kids. If more time is spend then there will be greater understanding.
Mistakes at times are quite common especially when tired. But that does not mean there is no love.
Parents want kids to stay out of trouble and want the best for them.
But try not to upset the mum n you will escape the Hell. Just say okay first n then plan your time. But if they see you studying very hard they will not ask you to do chores.
😉

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blue-ice.

@blue-ice.

Achiever

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

Ahh the kids these days...Sorry I am just tired...

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Summer3

@Summer3

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

The question often asked is whether parents want a very clever kid or an obedient kid.
Basically each kid is different and have their own personality. They respond to different methods too. But parents have to teach them to be more independent and responsible.

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anupama

@anu-radha

Navigator

Posted: 14 years ago

ahh..its common,and it happens in evry house,but the thing is the way u manage it...first of all u shuld have said like "ok,will do it" in a good way.(without any angry sort of exprssn)..may b just for a moment...then u can do tthat later...

sumtimes these things (talk back)might bring a little distance b/w u and parents esp mom...

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Summer3

@Summer3

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

Some Tips quote:

No matter what you may sometimes think, your parents love you; it is just that they may not know how to act and communicate with you. Just keep trying.

Do not get into a situation where you are trying to earn their love, that is not something you should have to earn, you do not have to impress them for them to treat you in a respectable way. Always listen and take what they say as a tip for the future.

If your parents still won't budge, you can talk to another relative such as a brother, sister, cousin, auntie, uncle, grandparent, friend of your parents or any trusted friend.

Sometimes people with disabilties, especially hidden ones such as autism and Asperger's Syndrome do need to be supervised a little more than others. This doesn't mean they are treating you like a baby or being mean to you, it's because they need a little more care than others and that they love you and care for you, as people with autism/Asperger's Syndrome can be too trusting and naive, which can make them very easy targets for teasing, getting into trouble, difficulty and bullying. An example of naivety is when a person with Aspergers think that everyone is their friend and they don't always realise when someone is a true friend or a backstabber (nice when the person is present, but nasty when the person is absent) and they cannot always read body language. For example, they don't always know whether a person is telling the truth or lying.

Once in a while everybody has a bad day. Don't let your feelings out by giving your parents a hard time. A good way to do that is to keep a diary. It will make both you and your parents feel better.

Edited by Summer3 - 14 years ago

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 14 years ago

I don't think it is right to talk back to anyone. All people deserve to be treated respectfully. Parents and kids ought to treat each other respectfully.

Indian culture has a tradition of respecting elders. Youngsters always have to put their head down and comply with their elders. Many elders also tend to feel entitled to this respect, and don't really earn it. Youth today are much more independent and exposed to the world, and have a much greater need to express themselves. This often leads to clashes where elders think kids are being disrespectful and belligerent and the youth think elders are being unfair and unreasonable. It continues till people bridge the generational gap, give and receive respect mutually.

My dads side of the family is very open and even kids are treated as equals. My moms side is very traditional where children are seen not heard. When I was younger mom's side was frustrating and I always whined. But as I matured, I was better able to handle the cultural differences.

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neha

@neha333

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

i know sometime its difficult to deal with parents
but it doesnt mean we shoult give them bck ans
instead we should discuss our problems with them

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Believe

@-Believe-

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: heroin.
I had a fight with my mom recently and it left me thinking -

1) Why do parents get so mad at 'talking back'?,

2) Do you think kids should never talk back?

The problem, I think every parent is trying to make the child into something other than he/she is,They are telling the child to become a Dr,Engineer or sachin blah blah things...If the child is afraid of the parent, love and understanding is not possible vice versa! their whole effort is to fulfill their ambitions through the child...like this situation,they cant fullfill their parents abitions, they will never get satisfaction...then arguments happen, Personaly i never argue with my dad, he is so friendly.,we use to drink together now a days...but smal small arguments are natural, When I was a in collage, got one week suspension for ragging na nepali guy ,then dad told stop study n work in his godown, one week suspension+one week worked as a cooli then with the help of mom,rejoin collage, but after collage normaly our attitude also change...till certain age(16/17een) parents should give direction and opinion and advice to their kids.. they are to support, they are to strengthen, thy are to nourish, bt not to impose their ideas, they are not try to create slaves.. if parents give some space and freedom to their kids then he can learn...he can understand the world...he can create his own individuality...When I was young, I played outside the house until 7PM or 8pm, I never called my parents on my cell, I drank pipe water while playing, I had fights with other children, and you know what? I SURVIVED.😆 Please, let kids be kids!

Edited by Prometeus - 14 years ago